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Chocolate Frog by L A Moody

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Disclaimer: With humble gratitude to J. K. Rowling for allowing me to build castles in her sandbox once more.



Thirty - One
Harry: Culture Shock


On a fragile April morning when the weak sun seemed like it was rimmed with icicles, the Imperturbable Charm surrounding his flat was punctured. The primal roar of machinery alerted Harry and he rushed to the scene with wand outstretched. Instead of Death Eaters in gruesome masks, however, an unfamiliar owl was dancing anxiously from foot to foot on his balcony railing. It clutched a brown envelope in its beak that was much too large to be attached to its leg.

Harry offered it a bit of his breakfast toast in recompense for the biting cold. With a disdainful look, the owl simply spit the oversized envelope in his general direction and took to the air with powerful beats of its tawny wings. Harry reinstated the blessed silence with a practiced swipe. Tossing the rejected toast towards the pigeons that often roosted on the aluminum awnings below, he bent over to retrieve the package.

–DON’T!” Edwina Cornwallis’ voice rang out as she tried to shoulder him out of the way.

Harry smiled down at the fearsome mite of a witch. –I don’t pay you enough to be my bodyguard, you know.”

–You don’t pay me enough to come in on Saturdays, yet here I am,” she countered, her silver curls fairly crackling with defiance.

–Which is why I insisted you let me fry the eggs for a change,” he returned the familiar refrain. –Remember all that practice I got with my aunt’s family?”

He’d given up trying to convince her not to fix him breakfast on the mornings when she let herself into his flat. Her duties as his personal assistant only required her to deal with the never-ending stream of letters that arrived for the Boy-Who-Lived-Into-Manhood. But she always had a difference of opinion, he soon learned.

Her argument that she had to leave her cottage extra early to avoid the crush on the tube was true enough -- assuming you accepted that an inner ear condition made Flooing and Apparition torturous. Secretly, he suspected that she’d grown accustomed to Muggle transport in order to accompany her late husband who’d been a Squib.

Argument number two was that it was much easier to fix enough for the both of them once she arrived at his flat. Would he rather she feed his portion to the pigeons? she’d dared.

Recognizing a losing battle, Harry capitulated after obtaining her word that she would allow him to stock the refrigerator. A promise that she broke the next week, asserting that as long as she had to buy birdseed for her poor canaries, it was just as easy to pick up a few things for him as well. Her accusatory eyes conveyed that he often found the markets closed after a long day at the Ministry.

A partial truth only. Harry was convinced she just needed someone to fuss over. Clearly, her pet birds couldn’t provide the same level of companionship as the daughter who’d recently relocated to Aberdeen.

He took to leaving a container with galleons as well as pound notes in the fridge so she could enjoy the market as she wished. He didn’t bother keep an accounting of what was spent; no matter what, he came out ahead as Mrs. C was a wonderful cook. There was nothing that could surpass the aroma of fresh baked scones as he knotted his tie in the steamy bathroom mirror.

–Shove off!” she commanded like a right tyrant, refocusing Harry’s attention on the day’s unexpected delivery. –Or you’ll be taking me to the Devonshire Arms for high tea, arm in a sling and all!”

With a playful grimace, Harry relented. He’d recognized the name of Mrs. C’s favorite tea emporium, a bastion of quaint old ladies who delighted in cooing and pinching cheeks. He had plans to take Teddy to the aquarium that afternoon and he was not about to disappoint his godson. Nor was he going to suggest that she join them, either. Teddy hated teashops with a vengeance, or so Andromeda had confided with a wry laugh, especially when he was such a docile child about everything else. But Harry understood instinctively: those old biddies had surprising strength in their blue-veined fingers.

Wrapping his hands around his coffee mug, Harry retreated to the relative warmth of his sofa to enjoy the floorshow.

Mrs. Cornwallis coaxed the envelope towards the kitchen counter with a complicated corkscrew wand motion. At the last minute, she slipped a wooden chopping board beneath it to protect the surface. A number of cautionary spells followed before she would assert that it was apparently not booby-trapped.

He reached over to snag the letter from the counter only to come face to face with her wand.

–Mighty irregular, if you ask me,” she muttered. –Your address hasn’t been published in Witch Weekly, has it?”

–Not as far as I know.”

–Did you post a plaintive advert in the Lonely Hearts section of the Prophet?”

Harry gave a sharp, derisive snort. –Did you send one in using my name?”

–Birds of that sort aren’t my cup of tea. Never have been.”

She must’ve been a true dynamo as part of the Magical Incendiary Squad, Harry conceded to himself. Percy had been very astute to recommend her, even if she could get overly talkative at times. Truth be told, he was often a bit lonely himself with his best mates still away at school.

–My close friends have this address,” Harry countered.

–Doesn’t sound like one of their return addresses.” She flicked the envelope around so he could see for himself.

The Holyhead Harpies, it read. Harry’s heart floated towards the ceiling as he barely managed, –That’s the Quidditch team that recruited Ginny.”

–Ah, the elusive girlfriend.”

–What? No disparaging comment to go with it?”

Mrs. Cornwallis shook her head sadly. –Reckon you’ve heard enough of that from just about everyone else. Just bear in mind that this may not be what you think it is.”

She didn’t object when he retired to his bedroom. In the background, he could hear the clatter of dishes as she tidied the kitchen. He considered objecting, but washing and drying spells were not very taxing in the whole scheme of things. He’d just have to give her a rise in salary when he achieved full Auror status.

He placed the envelope in the single square of sunlight that fell across his bedspread. Now that it was finally here, he was suddenly unnerved. Or was it the recriminations echoing in his mind about the phantom girlfriend that kept all other women at bay?

–You’re just being silly,” he muttered to himself as he slipped his letter opener beneath the green wax seal bearing a single talon.

He up-ended the envelope and found himself staring into Ginny’s smiling face. She flicked a long copper strand over her shoulder and gave him a saucy wink. In the next instant, the image morphed to her astride a racing broom, the team emblem blazoned across the back of her dark green Quidditch jersey. Her hair had been pulled back into a ponytail that streamed behind her.

