"Your sweet moonbeam,
The smell of you in every,
Single dream I dream."
i.
She smelt like peppermint.
It was the first day of Potions class in fourth year that James first noticed her. Really noticed her, so to speak. She was talking animately with Snape, and the two were laughing, and James was trying to make sense of the situation. "Why's Evans buddying up to Snape?" James asked Remus.
Remus frowned. "They're friends," he said.
"Since when?"
"They have been since before first year," Remus replied. "How have you never noticed that?"
James shrugged. He turned his attention back to the two of them. She was eating some sort of sweet, and every now and then she would pull another one out of her pocket and pop it into her mouth. Evans had never been all that important of a person to James. She was something of a goody-two shoes, and she never did anything fun or exciting. She never had anything particularly interesting to say, and she kept mostly to her own small circle of friends, as far as he knew. He hadn't realised that circle of friends included Snape.
But upon returning for their fourth year, Lily was much more, er, noticeable. She still had those crazy red curls that she barely kept back with various brightly coloured bandanas, and she was still small and slim and liked to wave her hands about a lot when she talked. But she also had legs. Well, she had legs before, but now she had legs.
And James was very sure that she did not fill out a blouse nearly so well before this year.
James had only dated a handful of girls last year. He had received his first snog only six or so months ago. He decided during that Potions class that perhaps he would get his first . . . a little more . . . from Lily Evans. She was sweet enough, right?
Besides, it wasn't as if she liked Snape. They just had history, was all.
As they were packing up their ingredients, James called out to her. "Oi! Evans!" She turned to him in surprise. Snape had a ridiculously unpleasant look on his face, and James kind of wanted to make a crack at him. Snape probably liked Evans, and puh-lease — he so did not have a chance with her. "Can I talk to you for a second?"
Lily frowned. "Um, sure."
Snape didn't move. "I meant privately, Snivellus," James said Snape stiffened. Lily rolled her eyes.
"It's okay, Sev. Go on ahead. I'll catch up."
Snape left. James grinned. Lily crossed her arms over her chest. James couldn't stop his eyes from drifting down — but he pulled them up quickly, really! "Don't call him that," she said. "It kind of makes you a huge jerk. You know that, right?"
James shrugged. "It's not as if he doesn't have a jolly good time calling me a git to his mates."
Lily sighed. "What do you want, Potter? Do you want me to tutor you? Because I think Remus would be better at that. I'm a dreadful teacher. And I don't really like you, so there's that. . . ." She stared at him expectantly. Her eyes were bright green, and he was kind of startled by that. Since when did people have green eyes? Who knew?
"Nah, I don't need a tutor," he assured her.
She pulled a red sweet from her an open bag in her pocket and slipped into her mouth. "Then what do you want?"
"I wanted to ask you out."
She snorted. "Seriously?"
He nodded, smiling. "We can go to Hogsmeade. We don't even have to wait for the first trip." He leaned closer to her. "I know all sorts of secret passages from the castle to Hogsmeade." She stared at him. He realised her eyelashes were ginger, too. She slowly moved the sweet from one side of her mouth to the other. He could just imagine it held between her teeth. His face was close enough to hers that he could smell her breath, could smell the light, heady scent of peppermint. That's what the sweet was — a peppermint drop.
"Potter," she said, "go bother someone else." And she turned away from him.
A little taken aback, he reached forward and grabbed her arm, stopping her from leaving. They were the only ones left in the classroom now; even Slughorn was gone. "Wait," he said, "I'm not joking. I want to go out with you."
"Why?"
"What?"
"Why do you want to go out with me?"
"Um . . ." Wasn't that fairly obvious? "To have fun?"
She snorted. "Yeah. Whatever. I'm not in the right mood to deal with this." She tried to leave again.
"But why not?" he asked. He still hadn't let go of her, and he could still smell the peppermint, and the heat in the room was making him feel funny things. Why was she saying no? It was just a date. It'd be fun. Didn't she like to have fun?
"Because you're a jerk, Potter, and I don't like you." She tore her arm from his and left.
She just didn't know him. It made sense, really. There were a good nine hundred people in the school. It made sense that he and Evans weren't well acquainted. Once she got to know him, she'd definitely want to go out with him.
That night, when he had a good wank, he thought about bouncy red curls and little hands that waved about wildly and green eyes that were eerily clear and, of course, the surprisingly overwhelming smell of peppermint drops.
ii.
She smelt like the lake.
