Chapter Six
The common room was abuzz with the news when Lily returned after lunch: James Potter had gotten into a fierce duel with Severus Snape after Defense Against the Dark Arts and was lying unconscious in the hospital wing, hideously scarred. The conversation seemed to stop when she stepped through the portrait hole, or perhaps she only imagined every other head turning toward her and whispering.
Were they blaming her? Why? Did it have something to do with what had happened during class? She was confused and worried; none of James’s friends had been in the Great Hall for lunch, and she hadn’t been able to confirm the rumors that were spreading like wildfire through the school. She had briefly considered asking Severus, but she had barely spoken to him all year, and he did not come to lunch, either.
As she made her way through the common room, Lily saw Remus and Peter coming in through the portrait hole and hurried over toward them. Remus looked like he wanted to avoid her; he was pale and seemed worried and distracted. Instead, Peter was the one who stopped and turned when she called them. He nodded to Remus, who climbed slowly upstairs toward their dormitory. Lily frowned. What was so bad that Remus couldn't talk to her? Or had he somehow been injured as well?
"Peter," she asked intently. "What happened? Is it true? Is James okay? Tell me what's going on!"
"Hi, Lily," he said, not quite meeting her eyes as he glanced up the stairway toward the dormitory. "He's okay. He's resting now. He just lost a lot of blood."
"What?" she exclaimed. "How?"
Peter's face darkened. "Snape," he said shortly. "Dark magic."
Lily stared at him in disbelief. "What? Here? At Hogwarts?"
"You knew he was into that stuff," Peter mumbled, his tone slightly critical. "I don't know why you're so surprised."
"We haven't been friends for two years!" Lily exclaimed, feeling unjustly accused of something she had no part of. "Why are you acting like I had something to do with it?"
"Because they were fighting over you," Peter said bluntly, looking into her face for the first time. His angry expression quickly softened, though, when he saw the look of shock in her eyes. "I'm sorry. I know it's not really your fault," he said.
"Tell me what happened, Peter," Lily demanded. She was angry and upset and didn't know whether to cry or scream. She listened as Peter told her how James had gone after his Patronus, how Snape had followed him, and how they had dueled in the corridor.
"Sirius got a nasty knock on the head, and then Snape sliced up James's neck with some Dark magic spell of his own. Professor Brookstanton had to pull it out of him so they could actually treat James. He lost a lot of blood, but apparently he'll be okay."
"Oh, my god," Lily whispered. "Can I see him?"
Peter shrugged. "He's still unconscious. Madam Pomfrey gave him a Blood Replenishing Potion, a sleeping draught, and tossed us out, so I doubt it. She said we could check back tomorrow, though."
"Is Remus okay?" Lily asked, glancing up toward the boys' dormitory. "And where's Sirius?"
"Sirius is sending the Potters an owl. And Remus is just upset about almost losing one of his best mates," Peter replied a bit archly. "Look, he told me about your Patronus."
Lily nodded as Peter leaned in closer. "I think James really likes you. Don't play him, okay? Especially now."
He gave her a small nod before he turned and left the common room. She stood there for a long time, unable to believe what had happened. She had finally produced a Patronus”and it had almost gotten James Potter killed.
* * *
It had been a long afternoon, trying to focus in class when her mind had been thinking of a dozen different things besides Potions. The evening was wearing just as long. Lily glanced around the common room yet again. None of James's friends had returned, and it was almost past curfew. They had left shortly after dinner with bags on their shoulders and a very unsubtle announcement about going to the library. Lily knew about the Invisibility Cloak, however, and knew perfectly well what they were doing: sneaking into the hospital wing to see James.
Slamming her Potions book shut, she stood and grabbed her bag, making a similar excuse to her friends. Mary raised her eyebrows and mouthed, "Be careful," as Lily left the common room. Apparently her motives were quite transparent.
"Bit late for the library, isn’t it, Miss Evans?" asked the Fat Lady as she hurried down the corridor.
"Never too late to study!" she called back. As soon as she turned the corner, she stashed her bag behind a tapestry and pulled out her wand. Glancing around to be sure no one was watching, she tapped her head and cast a Disillusionment Charm. It felt as if a can of worms was running down her body, and she shivered as the spell concealed her as well as an Invisibility Cloak. She didn't need it quite yet, especially since she was Head Girl, but for some reason she did not want to be seen heading toward the hospital wing, especially if she was not able to see James. Looking down, Lily saw only the castle corridor where her hand should have been.
"Helga's girdle, Potter," she murmured as she made her way toward the hospital wing. "Look what you've done to me, sneaking around like one of you lot." She would have laughed at herself if she had not been going to see someone who had been cursed near to death.
Lily entered the hospital wing quietly, making sure to shut the door very deliberately behind her. It was dark and silent. She carefully crept past two beds, its occupants already sleeping softly. She expected to find James asleep as well, but stopped short when she got to his cot.