So she made the team! Harry’s spirits soared until he felt like he was riding the wind at her side.

He peered into the amber depths of the envelope, but there was no personal note enclosed. He ran his fingers wistfully across the signature she’d scrawled on the lower left and felt the slightest tingle of magic. Ginny, he repeated involuntarily to himself. He was rewarded by the photo flipping over and dark printing coalescing before his eyes.

Number 12, Ginny Weasley, is the newest member of the Harpies
family, or flock, as we like to say. She comes to us from the mighty
halls of Gryffindor House, where legend says she was instrumental
in winning the House Cup…


Harry stopped reading as his hopes turned to soggy ashes. A ruddy publicity photo! Who did they think he was, a lovesick fan who harbored a secret passion for the Harpies? He squeezed his eyes shut as the reality of his words took root in his heart -- or what remained of it.

That was exactly what they thought. His personal note had been sorted with the fan mail that received a stock response. One of the Harpy Heads, as the team’s followers called themselves, would’ve been thrilled to have such a memento. To a personal friend, it was the ultimate insult.

No, make that a splash of cold water in the face! Harry grimaced. He considered balling the glossy photo into a tight little ball and then intercepting it with a brisk Reductor Curse as he tossed it high in the air. Maybe create confetti out the window…. But he decided against it as he had so few photos of Ginny as it was. Not that he wanted it staring smugly down at him from a frame, mind you. But someday he might regret that he hadn’t kept it. Especially when she became a huge success.

With numb fingers, he placed it inside the barely touched pages of his old History of Magic text. That would keep it safe and out of sight at the same time.





Two weeks later, Harry had still not told anyone about the incident. Mrs. C had shown enough tact to not press and he was not about to mar a cherished afternoon with his godson. Perhaps Andromeda had sensed that he was a bit downcast when they settled down to supper after tucking Teddy in bed. But she was the last person he wanted to burden with his mundane troubles. Ginny was still alive, wasn’t she? And that meant his heartache paled in comparison to that of others, Andromeda included.

Back home for Easter break, Hermione had not hesitated to invite him to join her and Ron for an afternoon at the cinema a few days later. At a loss for what to do with himself, Harry arrived on her doorstep almost two hours earlier than expected.

–I’m rubbish at punctuality when I’m off duty,” Harry issued in response to her flustered expression. –I’ll come back…”

She grabbed him by the elbow and eased him inside her parents’ house. Placing a finger to her lips to indicate that her little sister was asleep upstairs, she grabbed him in a silent hug. He found himself hugging her back as if he’s forgotten how good it felt. If Mr. Granger hadn’t walked down the stairs at that very moment, Harry didn’t know if they’d been able to pry his arms apart.

–No need to pantomime,” he issued as he pumped Harry’s hand. –The little one’s already awake. Fussing that she wants to go in her pram.”

–Oh, dear,” Hermione flushed. –She can’t bear to have me out of her sight.”

–Conspiring to take over the world, the Granger women are,” Graham announced proudly.

–Hermione, dear,” Mrs. Granger’s voice rang down from the top of the stairs, –would you mind taking Niffer for a short stroll around the block? She’s restless even though it’s not yet time for her eleven o’clock feeding.”

–Perhaps she needs her nappy changed,” Hermione returned.

–Already took care of that,” Jeanette replied. She was halfway down the stairs when she noticed Harry. –Why Harry, I didn’t expect you here so soon!”

–Forgive my rudeness,” Harry apologized. –I’ll just go for a coffee and come back when you’re not so busy.”

–Rubbish!” Graham insisted. –If you want peace and quiet, you’ll have to wait until the wee one starts school.”

–You can just go on a walk with both of us,” insisted Hermione. Before he had time to protest, Jennifer had been strapped into the pram and was staring up at them with round, curious eyes.

Within minutes, they arrived at a small playground that rang with the happy cries of children enjoying a rare sunny day. Hermione found an empty bench near the swings and turned the pram around so Jennifer would be entertained by watching the older children.

Turning to Harry, she demanded lowly, –So what’s bothering you?”

–Me? Nothing. Probably should have my wristwatch checked out, though.”

Tilting her head to take a quick glance at his watch, she proclaimed, –Don’t buy it. You know I’ll pry it out of you sooner or later.”

–You really are sure of yourself.”

She shrugged off the remark. –I spent six years with you at school and one tramping about the countryside. You don’t fool me quite so easily.”

With a deep sigh, Harry surrendered the details of his response from the Holyhead Harpies.

–I’m sorry,” she commiserated. –That’s got to sting. Anything I can do?”

He made as if to shake his head morosely, but then changed his mind. –There is one thing. Please don’t tell Ron. I don’t want this spreading among the rest of his family.”

–No, of course not. Ginny might not even be aware of it, you know.”

–Some staff person mixed up her personal mail?”

–You have to admit it makes sense. With their number of fans, the Harpies must have someone who sorts through their mail just like Mrs. Cornwallis does for you.”

Harry nodded so she’d know that her encouraging words meant a lot to him. Undoubtedly, there was some truth to her interpretation, but it also meant that Ginny hadn’t added him to her list of personal friends, either. He chose to keep silent nevertheless. No point in putting a damper on their time together, blessed hours where it would be more difficult for thoughts of Ginny to intrude.

–What an adorable child!” a middle-aged man crooned as Jennifer gave him a gummy smile. –She looks just like the both of you.”

Hermione started at the compliment and stammered incoherently.

Seizing the moment, Harry interceded, –Why, thank you! She can be quite a handful at times. You may not realize it, but behind that placid smile, she’s already plotting to overthrow Parliament.”

The man chuckled appreciatively at Harry’s words and doffed his hat to Jennifer in passing.

When he was out of hearing, Hermione let out her pent-up breath. –I don’t know what I would’ve done if you hadn’t come to my rescue.”

