Their bright faces are filled with innocence. These new students enter Hogwarts with creativity in their palms. If you look long enough at a face or two, you’ll see their eyes widen as each step brings them closer to the rest of their lives. After all, Hogwarts is a beautiful place to grow. Though I’d seldom, if ever, mention these words to anyone, but myself.
Floating through each wall and each staircase, I make my way to the Great Hall. Gasps and shrieks of surprise fill the air amidst the students. You see the familiar faces of returning scholars meeting their friends and their teachers once more. Outbursts of noise come from the mouths of those new kin; the Muggle-born witches and wizards are astonished to see so much magic surrounding them. I catch a few stares. In fact, I believe I heard a hint of admiration in one’s voice. There is no pride in being a ghost. People are naïve and stupid to believe that ghosts are a sign of victory. They think of how we have died and not conquered death. They do not know the price of becoming a ghost; though we no longer battle disease, we have misfortune laid upon us for eternity. My memories still haunt me to this very day, though they may be millennia old. My chains remain a sign of the weight upon me.
Entering the Great Hall, I see the new students waiting for their turn, eager to try on the Sorting Hat and find out their fate. The hat directs them into their houses. “Am I valiant like Godric, or sharp like Salazar? Have I the conscience to be loyal like Helga or do I emit radiance like Rowena?” The song begins, and we know we have ourselves in for a hell of a night.
Midway through the Sorting Ceremony, my eyes lock on to the one being I have known for too long. This may be the day I talk to her and explain myself. But as certain images flood my thoughts, I postponed my brave attempt at conversation.
-x-x-x-x-x-
After the ceremony had concluded, I was on my way back to the Slytherin dorm room. That was when I saw her again. I rushed over but only to stop right behind her, scared to face the truth.
I was the one who killed her.
I saw her stop in front of me, and turn around to face me. I whispered hello and attempted a smile. She smiled back, as if she did not know what to say to me. Her curls gently bounced across her neck and she looked as pretty as she had the first day we met. I will never forget that first conversation I had with her; it was magical.
I have loved her since my very first day at Hogwarts. We had instantly clicked but, due to our opposing domain leaders, we couldn’t see each other. Our feelings for one another were kept a secret from the world for many years. Then one day, during our seventh year, she left. Her whereabouts were unknown. A few days after her departure, her mother Rowena approached me and requested me to find her daughter. Rowena promised me that if I found Helena and brought her home, she would support our relationship. I had dreams; my dreams were of a marriage and life with my Helena. I swore that I wouldn’t fail, and set off at once.
A few months into my tiring and desperate search, I found her hiding in a forest in Albania. I told her she had to come home and that if she did, we would be able to wed. I held her hand and knelt down, staring into those kaleidoscope eyes. But she said no. I asked her why, as she sat still and expressionless. Losing my temper, I began to yell. The names I called her, the vows I broke; it was as though a part of my heart broke off, leaving the rest of it to die in pain. I don’t remember quite when I stabbed her, but a large pool of blood gathered around her soul-less corpse. The bloody knife was tightly held in my grip and I stared down, not knowing why I had killed her. Deranged, I felt blood squirting from my chest. It trickled onto my feet and the ground around us, marking the location. My reflexes had died and there was a knife in my heart. In the next moment, blackness took over.
It had been centuries since we’d shared more than awkward greetings or solemn acknowledgements, but today I would break our silence. I glanced upon her innocent face. Yes, it still had innocence in it. Our uninterrupted moments of eye contact seemed so intense. So alive. It was alive amidst the two of us who physically are not but, emotionally are. Breaking a trance, I asked her if she wanted to come to the forest so we could talk.
“I just want to clear up some thoughts that we might have about one another.”
I asked her with a blanket of silence over my throbbing heart. She told me she would be there in ten minutes. I then went to gather myself before proceeding to the forest, unnaturally unaware if she intended to follow.
Forests of Connection by Albus Bumblebee
Story Notes:
Set in September 2010 as a new batch of students and a new year brings new found courage to both.
It is a romance, as well as a mystery
Chapter Endnotes: Thank You Luinrina for all of your help, before AND after some of the chaos with this submission :)