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Chocolate Frog by L A Moody

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Disclaimer: With humble gratitude to J. K. Rowling for allowing me to build castles in her sandbox once more.




Thirty - Four
Remus: Where Angels Fear to Tread




At first it was difficult to distinguish the different shades of black. The sound of the crashing waves drew his attention and he was soon able to make out the contrast of the churning surf against the ebony rocks.

At the barest hint of movement, he started even though he knew he wasn’t alone.

–Don’t be led blindly towards the ocean,” Snape observed lowly. –There’s a sheer drop that’s lured many curiosity-seekers to an untimely death.”

–Then they deserved it for being stupid enough to venture forth in the dead of night,” Remus grumbled. Such a calamity would surely slow them down. Couldn’t Snape have found a night with some slice of moon to light their way?

–We went over this before, Lupin. Were you asleep?”

–Of course not! The reality is just different.”

–Reality is always different. A sure fact of life that I assumed you’d learned by now.”

Despite Snape’s sullen tone, Remus had to agree the man was essentially correct. Just as Remus recalled Dumbledore’s warning that the tide hid the cave mouth by day -- a precaution to keep the living from a treacherous one-way journey. Only in the blackest night could its phosphorescence be seen by those who knew about the narrow cliff side path.

Should he argue that two lit wand tips might easily be discounted as harmless fireflies dancing in the night breeze? It could also lead Muggles to investigate. Just because their physical forms remained at the ultraviolet end of the light spectrum didn’t mean their magic did. Normal rules no longer applied and the penalties for violating the unwritten dictums of this new realm could be severe. Or so Dumbledore had warned them with a wry grimace.

His sharp ears detected the crunch of gravel underneath Snape’s boots so he followed that as much as anything else. The other man stopped abruptly and Remus barely kept himself from colliding with his back. Before he had time to form a question, his nostrils flared at the change in the air. An underlying scent like a badly scorched cauldron mingled with the damp sea air.

–We’re definitely close,” Snape affirmed so softly that anyone else might have missed it.

–Will we be able to see the cave mouth from here?”

–The merman seemed to think not; but he wouldn’t have been able to swim this far, not even in a gale.”

–Tell me again what he said,” Remus insisted. –His name was Venuvius, right?”

–If I’d known your memory was like a sieve, I would’ve invited someone more adept at taking notes!”

–I’d suggest one of those scandal-mongers from the Daily Prophet with their libelous, floating quills… But it’s too soon in our journey to encounter any of them.”

Snape harrumphed at Remus’ attempt at humor. –Fine,” he relented with a dour look. –It will help to pinpoint any logistical errors if I give voice to the rambling instructions he gave. Oceanus is the strip of water that encircles the landmasses. That means the oceans in general since the ancient Greeks had not yet conceived of a spherical globe. Once past the Pillars of Hercules -- Gibraltar to us -- we search Portugal’s coast for this one unique cave. Its underwater spring leads directly to the Underworld.”

–Haven’t the locals noticed anything out of the ordinary themselves?”

–How would I know? I don’t speak Portuguese!”

Remus rolled his eyes in contempt. –Sarcasm is not useful information, regardless that it gives reason to your continued existence.”

Snape went on as if he hadn’t heard. –Shifting tides and unpredictable undercurrents keep the locals away. Merpeople as well, but Venuvius remembers the tales that have been handed down from generation to generation of his kind.”

–I would think so. By his long beard, I would’ve thought him much older than Albus.”

–He is. He was already nearing the end of his days when he befriended the twenty-something Dumbledore.”

–Have to admit he looked like the embodiment of Poseidon I’ve seen in books.”

Snape huffed derisively. –An artist’s interpretation based upon layering one myth upon another.”

–So find the entrance and follow the river to its source,” Remus summarized.

–Essentially. The waterways seem to crisscross around our objective. Multiple routes will get us there.”

–What about escape routes?”

Snape shrugged, –We backtrack. Paddle against the current. One of the reasons that we’ll be going by boat.”

–Did Dumbledore think to ask the merman that point blank?”

–Probably not, but my grasp on mermish is on par with yours.”

–Non-existent,” Remus concurred dryly.

Their eyes had adjusted enough to the gloom that the navy night sky was distinguishable from other obstacles. The tumbled blocks of impenetrable black surrounding them were the solid objects such as shrubs, boulders, and the escarpment itself. Approximately thirty yards below, the sea frothed ceaselessly against the vertical cliff.

–Wasn’t there supposed to be a beach of some sort?” Remus mused.

–No more than a small crescent,” Snape confirmed. –And only at low tide.”

