”Shit.”
She almost found herself shocked by her own reaction. This wasn’t how it was meant to feel. However, peering down at the oblong, white piece of plastic she was holding filled her with nothing else but dread.
This changed everything. What was she supposed to do now? She could not continue with the life she had built up for herself, could not keep pretending that the past, although etched in her memories, was not hers. Her lie was about to be uncovered. And all because of a small, blue plus sign that had revealed itself on the device in her hand.
Cho was shivering; her right leg jumping nervously as she sat precariously on the edge of the bathtub. Her dark hair hung limply around her face, but she didn’t bother to tuck it behind her ears.
Instead she stood in a haste, making her vision blur from the rush of blood. She gripped the side of the sink, clenching tightly with hands the palest of white. Slowly, she steadied herself. She opened the bathroom cabinet, placed the birth control in the far back behind an old container of bubble bath that neither of them would ever use. She closed the cabinet and caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror. Her Asian skin was uncharacteristically bleak and she looked worn out, even though she had chosen to take the day off from work that day, something she hadn’t told him when he left for work in the morning. She rubbed her face in an earnest attempt to give it some colour, and then stepped out of the bathroom.
She took only three long strides and sat down again on the side of her bed… their bed. She looked over her shoulder, at the pillow where his head had rested not many hours ago. How was she ever going to tell him?
William had really been the best thing to ever happen to Cho. Ever since her first real boyfriend had been murdered, her disastrous fling with Harry Potter and her attempted relationship with Michael Corner, she had almost given up on love. Then came William, and a whole new world opened up to Cho. He had made her realise that she deserved to love and be loved and he fulfilled her every need.
There had been a price, of course. But she had chosen to make that sacrifice in order to be happy, to be able to live again. She had abandoned the friends she had from Hogwarts, and practically renounced her own parents. There had been other things to give up as well. Still, all of it had been worth it. She had lived happily with William for five long years. However, with the new-found knowledge of today, all was about to change.
Cho had talked a bit about children with Cedric. They had been young, obviously, but both had been mature for their age and they had liked fantasising about the future. They would wonder if all their children would have Asian features, or if at least one of them would have the good fortune to inherit Cedric’s shiny, brown locks. They would debate whether they would let them play Quidditch at a young age or not. Cho had been only fifteen, but she had been certain that Cedric was the one she wanted to spend the rest of her life with.
She had not had the same connection at all with Harry Potter. It was his fame that had intrigued Cho, and she had felt his gaze on herself for quite some time. When Marietta became upset and didn’t want to listen whenever Cho brought up Cedric, she had turned to Harry in hope of consolation.
When Harry’s interest for her cooled, her short period of dating Michael Corner she mostly considered as an act of showing to herself and everyone else that she was over it. In hindsight she was almost amused by the fact that she had dated two younger boys successively.
When Cho graduated from Hogwarts she had no idea what she wanted to do. She had taken most NEWT-level classes needed for the more popular careers, but this was mostly because she was an ambitious and talented student. More to have something to fill her days with than anything else, she had agreed to start working at a friend of her father’s after graduation. It was meant to be temporary, while she figured out what she really wanted to do.
But it was there she met William.
He was only a few years older than her, but so full of life that she was swept off her feet. At first she had had trouble letting anyone in, afraid to let someone come close. He had been patient though, slowly managing to wriggle out the happiness and liveliness in Cho that she had suppressed for so long.
He had never pestered her with questions of her past. She supposed he somehow sensed that something had happened to her, to make her this protective of herself and her feelings. Nevertheless, he claimed that he loved her all the same.
They had never talked about having children yet, but Cho could now see that there had been signs that William was ready to settle down and start a family. She loved seeing him with his older brother’s children, subconsciously thinking that he would make a great father himself some day. She had never really begun to think about what would happen if she actually did get pregnant.
Sitting on the edge of their unmade bed, it dawned on her that this was the absolute worst thing that could ever happen.
Could she tell him? How would she even start? There hadn’t been a course about this at school, at Hogwarts. Where did people learn how to tell things like this, she wondered.
Cho glanced at the clock on their bedside table. She had exactly two hours before he came home from work, two hours to decide how she was going to explain this to William - or pack everything she could carry and leave without looking back.
She thought about asking her mother for advice. But it was now five years since she had left the summer job arranged by her father and told her parents that she was going to move upcountry with William. To a new town, to a new life, where she could start over. And for this to work she needed to leave her old life, including them, behind.
