"Welcome, everyone, to the first GSA meeting of the year," Warren said. "As you can see, Augustus and I had the same idea about bringing refreshments, so there's plenty to eat and drink."
Warren smiled a tight smile as everyone surveyed the food. Warren was even more annoyed with Augustus than usual. He had upstaged him by getting the house-elves to cook up some appetizers as opposed to the pumpkin pasties Warren had brought. Not to mention, now that the story of the lost potions storeroom had circulated all around the school, Augustus had a much better idea about what Warren and his friends were up to this year. Augustus was also about to make things even worse.
"First order of business, I say we elect a leader," Augustus said to the gathered students. In attendance in the library that day were Warren, Wilbur, Fuzz-Head, Kendra, Augustus, Delilah Booth, a Hufflepuff girl named Anne Ableson that Kendra had invited, and Augustus had brought someone he introduced as Arthur Finklestein. He was a short, pale Slytherin boy with thick glasses who looked more like a confused Hufflepuff. Also in attendance was a friendly Gryffindor boy named Martin Davis, who had stumbled over by accident and then decided it would only be appropriate to stay.
"I started this club, and I am the leader," Warren said.
"I think it would only be democratic if we voted on who the leader was," Augustus countered.
"I nominate Augustus Gravelle," Arthur muttered.
"I nominate Warren Bones," Kendra said, smirking. She was using a napkin to wipe crumbs off the table. They all sat there for a moment, waiting to see if anyone else was going to speak. "Any other nominations? No? Then let's vote."
"All those in favor of having Augustus be the new leader, raise your hands," Arthur said. He raised his hand, as did Delilah and, for some reason, Martin. Then to Kendra's dismay, Anne raised her hand.
"Anne!" Kendra hissed at her. Anne shrugged. She thought Augustus was cute.
"All those in favor of having Warren continue to be our leader?" Wilbur said. To no one's surprise, Wilbur, Kendra, and Fuzz-Head raised their hands.
"I guess I am to be the new leader, then," Augustus said with a winning smile. Warren tried to smile pleasantly, but all he could think about was casting the bat-bogey hex on Augustus. Warren moved out of his seat, and Augustus took his place at the head of the table. "Second order of business, we will need a secretary to take the minutes. I nominate Delilah."
"I nominate Kendra," Warren said.
Kendra won this time, with both Anne and Martin voting for her. Kendra didn't look like she knew whether to be pleased or not, but she pulled out a piece of parchment and a quill, and began recording the elections.
"Alright, now that we have a new leader and secretary, let's start with the one item of old business that I remember," Augustus said. "I believe at the end of last year we briefly discussed having some sort of a fundraiser to make money to host a GSA dance. Does anyone have any suggestions for a fundraiser?"
"Are we sure we even want to have a GSA dance?" Warren asked. "If I recall, you were the one who suggested this, and I failed to see what exactly having a dance would do to bring awareness to Slytherin discrimination."
"I agree," Kendra said. "What's going to differentiate this GSA dance from a regular dance? Are you only allowed to bring a Slytherin as your date? I think we could brainstorm a little longer and come up with more useful ideas."
"I think it's a fine idea," Arthur said.
"Yes, well, you would," Fuzz-Head said. "I imagine it would be your only chance to get a date."
"That was uncalled for," Augustus said.
"Yes it was, Fuzz-Head, you should apologize to Arthur," Warren said. Fuzz-Head sighed.
"Sorry, Arthur."
Arthur nodded.
"Ms. Kettleburn, since you're so against my idea, do you have any other suggestions?" Augustus asked.
"Actually, I think it might be a good idea to have a display in the Great Hall of notable Slytherin witches and wizards of history, with their portraits and their accomplishments," Kendra said. Warren could tell that Augustus was torn. While he had wanted to have a dance, you could tell he liked Kendra's idea too. "This would also require some fundraising, as we would need to acquire portraits and supplies, but I think it would be an excellent way to bring awareness to the great achievements of Slytherins through the years."
"I agree with Kendra," Delilah said. "I think that's a much better idea."
It was voted on, and everyone voted for Kendra's idea except for Augustus and Arthur.
"Alright, since that's settled, we need to agree on a fundraising idea," Augustus said, taking his loss well. He knew Kendra had the better idea. "Let's all take a moment and think about possible ideas for raising money."
While they sat there and tried to think of a plan, Martin leaned over to Warren.