The only option was to wait for the inexorable pull of the new moon. How utterly ironic, Remus considered inwardly. He was beginning to think Severus was right to declare Fate a fickle bitch.

After a few attempts at conversation, Snape cut him off with, –Do save me the philosophical drivel. To me, Camus is a quintessential bore; can’t see how you stomach his wretched company.”

Remus camouflaged a snort of laughter by taking a long swallow from his waterskin. Without a doubt, Severus held the same pessimistic worldview. No wonder he found Camus’ tenets nothing but a tired rehash.

Never had the minutes ticked by so slowly. Without the moon slowly inching its way across the sky, time could just as easily have stood still. Never one to fidget, Remus occupied himself with cataloguing the vague constellations visible through the thin clouds. At his side, Snape showed no more life than a statute.

A muffled splash was the first indication that the receding ocean had left lagoon-sized pools in its wake. Remus barely made out a silvery tail as it crested the suddenly calm waters.

–Bloody mermen and their night-adapted vision!” Snape sneered. –I’ll never pick my way through this graveyard of a trail.”

–I might be able to help,” Remus volunteered, hoping that the nocturnal glow in his eyes would not be too pronounced. Crouching down, he examined the waving sea grass that tufted like hair between the granite slabs. After a few moments, he pointed to a minimally darker patch in the distance. –The trail begins there.”

With lupine grace, he bounded down a few yards to where there was a wicked switchback turn. –You’ll have to squeeze in between these two stones; and then in the distance, that grayish smudge is what passes for a beach.”

–Must be volcanic sand,” Snape nodded as he followed in close proximity.

The soft beach sand ended at a rock fall just as they had expected. Up close, the boulders were much more imposing, rising to shoulder height and above.

–I doubt we can just scamper over this,” Snape mumbled.

–Don’t think of Apparating as you might land head first in a whirlpool,” Remus counseled. –Mythology is ripe with those.”

–Probably as a metaphor for their convoluted thinking,” Snape groused even as he heeded the precaution. –Have you another suggestion?”

–With the tide out, perhaps the water is shallow enough that we can just walk around.”

This was indeed the case even though the sea was icy cold as it soaked through Remus’ trousers. A quick drying charm left the fabric sticky and stiff with salt.

–Didn’t you think to impose an Impervious Charm?” Snape scowled. His knee boots looked as dry as ever save for the milky residue that marred the polished leather.

There was no point in retorting, Remus concluded. With a moment’s thought, he transformed his clothing into thick canvas trousers like those worn by Greek fisherman and Wellington boots.

–Suit yourself,” Snape countered. –Just as long as it’s not sequins.”

Before them lay another, darker stretch of land which ended in an irregular lump rather like the shell of a monstrous tortoise. An unearthly sulfurous glow marked the cave opening.

–Not exactly welcoming, is it?” Remus harped nervously.

–Precisely the point, although cave phosphorescence is hardly a rarity in these parts.”

As they drew nearer, the color deepened to the same lime green as the Dark Mark. Remus barely suppressed a shiver of apprehension as he focused, instead, on his companion’s face.

–Didn’t Albus say something about a boat?”

–Cleverly hidden,” Snape confirmed.

In the inky black of a moonless night, the man's hands were white spiders floating over the irregular avalanche. At last, Snape announced success as he drew forth a rope attached to a small flat-bottomed boat. Instead of oars, long poles were provided to guide it gondolier-style.

Ideally suited for a stealthy approach, Remus approved to himself.

Even with their combined strength, getting the pontoon boat to the water’s edge proved more difficult that either of them expected. Not because the boat was that heavy, but because its shape keep shifting beneath their fingers.

–Will you decide how this ruddy contraption looks in your mind, Lupin! Your indecision is giving me a headache.”

–Forgive me, I keep forgetting that my thoughts can bend objects to my will in this dimension. If I could just see what it looks like in detail, I could fix it better in my mind.”

–Fine. Think of Cleopatra floating down the Nile as she luxuriates on her raft.”

At Snape’s words, the outline of the dragon’s head in the prow smoothened into a more stylized shape. The hull narrowed in width as its length extended proportionately.

–If you make a remark about having to draw me an effing picture, I’ll hex you for certain,” Remus warned.

–Would I do a thing like that?” Severus smirked.

–Seems sound enough,” Remus confirmed as he finally got a good look at the polished hull. One of the long poles ended in a smooth paddle that could be used as a rudder when floating downstream. –Does this thing have a name?”

–The Lily, of course.” Severus pointed towards the golden letters on the hull.

–Check again,” Remus argued. –Too many letters for ‘lily’.”

–The River Lily, then.”

The golden letters reshuffled themselves briefly; but seconds later, returned as before.