For five years she had pretended that her turbulent past did not exist, and for five years she had succeeded. William knew nothing other than that she was a normal girl who had had some trouble with boys in her life. Nothing out of the ordinary.
Chances were that their life no longer would be ordinary.
Cho did not even know where she would start to tell him. She tried picturing all kinds of different scenarios in her head, all ending just as badly. Them sitting at the dinner table, and William dropping his glass of red wine to the floor with a splattering crash. Them relaxing after the meal, snuggled up with each other, and William hurtling himself away from her and pressing himself towards the other end of the sofa. Them lying in bed later at night talking in soft tones, and… she knew she could not possibly wait that long. She would have to tell him now, or leave and never let him know at all.
Again, she thought of contacting someone for advice. Someone who had first hand experience from an encounter like this. But she could think of none from her past life that could help her.
Leaving would be the easiest way out.
Save for the fact she never could do that to William; he would be devastated. After everything he had done for her, everything he had given, he deserved more than that. And she liked her life with William. Where would she go, alone? Could she even raise a child on her own, with no one to support her, no one to love or be loved by?
The alternative was just as unthinkable. There was a strong possibility that he would be the one to leave her, should she tell him. He could back away out of fear before even hearing the whole story. Cho didn’t know if she even could survive if her heart were to break in such a way.
What the hell was she supposed to do?
Suddenly Cho heard something from the other room, making her whole body turn rigid. She listened intently, and yes, the lock was turning in the door. He was home early.
She dashed out in the hallway, stopping only a few feet from the door, her posture stiff and her lips tightly pressed together. She felt herself shivering and losing all colour in her face. Impossible as she saw it, she had no choice but to tell him now.
The door opened and William entered, looking down, not noticing Cho at first. He was holding a brown paper bag of groceries from which a bouquet of tulips protruded.
Finally he lifted his chin and his gaze found Cho, standing in the middle of the hallway with her feet placed tightly together. “Hey you,” he said, laughing nervously. “Why are you home? You weren’t supposed to…” His face fell when he noticed Cho’s nervous features. “What’s wrong?”
Cho’s knees nearly buckled as William set down the bag and hurried towards her. He took her under the elbows and held her gaze with a concerned crease between his eyebrows. “What’s happened?”
“I-I need to tell you something.” Cho’s voice was barely audible. “But before I tell you that, I have to tell you something else.”
William tilted his head slightly, the concern in his eyes blending with confusion, but keeping his grip round her tight nonetheless.
“I’m a witch, Will.”
***
They had moved to the sofa now, both finally calmed down. The setting sun was glowing dimly through the window and casting long shadows across the room. William’s look of confusion had been replaced by one of exhaustion, if anything. Even so, they were now sitting close beside each other, both holding the other’s hands, and Cho was speaking quietly.
“…and the reason I have to tell you this, is that since I have magic in my blood, chances are that this baby will be a little witch or wizard. I am perfectly happy with living a Muggle life-“ William opened his mouth in question, but Cho just continued, “-a life with you, instead of magic, but if we have a child things around here may change quite a lot.”
William sat silent for a long time. He then spoke, pronouncing each word slowly as if he was concentrating very hard. “The thing is, I had something to tell you today, as well.” He nodded towards the paper bag, abandoned in the hall. “I left work early so that I would be home before you. I was thinking of making something special for dinner, just for tonight. I’m afraid those lobsters won’t be as fresh by now, though.”
Cho hastily turned her head towards the hallway, and then back again, with a somewhat pained look in her eyes.
“I did this because… tonight I was going to tell you that I would love you unconditionally, no matter what. I was going to tell you that I wanted to take care of you and raise a family with you and spend the rest of my life with you by my side.” He hesitated. “I’m glad that you told me this now.
“For now I can say it knowing the whole truth, the whole you, and know that I still feel the same. It may not be easy for me, and a part of me probably thinks you’re just a bit mental and nothing else.” He gave a shrewd smile, then slowly slid down from the sofa, placing himself on the white, furry rug on one bent knee. “But I love you, Cho, regardless. What you have told me today in fact gives me many more reasons to love you. Marry me, Cho.”
Let me whisper in your ear by Hokey
Story Notes:
Title from "Do you wanna know a secret" by the fabulous Beatles.
Rated for some very mild language.
Chapter Notes: Thank you goes to my wonderful beta, Natalie/hestiajones.