–Embarrassed yourself and him in the process.”

–By telling the truth?” she argued half-heartedly.

–He doesn’t need to know the details of your family tree to pay a compliment. Why embarrass him for making an improper assumption?”

She gave him a long, appraising look. –Since when did you become so wise?”

People naturally gravitate to a traditional family unit, he’d learned as much during his adventures with his godson. Aloud, he volunteered, –Years of having to deal with unwanted attention, I suppose. Luckily Ron wasn’t here,” he teased. –He wouldn’t take to the notion of you two-timing him with his best mate.”

Hermione laughed as she swatted Harry playfully. Leaning over to stroke her sister’s downy black hair, she noted, –No one would ever conclude that Jennifer was Ron’s daughter, though.”

–Only because your parents also have brown hair. Just be glad you didn’t tell a complete stranger that we weren’t married.”

She clapped her hand over her mouth as she gave a nervous giggle. –You understood my babbling?”

Harry nodded. –Fortunately, that man was too far away. Otherwise, that would’ve just spawned a whole new series of questions.”

–He would’ve been too polite to pose them.”

–Which is actually worse, when you think about it. You would’ve tripped all over yourself trying to defend your honor and your little sister’s legitimacy in one long drawn out breath.”

Hermione’s cheeks colored just imagining the situation. –Thanks for saving me, then.”

Without thinking, he added, –Thank Merlin, your parents decided on resettling in a decidedly Muggle area, though. Had that stranger been a wizard, the Prophet’s headlines would be reading: HARRY POTTER CONFESSES TO LOVE CHILD. Your name wouldn’t even be mentioned until the bottom of the page.”

His irreverent chuckles were cut short when he noticed the stricken look of panic that had settled over Hermione’s features.

”I was just joking,” he apologized. –No one but your closest friends knows you’re here.”

–But out in the open like this! Who knows what manner of wildlife could be listening in?”

The image of Rita Skitter’s beetle Animagus still haunted Harry as well. –Reclusive Rita rarely writes for the Prophet anymore. She prefers to spread lies and innuendos in the guise of biographies these days. Always unauthorized, of course. Have you noticed all her subjects are dead and have little or no surviving relations?”

But Hermione wasn’t listening. –What would a reporter make of my gap year? That the real reason I took off was to hide a pregnancy! Oh, Harry…” she wailed miserably.

–Don’t go confusing yourself with Tonks, now,” he soothed. –Your sister would have to be the same age as Teddy for that to hold true.”

–A minor fact to those jackals.”

–Not so at this age. Niffer’s still trying to sit up and Teddy’s struggling with his first steps. People aren’t that gullible.”

–They’ll just say I made up the story about my parents moving to Australia, maybe even that I sought to keep them in the dark.”

Harry recognized the irrational gleam in her eyes from when they’d sat their OWL exams. Hermione’s panic was always inversely proportional to the number of hours she’d spent revising. He’d just have to appeal to her intellect, not that he’d had much luck so far.

–It’s not as bad as that. Your mum had the good sense to have Jennifer in a proper British hospital so there’s a clear record of her birth.”

–Those can still be forged,” Hermione argued doggedly.

–But it won’t have fake names on it as if they’d still been in Australia.”

–True.”

–And don’t Hogwarts official records still show your parents’ old address in London?”

She nodded.

–School letter for seventh year was sent care of the Burrow, wasn’t it?”

–But the Headmistress --”

–-- is the last person to cooperate with those scavengers.”

–Yes, but --”

–But what? You’re still convinced that a reporter is disguised as an earthworm even as we speak? What about a swarm of midges?”

She gave an uncertain laugh at his efforts. –A harried bumblebee flying from flower to flower, making notes in nectar.”

–See what I mean?” Harry mollified as he wrapped a comforting arm around her shoulders. –Besides, I have it on good authority that even the Daily Prophet double-checks all allegations of births and deaths quite thoroughly.”

–And you know this how?” she demanded. –I don’t trust anything those gossipmongers say!”

–From Minerva McGonagall herself,” he insisted.

He hadn’t really thought about it in years, but suddenly it was as if he was back in that deserted alcove, not far from the grassy quad where he’d felt the first thrill of riding a broomstick. Only on this day, his mood was quite different. On this grey afternoon when the very sky seemed to scowl down at him, Harry was finally giving into the anger that had been slowly burning in him since he’d returned to Hogwarts for his fifth year.

He ignored the sharp wind, even when it caused the brittle pages of the Daily Prophet to flutter like bats inside his book bag. Anyone else’s hands would’ve burned from the plummeting temperature, but the indignation he felt was like a fever in his veins. A bit of discomfort in his extremities was nothing compared to the turmoil in his soul.

Blocking the worst of the wind with his body, he tore another long strip of the newspaper and allowed it to hang like an ivory curl from his fingertips. His lips drew back in distaste as he moved his arm over the stone basin that had sparkled with lively water at the start of term. Now there was nothing but a thin layer of milky ice that stared blankly up at him. He released the scrap, but before it could catch the wind, he zapped it with a well-aimed Incendio spell. He narrowed his eyes in grim satisfaction as it careened across the ice like a smoking racecar intent on its own destruction.

Admittedly, it was not as gratifying as wrapping his hands around the neck of the loathsome reporter who was spreading lies about him, but it was infinitely better than sulking alone in his room. At least he was doing something -- even if it was basically an act of impotent rage.

The cry of angry crows against the leaden sky was nothing more than the sounds of Gryffindor Quidditch practice. Ginny and Ron would be there with their faces ruddy from the exertion, their eyes aglow with competitive spirit.

Even that had been taken away from him, Harry groused silently as he incinerated another batch of lies. Good thing the vile Toad Queen was occupied elsewhere or she might get her tongue singed when she reached for the next tender tidbit of news. That thought elicited a dry chuckle.

