Quiet, she thought, too quiet. It hasn’t been this quiet in so long. Molly wandered from room to room, not quite sure what she was doing. She straightened the pillows on the sofa, even though they were fine where they were. She wandered into the kitchen and looked around for something, anything out of place.
Sighing, she made a cup of tea and sat at the kitchen table. She knew it was a mistake to sit. When she sat alone, she started to think. Thinking was bad, thinking led to tears.
How did a mother bury her child? How did a mother go on? she wondered. Was it even possible?
Fred had moved out years ago, but it was the knowing he would never walk through the door again that she couldn’t accept. It was the knowing she would never hear his voice again that had the tears falling.
She knew others didn’t understand. Others who had never lost a child that couldn’t possibly understand what it was like when part of your heart was missing. It didn’t matter she had six other children and one who looked like the lost son and whose voice was so close to the child now gone.
Molly knew her life would never be the same. A parent is not supposed to bury their child, a parent should never have to face living without a child she gave birth to.
*****
Just a little bit longer, Mrs Weasley,” the Healer said. “Is the anti-pain charm still holding?”
“No, yes, a bit,” Molly answered. “I am fine.” She looked at her husband. “We are about to add two more children to our family, are you okay?” she asked him.
Arthur nodded. “I am just great, but this isn’t about me. Are you okay?” he asked, concern in his voice clear.
Molly smiled. “I am just wonderful and in a minute or two, we will be even better.”
*****
Molly smiled as she let her mind remember the shock of the two tiny babies who had been delivered minutes later. They had been tinier than Bill and Charlie and looked exactly alike.
Those first few weeks were difficult. Having three children running around while taking care of two tiny babies took every second of every day. She barely had time to think, let alone sleep. For the first time, she had to use a hover charm to feed one of her children. Both babies insisted on eating at the same time.
In fact, they did everything at the same time. The cried at the same time, laughed at the same time, learned to roll over and crawl at the same time. There was only one thing she could think of they hadn’t done together...
No, she scolded herself, don’t think about that. Think about anything but that.
*****
Mum, cried the boy, they are at it again. Make them leave me alone.”
“Percy, they are outside, not bothering you,” Molly said.
“Mum, they were in my room, they messed up my books,” Percy answered.
Sighing, Molly turned from the sink and looked at her son. “Percy, just go and fix your books. I’ll tell them to stay out of your room.”
She heard the crying before the door burst open and her two year old son came running through the door. Turning, she quickly scanned him for cuts or bruises and not seeing anything, she knew it had to be something the twins had done.
Stooping, she drew Ron into her arms. “What’s wrong, sweetie?” she asked gently.
“T-t-teddy,” he stuttered. He pointed outside and looked back at his mother.
“Where’s Teddy? Did you leave him outside?” she asked.
Ron shook his head. “Sp-sp-spiders,” he said and began crying again.
Molly was confused. She knew now the twins had definitely done something. Standing she went over to the door and opened it intending on yelling for Fred and George. She found them standing there with their ears pressed to where the door had been moments before chuckling softly.
*****
Molly’s smile grew a bit wider as she thought about the scolding she had given them for turning Ron’s teddy bear into a spider. Looking down at her cup, she realised she had finished it while she had been caught up in the memories. Standing, she made herself another cup of tea and then sat back down.
*****
"Molly, they will be fine. I am more worried about how Hogwarts will survive the twins than I am about those two surviving Hogwarts,” Arthur said to her as he draped his arm over her shoulders. He turned her away from the now empty train track and led her back a few steps to where Ron and Ginny stood waiting for them.
“I know, it is just so hard to say goodbye,” she said. She smiled down at her other two children. “How would you like to go and have some ice cream?” she asked them. “Arthur, do you need to get to work, or can you come to Diagon Alley with us?”
“I can take another hour or so,” he said. “Do you want to walk? It is a nice day out.”
“Yes, let’s walk,” Molly answered as she reached out for Ron’s hand. She smiled as Arthur took Ginny’s hand in his. Daddy’s little girl, she thought.
*****
She guessed she should have known Arthur was right in being more worried about the school than the twins. She lost count of the letters she had received from Minerva and Albus over the years. She often wondered about the pranks that they weren’t caught at.
And then there was the day they flew into the front yard and announced they had just quit school. The row that had followed had been one of the loudest they ever had. In the end, she had told them that if this was what they wanted, she would stand by them. She always stood by her children even when she disagreed with them. Deep down, she knew that there were priorities in life and family was the most important of all.
“Molly, it is time to get ready,” he said gently.
Molly looked at her husband blankly. She hadn’t heard him come in the house. “I was just sitting here remembering...remembering him as a child,” she said her voice breaking.