Fourth year was almost over, and although they were all being suffocated by exams, the entire school couldn't help but enjoy the impossibly hot, bright days that the week had brought. Today was no exception. The sky was cloudless, and the sun beat down in the perfect way, and half the student body seemed to be out on the grounds.
There wasn't an exam that afternoon, and James spent it playing Quidditch. He was on his way back to the castle with Sirius and Peter flanking him when he saw them: Marlene McKinnon, Lily Evans, and Jenna Whitman were lying out in front of the lake.
As James watched, the giant squid sent a squirt of water at the three girls, and they all squealed delightedly. James could see clearly the black swim suit Lily was wearing, and the way her cheeks and shoulders were already pink from sunburn. She was laughing loudly to something Marlene had said, and there was water dripping out of her hair and down her face.
"They look so nice from far away," Peter noted.
"But it's like that plant that eats people," Sirius said.
"It looks innocent enough," Peter went on.
"But get too close and snap!" Sirius literally snapped his fingers. "You've got one less leg."
"Tragic," Peter said, shaking his head.
"Very," Sirius agreed.
James ignored them both and trotted over to where the girls were sprawled out. "Potter!" Marlene exclaimed happily, and her eyes were somewhat glazed. It took him a moment to realise it, but he couldn't stop the grin that spread across his face.
"Are you drunk?" he asked.
She giggled outrageously and turned her face into her towel. Laughing, Jenna told him, "Her last exam was this morning, so she's celebrating." She shook her head at her friend, but James could see that the flush in her cheeks was not simply from the sun. It seemed innocent little blonde Jenna was having a bit of special fun, too.
"I wish my last exam was today," Lily said, exasperated, but she too looked amused at Marlene and Jenna's antics. "I'd be drunk, too."
"We all would be," James said.
Lily grinned up at him for a moment, and then she seemed to realise that she was grinning at him. "Oh, goodness, what do you want?" she asked, suspicion written all over her pink face.
"Just to say hi," he assured.
"Hi!" Marlene said, before giggling so hard she cried and then rolled into Jenna, who collapsed on top of Marlene in laughter. Lily shook her head at her two friends. "We should really get her back to the dorm. She's going to be unmanageable in another half hour. Both of them will be, at this rate."
"You want some help?" he offered, seeing his chance and leaping at it. Sirius and Peter might take the mickey out of him, but he couldn't help himself. Evans was addictive.
"We'll manage," Lily said, pushing herself to her feet. His eyes trailed up her legs, but she wrapped her towel around herself and tied it at her waist way too soon. "C'mon, ladies, let's go. We're all going to burn to a crisp."
"I don't burn," Marlene purred. "I tan."
"How nice for you," Lily said. "I burn. Get up." She reached down and managed to yank Marlene to her feet. Jenna scrambled up, too.
Marlene threw an arm over Jenna's shoulder. "Where are we going?" she asked.
"A special, secret place," Lily answered. "But we only have five minutes before it explodes if we're not there."
"What?"
"Just c'mon."
James was beyond amused.
All of a sudden Jenna let out a squeal. "Lily, look! It's Benjamin Fenwick. He's so gorgeous!"
James frowned at her. He glanced over at Fenwick. "His head is shaped like a turnip," he observed.
"I was going to say like a yam," Lily said. He nodded. He could see that, too.
"Oh, you," Jenna said, making a face at Lily, and before the redhead could stop her, Jenna chased after Fenwick, leaving Marlene to sway for an instant before latching herself onto Lily and burying her face into Lily's neck as she giggled.
Lily tried to lead Marlene towards the castle. It wasn't going very well. "Are you sure you wouldn't like some help?" James asked.
"What are you going to do, Potter?" Lily glared at him. She seemed less amused with her dopey friend now. He grinned at her and reached out, pulling Marlene to him and then lifting her up and over his shoulder. She let out a delighted exclamation and smacked James's back.
"Lily!" she cried. "I'm upside down! And James Potter is manhandling me!"
Lily snorted despite herself. "As long as you find that enjoyable," she told Marlene. "C'mon," she said to James, and they fell into step with one another. Marlene wasn't too heavy, and this was probably the longest conversation James had ever had with Lily Evans before.
Marlene was talking into his back, laughing to herself. "Somehow," James told Lily, "she didn't seem so drunk before. Is she drinking something I can't see?"
"I think it's only now getting into her blood system," Lily answered, shaking her head. She held open the castle door for him. "Thanks for this," she said. "I guess you're not all terrible."