Growing more daring, he let the strips fly into the air, catching each one with a well-placed spell. The ashes floating down to line the stone basin were the antithesis of cleansing winter snow -- and it was fittingly so.

She’d crept up on him soundlessly. Or so it seemed in retrospect, knowing what he knew about her Animagus abilities. But with the start of the snowy season still a few weeks away, there were no telltale footprints. Her red tartan skirts had just contrasted sharply against the fading expanse of grass.

–Yes, yes,” Minerva McGonagall had urged him lowly. There was a distinct note of fear in her brisk voice that caught Harry’s attention. –You’ll be certain to impress Professor Flitwick with your wandwork, but this is really not the place to be practicing!”

Within seconds, she’d wrapped her woolen cloak around his thin windbreaker and was herding him up the nearest staircase. When they reached her office, she soundlessly closed the door behind them.

Harry braced himself for the punishment his Head of House was sure to mete out. After Umbridge’s chamber of horrors, he felt certain he could withstand McGonagall’s worst. Much to his surprise, she placed a flowered teapot in the middle of her desk and filled it with hot water from her wand.

–Just give it a few minutes to steep,” she cautioned. –I hope you like chamomile.” Another flick of her wand and a tray laden with milk, honey and lemon slid effortlessly next to the teapot. –Just let me know if there’s anything else you require.”

Not knowing quite what to make of her actions, Harry simply accepted the steaming mug and added a few thin slices of lemon. He had to admit that the aroma was soothing to his sinuses. He took a few tentative sips and his insides began to unclench.

–Feel better?” McGonagall asked as she perched on the corner of the desk.

–Yes, quite,” he muttered. –Professor, I….” Suddenly, he had no idea what to say.

–You’re lucky that Professor Umbridge prefers the view from the clock gallery,” she confided gravely.

He’d counted on that actually. He’d seen the old toad lording it over the students with Filch fawning at her side enough times to make note.

With a deep breath for courage, he made a new start of it. –I didn’t intend to draw any undue attention. Couldn’t seem to concentrate in the common room, so a bit of fresh air seemed just the thing.”

–And what would you have done if the flames had caught some dry leaves?” she posed over the rim of her teacup. Behind her square glasses, her eyes said he wasn’t fooling anyone.

–Practice my Aguamenti Charm?” he countered shamelessly.

She gave him a tight smile in response. –It’s a right shame you can’t work out your frustrations on the Quidditch pitch. Much less destructive that way.”

Unsure what to say, Harry concentrated on his tea instead.

–I know it must seem like the world is against you at times; but Harry, the Daily Prophet doesn’t speak for everyone. If it didn’t create a huge scandal from nothing, there would be no point in publishing anything other than the League standings.”

Harry gave a small laugh of appreciation. –Why does the Prophet always side with the Ministry, though?”

–My dear boy, I thought you would’ve worked that out by now.” At his puzzled expression, she elaborated, –Its staff can’t alienate the Ministry or where would they get the next day’s news?”

His words spilled out of their own accord, –So that gives them the right to spread filthy lies?”

–And you’re wondering why we try to instill quite the opposite at Hogwarts?” she ventured.

Not that he’d ever put his outrage into words but…. –Yeah, that’s got it right.” He laid the saucer down on the lip of the desk and eased his left hand out of sight. No need to have her commenting on his souvenir of detentions with Dolores.

–Would it surprise you to learn that just about everyone on staff discounts the Prophet’s claptrap in favor of the version you presented to Dumbledore? Yes, even Professor Snape -- despite his personal frustrations.”

–But Umbridge’s presence prevents you from speaking up,” he surmised.

–Essentially. If you don’t antagonize the viper in your midst, it’s more likely to slither away harmlessly.”

–Then why drag it out?” he decried. –Why doesn’t the Prophet just manufacture some spectacular Quidditch accident and claim that the Boy-Who-Lived-to-Sell-their-Bloody-Papers is no more? If I’m nothing more than a lone voice in the wilderness, why not squelch the truth once and for all?”

McGonagall issued a high, mirthless laugh. –I’ve no doubt it’s been bandied about in editorial meetings.”

–It’s not so amusing when it’s your life they’re toying with!”

–No, I suppose it isn’t.” She poured them both a second cup of tea before continuing, –But there’s only so far they can go. Matters of births and deaths have to be documented very rigorously. It’s the events in between that are malleable to their way of thinking.”

–What makes you so sure they have even a shred of scruples?” Harry demanded.

–Why the tale of Abraham Crescent, of course.”

–Never heard of the man.”

–I suppose you wouldn’t have, seeing as you’ve only been following Quidditch for the past few years. It was nearly ten years ago that he was recruited by the Liverpool Lynxes right out of school. Best Keeper I’d seen in all my days. Hufflepuff won the Quidditch Cup every year that he played for them. But like you, the press seemed to hound him mercilessly. Finally in desperation, he convinced his team to give him a few months sabbatical so he could get married and have a peaceful honeymoon. They put out the word that he’d been injured and was recovering at an undisclosed location, then assured the faithful that he’d be back for the start of the next season as good as ever.”

–Did the reporters disrupt his honeymoon?”

–No, but they didn’t buy the story that he’d been injured, either. Made it out that he’d defected to another team and the Lynxes were just too proud to admit it. Then it was that he’d retired permanently but the team was waiting to groom his replacement before they made an announcement. Each week it was a new rumor, each more fantastical than the one before -- and always there was some flack who was willing to be quoted as if he knew the ‘real’ story.”

–Sounds vaguely familiar,” Harry scowled.

–Then one day, one of their own fans decides to grab a bit of the limelight for himself. I always suspected there was some wild wager involved, but who knows? This gentleman managed to line himself up a personal interview as if he were a long, lost friend of the family and then announced in all seriousness that King Crescent had been tragically killed. Never would elaborate so as not to shock the man’s youngest fans. Nothing but a rotting dragon carcass, but the media ate it up.”

–Why didn’t the man’s family protest?”