Arthur smiled briefly, he, too, had spent the past few hours thinking about Fred as a child. He wondered what memories Molly had thought about.
“Do you remember when their letter came? You would have thought they had won a contest or something,” Arthur said.
Molly nodded and let her mind again drift back in time.
*****
Mum, Mum, wake up,” Fred said as he shook her.
“It came, it came,” said George as he, too, began shaking his mother.
“We are going-” began Fred.
“-to Hogwarts,” finished George.
“Oh, good,” she replied, hiding her smile at her sons’ happiness, “go and pack your trunks then. You don’t want to miss the train.”
They got almost to the door before turning and staring at her. “We don’t have our books,” said George.
“Or anything. And the letter says the train doesn’t leave until the first of September,” said Fred as George nodded vigorously next to him.
Molly heard Arthur chuckle next to her. She reached over and hit him on the shoulder when she heard him mutter, “They got you there. Nice try, though.”
“Well, then go and get dressed and we will go to Diagon Alley in a little while,” she told them. “And don’t wake up...” she called after them, but heard the yells knowing it was too late. She dropped her voice and finished her sentence, “Ron and Ginny.”
*****
Coming back to the present, she said, “I don’t think they were ever dressed and ready to go anywhere as early as they were that morning.”
“I think you may be right. Molly, you need to get ready. It is almost time,” he said again, just as gently as the first time. He watched as Molly shook her head. “Molly, this is one of those things we don’t have a choice in doing. We just need to do it.” His tone of voice took a sterner tone. He hated doing it, but he knew he had no choice.
“No, I can’t. I can’t. Arthur, how do we bury our child? How?” she asked as the tears fell faster.
“I don’t know, I just don’t know how. But, we have to do this. We have to,” he said to her. Standing, he drew her to her feet and led her up the stairs to their bedroom. “Please get dressed. Molly, you can do this. You are the strongest person I know.” He bent down and kissed her on the cheek and then closed the door behind him.
Molly stood in the centre of her bedroom without moving for several minutes after she heard the door close. She walked over to the bed and collapsed on it sobbing.
I can’t do this,” she thought. I can’t bury my child. I can’t sit there and look at him not moving, it would be too much like...
*****
She was helping with the wounded when her head whipped up and she looked towards the doorway. She saw Percy and Bill carrying in another person and her heart shattered. Standing, she ran across the Hall to the spot where they laid the body down. She knew it was one of her children, she just knew.
“Fred!” she screamed as she dropped to her knees. “Fred, wake up!” She began shaking her son. Deep inside she knew it was too late but she was his mother, she could fix this. Drawing her wand, she began reciting every healing charm she knew. Over and over she tried until Arthur stayed her hand.
“Molly, he is gone,” Arthur said quietly, his voice breaking.
“NO! No, get Poppy,” she said as she pulled her hand out of his and began again with the charms. “GO! Get her now!” she insisted. She didn’t see Arthur nod to Bill to do as his mother asked.
“Molly, Molly!” said Madam Pomfrey as she knelt next to her. “Molly, he is gone. I am so sorry, but there is nothing we can do.”
Molly looked blankly at the Healer. She looked at her husband, a tiny bit of hope left in her eyes. When he shook his head, she collapsed in tears on her son’s chest. Time ceased to have meaning for her as she sobbed into her baby’s shirt.
*****
Laying on her bed, her sobs became more and more anguished. Arthur thought she was strong. He was wrong. She couldn’t do this, she couldn’t bury her baby.
“Why?” she said. ”Why would you take someone so young? So good? He had his whole life ahead of him. Why?”
She knew there was no answer to this question. Hadn’t she been asking the same thing since she dropped down beside his body? Hadn’t she offered herself in his place as she tried every spell she knew to save him?
She knew then just as she knew now, she could not survive this pain. This was beyond survivable. No, she was broken beyond repair. Oh, her body may not have realised it yet, but her heart and soul were shattered beyond repair. Her mind knew this, and soon, she prayed her body would realise it too.
Perhaps getting up and getting dressed, doing what everyone said she had to do would make her body realise it couldn’t go on. She would go to her son’s funeral, she owed that to him, but she would continue to pray her body would catch up with her mind, heart and soul.
She knew it couldn’t be long before her broken heart stopped beating. It couldn’t continue with the pain she was in. She was looking forward to it stopping and with it the pain. Until then, she would as she always did, do what she had to do.
A Mother Remembers by mudbloodproud
Chapter Notes:
I would recommend having a tissue or two handy for the end of this. Facing the possibility of this very situation, my muse has taken over.