Chapter Nine
The morning sun streamed through the windows, slowly creeping across the dormitory until James could not ignore the light shining through the curtains around his bed anymore. With a groan, he rolled over, flinging his arm across his face. He was so exhausted that he could hardly think straight. Hazy images floated across the back of his eyelids: the forest, the hospital wing, dueling Snape, pulling a large wolf off a big black dog, kissing Lily Evans in the corridor…
With a start, James sat up and grabbed his glasses. He was supposed to meet Lily in the common room in ten minutes. After everything that had happened, he couldn't be late; she'd never forgive him if she thought he had left her yet again.
Jumping out of bed, he washed up as quickly and as quietly as he could. Sirius and Peter, also exhausted after a night roaming the forest with Remus, slept soundly and did not even stir when he grabbed his robes and left the dormitory.
He hurried down to the common room, half expecting to find Lily waiting for him with an angry look on her face. A few students were up and around, but Lily was not among them. He decided to wait, hoping he had not missed her. Yet, when twenty minutes had gone by and she hadn't appeared, he began to worry. Had she already gone to the Great Hall, upset that he was late? Or was she deliberately standing him up, in return for all the times he had left her?
He couldn't blame her for either after all they had been through that week. And after meeting her on the grounds last night and showing her his Animagus form, he was worried that she would reject him completely and end whatever was going on between them before it had a chance to even start.
He decided to check the Great Hall, just to be sure he hadn't missed her in the common room. As he jogged through the portrait hole and down the corridor, the Fat Lady called after him, "You're up early for someone who was out so late!"
He ignored her.
A handful of students were already in the Great Hall when he arrived, including most of the Gryffindor Quidditch team. James skidded to a stop. He had completely forgotten about the match and had left all his equipment back in the dormitory. Thomas Kirke, however, had already seen him, and was motioning him over to sit with the team. James walked toward them, but did not sit down.
"You still look like hell, Potter," said Kirke, frowning. "Didn't you sleep last night? We need you in top form today."
"I'll be fine if you lay off me, Kirke," James snapped, glancing around the hall for Lily. He saw some of the other team members raise an eyebrow at his uncharacteristically irritable comment, but he did not care much at that moment. Lily wasn't anywhere to be seen, and his heart sank. He had to get back to Gryffindor; perhaps they had just missed each other, and she was still waiting for him there.
"Calm down, Potter," said Kirke, standing and putting his hand on his shoulder. He leaned in close so only James could hear him. "I'm not trying to piss you off; I'm just trying lead the team. This is an important match today."
James stared at him, suddenly feeling guilty for letting the team down. He rubbed the bridge of his nose and sighed. "I know. I'm sorry. I'm just a bit distracted, that's all."
"How can we help you, James?" called Cynthia Morris, the other Chaser. She was a sixth-year with long blond hair and a bright smile. She was also one of the only girls who wouldn't give Sirius the time of day. James couldn't help but relax at her far more encouraging attitude toward him.
"Have you seen Lily this morning?" he asked her, ignoring a snort from Ryan Sloper, one of the Beaters.
"No, I'm sorry, James," she said. She looked sympathetic. She had probably heard the rumors about him and Lily by now, and, being a girl, could make a good guess as to what was going on. His other teammates would certainly not understand. "Check with Mary and Sandra, though. They were just stirring when I left."
James nodded, chiding himself for not thinking clearly. Of course that's what he should do: he needed to find Lily's friends, they would know where she was. He patted Kirke on the shoulder with as much false enthusiasm as he could muster. "I've got to get my stuff and go over some things with Evans. I'll meet you on the pitch for warm-ups." He turned before Kirke could protest.
"Don't forget to eat something, Potter!" Kirke called after him anyway.
"Yes, Mum," James muttered under his breath. Sometimes Kirke was as much a mother hen as he was a Quidditch captain.
James ran back to the common room, dodging the increasing number of students heading to the Great Hall for breakfast. He was relieved to find Mary and Sandra just coming down from the girls' dormitory. They were alone, however, and he felt his anxiety increase when he didn't see Lily anywhere in the room. They stopped and stared as he hurried up to them, as if they were expecting to see Lily with him. It was obvious they knew something was going on between him and Lily, and he felt suddenly uncomfortable asking them about Lily's whereabouts.
"Hi, Mary," he said. "Sandra," he added, nodding to the other girl. "Have you seen Lily this morning?"