McGonagall gave him a sad smile. –There was no one by then. The aging aunt who’d raised Crescent passed away not six months after he graduated.”

–But surely all the poor chap had to do was show up. Perhaps don a pair of angel wings if he really wanted to take advantage of the media furor.”

–One would certainly think so,” she harrumphed. –Only the public outcry was such that the Lynxes decided to recruit a new Keeper. Show him training with the team over the summer and then relegate him to the second string when Abe returned from his honeymoon. Only, it didn’t happen that way. The substitute Keeper hired himself a cutthroat solicitor who sued the Lynxes for violation of contract when they wanted to demote him. Won a huge settlement when the team owners had to buy out his contract in the end.

–Needless to say that despite Crescent’s brilliance, the team nearly went bankrupt. Or they would have, if they didn’t find themselves a wily attorney of their own to sue the Daily Prophet for substantiating rumors of Crescent’s death without having a shred of corroborating evidence. Which, of course, was true. But what was even more surprising was that the Wizengamot came down hard on the Prophet and they were forced to pay a hefty sum in damages.”

–So why haven’t I heard of the Liverpool Lynxes?”

–Litigation and Quidditch don’t mix. Their victory in the courtroom came at the expense of their game for the entire season that the deliberations persisted. In the end, Crescent took his chunk of the settlement and bought himself an Unplottable island somewhere.”

–Can’t say I blame him,” Harry muttered. –Any leads on where I could get one for myself?”

McGonagall gave him a long, appraising look. –Something tells me you’re not yet ready to turn your back on the world. If you were, their slings wouldn’t wound you so deeply.”

With abject humility, Harry allowed that McGonagall was right. Having thanked her for the wise counsel, he returned to the common room to find Fred and George were up to their ears in first and second years clamoring to be test subjects.

–Harry, mate, where have you been all afternoon?” Fred intoned as he draped a convivial arm over his shoulder.

–Don’t you want to channel all that unwanted media attention into something more productive?” George cooed in his ear. –How about we elevate you from investor to full-fledged partner?”

–Thanks for the vote of confidence,” Harry demurred. –But I’d prefer to remain a silent partner.”

–Suit yourself,” Fred allowed with just a hint of regret.

At the last minute, Harry gave into his curiosity. –Just one thing, how did you manage to round up so many volunteers without going bankrupt?”

–That’s where you have to learn what truly motivates people,” George confided.

–Not just a few sickles that are gone on next week’s butterbeer.”

–So we offered them something truly unique.”

–Something that wouldn’t tarnish with time --”

–-- yet didn’t strain our finances.”

With a satisfied smirk, Fred whispered so lowly Harry had to strain to hear, –We sold them on being a part of history. No one could ever steal from them the prestige of being among the first to pronounce our products sublime and inimitable.”

–And for those items that still need to be fine-tuned?” Harry pressed.

–They get more than one chance to snatch at immortality,” George promised.

–Why those two-timing little sneaks!” Hermione cried, effectively breaking into Harry’s recollection. –They stole that very idea from me!”

–Appropriated,” Harry corrected.

–Sure, take their side. Just because I told them to lay off the newbies who were too naïve to realize they were being victimized. When I warned those two that being a human laboratory rat was hardly the stuff of legend, I didn’t expect them to run with it!”

–Then it was probably you who were the naïve one,” Harry chuckled.

Hermione couldn’t help laughing out loud even as she admitted, –Probably so. Say, did you ever stop by McGonagall’s office for another chat? She often looked like she had need of a sympathetic ear herself, especially once Umbridge got her claws into everything.”

–Never got the chance really,” Harry admitted with a small shake of his fringe. –Arthur was attacked by Voldemort’s snake soon after and by the time we’d returned from Christmas hols, Snape’s Occulmency lessons took center stage.”

–All the more reason why Minerva might’ve been a soothing balm. You and Snape were like oil and vinegar.”

–Too true,” he agreed through the golden lenses of nostalgia. –But then Umbridge foisted her decree that teachers were forbidden to talk to students about anything other than classwork and it seemed such an unnecessary risk.” With a sigh of regret, he added, –I even meant to ask Tonks if she remembered Abe Crescent from Hufflepuff House, but never got the chance.”

So much lost to the unsympathetic ravages of time. Just think of those twelve years that Sirius languished unnecessarily in Azkaban. Why? So Cornelius Fudge could pat himself on the back for neatly tying up the aftermath of Voldemort’s first defeat. The blighter had ridden those coattails into high office, hadn’t he? It’s a wonder he wasn’t shameless enough to have his winter cloak lined with shaggy dog fur. But of course Fudge had been just as clueless about Sirius’ Animagus abilities as everything else…. Determined to consign his recriminations to when he was alone in his flat, Harry remained silent.

Luckily, he didn’t have to wait long for Hermione to steer the conversation in an unexpected direction. –Is it true what they’re saying about the Malfoys?”

–You know I’m not at liberty to discuss the case. What little I know of it, that is.”

–I know. At least tell me whether the Daily Prophet got its facts straight for once. Surely there’s no harm in that.”

With a curt nod, Harry elaborated, –They’ve been sentenced to house arrest.”

–Not much of a punishment, if you ask me. Was their palace left in that much disarray?”

–It was overrun by a horde of lawless infidels. What do you think?”

–That the Malfoy fortune will soon have it shining like an ostentatious jewel.”

Harry shook his head sadly. –Their financial situation may not be what you suppose.”

–The Prophet reports that Lucius had some savvy goblins tie up his estate into a nefarious knot.”

–Probably the only thing that kept Voldemort from killing the lot of them,” Harry acknowledged darkly. –There are many who see Draco’s assignment to kill Dumbledore as a suicide mission of sorts. Certainly, Narcissa did.”

–Which explains her hedging her bets with the Unbreakable Vow,” Hermione concurred.

–It wouldn’t have taken Voldemort long to determine that doing away with the Malfoys would not have worked to his advantage. Their fortune would’ve simply reverted to charity. Only by keeping them alive could he milk the estate little by little.”