"No, actually," he replied, smirking, "I'm not."
He had been after Evans for an entire school year, now. And he actually knew a few somethings about her now. She was always a few minutes late to the point that one could arrange for her to be on time if she were told to show up five minutes earlier than necessary. She hated all potato products and loved anything that was chocolate. She was friends with anyone who was pleasant enough, although how that included Snape he had yet to discover. She liked the Muggle sport that was named after a bug (beetle? ant? praying mantis?) because her dad did, too.
"What are you doing this summer?" he asked as they climbed the stairs.
She shrugged. "Not much, probably. I always like a low key summer. Lots of reading and all. Maybe some gardening."
"You garden? That's very . . . domestic of you."
"Maybe if you had a bit more domesticity in you, then you wouldn't be a failure at Herebology," she replied.
"I'll have you know that the plant that tried to choke me the other day was not a normal plant, okay? It was an evil plant, and it was out to get me, and it wasn't my fault, you hear?"
Lily bit her lip, amusement dancing on her face. "Mmm, sure thing." They were at the Gryffindor portrait hole, and she gave the password, allowing them to enter. "Just put her down on the couch," Lily directed, and she helped James get her down. For the briefest of moments, Lily was up close to him, so close that her wet, frizzy hair brushed his face and he could feel the warmth of her sun kissed skin on his arms and he could smell her, could smell the summer and the outdoors and the lake, something unidentifiable but pleasant.
And then she wasn't there beside him anymore. He kind of wanted to grab her and drag her back to him and kiss her all over her bright pink face.
Marlene smiled up at him a little dreamily, and he had a feeling she would be asleep soon. "I'm guessing she's a lightweight, eh?" he asked, smiling a little and wishing he didn't feel like such an idiot. Evans was the first girl that had ever made him feel like this, and it drove him crazy. She only nodded, looking down at her friend like a mother at her silly child.
"She'll be find there. I'm going to go find Jenna and make sure she isn't doing anything too mortifying with poor Fenwick. See you around, Potter." She started back out of the common room.
"Hey, Evans!" he called. She turned back to him, raising her eyebrows. He ruffled his hair. "Would you like maybe, you know, to go out with me sometime this summer or something?"
She pursued her lips. He could have sworn she was about to say yes. "I don't think so, Potter." And she left.
Nothing else that summer smelt as good as the lake water on sun burnt Lily Evans.
iii.
She smelt like Butterbeer.
"Prongs," Sirius said, nudging him. They stood at the counter of the Three Broomsticks, and James had just ordered drinks. "Look who's macking on your girl."
James could guess. He glanced across the room, and, sure enough, Lily sat at a table with Severus Snape. Her hair was neatly pinned up, and she wore some sort of t-shirt with all sorts of smeared colours. She was laughing at something Snape had said, and the tosser's dark eyes were trained on Lily like he wanted to ravish her right there.
James could have cursed him that instant. It was the last Hogsmeade visit before Winter break of fifth year, and he had to see this? But they were just there as friends. Lily would never stoop to going out with Snivellus, James was sure of that much.
"How about we say hello?" Sirius asked.
"How about we don't?" Remus asked. Sirius shoved him.
Before anyone could do anything more, however, Snape stood, took the two empty glasses of Butterbeer on the table and started towards the counter. Lily smiled after him. It was perfect, really. James and Sirius didn't even have to look at each other. "Snape!" James said.
The pale boy looked at him, his face abruptly darkening. Out of the corner of his eyes, James looked to make sure Lily was watching. She was. But she hadn't moved. Good. She would get a great view of the show from where she was. "Move, Potter," Snape said.
"Aren't you going to say please?" James asked. Snape only glared. James grinned. "You know, I've actually been meaning to talk to you. It's about your hair, see. I was wondering. When you polish all the Slytherins' broomsticks, do you use the grease that oozes out of your hair?"
Snape bristled. There was a kind of threat in his eyes, but he said nothing. He only turned on his heel to leave. He wasn't paying any attention to the foot that Sirius, leaning oh-so-causally on the counter, had oh-so-causally stuck out, and Snape went flailing, knocking down a table and three chairs and spilling Butterbeer all over Mary McDonald.
"I think he slipped in his own grease," Sirius observed. James grinned.
"What is your problem?" Lily exclaimed, storming over to them. She reached for Snape. "Are you okay?" she asked softly.
"I'm fine," he mumbled darkly, scrambling to his feet.
"Oh, yes, he's just dandy, Evans," James said. Sirius laughed.
