Something about the forest always calmed him.
Perhaps it was the darkness, lit only by a sliver of moon high above the trees, casting pale shadows across the forest floor.
Perhaps it was the quiet. The sounds of the forest surrounded him, but it was not the sharp clamour of the wizarding world, so loud and aggressive these days. It was the soft chirping of crickets, the quiet call of bullfrogs, the lone cry of a solitary wolf in the distance.
Perhaps it was the cool summer breeze, blowing gently across his arched back as he leapt through the undergrowth. Or perhaps it was the scent of wildflowers, rose, and honeysuckle that filled the air around him.
Perhaps it was the company.
Sirius ran beside him, his black coat rippling under powerful muscles. He turned his furry head toward James and barked loudly, almost as if laughing, and leapt ahead. James easily kept pace with his friend’s loping strides, reveling in the simple joy of running across the forest floor on four legs.
They came to a brook and bounded across its bubbling water. They crossed a moonlit clearing, disturbing a fox family in its den beneath a hollow log. With each breath, James felt the tension leaving his cervine body, his mind finding solace in the clean beauty of the forest.
Sirius began to lead them back toward the edge of the small woods where they roamed. They paused as they left the shelter of the trees, and Sirius let out a long howl, a sound James recognized as his friend’s call of success. Shaking his antlers in agreement, James began the familiar process of changing back into his other self.
As he felt his muscles morphing into the well-worn shape that was his human body, James once again marveled at the magical ability that allowed him to make these nighttime journeys through the woods. It had taken him and Sirius almost three years to figure out the complex transformation, with several close calls along the way; it had taken Peter even longer and a trip to the Hospital Wing. Yet the exhilaration of his first successful transformation into a stag was something he would never forget, and being able to support Remus during the painful full moon was worth every long night of study and failed attempts.
Beside him, Sirius had returned to his human form as well. He shook out his long hair and stretched, grinning at James, and together they headed toward a small cottage at the edge of the trees. Sirius had moved into the house after they had left Hogwarts, having inherited a good deal of money from his Uncle Alphard. Remus had joined him not long after, both of them working full time for the Order. It was a clean and simple house, its backyard running into the forest. James knew Sirius had chosen it to be closer to the woods; roaming among the trees seemed to provide the same balm to Sirius as it did for him at times. When Remus had moved in, it had made their monthly nocturnal wanderings even easier to plan and manage.
As they made their way through the freshly mown grass toward the house, they saw Remus and Peter sitting outside on the back porch, talking quietly as they sipped from large beer steins. The moon was not full, so Remus could not join their twilight run; Peter had stayed behind to keep him company. They stood as James and Sirius approached and raised their glasses in welcome.
–You must be thirsty after that!†cried Remus. –Come--join us as we start the celebration!â€
Peter raised his wand and Summoned two more mugs from the kitchen.
–I’d say from the sound of things, you already started,†said Sirius, drinking deeply as they settled into the chairs once more.
–We waited,†replied Peter, –only you two took your time, didn’t you?â€
–I imagine James has a lot on his mind,†said Remus. –A good run does a man well at such times.â€
–Or a stag,†added Peter.
–What, the wedding?†asked Sirius, his voice teasing. –What could possibly be so stressful about a wedding?â€
–He’s only vowing to spend the rest of his life with the woman he loves,†said Remus.
–In front of a dozen people,†added Peter.
–In the middle of a war,†said Sirius.
–That has already put them in St. Mungo’s once,†Remus reminded them.
–Which was how he got into this marriage thing in the first place,†said Sirius, raising his glass in a toast.
–Thanks for reminding me,†James grumbled, staring out at the trees. His friends were trying to lighten the mood, but what they said was true: he was getting married in the middle of a very deadly war, and every day he questioned whether or not that was the right thing to do.
Though it had been several months since they had been attacked by Death Eaters, he still shuddered to himself when he thought about how close he had come to losing everything.
