Peter Pettigrew stood before him putting on a brave face. Lord Voldemort knew it was just a façade, for his small and watery eyes gave away his fear. His thin, colourless hair was unkempt, dishevelled, and full of his own blood. His face was covered in cuts; he could barely stand on his feet since he was gravely injured. Yet, he did not give up.
‘So, tell me, Wormtail,’ he sneered and saw the faintest twitch on his mouth at the sound of his nickname. Lord Voldemort smiled. ‘Order of the Phoenix,’ he continued, ‘does that mean anything to you?’
Wormtail merely shook his head this time.
‘Liar!’ Lord Voldemort was getting tired, and he knew Wormtail was too. His Occlumency shields were weakened after those painful hours of torture, they had never even been good in the first place, but Lord Voldemort never saw what he wanted. Wormtail never spoke, let alone screamed in pain when the Cruciatus Curse was placed upon him. But once again, it was just a brave façade.
‘You think you can fool me, Wormtail?’ he inquired softly and menacingly as Nagini slid down his neck, onto the floor. Lord Voldemort stood up. ‘Crucio!’ he said, pointing his wand at Wormtail who fell upon the cold floor, twitching and twisting in pain. His face contorted from the pain. Lord Voldemort lifted the curse and stared at Wormtail. He was on the floor, panting loudly. Lord Voldemort smirked.
He raised his wand again. ‘Legilimens.’
And now Voldemort was walking alongside Sirius Black, James Potter and Remus Lupin in the corridors of Hogwarts in a bright spring’s afternoon. Sun spilled through the windows, into the school. He saw Mary Macdonald, the pretty fourth year Gryffindor he fancied. She was with a giggling group of friends who were pointing at his friends but not at him. They blushed every time one of them looked their way. Sirius winked at Mary, whose eyes twinkled as she flushed. A twinge of jealousy burned inside him.
Then he was on the Great Hall at dinner a few more years later; it was the Halloween feast. An enormous variety of delicious plates were served. His friends ate and enjoyed the feast, laughing and joking and talking about their newest Halloween prank. He wasn’t paying attention. He saw Nearly Headless Nick wandering through the seats of the Gryffindor table, chatting with students merrily.
‘Hey, Nick!’ he called. He wanted to know if Mary liked him or not after all these years, but he did not want to ask him himself. He was afraid of getting rejected, though he was not going to admit it.
‘Yes?’ said Nick once he was beside him.
‘Could you ask Mary Macdonald whom she fancies for me?’ he said in a low voice, hoping neither of his fellow Marauders heard. Nick gave him a small smile and nodded.
He watched Nick glide along the Gryffindor table and stopped next to Mary. He watched them talk, and then she giggled and blushed. She shook her head. Nick asked her something, and he saw her mouth move shyly and say: ‘James Potter.’
Now he was in the Gryffindor common room by the fireside with Remus. They were working on their Potions homework. He was holding a piece of parchment and he was biting his quill. Professor Slughorn had asked for a foot and a half long essay on the effects of Amortentia, the love potion. He spotted James in the corner of his eye. He was flirting with the beautiful redhead he fancied, Lily Evans, who thoroughly ignored him. But James never gave up’she was like a challenge to him.
He was furious. It wasn’t fair. He liked Mary so much, but she didn’t want him’she wanted one of his best friends who would never care about her as much as he did because James Potter wanted Lily Evans. It was not fair.
Afterwards he was watching James, Remus and Sirius, arguing heatedly in low voices. He approached them and they grew quiet as they saw him. He eyed them suspiciously.
‘What’s all this about?’ he asked.
‘It’s none of your business, Wormtail,’ Sirius snarled and stalked off.
He turned to Remus, who shook his head. Then he looked at James.
‘Sorry Wormy, I can’t tell you,’ said James with a sorry look on his face.
Then it was New Year’s, the year after their graduation of Hogwarts. They were all at James’s place, his now girlfriend, Lily, was standing by his side. James’s arm was wrapped around her waist; he leaned in and kissed her on the lips. When Lily lifted her hands and ran them through James’s already untidy black hair, he noticed something bright and shiny in Lily’s left hand. It was a ring, an engagement ring. He was jealous, terribly jealous. He wanted someone for him, someone who loved him, someone who wanted him, someone whom he would spend the rest of his life with. And he hated James for that.