Lily rounded on James. "Wipe that smirk off your face, Potter!" she said, her eyes blazing. "This is not remotely funny."
"Aw, now it's a bit funny, Evans," James said. "But you're right. There are better things. Go out with me and I'll show you."
Her lip curled. "I am never going out with you," she said, the words coming out as a slow hiss. She stepped towards him. "Do you know why? Because you're a bully, Potter. A bully." She stabbed his chest. She was so close he could see the dusting of freckles over the bridge of her nose and he could smell the butterbeer on her breath. "You're a jerk. You're immature. You're petty. You're a cad. You're a bully." She punctuated each accusation with a brutal stab to his chest.
He didn't get it. How could she possible react like this? It was a joke, for Christ's sake.
"Why do you care so much, Evans?" he asked. "It's just Snivellus."
"You don't have to pretend to like him," Sirius added. "It's okay, really."
Lily sent him a withering glare. "You're both despicable," she declared. She turned away from them and towards Snape, who James was pleased to see had Butterbeer all down his front. Lily noticed it, too. "Here," she said, whipping out her wand, "I can clean that up."
Sirius smirked. "It must be like a maternal thing, eh, mate?" he asked James, his eyes on Snape. "She wants to baby someone, and he needs somebody to wipe up his snot."
Snape glared, and when Lily's wand pointed at him, he swatted it away. "I don't need your help," he growled, and he spun on his heel and left. About time, as far as James was concerned.
"Sev," Lily murmured, a kind of distress in her voice as he disappeared out of the pub.
"Don't worry about it, Evans," James said. "You can do better."
She looked back at him. She took a step towards him. "Someday, Potter, people are going to realise what a bully you are, and you won't be so pleased with yourself then. None of you will be." Her eyes alighted on Sirius and Remus was a kind of disdain. "And I am never going out with you."
She left. "Well," Sirius said, picking up his own Butterbeer, "I feel that went fairly well."
"I don't get why she even likes him," James muttered. Was it really some sort of pity case? It had to be. Snape was a complete toss pot. What reason could Lily possibly have to like him? It was impossible. She was too nice for her own good.
Remus shook his head at him sympathetically. James picked up his own Butterbeer. He thought of Lily, of the smell of Butterbeer on her lips. There was a kind of bitterness welling up in him. She would probably taste like Butterbeer, too, if he kissed her.
Someday, he would. And that would have to be enough for now.
iv.
She smelt like cigarette smoke.
It was the last day of fifth year, and James, unable to sleep, had casually looked over the map. He still couldn't believe they had managed to create it so perfectly. The moment his eyes caught on her small dot, they stayed there, and confusion began to dawn in him when he realised she sat alone in the Astronomy Tower. It was past two in the morning.
Curiosity and concern clawing for dominance inside him, he shoved the map in his pocket, grabbed his wand and his cloak, and left to investigate. The castle was quiet, and it seemed calmer than when he was passing through it after hours with his mates. He kept an eye on the map, and Lily never moved.
When he made it to the top of the tower, he found her sitting on the ground in her pyjamas, her knees drawn to her chest, and a cigarette between her fingers. Her face was pale and her eyes bloodshot. "Evans?" he asked, slightly wary.
She glanced over at him. She took a drag of her cigarette. "Potter," she greeted.
Feeling unsure, James approached slowly and sat down beside her. She didn't try and stop him. She didn't say a word. "What're you doing up here?" he asked.
She shrugged. "Don't you ever feel like you're suffocating in there?"
"In where? My dorm?"
She nodded. He didn't really know what to say. "I like having people around," he finally replied. "But I guess sometimes I like . . . flying has its advantages, yeah?" It was quiet.
"How did you know I was up here?" Lily asked after a beat.
"I didn't," he replied. "I just . . . guessed?" He hoped she didn't question that. Clearing his throat, he nodded at her cigarette. "Got any more of those?"
She shook her head. And then, to his utter surprise, she offered what was left of it to him. Her small fingers with their bright blue nail polish held the half a cigarette out to him. He took it quietly, took a drag, and handed it back to her. The smell and taste overwhelmed him for a moment.
He looked at her, wishing he could think of the right thing to say. He knew what he wanted to say, because it was becoming obvious what this must be about, but he couldn't make himself say the words. He was kind of enjoying the silent camaraderie, if that was what this was, and he didn't want her to start screaming at him.