"Do you have an Elfrida Clagg card?" he whispered. "I can trade you a Bertie Bott."
"Certainly," Warren said, pulling out his Chocolate Frog Cards Keeper. He flipped through the plastic pages of cards until he found Elfrida Clagg. He then turned to Bertie Bott. He had three. "Hmm. I don't think I need a Bertie Bott. Do you have a Ptolemy?"
"Er, let me check," Martin said. He flipped through his own pile, and to Warren's delight pulled out a Ptolemy card.
"This is why you came over in the first place, isn't it?" Warren asked. Martin nodded.
"But it's interesting, and I didn't mean to interrupt," Martin said
"Well then, I hope to see you at all our meetings."
"I'll be here," Martin said.
The group brainstormed a little longer, until Fuzz-Head spoke up.
"What about a raffle?"
"What would we raffle off?" Delilah asked.
"How about the top box seat at all of this year's Quidditch matches?" Fuzz-Head said.
"Do you mean the one reserved for the Headmistress?" Augustus said.
"Yes. We could ask her if she would mind sitting somewhere else in order to help us raise money for the GSA. I'm sure she wouldn't mind, it's not that big of a deal where you sit, but lots of people would want to have her seat for a year," Fuzz-Head said.
"I think that's a great idea," Martin said. "I'd love to sit in the top box for the whole Quidditch season."
"I agree," Warren said. He looked over to Augustus, who nodded.
"Does anyone disagree?" Augustus asked. No one did. "Alright, then. I'll approach Professor Sprout after the meeting and present our plan."
"I think we should all participate in selling raffle tickets, but we should assign someone to make a list of noteworthy Slytherins, and someone to gather the other supplies," Kendra said.
"I'd be happy to research noteworthy Slytherins," Delilah said. "In fact, there's probably several trophies and awards in the trophy room that we could get permission to bring out as well."
"That's a great idea, Delilah," Augustus said. "And I think Warren should be in charge of the supplies."
Warren sighed. Augustus had picked him, knowing how many other things he had to do. Warren refused to let him get under his skin, though.
"Certainly, Augustus, I'd be happy to," Warren said, clenching a fist under the table.
"Excellent. Is there anything we should discuss before closing the meeting?"
The GSA meeting dragged on a little longer. Delilah had started a conversation about common misconceptions about Slytherins, and Fuzz-Head and Kendra had gotten a little too excited about coming up with those. Augustus had to argue with Kendra that "slimy" was not a common misconception of Slytherins, and neither was "contagious."
Everyone sighed with relief when the meeting finally ended, and Warren asked Fuzz-Head, Kendra, and Wilbur to stay behind.
"Alright, that was unpleasant," Warren said.
"Don't worry, Warren, we're going to get that git," Fuzz-Head said.
"And I'll help you gather the needed supplies," Kendra said. "You've already got enough to do."
"Thank you, but let's remember for next time to keep the hostility to a minimum. It doesn't do any good to counteract hostility with hostility. We have to rise above it," Warren said, despite his strong desire to rise above Augustus and drop a rock on his head. "That being said, I think we all did a fantastic job bringing about our first discovery."
"Absolutely," Kendra said, going around and picking up all the plates the others had left all over the table. "It was so exciting, I can't wait until our next discovery."
"How are things going with the portraits, then?" Warren asked.
"Sir Cadogan is still collecting. He has a few more stops to make before I can claim my portrait gold and start bribing my way to some information," Kendra said.
"Good. Wilbur and I have plans to meet with Ron Weasley if he's in town when we go to Hogsmeade. We hope he can tell us more about the mysterious room on the seventh floor," Warren said.
"I still have ghosts to talk to," Fuzz-Head said. "Hopefully Professor Binns can tell me something helpful."
"Excellent. We all on the right track, and our first discovery was a sensation. Let's keep moving forward."
Kendra didn't have long to wait. The next morning, on her way down to breakfast, Sir Cadogan came galloping up to her.
"Fair lady! Great news! I have completed your quest!" he called out. Kendra was skeptical.
"Are you sure?" she asked. "You collected from all the portraits on the list?"
"Indeed! Sir Warburton himself has told me your money awaits!"
"Oh, Sir Cadogan, that's brilliant!" Kendra said. Bad timing, though. "Alright, I need you to bring some gold to that grumpy guy selling cheese and wine, and bring some cheese and wine up to the Fat Lady on the seventh floor. I'll meet you there."