Next he was at the Order of the Phoenix’s headquarters, Dumbledore was telling them about a new mission they had. He asked James, Sirius and Remus to do it, but not him. What was wrong with him? Did they not trust him? He looked at his friends, who were all thrilled and scared about their mission. Then he turned at Dumbledore who gave him a smile, but offered no explanation about his decision. Rage scorched inside him like a wildfire and he stormed out of the room.
‘Peter Pettigrew,’ Voldemort started in a sinister way, back in the present now. The corners of his mouth twisted into an unpleasant smirk. Peter suppressed a shudder. ‘The less liked one, the ignored one. How does that feel? Your friends do not trust you; they think you are worthless’ they think you are not brave. They think you are not as great as they are, but I know you are. You were always a tagalong, why? Because they didn’t want you to shine brighter than they did. Why are you in the Order of the Phoenix, if Dumbledore thinks of you so poorly? He does not trust you either, so why trust him?
‘Nobody wants you, Wormtail. Nobody cares about you, but I know you are very brave. I could make you great; I could teach you anything. You want something? I know I can give it to you. You want protection for your mother? I can give it to you. You want your’ friends dead. I can make it happen. Join me, Wormtail, join my army. We are more powerful than everyone else, even Dumbledore who stupidly thinks he can defeat me,’ Voldemort stared at Pettigrew who was devouring the lies he had just fed him. ‘What do you say?’
Peter entered the headquarters of the Order of the Phoenix. He wore a long-sleeved shirt despite the warm weather. The mark underneath his left sleeve had a spotlight every time he was around the Order members; he was afraid they would catch him, afraid they would figure out what he was doing and then he would end up dead. But they didn’t care about him, they wouldn’t notice, so why worry about that?
‘Hi, Wormy!’ Lily greeted him happily, snapping him out of his small reverie. Her green eyes were sparkling, her face was glowing. The baby bump she had was turning into something that he thought resembled a beach ball. She smiled. ‘How are you?’
‘I’m good, Lily. How’s the baby doing?’ he said, faking a smile and concern.
‘Oh, he’s doing great! Peter, he’s a boy!’ she said excitedly.
‘That’s amazing... that’s good,’ he replied distractedly as he walked into the headquarters’ drawing room where they held all their meetings. Everyone was there, Remus, Sirius, James, Frank and Alice Longbottom, Emmeline Vance, Elphias Dodge’ everyone was there except the Prewetts. His stomach filled with a burning sensation’guilt. But he let it subside as he sat down next to Remus who was very quiet. He looked very pale, very ill.
‘Hello, Moony. Full moon coming up?’ Peter asked, trying to make a conversation.
Remus offered his friend a kind smile and a nod. Peter smiled back.
He watched Sirius sit down next to James and Lily and start talking to James about the mission he was on last night while Lily was conversing animatedly with Alice Longbottom who was eight months pregnant, just like Lily. Emmeline was chatting with Auror Mad-Eye Moody and Elphias was talking quietly with Hestia Jones. Everyone fell quiet when Dumbledore walked in and shut the door behind him; a sombre look invaded his face. Peter swallowed nervously.
Dumbledore crossed the room and sat on his usual seat at the far end of the table. He cleared his throat. ‘I have terrible news,’ he started, looking around the room. Everyone’s faces had turned grave. ‘Fabian and Gideon Prewett were murdered by Death Eaters last night.’
Collective gasps and murmurs filled the room; Peter stared at his hands, twiddling his fingers. He felt guilty; he was the one who had given them away. Dumbledore spoke again, making him look up. ‘I ask you to be more careful with everything you say in public, we never know who is listening. Now, does anybody have any news?’
Everyone started stating their suspicions, names of suspected Death Eaters and talked about what they had found out in missions. Peter spoke up and said names of Death Eaters, the ones the Dark Lord had allowed him to say to make him look like he’s doing his job so he wouldn’t be expelled from the Order and prevented from leaking more information.
‘I would like a word with the Potters and the Longbottoms, if you don’t mind,’ Dumbledore said with a small smile at the end of the meeting.
Everyone hurried out the room, leaving Lily, James, Frank and Alice with Dumbledore. They talked for what seemed hours to Peter; the Dark Mark on his left arm was starting to burn. The Dark Lord was summoning his Death Eaters.
Finally, the Potters and Longbottoms left the room. James had this hard, cold look on his face, the look he always had when he was trying to hide his emotions. Lily’s emerald green eyes were full of tears; there were mascara streaks down her cheeks. Alice looked pretty much the same as Lily, and Frank looked set, determined as if he knew what was going to happen next, what he had to do.