It seemed screaming was all she ever did when he was involved. They hadn't always been like this. Maybe they were never the best of friends, but it was only in this past year that she had seemed to come to despise him. He supposed maybe he had something to do with that. But how could she hate him when he so clearly would do anything for her?
"Black is your best friend, isn't he?" she asked.
"Yes," he answered, a little confused.
"And he has been for years, hasn't he?" she went on.
He didn't answer right away. "Was he really your best friend?" he finally asked. He had realised they were talking about Snape. The whole school was discussing how unsocial Severus Snape and pretty Lily Evans, the oddest pair, were finally on the permanent outs.
She turned to look at him, something wrong in her gaze. "Why is that so hard to believe?" she snarled. "I know you think no one could possibly be as bloody brilliant as you, but he's not —" She stopped, and he could see the strain in her face.
"He just never seemed very nice to you, is all," James answered softly. Couldn't she see that? Couldn't she see what a downright priss Snape was?
"Well, he was," she spat. She took a deep drag of her cigarette and then stubbed it out in the ground with a kind of viciousness in the flick of her wrist. It was silent for so long a part of James wanted to speak just to cut through the quiet air.
"What if he — if Sirius — what if he wasn't who you thought he was?" she asked suddenly. "What if it happened to you? What if your best friend turned into . . . something — someone — you hate. What would you do? Would you stand by him anyway?"
"I don't know, honestly," he answered. "Yes, probably." Definitely, he told himself. But couldn't she see that Snape and Sirius were nothing alike? His mind drifted to the prank on Snape. "He's done stupid shit before," he said. "And he — earlier this year, he — he did something bad, something really, really bad."
She looked at him, and he could see that she, too, had heard the rumours. Well, he wasn't about to give her the down and dirty details. But he would give her something. "I was so furious. I mean, he nearly got somebody killed, and it was all this big joke to him, and if I hadn't stopped him, he would have dragged Remus into the whole mess, too." He paused.
"But you forgave him, didn't you?"
He nodded. "He was my best mate. It wasn't worth hating him after a while. And I knew — I knew he wouldn't do it again. Lesson learned, you know?"
She sighed and turned away from him, but as the air left her lungs, it brushed his face, and there was still a swirl of smoke in her breath. "I guess that's the difference, then," she said softly. Before he could ask what she meant, she added with a kind of bitterness sticking to the words, "Nothing's changed. He doesn't even realise. . . ." She didn't finish.
James chose his words carefully. "Evans, you know I think you're better off without the scum." He saw her jaw tighten, and he went on hastily. "But maybe — if he means that much to you — I mean, this is gonna wake him up, yeah?"
She frowned. "What do you mean?"
"I don't think anybody could catch your scent and ever really let you go," he told her. "Maybe Snape'll realise what he's missing. He's got to. And maybe that'll be enough to make him, I don't know, make him who you want him to be." That was as much as he could say on the matter. Truth be told, he would be happy if Snape was never a part of Lily's life again.
He had spent most of the last year trying to prove to Lily that she was better off without Snape in her life, that she should get rid of the tosser. He hated to see her like this, though.
She looked over at him, tilting her head a little. "I think that might be the sweetest thing you've ever said to me," she replied.
Yes! "You'd have heard plenty more if you weren't too busy yelling at me," he said.
"Maybe I wouldn't have had to yell at you if you weren't such a big —"
"Bully?" he suggested. "I think you've beat that horse dead, Evans."
She quirked her eyebrow a little. "I don't think it's dead until you know that you making a spectacle of other people isn't going to make me like you. All it does it make you a —" She paused, and there was a kind of gleam in her eye.
He grinned. "Bully," he supplied.
"Well," she said, "even if it never goes through your thick skull, at least you're well trained."
He looked down at his lap. This had to be one of the best conversations they'd had in months, probably the best all year. Why couldn't it be like more often? Didn't she see how great they were together? He looked over at her, and he could see her eyes growing glassy again. Bloody Snivellus.
He pushed himself to his feet. "C'mon, Evans." He held his hand out to her. She looked at it and then at him. She took it, and she stood. Her hand was cold. She slipped it from his grasp the moment she was on her feet, but they walked in stride as they headed down the tower.
"You smell like smoke," she observed.
"So do you," he replied.
"Mmm," she said, "I guess maybe we do having something in common, then."
v.
She smelt like ink.
She was hunched over a table in the library, furiously writing, and her hair seemed to be everywhere at once, a wild halo around her head. She had cut it recently so that it no longer flowed down her back and over her shoulders, but instead stuck out at her ears. He wasn't sure how much he liked the cut, but he was positive his opinion did not matter. In fact, she had been so kind as to tell him as much.
