Coming into the kitchen on a sunny December morning, Ginny announced, “James, today’s going to be a very important, exciting day.”
“Why?” asked James, failing to look up from his Burst O’ Magic Pumpkin Crunch Cereal.
“Albus and Lily are going to Auntie Hermione’s, and then just the two of us are going to spend the whole day in the Muggle world. We’ll be doing only the things Muggles would do, saying only the things Muggles would say, and eating only the things Muggles would eat,” said Ginny.
“Why?” James asked again.
“Because it’s very important that you understand how the majority of humanity lives,” explained Ginny. “Hermione said that it was a great success. That’s what she had Albus and Rosie do on their playdate last week. She recommended that we try it.”
“Why?” asked James for a third time.
“Honestly, James, you’re six, not three!” snapped Ginny. “Every word out of your mouth now does not have to be ‘why’! Run along now and get dressed. We’re leaving in ten minutes.”
“But I’m not done with my Pumpkin Crunch Cereal!” James protested.
Ginny twisted her wand in a complicated pattern and muttered a spell. “There!” she said. “You have exactly two minutes to eat all the cereal that’s in your bowl. If you don’t, it will disappear. I see you opening your mouth to protest “ don’t.”
After that, the day didn’t get any less trying. It took a while to even get out of the door because James was resisting the day’s activities with all his might. Although he finished his cereal in less than a quarter of the time he had been allotted, James insisted on taking his time getting dressed. Then, just as they were about to finally leave, Ginny realised that Lily’s diaper needed changing. By the time Ginny and her three children finally Flooed to Hermione’s, well over half an hour had elapsed.
Hermione was sitting on a stool at the kitchen counter, calmly flipping through a large book on magical law while simultaneously spooning porridge to Hugo, who still wasn’t adept at using utensils. Hermione always seemed so collected and in control, the mother Ginny wished she could be. She’d always assumed that she’d slip right into motherhood comfortably, much like her own mother had. She’d thought that Hermione, an only child and career woman, who would have struggled more with the transition. Ginny was always surprised that it was the opposite.
Hugo squealed suddenly, causing Hermione to look up. “Oh, hello, Ginny! I hope you don’t mind, but I decided to catch up a bit on my reading while I waited for you. I’m so behind! I wanted to finish re-reading this book four days ago. I really need to be more on top of things, or I’m afraid I’ll embarrass myself in front of my new department when I start working again next month.”
Ginny almost rolled her eyes. She could have told Hermione that there was no chance that the witches and wizards working in the Magical Law Enforcement office would find her ignorant, but she had a feeling that trying to convince Hermione of this would be fruitless. She knew Harry had tried many times, and she suspected Ron had as well.
Ginny handed Lily to Hermione. “Here’s Lily and Al. Wait, where is he?”
“Oh, I think he’s already in Rosie’s room,” Hermione responded offhandedly. “She said something earlier about them building castles for the garden gnomes out of popsicle sticks. I guess they’ve been planning it for days. She was so excited that I didn’t have the heart to tell her that Ron will probably be less than thrilled.”
“Big plans. That makes sense,” said Ginny, nodding. “Albus seemed quite excited this morning. He was dressed, had his bag packed, and was sitting by the fire before James was even up. Of course, he is the more responsible one, so maybe that isn’t too surprising.”
James tugged at his mother’s jumper. “Mum, can we go?” he asked.
Ginny gave him a skeptical look. “You’ve been dragging your feet all morning, and now suddenly you’re anxious to go?”
“Mummy, it’s even more boring to listen to you and Auntie Hermione talk and talk and talk,” he replied, scowling.
“Alright, Hermione, I guess James and I better be going,” Ginny said, giving an apologetic smile to her sister-in-law. “You’ve watched the kids enough that you know everything, right? Since Albus refuses to take naps anymore, just let him look at books quietly or something while Rosie lies down. Lily, on the other hand, should be going down for a nap in a couple of hours. I’ve brought some of her diapers. She’ll need changing after she wakes up…”
Hermione cut Ginny off. “Yes, I know the drill. Just go. You son is getting impatient.”
Waving, the mother and son walked out the door and into the garage. A minute later, though, Ginny reappeared in Hermione’s kitchen. “I forgot to get the keys from you,” she admitted.
“Don’t feel bad,” Hermione said. “When we did this last week, the engine wouldn’t start. I climbed under the car and had started to get all greasy before I remembered that I was actually a witch, and I could use magic to fix it. Just like that, with a few little spells, the car was running and we could start acting like Muggles again.”
Ginny laughed. “Bye, Hermione. See you this afternoon.”
~*~
“Are we there yet?” James asked from the car’s back seat.
“James, you don’t even know where we’re going,” Ginny said as she turned the car onto the main road.
“But are we there yet?” he repeated impatiently, banging his feet against the seat.
“No!” Ginny exclaimed.
“Where are we going?” James inquired.
“We’re going to the Muggle park near Auntie Hermione and Uncle Ron’s,” she told him.
“Are we there yet?” he asked again.
“No, but we will be in just a minute,” she said.
“Why are we going to the park?” he asked.
“What do you mean, James?” she questioned him.
“Muggle parks are boring,” James whined, tugging at his mother’s hair, which hung so tantalisingly in front of him. “I can’t fly on my toy broom or anything. I hate when you send me to Auntie Hermione’s and she takes us there.”
