School began again and Peter found himself once again struggling in each of his classes. It hadn't gotten any easier for him; if anything, he had more trouble now than ever before. Luckily, Remus had offered to help him. This gave Peter the perfect chance to observe Remus's behavior. That was what James and Sirius wanted him to do.
"Try and see if you can get anything out of him," James had said. "He's bound to let something slip. You're good at that sort of thing, Peter."
So Peter had agreed, and while he sat in the library with Remus, he looked for an opportunity to get some clue out of him.
"So, when Muggles first came to America, they found Natives, who were actually witches and wizards, but they didn't know that. In fact, the Americas were entirely populated with magical people until the European Muggles settled in … did you get that?"
"I- yeah, sure. Remus?"
"Mhm…?" Remus had already turned to the next question, poring over the pages of his history book.
"Do you…you know…love your dad?"
"Why?" Remus looked up, frowning.
"I don't know," Peter shrugged. "It's just; I don't really remember mine…are they worth having?"
"I guess it depends." Remus turned back to his book. Peter knew he had found something. He pressed on.
"But what about your dad? How's he?"
"Why do you need to know about my dad?"
"I just wondered." Peter tried his best to look as though he had no other intention than learning more about fathers in general, hoping his gestures and voice would cause Remus to open up out of sympathy.
"Well, he's nice. And smart. And, yes, I do love him." Remus looked back at book, avoiding Peter's gaze. "Can we get on with our work, please?"
"Does he ever get mad?"
Remus sighed. "Not really…just sad."
"Oh…so, he doesn't hit you?"
He bit his lip. He had said too much. Remus glared at Peter.
"No, he doesn't. Why would you think that?"
"No reason…I just wondered, because Sirius said his dad hits him with a belt sometimes…I didn't know if that was normal."
Remus's features relaxed somewhat.
"Let's just get back to the lesson, all right?"
….....................................................................................................
"So, he's not abusing Remus. Or at least, Remus won't admit to it."
"I think he told the truth," Peter sat on his bed next to James and Sirius. They had taken advantage of Remus's absence to discuss him.
"Well, that tells us what it can't be. Then where does he go?" James looked at Sirius, who shrugged.
"I checked the library, and nothing happens on those dates. No historical significance, no holidays…he always gets back on the second day of the moon waning, but that's it."
"Anything happen on that day?"
"Nope," Sirius sighed. "It can't have anything to do with the dates, then. At least, not something you can just look up. It has to be personal."
James nodded. "Well, we'll figure it out. It's the three of us against him, and he's not that good of a liar."
"Where did he say he was going this time?"
"To his cousin's house. Apparently she's having her first baby."
Sirius snorted. "Is that the best he can come up with?"
James stood up. "Let me talk to him when he gets back. I'll see if I can get anything out of him."
…..................................................................................................
Remus returned to school, looking as pale and sickly as he usually did. James sat next to him at breakfast, motioning the others to sit elsewhere. They did, and James proceeded with his investigation.
"So, how did your aunt's birth go?"
Remus looked up. "My cousin's."
"Oh, right," Frustrated that Remus hadn't fallen for his trick, he pressed onward. "So, how did it go?"
"Well. I wasn't actually in the room, but I saw the baby afterwards."
"Boy or girl?"
"A girl."
"What's her name?" James leaned forward.
"Her name? Uh…Rose."
James nodded. "Took you long enough to remember that."
Remus looked down at his lap, not saying anything.
"Hey, you okay?"
"I have to go," Remus stood up, practically running out of the Great Hall.
Sirius looked across the table at James, who shook his head. They discussed it later as they went to Charms.
"He knows that we know he's hiding something, but he won't give us a clue to what it is."
"Then I guess questioning him is out?"
"Yeah, we'll have to look for things on our own from now on."
Sirius sighed, opening the Charms door. He saw Remus already sitting at a table, the other seat occupied by Lily. James shrugged.
"Guess he's avoiding us now, then. Ah, well, once we find out what's up, he'll have to talk to us."
Sirius frowned. "Will we find out, do you think?"
"Of course," James pulled out his book, looking completely unconcerned. "Because I'm not giving up until I do."
…........................................................................................................