Knowing she hadn't yet seen him, he came up behind her and laid his hands on her shoulders. She jumped in her seat. He grinned at his success and swung around to slip into the seat beside her. She pressed a hand to her chest. "Sweet Jesus, Potter, you nearly scared me half to death!"
"Sorry," he said. "But you looked like you needed a good scare. If I didn't know any better, I'd say you've become something of a swot these days, Evans." He pulled her book away from her before she could stop him.
"Exams start in a week, and I need to study, okay?" She tried and failed to grab the book back from him.
"But when will we get our quality Potter and Evans time if you're studying all day?" he asked.
"Oh, I don't know, perhaps the same time we always do — half past never."
"If you're going to be snippy," he replied smoothly, "I'll just have to confiscate this book."
She looked like she wanted to hit him. "Give me my book, Potter," she demanded crisply.
"Ask nicely."
"Give. Me. My. Book."
"Attitude will get you no where in life, Evans, and if you want my advice —"
She lunged at him, nearly knocking him off his seat, sending her parchment flying, and spilling her ink on him, her, and the table. It all happened so fast he couldn't even enjoy the moment. "Oh," she moaned, looking at the mess as she clutched the book to her chest. And there was no doubt Madame Pince would be pouncing any moment.
"On the bright side," James said, adjusting his glasses, which she had knocked askew, "you got your book back."
She pressed her hands into her face, her shoulders slumping. His amusement deflated. He wiped his hands on his robes and then hesitantly reached out and touched her back. "I think I'm going crazy," she murmured. He didn't really have a response to that beyond agreeing, so he said nothing.
When she pulled her face from her hands and looked at him, she had ink smeared on her face. He would have laughed if there hadn't been tears welling in her eyes. "The Transfiguration exam is going to be terrible because I can't master a single spell in that class, and Marlie and Jenna are fighting again because it's all they ever do anymore and I hate it when friends fight, and — and my sister is getting married to a whale!"
"I'm pretty sure that's illegal, actually," he said, trying to stay cool. "What with laws against bestiality and all. Unless — Muggles aren't okay with it, are they?"
She made a noise somewhere between a groan and a snort. "You know what I mean. His name's Vernon, and he's dreadful, and my sister and I haven't been close in years but he's made everything between us even worse and . . . I don't know." She sighed. "I'm just so tired." She rubbed her temples and then tried to gather up all her things.
With a few taps of his wand, he cleaned up the ink and righted the bottle. She gave him a grateful smile. "Thanks," she muttered.
"Sure. And if you — if you need help with Transfiguration, I can help. Marlene and Jenna, er, you're on your own, but Transfiguration is something I actually know." If she said yes then they would have to study together and they could spend whole evenings together and —
"I might just take you up on that," she said. And then there was a moment, he was sure. For that one moment, sitting in the library, the only sound was the distant scratching of quills and the only smell was the thick, heady smell of fresh ink, and the only sight was Lily, her cheeks pink and streaked with black.
He smiled and reached forward, trying to wipe the ink off her face with his thumb. It had already stained the skin. She pulled away from him and rubbed at her face for a moment with the sleeve of her robe. "Does it look better?" she asked. It didn't. "God, I'm a mess!" she exclaimed.
"A gorgeous one, if that helps."
She rolled her eyes. "Oh, bugger off, Potter. You've sufficiently distracted me enough for today." They always wound up back at the beginning, her and him, but the more time passed, the less terrible of a place that seemed to be.
He grinned. "See, just for that, I have to have the last say," he said, and he dipped his pinky in the ink bottle, pulled it out, and quick as a dart, used his thumb to flick the ink at her, splattering her nose.
"Potter!"
"Evans!"
"POTTER! EVANS!"
James took Pince's arrival as his cue to leave. He winked at Lily as he left, and she only glared at him, but he could have sworn there was something else in her expression, too. He decided he would collect Sirius and see if his mate was up for a spot of flying. There was no point in trying to study — the smell of ink would be way too distracting.
vi.
She smelt like grass.
He still couldn't fathom that she had finally said yes. It seemed kind of surreal. In a way, it was all inevitable. Fourth year he realised he liked her. Fifth year she realised she hated him. Sixth year they realised maybe they both felt something else entirely. And now, two weeks into seventh year, they were lying out on a blanket in the middle of the Quidditch pitch, the stars bright above them.