"At once, my lady!" Sir Cadogan said, and he galloped off through a portrait of an elderly witch, who had to jump out of his way.
Kendra ran down the stairs to the Great Hall and ran over to the Ravenclaw table where Warren and Wilbur were eating breakfast.
"Warren, Wilbur, I'm off to talk to the Fat Lady," Kendra said, leaning over the table to stuff a few rolls and pastries into her robes.
"What Fat Lady?" Wilbur asked.
"The one in the portrait on the seventh floor! I've finally got my bribe money, and hopefully she'll have something to tell me," Kendra said, grabbing a sausage.
"Kendra, that's fantastic," Warren said, spreading marmalade onto his toast.
"Anyway, just popped down to grab something to eat. I've got to get up to the seventh floor," Kendra said, and she hurried out of the hall and up the grand staircase again. She was quite exhausted by the time she had reached the seventh floor, and she stood in front of the Fat Lady panting.
"Password?" the Fat Lady said. Kendra looked up, startled. Ah-ha! she thought. This really is the entrance to the Gryffindor common room.
"No, I don't want to go in," Kendra said. "I just wanted to talk to you about something." She looked around with growing impatience, wondering what was taking Sir Cadogan so long.
"My goodness, what is it?" the Fat Lady asked.
"Hold on, I have someone coming to bring you a gift," Kendra said. The Fat Lady looked curious as she swung open and let a Gryffindor step out, who almost toppled over Kendra.
"Hey, watch out," the boy said. "What are you standing there for anyway?"
"Oh, push off," Kendra said. She finally saw Sir Cadogan galloping along on his pony, clutching several bottles of wine and a large cheese wheel. She sighed with relief. "Look, I've brought you some cheese and wine."
The Fat Lady's eyebrows shot up as Sir Cadogan delivered the goods into her portrait without running her over. He raised the visor on his helmet, gave Kendra a triumphant smile, and galloped off again.
"What a thoughtful gesture," the Fat Lady said, inspecting a bottle of wine. She soon swung open again and let out another Gryffindor. Geez, Kendra thought, why aren't all these Gryffindors at breakfast already?
"I was hoping to talk to you about Hogwarts," Kendra said. "I don't know if you heard about the discovery of the potions storeroom..."
"Oh yes! Goodness, I had no idea it was even down there! And how dreadful about the dead goblin inside, that must have been unpleasant," the Fat Lady said.
"Yes, well, it was. Anyway, I was part of the group that found it. We're going around trying to discover all the secrets of the castle, and I was hoping you might have something you could tell me about," Kendra said.
The Fat Lady began to nibble on some cheese while she thought to herself. She seemed to be more focused on the cheese.
"You know, I rarely leave this portrait," she said. "What with my obligation and all. It would be unseemly for me to leave very often or for very long."
"Have you heard of any secret passageways, forgotten artifacts, anything like that?" Kendra prompted. The Fat Lady frowned and nibbled her cheese.
"Hmmm...Let me think," she said. Kendra pulled a roll out of her pocket and began eating it while she waited. "Oh! Well, there is something amusing that Peeves told me about." Kendra doubted Peeves would have had any great revelations about the castle, but she smiled politely for the Fat Lady to continue. When she was too busy with her cheese to notice, Kendra spoke up.
"Oh? What did Peeves tell you?"
"He told me that there's an old garderobe off the sixth floor corridor. There's a secret passageway behind a tapestry of a horse," the Fat Lady said, giggling to herself. "Can you imagine?"
"What's a garderobe?" Kendra asked.
On the next free period, Kendra hunted down the boys and hustled them into an empty classroom.
"Alright, I know this will hardly compare to the potions storeroom, but the Fat Lady did give me some information regarding a secret passageway on the sixth floor," Kendra said. "I say we go check it out. I told the Fat Lady I'd check back with her just in case she thought of anything else."
"Where does this secret passage lead to?" Wilbur asked, jotting notes down in his book.
"I'll tell you when we get there," Kendra said.
They followed Kendra up the staircases to the sixth floor, where she followed the corridor until she came to the tapestry of a rather large and mean-looking horse. She paused while Wilbur wrote down a description of the tapestry, then pulled it aside so that the boys could enter. The passageway beyond the tapestry was small and cramped. It was also rather long. Kendra suspected it went to the very southern-most side of the castle. It soon led to a door, which they pushed open, and led into another corridor. This one was shorter and led to another door.