‘Padfoot,’ James spoke first and Sirius hurried towards him. James started telling something to Sirius and his usually merry face turned grey, his eyes went wide and hard like James’s. Peter eyed them suspiciously.
‘Remus,’ Lily sobbed beside Peter, hugging Remus and crying. He saw Remus’s face turn the way James’s and Sirius’s had as Lily whispered words into his ears, tears couldn’t stop pouring out of her eyes.
All of the Order members were murmuring through the entire hallway, wishing to know what had happened to Lily, James, Frank and Alice inside the room with Dumbledore, but none of them dared to ask. Frank and Alice had already left and James had pulled Lily away from Remus, hugging her and comforting her. Remus and Sirius talked now, very quietly, both looked very serious. Peter loomed towards them.
‘What happened?’ he asked.
‘It’s none of your business, Wormtail,’ said Sirius, stalking off.
He turned to Remus, who shook his head with a sad smile. Then he looked at James, whose head was resting on Lily’s hair and was stroking her back. James glanced at Peter with an expression on his eyes that said: ‘Sorry, Wormy...can’t tell you’’
Peter sat next to the Death Eaters that had been summoned. He listened to the Dark Lord carefully. He wanted to kill Harry Potter because of a prophecy he had heard.
They all had a mission: find the Potter’s whereabouts.
I hate them, I hate them, I HATE THEM, he thought angrily, hexing and jinxing his possessions around his flat. Another Order meeting had gone by. Neither the Potters nor the Longbottoms were there. He had asked his friends where James was, but none of them answered. They didn’t trust him.
The Dark Lord was right, he had never really believed the words he said the night he had become a Death Eater--but now he did.
It was always the same, always the same. They did not trust him and a friendship was built by trust. They were not his friends, they were his enemies now.
But they did not know... they had no clue. They were completely oblivious to how powerful he was, to the number of people he had killed, to the fact that they could be the next Order members who were found dead. They underestimate him; they did not know.
Then, someone knocked on his door.
Peter, still furious, staggered towards the door and opened it. Surprised to see who it was there, he jumped back. Sirius was standing in front of him; his face was covered by a shadow of distress, of desperation.
‘Wormtail,’ he said.
‘What do you want, Padfoot?’ Peter answered, rather harshly.
‘Your help, Peter. I need you to come to Godric’s Hollow with me.’
Peter, ever so reluctantly, Apparated to the outskirts of the tiny town of Godric’s Hollow. Sirius was already there, waiting for him. Without a word, Sirius started walking.
They strolled through the deserted streets, for it was late, their footsteps echoed in the darkness. A few minutes later, Sirius stopped abruptly in front of a small cottage Peter had never seen before. He wondered what they were doing there.
‘Padf—’
‘Shh,’ Sirius said as he started his way towards the cottage. He opened the gate with a little creak and walked to the door. He knocked. Peter stood beside him, still puzzled until he saw who opened the door.
James looked startled to see him there with Sirius but welcomed him with a smile. He let them both in.
‘Hey, Sirius,’ James greeted quietly after he closed the door. ‘I’m surprised to see you here, Wormtail,’ he added, still smiling.
‘Sirius brought me here, but I don’t know why,’ Peter answered, speaking just as quietly as James had. They both turned to Sirius inquiringly.
‘About the Fidelius Charm, Prongs. I don’t think it should be me,’ Sirius started.
‘Why not?’ asked James.
‘Because I’m your best mate! Everyone knows you would pick me as a Secret-Keeper and they would automatically go after me and force me to tell them where you are hiding,’ he explained, though it wasn’t much of an explanation to Peter. He was feeling lost. James looked impressed, and then at Peter.
‘Voldemort and his Death Eaters would never think Peter as your Secret-Keeper, James. He should be the one,’ Sirius said. Lily suddenly walked in. Her now one year old child was sleeping in her arms. Harry looked just like James, Peter noted and then gasped. It all fell into place. The prophecy, Harry, Voldemort’
‘You’re right,’ James replied. ‘You’re right’ would you be Secret-Keeper, Peter?’
‘I have news for you, my Lord,’ Peter said. Voldemort stared at him.
‘About what, Wormtail?’ he inquired.
‘I know where the Potters are hiding,’ Peter said proudly as happiness boiled inside him. He was going to be rewarded among all others and James Potter, the man who always had what he wanted, would be dead...finally.