James had to give himself a hand: he was great at dates.
They had started the afternoon out with a flying lesson, at which she had been surprisingly good. They had eaten a dinner prepared by House Elves at his request and then played a game of twenty questions while drinking the Butterbeer he'd convinced Remus to fetch. Among other things, he had learned that Lily was allergic to dust, liked thunderstorms, Muggle game shows (he still didn't really grasp the concept), knew how to knit, hated cooking but loved baking, and her favourite fruit was the blackberry.
"Last question," James said. "What's your favourite sweet?"
Lying on her side, her head propped on her hand as she mirrored his position, she answered slowly, "Twix bars. There's nothing better, not even in the magical world." She said it firmly, as if daring him to challenge her. It was exactly what he wanted to hear.
"That's good to know," he said, "because I happen to have some."
"What?"
He pulled the Twix out of his robes. Her jaw dropped. "How did you get that?"
"I bribed Jenna to tell me what your favourite sweet was and then I bribed her some more to get it for me," he told her, grinning. She shook her head at him as he tore open the package. "There are two!" He was surprised.
"One for each of us," she said, grabbing one from him.
"But I wanted to have to share one," he said. She laughed, and he decided that was good, too. It tasted funny, her beloved sweet, but it was a Muggle sweet, and they were always a bit odd, Muggles.
"Are you having a good time?" he asked, watching her lick the chocolate off her fingers.
She seemed to consider him. "It really matters so much to you, doesn't it?"
"Well — yes." How could it not? "I mean, I love a good chase and all, and you're really the only girl I've ever actually had to chase, but a man can only keep it up so long. The end is the best part of the race. 'Specially when you win." He grinned at her.
She rolled her eyes, and seeing that he wasn't eating the last of his Twix, leaned forward and took it from him, popping it into her mouth with a delighted little smile. "More for me," she declared. She was so close, then, and the urge was building up in him, and he knew he was leaning towards her, knew his eyes were flickering to her lips, but it was as if he had no control over himself.
She took a quick breath suddenly, and he glanced at her eyes, and he could see how nervous she was. He realised then that he had no idea if she'd ever even kissed a boy before. He was sure she must have, but what if . . . ? He wasn't sure what made him do it, but he did, and he was glad he did.
It took her by complete surprise when instead of his lips going for hers, his hands went for her stomach. She was instantly flailing about in laughter. She tried to fight back, tears leaking out of her eyes, and when her small hands slipped under his shirt, he lost it for more reasons than one. She rolled him over and they both tumbled off the blanket, laughing and wriggling. He could barely catch his breath and at one point he caught a faceful of grace and then all of sudden she was the one to catch his lips with hers.
Lying in the grass, he could smell it on her skin, and her mouth moved uncertainly on his, and she curled into him, her heart racing against his. He pulled away for an instant. She tasted like Twix. Her eyes were glazed and her face was flushed.
"James," she murmured, "I'm having a good time."
He took a deep breath, the air breezy but thick with the smell of fall and fresh grass, and he kissed her until nothing existed but he and she.
vii.
She smelt like vanilla.
It was the last day of seventh year. Their time at Hogwarts was over. The real world was beckoning them, and for the first time in his life, James was somewhat terrified. But it was hard to think bad thoughts when he was sprawled across the couch, his head in Lily's lap as she nostalgically recalled their time at Hogwarts. Most of the memories she called up were funnier ones, and she made all their fighting in fifth year seem much more hilarious than he was sure his fifteen-year-old self had found it.
There was a ring in his pocket.
His mother had given it to him two months before. His father had died after months of deteriorating health, and his mother had pressed it into his hand at the funeral. "Who knows what uncertainty is ahead, sweet boy," she murmured. "I know you're fighting for Dumbledore. Your father died so proud." There was so much more in her words, so much more the old ring he recognised as his great-grandmother's, a family heirloom, represented, but he only nodded.
He doesn't know how to ask. He would, but it was a part of that distant — or not so distant — future after Hogwarts. They were both fighting in the Order. They wold see each other all the time. But Lily was getting a flat with Marlie and Jenna, a flat that was really only big enough for two people, and James had bought a flat with Sirius, but when Remus's mother, already sick, finally passed away, he wouldn't want to live alone, and James could move out to let Remus move in, and . . . and they weren't really too young to get married, were they?
The future was scary to think about. Right now, it was better to remember the past.