"Why is there another door?" Warren wondered aloud.
"You'll see," Kendra said. They opened the second door and discovered what looked like a wardrobe. There was a very faint unpleasant smell, and a slight draft.
"What is this?" Fuzz-Head asked, walking into the room. There was only one window in the room, high up and it had no glass. There were a few torches on the wall for some reason, and at the back was a low wooden bench with a hole in the middle of it.
"It's a long-lost garderobe," Warren said. Kendra gave him a nervous smile.
"What's that?"
"A garderobe was used in medieval castles as a privy. It's like a wardrobe and privy combined, actually," Warren said. "Clothes were hung along the walls, and you relieved yourself over on the bench. The aroma of the garderobe kept moths away from the clothes. The hole in the bench usually goes all the way down to a moat, where there are bars to prevent enemies from climbing up the garderobe and gaining entrance to the castle."
"I imagine they'd have to be pretty determined enemies," Fuzz-Head said.
"Since Hogwarts has no moat, this hole must lead to the lake," Warren surmised. "The torches are here to try and keep it a little warmer in the winter, when it would be freezing in here. There's two doors leading to the garderobe to keep down the smell, which is also why there's a open window."
"So we've discovered a toilet," Fuzz-Head said. Wilbur was taking notes in his book, glancing around the garderobe.
"The Fat Lady was having a hard time thinking of anything," Kendra said. "I'm sure she'll come up with something better."
"No, it's rather fascinating," Warren said. "Could you imagine having to use the toilet on a cold winter's day, and having to come into this place? I wonder if there are any others in the castle."
"I'll be sure to let you know if I find out," Kendra said, trying not to sound too sarcastic. Fuzz-Head stared down the hole in the bench, Wilbur continued taking notes, and Warren was standing on the bench looking out the window when the door to the garderobe opened and Augustus walked in.
"What have we discovered today?" he asked, smiling.
"Augustus, were you following us?" Warren asked.
"Absolutely," Augustus said. "Since I now know what you guys were up to, I didn't want you to discover something without me."
"Well congratulations, Augustus," Warren said. "You can now have the honor of telling people you helped discover an extremely old toilet."
"Is that what this is?" he said, looking around the room. "It's a little less exciting than your last discovery."
"Can we help you with something, Augustus?" Kendra asked.
"Besides wanting to see what you had discovered today, I did want to tell you I spoke to Professor Sprout. She thought it was a marvelous idea, and gave us permission to continue with our plain," Augustus reported.
"That's good, then," Kendra said. "We need all the time we can get before the first Quidditch game to prepare, and to sell as many raffle tickets as we can."
"Well, then, I'll leave you all to your toilet," Augustus said. "I'll see you at the next meeting." After Augustus had left the room and they heard him go through the second doorway, Kendra turned to look over at Warren.
"I'm sure he told Professor Sprout it was all his idea, as well," Kendra said.
"I doubt that," Warren said. "Augustus is a solid guy. I'm sure he simply told her the plan, and allowed her to believe it was his idea. I suppose we can start getting supplies as well when we go to Hogsmeade." He looked down at Fuzz-Head, who now actually had his head in the hole. "Fuzz-Head, what are you doing?"
"There's something down there," Fuzz-Head said. Wilbur dropped his quill and Kendra's eyes widened. Warren frowned.
"Can you tell what it is?" Warren asked.
"No. The hole goes straight down and then bends towards the lake, and there's something there at the bend," Fuzz-Head said, his voice echoing into the hole. He pulled out his wand and pointed it down the hole.
"Accio!" Fuzz-Head said, but he didn't expect much. Usually if you were going to use a summoning spell, it helped to know what you were summoning in the first place.
"How far down do you think it is?" Warren asked.
"I can't really tell," Fuzz-Head said.
"Do you think you could reach it if I lowered you down and held onto your feet?"
"I don't know," Fuzz-Head said, looking terrified at the idea.
"Would you be willing to try it?"
"I suppose." Fuzz-Head looked anything but thrilled at the idea, but he was always willing to help. Fuzz-Head laid down on his stomach with his head by the hole, and Warren held onto his feet. He pulled himself into the hole with some help from Warren, who held tight to his feet as he lowered him down.