They shared a puzzled look. "No," said Mary, frowning at him. "We were going to ask you the same thing."
"Huh?" he replied stupidly. "Why?"
"She didn't come back to her bed last night," said Sandra. "Or if she did, we didn't hear her, and she left long before we were up."
"I know she was sneaking out to meet you," Mary said pointedly. "She told me you ditched her again. So what happened?"
James was too stunned to answer immediately. Lily hadn't made it back to Gryffindor Tower. He was flooded with dread: had something happened out on the grounds? In the castle? Had she been caught? Or had she made it back safely and simply left before seeing anyone?
"James?" asked Sandra. "What's going on? Is she okay?"
James shook himself of dark thoughts. "Yes, she found me last night. We were out on the grounds, but I left her by the castle entrance."
"You left her?" asked Mary, her voice dangerously thin. "Outside, in the middle of the night? You didn't walk her back or anything?"
"I gave her my…" He trailed off, not wanting to reveal his secret. "I had to leave. I thought she'd be safe."
"Well," snapped Mary, "you apparently thought wrong, because she's missing. Nice job, Potter. Way to be a gentleman." She grabbed Sandra's arm and hurried away. "We'll find her. Just stay away if you're going to keep leaving her."
The words stung, and James simply stood there, gaping silently as they left the common room. He almost couldn't blame Mary for what she had said: how many times had he walked away from Lily now, just left her because he couldn't deal with the moment, or even worse, had somewhere else to be? He had thought he was doing what he had to do the previous night, when in reality he had told her without words that his friends were more important, even though he desperately wanted to put her first.
A number of other students were staring at him, and he bit back the impulse to snap and tell them to mind their own business. If the school wasn't talking about him and Lily after Defense Against the Dark Arts and his fight with Snape, they certainly would be talking now: the Head Girl was missing after the Head Boy had left her outside on the grounds after a middle of the night rendezvous.
Shaking himself out of a dazed reverie, James ran back up to his dormitory. He didn't care if his friends were sleeping, he needed their help. He flung open the curtains on the windows and shook Sirius awake. Peter heard the commotion and began to stir on his own.
"Wake up, Padfoot," James said. "Something's wrong."
"Yeah," muttered Sirius. "It's too damn early to be getting up now, that's what's wrong."
"No, I need your help," said James. "Lily's missing."
Sirius sat up, rolling his shoulders and rubbing the sleep from his eyes. "Evans?" he asked groggily. "What do you mean, she's missing?"
"I was supposed to meet her in the common room this morning, only she didn't show up," James said. Peter was sitting up now, listening intently. "She wasn't in the Great Hall, either, and Mary just told me Lily didn't come back last night."
"Didn't come back?" Sirius echoed with a big yawn. "You mean, after she followed you out to the grounds and I got this lovely scuff?" He rubbed his arm where Remus had scratched him while he had handled the wolf on his own during James's brief absence.
"Yes," James replied intently. "Something's happened. It's not like her to just wander off, stay out all night. Something's wrong," he repeated.
"Prongs," began Sirius, throwing his feet over the side of his bed, "it's not like her to kick back a few drinks, snog you in the hallway, and steal around the castle after you, but she's done all three this week thanks to you." He stretched. "Maybe she's on rounds or something."
James frowned as Sirius stood and began to get dressed. "No, the Ravenclaw prefects are on duty today. She would have come back. I know something's happened. You have to help me find her."
"Have you checked the map?" asked Peter from behind him. James blew out his breath; he hadn't even thought about using the map. He had got it back from Lily last night, but couldn't remember who had it for the walk back to Gryffindor from the Whomping Willow.
"Do you have it?" he asked as Peter stood and began to get ready. Peter shook his head and tossed a thumb toward Sirius.
"Merlin, Prongs, you didn't even think of the map before waking us?" Sirius groaned. He pulled the Marauder's Map from his robes and threw himself back down on the bed. "Can I go back to sleep if you find her?"
"No," said James, his heart beating furiously in his chest as he immediately found the small dot labeled 'Lily Evans'. "She's in the hospital wing with Remus."
* * *
Things Change by Gmariam
Chapter Endnotes: Thank you, Apurva!
And thank you to everyone who has read and reviewed this story. It will probably conclude soon, assuming no more roadblocks suddenly appear. :)