"I remember in sixth year," Lily said, her fingers toying with James's hair, "when Marlie was so obsessed with the smell she couldn't identify in the Amortentia that she went around sniffing every boy she laid eyes on in hopes that he would be her true love." She laughed softly. "She never found the poor bloke."
"What did you smell?" James asked curiously. He hadn't thought about that Potion in a long time.
"I smelt cinnamon," she said, "like those cookies I used to make with my mum when I was little, and books —"
"Wait, wait, wait," he interrupted. "You smelt books? Do books even have a smell?"
"Of course they do! It's the most wonderful smell." Her eyes flickered close and she took a deep breath, as if she were imagining the smell right that moment. "Mmm."
"I don't really think such an obsession with books is healthy," he said. She opened her eyes, glared playfully down at him, and smacked his arm. He only grinned. "Well," he pushed. "What was the third smell? Essay parchment?"
"Actually," she said, "it was this warm spicy smell. I couldn't identify it for the longest time. I mean, I recognised that it was a kind of . . . boy smell, but that's all."
He cocked his head. "Did you figure it out?"
She started to laugh. "James," she said, "when you have a few spare minutes, take a whiff of yourself, will you?"
"You smelt me!" he exclaimed, feeling a kind of triumph. She was still laughing, and before she could say something else, he leaned up and kissed her, wrapping his arms around her back to take her with him as he sat up. She broke away from his kiss and settled into his lap, her knees hugging his hips.
"And what did you smell?" she asked.
He frowned. It had been a while ago, and he hadn't much thought on it. "Erm . . ."
"Oh, don't tell me you've forgotten. I promise you there's not a single girl in this school who will ever forget."
"Do I look like a girl to you, Evans?"
She rolled her eyes. "C'mon," she prodded. "What did you smell?"
"Well, I smelt leather — Chaser's gloves, of course."
"Oh, yes, of course. Of course you'd smell Quidditch. What else could you possibly love?"
"Pie," he replied. "I smelt pumpkin pie. There's nothing out there as good as pie. If somebody didn't smell pie, then that somebody's crazy. Except for you, of course." He grinned at her.
"Yes, I'm sure," she said, pursing her lips. "So? What else? Quidditch and pie and?"
"Are you fishing for something, love?"
She shoved him.
"You know what else, Lily," he murmured. "I smelt Quidditch and pie and you. And I had no trouble whatsoever recognising the scent, unlike some people. I've always known I loved Quidditch, pie, and you."
She had no quick quip. A soft look on her face, she reached forward and ran her hand over his messy hair. "What do I smell like?" she asked.
He shrugged. "You."
She made a face at him. "That's not an answer."
He sighed. "You smell like . . ." He leaned forward, wrapping his arms all the way around her back and pressing his face to he neck. At that moment, it was vanilla. Her skin was warm and soft and the sweet smell of vanilla, one of those scents only girls ever had, surely came from some sort of lotion or perfume.
His mind flickered over the past few years, over the smell of peppermint drops and the smell of the coming summer and lake water and the smell of Butterbeer and the heavy smell of cigarette smoke and the overwhelming smell of black ink and the smell of thick, humid, fresh grass. Suddenly it seemed like everything good and right in the world smelled like Lily, and everything Lily smelled like was good and right.
He pulled away a little, meeting her curious gaze. "You smell like everything," he said. She was everything. Did she know that? He would tell her when he finally gave her the ring.
"Everything?" she repeated. "So you're saying I smell like dead fish and that gross greenish mud behind the greenhouses that Sirius slipped in when he was snogging Casey Baxter and burnt —"
He cut her off with a kiss. "You smell like mine," he murmured.
"Yours? Did you pee on me to mark your territory?"
He started laughing, and he hugged her and pressed his face to her neck once more, taking a deep breath of vanilla. "You smell perfect," he finally said.
"Oh, fine. I suppose that's okay," she conceded.
"Yeah." He nodded, smiling at her. "I suppose so."
Fin.
"I knew when we collided,
You're the one I have decided,
Who's one of my kind."
A/N: This was mainly written as a way for me to take a break from the piles of work I'm currently drowning under (each part was a nice half hour away from the real world). Hopefully it's a fun read despite the fact that it sort of has no purpose. . . . Please review?
The Smell of You by MagEd
Chapter Notes: J.K. Rowling owns all things Harry Potter; no infringement is intended by this story. Title and lyrics from the song "Hey, Soul Sister" by Train. *Warning: shameless fluff (and a tiny bit of whiny!James) ahead.*