Months passed, and as the three other boys became increasingly obsessed with finding out what was wrong with Remus, he in turn drifted apart from them. He wasn't angry with them for wondering what happened to him; he understood completely. He just didn't want to get too close, in case they did find out. It was easier to sever ties slowly, before they found out he was a monster. It would save him a lot of pain and trouble. What would have saved him even more trouble was not befriending them in the first place. He should have never trusted them; he should never have trusted himself. But it was unavoidable now, and his only option was to face it as best as he could. At least he had Lily. She had been his main companion over the last few months. She often would seek him out, whether he was sitting alone in the common room or studying in the library. Though she was occasionally accompanied by Severus Snape, she often came alone. She brought comfort to Remus, and he knew that she wouldn't care what he was. He found himself confiding in her, not deep secrets, such as his condition or his father's alcoholism, but smaller things that he often found just as hard to express, such as his anxieties about Professor Calhan, and his worries about not being able to pass Potions.
"You'll be fine," Lily promised. "I'll tutor you if you want. Besides, Slughorn won't fail you. He knows you understand the concepts; you just don't always get the timing right. He's a good teacher, I think."
Remus shrugged. "I guess he is. I don't think he likes me much, though."
"I never noticed that," Lily said. "But Calhan is absolutely awful to you. You should really do something about it."
"What can I do? He's a teacher."
"He's not the only teacher at the school, Remus. Tell McGonagall or something. She'll make him stop."
"I'd rather not."
Lily sighed. "Remus, you have to do something. He is tormenting you, and he shouldn't be allowed to get away with it. Tell him to stop yourself."
Remus looked horrified at the very idea. "Me? I can't tell him to stop…I'd get into trouble."
"Dumbledore would understand. Teachers can't go around being mean to students like that. Just fight back."
Remus looked at Lily for a moment, not saying anything. He wondered if it would work. Of course, the bigger question was if he could stand up to Calhan in the first place. But with Lily behind him, he felt that perhaps he could. After all, what could Calhan possibly do that was worse than what he already did?
….....................................................................................................
Sirius had gone back to researching the dates of Remus's disappearances, eager to find something out, if only because he wanted James to finally calm down. For the past few months, he had had little interest in anything but finding out what Remus was up to. Up until the day before little progress had been made, but Sirius had finally found something.
"Hey," he said to James as they hurried to Defense Against the Dark Arts. "I think I know what's up with Remus."
"You what?" James stopped in his tracks, staring at Sirius, his mouth wide open. "You found out? But…what is it? Where is he-"
"I'll tell you after class," Sirius motioned for James to keep walking. "It's not something we need to blurt out all through the halls."
James entered the classroom practically skipping with excitement. Professor Calhan watched them, frowning slightly. When class began, he stood up from his desk and began to speak.
"Today we will be reviewing for your final exam, which is next Wednesday. I trust that you all did your essays on common hexes?"
There was a shuffling of papers and unzipping of bags as students pulled out their essays. Professor Calhan walked down each row of desks, picking up each essay and examining it for a moment before putting it in his other hand. When he reached Remus, he wrinkled his nose and snatched up the paper, hardly looking at it before handing it back to Remus.
"I can't grade that," he said. "It doesn't have the right margins."
Sirius looked at James, whose eyes were glowing furiously. This was a common occurrence, and usually Remus did nothing about it, resigning himself to a failing grade. This time though, Sirius was surprised to hear Remus's voice, quiet but firm.
"You never said anything about the margins, Professor."
Professor Calhan glared at Remus. "What are you saying? Are you suggesting that I am wrong, and you're right?"
"No, sir, I'm just saying that I wrote a paper the same as everyone else, and it deserves to get graded like everyone else's."
"Fine then," Professor Calhan picked Remus's paper back up, and, putting it in the large pile of papers, ripped the entire stack in half. "Now nobody gets a grade. Maybe next time you'll learn to keep your mouth shut, Lupin. It isn't fair to the other students that you hold them back with your stupid comments."
"I'm not stupid," Remus's voice shook, but whether it was with fear or anger Sirius couldn't tell. "And you aren't allowed to say so."
The classroom had gone completely silent in anticipation. Even James resisted making a comment. Everyone wanted to know who would end up having the last word.