“James, it will be more fun than you think,” Ginny said. “Now stop pulling my hair!”
“But I don’t wanna go to the park,” he cried.
“We’re here, James,” she said, relief evident in her voice.
They got out of the car, and James slammed his door particularly hard. Ginny shoved a hat on his head, but she didn’t get the mittens on him before he ran off. He was back in a minute, though.
“Mu-u-um, it’s cold,” he wailed.
“You’ll feel warmer once you start playing “ and once you get these mittens on,” Ginny replied shortly.
“But I hate mittens,” he said, starting to dart away once more.
“James, why don’t you go play with those boys over there?” Ginny suggested. “They look like they’re having fun. Just put on your mittens first, please.”
Seeing the look on his mother’s face, James put on the mittens and went to join the mass of boys playing dodgeball. He didn’t know the rules to the game, and frustrated, stalked off to the playground.
It was a relatively nice December day, and many people were at the park to enjoy the nice weather. Ginny lost track of where James was for a few minutes amongst the throngs of children on the playground. When she did find where he was, the situation wasn’t good.
“Nobody should force elves make your Christmas presents,” James scolded the girl standing by the swing set. “My Auntie Hermione freed them many years ago.”
Ginny rushed over to where her son was standing and started pulling him away. “James Sirius Potter,” she hissed in his ear, “that girl’s probably a Muggle. Don’t you dare go telling her about the magical world.”
“My oh my,” said a nearby Muggle woman, “your son has quite the imagination!”
Ginny gave the woman a large, fake smile. “He sure does! At Halloween, he had his brother convinced that he knew a ghost named Nearly Headless Nick!”
~*~
“James, stop dragging your feet,” Ginny lectured. “We have to get to the electronics store, and it’s on the other side of the mall.”
“But Mum,” James replied very loudly, “I want to look at the pictures in the store posters. The look so funny! Why aren’t they standing so still?” He stopped to stare at an advertisement with a picture of a young man and woman in winter attire, waiting for them to start moving.
Sensing the strange looks of the people around her, Ginny made herself laugh. “Where do you get all of these silly ideas, from, love?” she asked for the benefit of the Muggles. She whispered to her son, “Muggle pictures don’t move. It’s just like the Muggle picture books Rosie has from her Granny Jean. The illustrations in those books don’t move either.”
“Oh,” James replied with some comprehension. “But why don’t Muggle pictures move?”
They were getting nowhere with the effort to blend in with the Muggles shoppers, so Ginny sighed with relief when she saw a burger place to go into. “James, how about we get some lunch?” she asked.
It seemed like a good idea. What could be so foreign to James about Muggle food?
“I’ll have a Caesar salad and a Coke, and my son would like a burger, chips, and a Sprite,” Ginny told the woman at the counter after they had waited in line.
“Would you like to make your son’s into a kid’s meal?” the woman asked.
“What comes in that?” Ginny inquired. She hoped the woman would talk fast, as James’s patience was limited. Already it looked like he might dart out of the restaurant and back into the main mall if something caught his eye.
“The same things you ordered ordered, but in smaller portions, because kids usually don’t finish everything they eat. It’s cheaper,” she explained. “Oh, and a little plastic toy comes with it, too “ some flying superhero from a new film. I forget which one.”
“What model of broom does he use?” James inquired, suddenly interested in the adult’s conversation. “Is it a Nimbus 3000, or, even better, a Lightningbolt? Or does he just ride a regular old Cleansweep 12?”
“You know, I think we’ll just skip lunch,” a very frazzled Ginny said over her shoulder to the woman as she yanked James out of the restaurant.
~*~
“So how was your day in the Muggle world?” asked Hermione. The late afternoon sun shone through the living room windows as she handed Ginny a cup of tea, and the reassuring sounds of James, Albus, and Rose happily playing could be heard from upstairs.
“I have a headache,” Ginny muttered, sinking down on Hermione’s sofa.
“I’m sorry,” Hermione said. “It was so enjoyable with Rosie and Al, but James is a very different child from them.”
“It’s okay, Hermione,” Ginny responded, trying to smile. “At least we had fun at the electronics store.”
“Really?” Hermione was surprised. Electronics stores were usually not the highlight of most people’s days.
“James actually kind of impressed me,” Ginny admitted. “We were getting batteries for Dad’s Christmas gift. As we waited in line, the man behind them was talking to his friend about the new iPod. I’d never heard of such a strange-sounding thing, so I asked the guy what the thing was. ‘Mu-u-um!’ James exclaimed. ‘How can you not know what an iPod is?’ He proceeded to explain in great detail exactly what they are and how they work.”
Hermione laughed, and then replied rationally, “I guess James is getting to an age where you still have plenty to learn from you, but he also might have a thing or two to teach you.
“Next,” Ginny said with small giggle, “he’ll be trying to teach me how to use the Internet!”
An Apple A Day by sorrow_of_severus
Chapter Notes: You guessed it -- J.K. Rowling owns Harry Potter, and I don't.
Chapter Endnotes: Many thanks to my always-amazing beta, Emma (Amortentia x), who was also kind enough to suggest the ending, and Momo Wellish, who gave me inspiration for the last line.