–Doesn’t Lucius bear some responsibility for that? No one forced him to side with Voldemort in the first place.”

–Yet he contends he thought himself well rid of the madman the night my parents were killed.”

–And how does he explain away his attempt to ensnare you with Riddle’s foul diary?” Hermione scoffed. –Was he just trying to rid himself of unpleasant memories?”

–Not all of Voldemort’s followers knew the grand plan. The tyrant’s words as he called them to muster in the rank Riddle graveyard made it seem like a test of faith.”

–Megalomania and paranoia go hand in hand,” she mused. –If you ask me, Malfoy’s version of the truth has as many holes as a chunk of Swiss cheese. No, make that an entire cheese factory!”

Harry shrugged. –It’s also true that the three of them are turning state’s evidence, as the Muggle expression goes.”

–So the house arrest is only temporary?” Her voice rose in outrage. –While the remaining dark wizards are rooted out?”

–Likely so; but that could take months, even years. Kingsley believes we should try to avoid creating any more chasms. It’s not as if anyone could resign from the Death Eaters when their tactics became too extreme.”

–Regulus Black did.”

–And he died an unsung hero. He also didn’t have a wife and child to consider. Deride them all you like, but the Malfoys have always doted on Draco.”

–They forced him to become a Death Eater,” Hermione insisted.

–Not willingly. But defying the Dark Lord wasn’t exactly an option.”

–Ron would be appalled to hear you defending such perfidy! Are you listening to yourself, Harry?”

Very quietly, Harry supplied, –I owe my life to Narcissa Malfoy. Had she not confirmed that I was dead in that clearing, Voldemort would’ve finished the job with his next stroke.”

–I suppose you also testified that Draco didn’t really want to kill Dumbledore,” she groused.

–It’s the truth of what I saw.”

–You also saw Snape murder Dumbledore in cold blood. Impressions can be misleading.”

–Granted Snape was a master of subterfuge, but don’t over-estimate Draco. He was nothing more than a terrified schoolboy atop that Tower. His knees were knocking, no less.”

–I suppose we’ll never know the full story,” she relented with a heavy sigh. –But leaving the Malfoys to face their own conscience seems like they got off too easily.”

–It’s out of my hands,” Harry issued diplomatically. And Lucius will never again enjoy the same clout. Not after having been exposed as nothing more than a political opportunist to the world at large.

–I’m not doing a very good job of cheering you up,” Hermione conceded.

–Let’s change direction then,” Harry proposed. –Any ideas what you’re going to do after graduation? As Head Girl, I’d think the job offers would be pouring in.”

She gave a wry snort. –No royalty in the wizarding world, remember?”

–You don’t expect me to believe you haven’t had a single nibble.”

She shrugged self-consciously. –Nothing that seems right, is all. My parents think I’m being too picky.”

Harry didn’t have to ask what Ron would say. In his mind’s eye, the image of his best mate flashed a cheeky smirk. Bugger, Hermione, I’d think you’d jump at the chance that someone would actually pay you in return for a sampling of your half-baked notions.

She’d flash him a withering glance before retorting, At least, I have some ideas…

I have ideas.

Really? Name one.

Don’t be such a Negative Nelly. I’m always coming up with new product ideas for the joke shop.

A sophomoric endeavor, if ever there was one!

Yet, somehow it generates galleons. Peculiar the way life works, isn’t it? At this point, Ron would grace her with that lop-sided grin that always made her melt inside, even when she was doing her damnedest to stay angry.

Not that their arguments always got diffused so easily. Certainly not in the past, Harry recalled with a hint of fondness. But somehow in the last few months, Ron had actually made note of how Arthur pacified Molly and managed to adapt the technique for his own use.

Bollocks, you have a bad case of loneliness, mate, when you look back on their bickering with anything other than annoyance.

The flesh-and-blood Hermione on the bench beside him continued as if she hadn’t noticed Harry momentarily lost in thought, –When all’s said and done, my parents haven’t really come to terms with my not going to University. Tell the truth, I always saw myself there, even after I recognized the norms in the wizarding world were different.” After a moment of silence, she admitted lowly, –Somehow Amos Diggory has become a regular pen pal of sorts. Seems convinced I’m ideal material for the Magical Creatures Department.”

Recalling her misguided attempts at elf enlightenment, Harry commented, –Not your dream posting?”

–Not anymore. Still Amos seems intent on recruiting me to revamp the House-Elf Relocation Board.”

–He likes the way your mind works then?”

–Mmmm,” she considered. –Especially once I suggested that his department would be more approachable to house-elves if he hired one of their own to head up the board. He just wrote back asking if I had anyone in mind.”

Harry turned away from the image of Dobby’s over-eager features that seemed to be reflected in Hermione’s eyes.

She shook her head sadly before continuing, –At least I was able to propose Firenze for the post with the re-established Centaur Relations Office. I doubt the Headmistress will be pleased,” she issued with a gloomy sigh. –But Amos was so immensely thrilled he offered to create a special position just for me, something that would ideally showcase my abilities.”

–Pen pals indeed.”

–I didn’t know how to tell him that my heart just isn’t in it anymore.”

Harry indicated that he understood her unspoken words. Like any other war survivor, she found her world irrevocably diminished despite their victory. The ghosts of their fallen friends never wandered far.

Thinking it best to change the subject, Harry offered, –Has he considered Luna? Didn’t she always say that what werewolves needed most was a better public relations firm?”

–She was just pulling your leg……”

–Luna’s humor can be elusive, but I don’t think she was joking about that.”

–I think Luna’s looking beyond the Ministry. Perhaps a posting abroad.”

Recalling her avid letters while he’d been in Greece, Harry concluded that it was likely so.

–Dean’s keeping everything to himself, but I know for certain Neville got an offer from the Auror Department. Said they’d hire a whole bank of tutors to help him master Transfiguration, if that’s what it took.”