"Children like you shouldn't be at this school. You're stupid and incapable of learning, and it wouldn't matter if I graded your paper or not, because you'd fail it anyways."
"If I fail, it's only because you're a rubbish teacher."
The class didn't dare laugh, and, indeed, there was little humor in the comment. Remus looked furious now, and though his voice had not risen, everyone could tell he was on the verge of breaking down.
"You insolent, filthy little-" Professor Calhan picked up Remus's book and slammed it forcefully on his head. Half of the students cried out as Remus collapsed onto the floor, knocked out cold. James had stood up from his seat, and was running to the front of the classroom where Professor Calhan was still hitting Remus brutally.
"Someone stop-" James grabbed Calhan's arm. "Sirius, get McGonagall!"
Sirius stood at his seat, looking at the bleeding Remus on the ground, unable to move.
"Go!" James shouted, still struggling with Professor Calhan.
Sirius raced out of the room, running to McGonagall as fast as he possibly could. Breathlessly, he entered her classroom, alarming both her and her students.
"Mr. Black, what is going on?"
"Calhan…he's…he's killing Remus…"
"Killing…?" McGonagall hurried back with Sirius, telling her class sternly to behave in her absence.
Upon entering the classroom, she saw Professor Calhan knocked out on the floor, James and Lily standing over him. Lily was crying. Remus also lay on the floor, his head and nose bleeding.
"My God," McGonagall knelt beside the unconscious Remus, inspecting his head. She looked at James.
"Get Madam Pomfrey. The rest of you are to go back to your common rooms. Now!"
The class scrambled out of the doorway. Some were talking amongst themselves about the strange and terrible incident that had just occurred, and others walked back alone, wishing to contemplate the horror of the scene by themselves. Sirius went back calmly, not speaking to anyone. It was only when he reached the solitary of the boy's dormitory and his own four poster bed that he began to cry.
…...........................................................................................................
James and Peter found Sirius alone in the bedroom, sitting on his bed. His eyes were red, but James didn't dare mention it. He knew Sirius would violently deny it, and they didn't need an argument now. James sat down next to him, causing Sirius to look up.
"Will he be okay?"
James shrugged. "I don't know…Madam Pomfrey can stop the bleeding well enough, but she said she doesn't know about how his head will be on the inside. He got hit pretty hard."
"But can't she fix that?"
"Brains are tricky when it comes to healing. Nobody's brain is exactly the same. I heard one time that there's a whole secret room in the Ministry where they study real brains. Only I don't if that's actually true. But anyways, she said she won't know until tomorrow at least."
Sirius looked down again. "He's a werewolf."
James blinked. "What?"
"Remus is a werewolf. I found out that no matter what, he is always gone on the full moon. And he comes back sick and tired, which are symptoms of lycanthropy. That would also explain why some of the teachers don't like him; they're prejudiced."
"A werewolf!" James shot up. "Oh my God, he can't be a werewolf! Werewolves are… not like Remus."
"That's why Calhan hurt him with a book instead of using his wand," Sirius's voice shook. "He thought he wasn't worth any more than some animal."
James didn't know what to think. He had never thought he could ever befriend a werewolf. Werewolves were nasty, evil monsters that stole you out of your bed if you weren't good. At least, that's what his mother had told him. His father called them the lice of society, a breed that should be eradicated at all costs. And Remus, one of his best friends, was a werewolf. But now that he knew, he found that it wasn't difficult to dismiss that fact. After all, it was still Remus. Shy, intelligent, kind, funny, Remus. His friend, who at that moment lay in the Hospital Wing, a victim of a crime fueled by hatred. How could he abandon him now? He looked at Sirius and Peter, and they both expressed the same sentiment in their own eyes.
"Well, I guess we'll tell him when he wakes up then." James said softly. "Hopefully he'll start hanging around us again."
"You think he'll be okay then?" Peter's worried voice was hardly audible.
"Of course he will. After all, he's a werewolf; he's gone through a lot worse than a couple of hits to the head."
James smiled after saying it. He truly did believe everything would be all right.
Hearts of Red and Gold by moonyschick
Chapter Endnotes: Hope you liked it! If you could leave a review with your thoughts, I would really appreciate it.