"Think you can reach it?" Warren called down to him.
"I'm too far away, still," Fuzz-Head said. Warren looked over to Wilbur. Wilbur came over and grabbed onto Warren's feet.
"I don't think this is very safe," Kendra said. "Maybe we should think of something else."
"I'm almost there!" Fuzz-Head called. Wilbur lowered Warren down the hole, his arms wrapped around his legs. "Just a little bit further!"
Sighing with effort, Wilbur moved closer to the hole, lowering Warren further. Kendra could tell that the strain of holding two people upside down in a hole was starting to be too much for Wilbur. Fuzz-Head must have lurched in an attempt to reach whatever was done there, because Warren's whole body shifted, pulling Wilbur off balance, and all three fell down the hole.
"Oh! Oh no! Wilbur! Warren! Fuzzy!" Kendra cried, running to the edge of the hole. "Are you alright?" Her voice echoed down into the hole, and she heard nothing back. Of course, who knew how far the hole had to travel to get to the lake, and she hoped that it emptied over the lake and didn't go below water level. If it did, her three friends were trapped up against a metal grate under water and unless they could climb back out of the water they would drown. On the other hand, the metal grate was there to prevent enemies from climbing up the garderobe hole into the castle, so it must have been a possibility that someone could climb up the hole. Kendra decided she wasn't taking any chances. She ran out of the room.
Fuzz-Head, Warren, and Wilbur slid down the length of the hole, crashing into the bars at the end. The hole ended just over the lake, much to Warren's relief, and he was hoping they'd be able to climb back up.
"Are either of you hurt?" Warren asked, looking around in the dim light.
"I'm fine," Wilbur said, pulling himself upright.
"Me too, but this guy isn't," Fuzz-Head said, rolling to his side to reveal the skeleton he had dislodged from the bend in the tunnel.
"Oh dear, another corpse," Warren said. "We're going to get a reputation."
The skeleton was black with age and who knows what else. Like the goblin, this corpse was also in armor, which must have been how he had gotten stuck in the first place. He also had a shield, a sword, and a number of pouches on his belt. The armor was tarnished as black as the skeleton inside.
"Who do you suppose he was?" Wilbur asked.
"That's a good question," Warren said. "He must have been from medieval times, and someone pushed him into the garderobe hole. These bars may be old, but they're solid."
"Who would have pushed him?"
"There's no way to know until we know who he is," Warren said. He stepped over Wilbur and tried to crawl up the hole. The angle was steep, and there was really nothing to grab onto. Warren didn't know why they felt the bars were necessary, it would take an acrobat to get up this tunnel.
"What will we do?" Wilbur asked.
"We'll have to wait until Kendra returns with help," Warren said. They didn't have to wait long, but while they did they inspected their new find. The pouches on the the skeletons belt turned out to have herbs in them. Perhaps potion ingredients. One of the pouches had some old coins that were so worn it was impossible to make out what may have been on them.
They were too far down to hear Kendra calling down to them, but after about an hour they saw an iron bar tied to a rope slide down the hole and clank against the corpse's shield. There was a note wrapped around the bar which read, "One at a time, please." Wilbur was pulled up first, and Warren was surprised by how fast the iron bar was slid back down. Whoever was up there must be very strong and wasn't Kendra. He hoped it wasn't Augustus. He sent Fuzz-Head up next. When the iron bar finally slid back down the hole the last time, Warren grabbed onto the skeleton by his breast plate. Whoever was pulling the rope behind to haul Warren up, and it took longer this time with the added weight.
At last Warren could see top of the hole, and was pulled up over the edge. Strong arms grabbed him around the middle and pulled him the rest of the way out, bringing the armored skeleton with him.
"What is that?" Warren heard a man cry, and he looked over to see Mr. Yuan had been their rescuer, and he was pointing at the skeleton.
"That's what we were trying to get to when we all fell in," Warren said, relieved he had not been rescued by Augustus.
"You should be more careful," Mr. Yuan said. He was a short, wiry man, but he had a kind smile. Madam Yuan had chosen better this time.
"Believe me, that's my last voyage down a garderobe," Warren assured him.
"What strange luck you have, Mr. Bones. Maybe that's why you're last name is Bones, because you find so many."
The Astronomy Tower by Moon110581
Chapter Notes: The group has their first GSA meeting, and make an unscheduled discovery.