He was propped up against several pillows, a large bandage covering the left side of his face and neck; his glasses were on the bedside table. He was pale and seemed dull and tired, except for the small smile on his face as he nibbled a Chocolate Frog. Sirius was sitting at the foot of the bed with Peter standing behind him. Remus sat beside the cot, arms crossed in front of him, still looking peaky and upset. They were talking, but Lily couldn't hear a word; they must have cast an Imperturbable Charm over their area.
She wanted to dispel the Disillusionment Charm and join them, but something stopped her. She wasn't sure how she would be received, for one. Remus had seemed upset after lunch, and Peter had almost blamed her for what had happened. She had never had a great relationship with Sirius, as he took little seriously and seemed to enjoy bothering her even more than James had.
She was also curious. Perhaps she might learn more about what had happened by listening just a bit. And then perhaps they would leave, and she could visit with James on her own. She wanted to talk to him about her Patronus, but not in front of all his friends.
As she moved closer into the curtained area around the cot, Lily was able to hear their conversation. She made sure she was on the opposite side of the bed from Remus. She knew from experience he had a good sense of his surroundings and didn't want him to catch her eavesdropping again. As she settled down on the floor next to the bed, she bumped against the table, and James frowned, glancing down right at her. She held her breath, irrationally hoping he wouldn't see her.
"Something down there, Prongs?" asked Sirius, handing him another Chocolate Frog.
"No," said James. "Probably just your big feet bouncing my bed around."
Remus snorted and motioned for a candy. Sirius tossed him one, close enough to James's head that he had to duck.
"Watch it, Padfoot!" he exclaimed. "I don't need another blow to the head."
Sirius winked. "Not yet, anyway. So finish the story. What happened after Snivellus Stunned me?"
Lily nodded to herself; apparently they hadn't been talking long if they were still gathering facts about the fight. She would get to hear the story for herself, then.
"We fought some more." James shrugged. "He's getting more and more brutal, you know. It wasn't like fighting him a year or two ago. He's changed."
"He's probably a Death Eater," Remus murmured darkly. Lily gasped, but no one noticed as Sirius let out a sharp bark of a laugh.
"That greasy tosser, a Death Eater? Give me a break."
Both James and Remus looked at him very seriously. Lily felt her breath catch at the thought of her childhood friend joining the ranks of Voldemort. He had chosen his gang of Slytherin friends over her years ago, but a small part of her had hoped he would turn away from Dark magic. It seemed her hopes were in vain, and she felt a slight pang of sadness knowing he was certainly lost to her forever now. Her thoughts were interrupted by Peter.
"How did it end, then?" asked Peter, leaning over to grab a chocolate from Sirius. Sirius batted his hand away, but Peter took one anyway.
"Hey, those are for James!"
"You tossed one to Remus," Peter pointed out.
"He asked, you didn't. Besides, he's got a hard weekend coming up."
"True, but there's enough to go around. You were saying, James?"
James grinned, but it quickly disappeared as he recounted what happened next. "I hit his leg with a Severing Charm, and he shouted something I'd never heard before. I'd felt it, though. I think he used it fifth year, out by the lake. Only then he didn't hit a major artery." He grimaced as his hand went to the bandages on his neck.
"How do you know it was Dark magic?" asked Peter. He sounded both curious and apprehensive.
"It just felt like it," James shrugged. "It didn't feel right."
"I expect not, when your face is getting sliced open," noted Sirius.
"Not like that," said James. "It felt…unclean. It was a powerful curse, too. I went down immediately. Sirius caught me just as Brookstanton came running over. I remember McGonagall showing up, too."
Sirius snorted. "You apologized to her, Prongs. Not sure what for, seeing as you were collapsing in shock."
James looked down at his hands and shrugged again. "I’m Head Boy. There’s a big match this weekend. I shouldn't have been fighting, even with Snape. I let her down. I let myself down."
"He deserved it, Padfoot," said Sirius, his eyes blazing. "He made some ridiculous accusations!"
"Like what?" asked Remus, leaning forward. He pushed his hair from his face, and Lily was surprised to see how tired he looked.
James leaned back against the pillows and sighed. "That I was cheating in class. That I conjured Evans's Patronus for her just so she would go out with me. That I gave her a doe so she'd think we were meant to be together."
Remus gave a low whistle as he sat back. Peter nudged Sirius to move over and joined him on the edge of the bed. "That's when you started fighting?" he asked, helping himself to another candy.
Sirius snorted. "He had a comeback of his own, first."
"Which was?"
He cleared his throat. "That he didn't need to do such a thing because she'd already snogged him in the corridor."
Lily couldn't help it: she gasped again. James had said that? To Snape? The thought of him bragging on their kiss infuriated her, even if it was to defend himself from baseless accusations.
Once more, her own sound was covered up by their conversation, though James did frown at her again, as if he were starting to suspect something. She backed away just a bit, even though she knew they couldn't see her. She also knew she shouldn't be listening, but now she couldn't help it: how would James defend himself?