He had been on an assignment with Lily when Death Eaters had appeared and attacked them in Liverpool. And in the middle of it, surrounded by the enemy with spells crashing around them, he had proposed. Just as quickly, his impulsive hopes for the future had been dashed when Lily had been kidnapped and cursed, and it seemed impossible they could ever be together.
Yet they had survived, and come through their ordeal stronger than before, though they had endured much heartache since. Now the day had finally arrived. Tomorrow he would be marrying Lily Evans. Now they would begin a new life together, facing hard times as a married couple. The thought elated him and terrified him, and apparently his friends could see both written plainly across his face.
–I don’t know,†Sirius laughed, –maybe he’s more worried about being a husband than being a wanted man.â€
–Lily wants him,†Remus pointed out.
–I wasn’t talking about her,†Sirius said, rolling his eyes. –She’ll be stuck with him.â€
James let his friends’ well-meaning banter roll over him. In truth, he was not worried about being a husband. He had known for years that he wanted to spend his life with Lily Evans. It had taken him a good long while to get her to understand that, but he knew without a doubt in the world that it was right, and that their life together would be perfect.
He was simply worried about how long it might last.
Times were tough. The battle against Voldemort continued day-in and day-out. Every week the Order met and new losses were reported. The attack in Liverpool was one of dozens on wizards and witches across the country: Frank and Alice Longbottom had been brutally attacked six weeks ago; Marlene McKinnon had barely escaped an ambush outside Diagon Alley; and the Prewett brothers had fought off several Death Eaters while scouting for the Order near Hogsmeade last week. Voldemort was recruiting powerful witches and wizards to his side, and when they refused to join him, he sent his Death Eaters after them. James and Lily escaped death once; he did not know if they could do so again. They were marked now, and Dumbledore believed even their wedding was a possible target.
Which was why it was turning out to be a much smaller affair than both he and Lily had hoped for. Only their closest friends among the Order had been invited, and the location--the McGonagall family home in Scotland--had been kept secret. They had placed numerous charms around the manor that afternoon, hoping to protect the guests should anything go wrong. Even then, James wondered if they should be taking such chances in the middle of a war.
–What’s Lily doing tonight?†Peter asked curiously.
–She’s with Mary and the girls,†James answered distractedly, –though she was going to see her sister first.â€
–The Muggle?†asked Remus. –I thought they didn’t get along.â€
James shrugged. –They don’t, not really. I don’t believe they’ve spoken since their parents died. I think Lily really wants family at her wedding, though.â€
–Can’t blame her,†Sirius said softly, staring out into the woods. –Estrangement is not the natural order of things.â€
James gazed at his friend, surprised at the rare show of emotion. Sirius did not often talk about his family, or his brother in particular, but James knew that it troubled his friend to be on opposite sides of the war from Regulus. Lily and Petunia might not be separated by things like dark magic and blood loyalty, but they were estranged over equally difficult and insurmountable issues. James knew it hurt Lily to be on such bad terms with her sister, and he understood that Lily had to try one more time to repair the breach between them. From what he had heard about Petunia, however, he had little hope for Lily’s success.
Abruptly James stood up, suddenly struck by the need to see her. He told himself that Lily might be upset after visiting with her sister, and that he should be there for her; what he really needed, though, was his own reassurance that they were doing the right thing. He hurried down the steps toward the back yard, ignoring his friends’ protests.
–Wait, where are you going?†Sirius called. –We’re supposed to be celebrating your last night as a single man!â€
–He’s going to see Lily, of course,†James heard Remus answer. He waved to his friends as he Apparated to London.
* * *
In Love and War by Gmariam
Chapter Notes: One of the best things about marriage is that it gets young people to bed at a decent hour. ~M.M. Musselman
Chapter Endnotes: Many thanks to Samarie/Hopeful_song for her beta work on this chapter. I really appreciate the fix-it and the encouragement! And thank you to everyone who has put up with me talking about this story as I worked on it. ;)