–You don’t think his gran would help? She’s in charge of the ruddy subject!”

She laughed at Harry’s feigned outrage. –Perhaps if she felt Neville’s heart was really in it. But you know how passionate he is about Herbology; practically sprouts leaves at the ears.”

If nothing else, the offer was a feather in Neville’s cap. Harry couldn’t imagine Augusta Longbottom still thought her grandson, a.k.a. the Serpent Slayer, had failed to live up to his father’s potential.

–You are aware Ron got an offer as well?” Hermione posed gingerly.

–Doesn’t surprise me. The Auror Department would be lucky to have him. Hoary hippogriffs, where would I be without him watching my back?”

–He’s more interested in the joke shop these days,” Hermione whispered. –Only don’t tell him I said so. Just laugh along if he makes the lame joke about being warned that there was no expectation of being assigned to partner one Harry James Potter.

–‘What ruddy killjoys!’ he always adds. ‘As if I’d be tempted to accept their sodding offer on those terms.’

–To which I commiseration that it’s not a very enticing offer at that. ‘I told you all that rule-breaking would have consequences.’”

–That’s rich, coming from the third trouble-maker herself!” Harry interjected.

–I was like Remus,” she shot back. –Always trying to unsuccessfully rein in my reckless cohorts.”

There was no point in trying to convince her otherwise, Harry decided. Hermione was not one to let reality mar her revisionist notions unless it was absolutely necessary -- and never without a fight.

In the distance, an ice cream vendor’s bell reminded his stomach that he’d left without much breakfast that morning. –What time did you tell Ron?”

–Half eleven or so. We’ll probably run into him when we go back for Niffer’s next feeding.”

Harry noted that the infant seemed to be having too much fun to remember her schedule; but that could change in an instant as he’d learned with Teddy.

With a glance at the sun, Hermione pronounced, –Ron’s probably splitting the last sticky bun with Dad even as we speak. Oh, Harry, I can’t believe I was so rude to not offer you the same!”

–Don’t give it a thought. I’d never manage to work up an appetite for lunch if you crammed me full of sweets not an hour beforehand.”

–Ron doesn’t seem to have that problem,” she noted dryly.

–Nor does your dad.”

–Partners in crime, I tell you. Mum gives Dad this reproachful look -- which he feels free to ignore in front of guests. Gives him a chance to gauge Ron’s reaction to the latest foray among the Muggle hordes. They’re constantly pressing us to enjoy their tickets so they can stay home with Niffer.”

–Somehow I can’t see Ron at the opera,” Harry snorted.

–Don’t remind me!” Hermione tittered. –Said that if he wanted to see buffoons singing their own praises, he’d go to a Malfoy family reunion. All that overwrought brocade would fit right in, too!”

–He’s right, you know,” Harry reminded her in an undertone.

–I know. Even not speaking a word of Italian, he was able to figure that out.”

–So I suppose musical comedy is out.”

Hermione nodded. –Mentioned that the leading man would have more success if he just kissed the girl instead of trying to impress her with his vocal range.”

Harry chuckled in appreciation. –Perhaps comedy without the music.”

–Took him to a drawing room farce but I don’t think he felt comfortable stepping into some stranger’s flat unannounced. Not to mention that the tall, sarcastic actor was so much like a certain Potions Master it was downright unnerving. So I suggested to Ron that he just imagine Snape turning on the Slytherins for once or insulting Wormtail in that dreary house at Spinner’s End.”

–Did that help?”

–For a while. He was certainly laughing at all the appropriate moments. But you know how those things are: the combatants realize that their barbs are nothing but elaborate foreplay and they kiss passionately just as the curtain falls. By his look of utter revulsion, I don’t think Ron could get the image of Snape in a clinch with Wormtail out of his head!”

–Tell me you had enough sense not to take him to the ballet.”

–I resisted as long as I could, but then Mum pressed the tickets right into his hand and insisted that she and Dad would pay for a nice dinner beforehand.”

–Ron can’t resist the allure of a thick, juicy steak.”

–I prepared him by saying that the dancers frequented the same tailor as Gilderoy Lockhart.”

–And?”

–All the bowing and curtseying in the wedding scene of Sleeping Beauty reminded him of a poorly trained bunch of hippogriffs. I thought he might enjoy the athleticism of the men’s leaps, but he noted that if they were so intent on leaving the ground, they’d be better served with broomsticks. Or faerie wings!”

Harry clutched his side with laughter. Finally, he was able to wheeze, –You did tell him --”

–Yes. He knows about the Muggle slang -- now, anyway.”

–Capitalize on his interest in animal acts by taking him to the circus,” Harry suggested. –I could even bring Teddy along to see that clowns, too, have wildly colored hair.”

Hermione gave him a put upon look. –And just what am I going to do when he yells to the burly trapeze artist that if he wants to fly, he should quaff some Polyjuice Potion to grow wings? Just my luck, the lithe lion tamer would deck Ron for insulting his life partner!”

Harry barely kept from sliding off the bench as she dissolved into gales of laughter against his shoulder. Merlin, it felt good to laugh again!

Not wanting the moment to end, Harry suggested, –I suppose the ice skating exhibition is out then?”

–Epileptic thestrals on a frozen pond!” she shot back merrily.

–Do wizards suffer from epilepsy?” he wondered.

–Apparently so.”

–Please tell me he doesn’t share his unblemished opinion with your parents,” Harry hoped.

She shook her shoulder length curls emphatically. –No, he always manages to strike the right note of enthusiasm and awe. I’m the one who can’t keep a straight face as I think back on his words.”

–He is rather funny.”

Her lips curled with affection. –Perhaps just a little bit.”

–Face it, Hermione, you’re just a closet rebel.”

She gave a helpless giggle. –Perhaps he just hasn’t found the right thing.”

–What about other wizards then? Surely they don’t all stay holed up in their homes and listen to Celestina Warbeck on the wireless.”