"It just slipped out," James muttered. "He said she'd always hated me and always would. He said she'd never go out with me. I panicked." He sounded miserable, and even though Lily was still angry, she at least knew why he had said it. She would have to deal with the consequences”for it certainly wouldn't stay a secret now”as they came.
"Well, it definitely got to him," said Sirius. "So was it true, or did you make it up to goad him?"
James didn't answer, and Remus started looking intently at his hands. "You knew!" exclaimed Sirius, pointing at Remus.
"And you didn't tell us," Peter added accusingly.
"Wasn't my place to tell," replied Remus, holding up his hands in defense. "Ask him."
James had closed his eyes; he was obviously getting tired. "Ask me later," he murmured. "Tell me what happened after I passed out."
"What happened after he Stunned me?" Sirius countered.
James shrugged. "We tossed a bunch of spells back and forth. Like I said, I got him, he got me. Now tell me what happened after that."
Sirius took up the story again. "Oh, you should have seen Brookstanton have a go at Snape after he revived him. It was beautiful. Snape just about wet his pants giving up the counterspell to whatever he hit you with. McGonagall put you on a stretcher, and Brookstanton worked on you all the way back to the hospital wing. You scared us, mate."
James opened his eyes and smiled. "Thanks, Padfoot. Then what?"
"Not much else to say," Sirius replied. "These two showed up just as Pomfrey gave you the potion to replenish the blood you lost and a sleeping draught to let it work. She looked at my head and cleaned up Snape's leg, though she should have just let him rot as far as I'm concerned. McGonagall asked us a load of questions, and then they finally shooed us away."
James sighed wearily. "And the consequences?"
Sirius shook his head. "Pretty bad, Prongs. One week of detention, twenty points a piece, and a letter home. I sent your parents an owl so they wouldn't be too upset when they got McGonagall's letter."
"Ouch," said Peter, giving James a sympathetic look. "That's rough."
"Thanks for the owl," said James. "I'd rather they hear it from you first." They were all silent for a moment. Even Lily was a bit stunned by the consequences. No wonder Peter had gotten so angry and blamed her. In a way, it was her fault.
"You think you'll be out by tomorrow night?" Peter asked. Remus looked up, his eyes shadowed.
"I already feel better," James replied, yawning.
"You look like hell," Remus pointed out.
"Yeah, well, now you know what you look like every month." James smiled to soften his words, although Lily didn't understand what he was referring to. "I'll be okay tomorrow. Just tired."
"We should go then," said Remus, standing wearily. Peter joined him, but Sirius did not move. "Get some rest. You've got a match this weekend, too, you know."
"Don’t remind me,” James murmured, passing a hand over his eyes. “Wait, what about Evans? Does she know?"
Sirius looked confused at the question. Remus frowned. Peter was the one who answered. "Everyone knows. She asked about you in the common room, though. I told her you were hurt pretty bad, but that you were okay. She was upset."
A small smile crossed James's face. A part of her wanted to wipe it off immediately with a jinx, but another part of her wanted to throw off the charm and kiss him right there in front of his friends. She did neither and just continued listening.
"What's going on with her, James?" asked Sirius, lowering him voice in spite of the Imperturbable Charm still protecting their conversation from the rest of the hospital wing. "You really kiss her last weekend?"
James nodded.
"And?"
"It was amazing," he said, grinning. He looked a bit more like his normal self. Lily felt a shiver go down her spine; it had been amazing, even if she couldn't seem to settle things with him.
"So are you together now?" Sirius was frowning, like something bothered him.
"I don't know," said James. He sounded emotionally drained. "We tried to talk about it, but it didn't go very well, and we haven't had a chance since then. We were supposed to meet tonight. Now there's this whole thing that happened in Defense Against the Dark Arts, and I'm stuck here. I don't know," he repeated. "But I hope so."
"Finally," murmured Remus. Peter nodded in agreement, but Sirius was still frowning.
"Why didn't you tell us?" Sirius finally asked. He sounded hurt, and Lily was surprised at the depth of their friendship that such a thing would bother him. She was also surprised James had kept it to himself”at least, until he had revealed it to Snape.
James was quiet for a moment. "I guess I didn't want you giving me a hard time," he answered quietly. "I think this could be it."
"We always give you a hard time about Evans," Sirius grinned as he stood. "It's our job."
"Not lately," James pointed out, echoing the same words she had spoken to him just days earlier. "It's different now. Things change."
"How so?" asked Remus. Lily suspected he knew exactly what James was going to say before he said it. It was not, however, what she thought it would be.
"I think I'm in love with her," James said simply.
Lily jumped up, a small squeak escaping her lips before she clamped her hand over her mouth. She did not see his friends' reactions as she ran from the hospital wing, not caring whether or not anyone saw her. She had heard too much anyway.
* * *
Things Change by Gmariam
Chapter Endnotes: My continued thanks to Apurva for beta-reading this chapter and sticking with my story!