–I doubt the Weasleys ever had the extra galleons to spend on cultural events,” Hermione surmised. –Do you think Ron might like the more…macabre sights? Judging by the tourist throngs there must be something about the more violent aspects of our history --”

–Unless Ron’s expressed a desire to visit Buckingham Palace, I doubt that the Muggle monarchy concerns a modern-day wizard.”

–You mean now that witches and wizards are no longer being systematically burned at the stake,” she issued matter-of-factly.

–The Tower of London reminds me too much of the Astronomy Tower,” Harry confessed.

–Agreed. And the wax museum would just be a long string of inside jokes to someone like Ron.”

Harry recoiled at the memory of waxen faces floating just beneath the surface of that wretched underground lake. Aloud, he cautioned, –Ron would think he was being attacked by an army of Inferi. One defensive Flagrate spell and the whole building would go up in a ball of fire.”

–Good point. Dumbledore once mentioned attending a Gilbert and Sullivan production in his youth. Said he was friends with a number of the cast members.”

Obviously, Hermione’s conversations with the Headmaster had been completely different than his own, Harry noted inwardly.

–And McGonagall said she still liked the Bard,” Hermione recalled. –Even if that made her a stodgy traditionalist.”

–Ron would never sit still while a bunch of self-important actors spoke mainly to the audience instead of one another.”

Adopting an exaggerated pose, Hermione parodied, –He’d say: ‘They are but a pale imitation of the Slug Club, forthwith.’”

Her breathy stage voice had Harry in stitches as even little Jennifer tried to join in with their merriment.

–Don’t forget the bloke who offers to trade his kingdom for a horse!” he guffawed. –That would only remind him of Hagrid’s more questionable acquisitions such as Fluffy.”

–And Norbert. I mean, Norberta.”

–Do you think Ron might share Fluffy’s love of music?” Harry dared.

–Likely so,” she admitted. –But I had enough sense to phrase it differently when I mentioned the symphony tickets.”

–He was able to sit still through that?”

–Not exactly. I think he expected it to be more like the Yule Ball since it was the first time since Bill’s wedding that I wore a party dress. He whispered that soft music was only good for two things: dozing off or snogging.”

–Right there in the middle of everyone?” Ron was definitely becoming more self-assured around Hermione.

–No, of course not. Neither one!” she clarified with a hint of embarrassment. –But during the intermission, he led me into the little courtyard right off the lobby. We were still finishing our drinks, see. When I heard the instruments tuning, I made to duck back inside. Only he caught my wrist and reminded me that chugging bubbly would just make me burp at the worst possible moment.”

–Sounds like Ron’s speaking from personal experience,” Harry chuckled.

–So we lingered a bit longer and it was ever so pleasant being alone in the moonlight. He managed a variation of the Sonorous Charm that made the strains of the orchestra drift out to serenade us.” Hermione blushed as she finished, –So we danced on the terrace during the second act. Mostly, it was just hugging one another and swaying to the music, but it was so much nicer than just sitting in one place.”

–Sounds rather romantic,” Harry observed.

She blushed even more deeply. –It was. This one couple offered us their tickets if we wanted to go back inside, but we assured them we had the best of both worlds.”

At the crunch of gravel behind him, Harry turned to witness the dreamy expression that had come over Ron’s face as he recalled the scene as vividly as Hermione had done.

–Didn’t see you there, mate. Been standing there long?” Harry returned as innocently as possible.

–Long enough to know that at least I didn’t show myself to be a total git at the symphony,” Ron issued with a self-deprecating laugh. –Please tell me you didn’t invite Harry to join us for another cultural event.”

–And if I did?” Hermione countered as she took the bottle of formula Ron handed to her and expertly positioned it for her little sister.

Jennifer’s tiny hands took control of the situation almost immediately as she greedily savored her milk while keeping a close watch on the faces around her.

–Just promise me we’re not going to the art museum,” Ron groused. –The portions at the café are tasty, but much too small.”

–You said you didn’t care for stationary pictures,” Hermione reminded him.

Ron shrugged, –The mummies weren’t too bad; who’d want to see those dancing a jig anyway? Just promise me we won’t go to the Nightmare Gallery.”

Harry share a quizzical look with Hermione. –Can’t say I’ve been to that one myself, Ron.”

–Why would you?” Ron moaned. –The giant sculpture of Aragog is enough to put anyone off.”

–He means the Tate Modern,” Hermione explained with dawning realization. –Not even the queue of brave Muggle children walking beneath its bronze carapace would convince him.”

–They’d think differently if they’d ever met the beast!” Ron maintained.

–Well, you don’t have to worry,” Hermione relented as she turned the pram around to walk back to the house. –I’ve settled on going to a pizza place for lunch and then to the cinema.”

Ron’s eyes lit up at the prospect. –That’s the telly-box that takes up an entire wall.”

–Imagine an entire side of a room that’s as big as the Great Hall,” Harry elaborated. –Have you selected the movie yet?”

Hermione nodded happily. –Indiana Jones. Dad recommended it. It’s one of his faves.”

Ron nodded eagerly, but Harry couldn’t help but ask, –Err, Hermione, which Indiana Jones? There’s been at least three that I can recall.”

She stopped to think for a moment as they waited to cross the street. –The one with the Nazis.”

–That narrows it down to two,” Harry pointed out.

–You’ll just have to be surprised then,” she replied in an airy tone.

Ron was going to say that a wand was superior to a whip for summoning items, Harry considered silently. But he’d be ready for that. He’d just point out that you couldn’t use a wand to swing over a gaping chasm. Not to mention that with Hitler’s well-documented obsession with the occult, old Indy would’ve found himself before a tribunal more heinous than Umbridge’s Muggle-born Registration Committee.

Their steps took on a jaunty air that they had all but abandoned in the last few years. It was so good to be part of a trio again, Harry decided. Even if Ron and Hermione were technically a couple, they never made him feel as if he was playing the gooseberry. Merlin, he loved them both for that!

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