Remus issued a wry laugh. –Seems as if the boat has other ideas.”

–A wooden boat has no brain. No, not even in this existential existence of ours.”

–See for yourself then.”

Remus took a few steps back to allow the other man to draw near.

Snape bent at the waist until his nose was inches away from the gilded letters. He frowned and pronounced with finality, –The. River. Lily.”

Just as before, the letters heeded his words -- then thought better of it and realigned themselves.

–Bloody, interfering old man!” Snape spat. –This is Dumbledore’s doing.”

–Likely so,” Remus chuckled softly.

–We’re stuck with the Lily-Dora then. I would’ve preferred ‘Golden Lily’ but Albus always has to indulge his artistic side.”

Remus held his tongue. ‘Lily-Dorée’ was golden lily. This contraction was something altogether different. Likely Dumbledore’s not too subtle reminder that this was a coordinated effort between the two of them.

Snape forgot his vexation as the boat took to the shallow water with ease. Remus gave it one last push before jumping aboard himself. Once clear of the murky tidal pools, it was a simple matter to steer towards the cave mouth.

As they drew nearer, however, it became apparent that this was no ordinary opening for an underwater spring. Instead of the water pouring out into the ocean, the glowing green beast swallowed the ocean in giant gulps. Easing the boat into the current, it silently slipped past the mouth and between walls which pulsed with menace.

–Past the cave mouth, nothing,” Remus issued in a terse whisper as he pointed to Severus’ empty waterskin. –Not even if you fill it yourself with an Aguamenti charm.”

–I’m not an idiot, Lupin! Neither one of us even needs food or drink in our current condition.”

–The sound of the water will make you feel thirsty regardless.”

–Which is why my tissues are so saturated that I feel like a ruddy wet leaf. Is it your intent that I simply float downstream on my back?”

A bend in the river and the last patch of earthly sky slipped away. Snape took that as a sign to light a lantern to hang on the prow. Instantly, the fingers of darkness receded, but the shadows rocking against the cavern walls crouched in wait for a moment of inattention. Remus reminded himself to concentrate on the golden path which lay before them.

A noxious odor assaulted his nostrils as jets of purple gas spewed in the distance. Forget a badly brewed potion, this was a rotting animal carcass that had been put to the flame.

Reading the disgusted look on his face, Snape volunteered, –Sulphurous gases. Mostly nonflammable, but it's best if we keep the lantern out of the direct blast.”

Remus fished a handkerchief out of his pocket and covered his nose. –That’s one foul stench!”

–Don’t worry, your scent receptors will tune it out within the quarter hour. Long before the true reek of brimstone kicks in.”

–Brimstone?”

–Flaming sulphur,” Snape clarified. –An overly dramatic touch that seems to have endured in all manner of human mythology.”

Taking in Remus’ horrified expression, he added, –Don’t go imagining a red goat-man with a forked tail stirring a cauldron, now. We’ve both been here long enough to know how the rules work.”

Good advice despite the caustic delivery, Remus allowed silently.

In a low voice, Snape counseled, –We’re entering the lair of liars and tricksters who will exploit any weaknesses we give them.”

React, don’t embellish, Dumbledore’s stern advice reverberated inside Remus’ skull. Such were the immutable laws of the metaphysical realm. Without a doubt, his own brain could craft the most diabolical trap of all.

Still, it didn’t take much to envision the winding caverns as nothing but a gigantic windpipe leading to some leviathan’s stomach. If it hadn’t been that difficult to penetrate the Underworld’s shields perhaps that was an omen that it was intended to be a one-way journey. They had to be prepared for whatever obstacles they encountered on the way out.

Think of the veins and arteries that lead to and from the heart, Remus told himself. That was just as valid a metaphor. But could Mephistopheles, Satan, or any other demonic incarnation, possess a heart?

With an enormous effort of will, Remus clamped a lid on his imagination. If only he could be as unruffled as Severus always seemed to be.

But despite his best efforts, Remus’ traitorous mind reacted to the sultry environment. At the softest caress of air across his bare chest and shoulders, he intensified his concentration. In seconds, he’d re-established the utilitarian canvas shirt he’d been wearing previously.

He found Snape’s fathomless eyes fixed upon him but ignored the uncomfortable sensation. Instead, he concentrated on the silken sensation of the water gliding past.

–You have an aptitude for Occlumency,” Snape remarked.

Remus gave a curt nod. –Dumbledore said much the same thing.” Too much practice keeping things to himself, even at a young age.

–He gave you lessons at school?”

–Once was enough,” Remus admitted. He was not about to confess to the feeling of violation. Or how close he’d come to vomiting at the time.

As if sensing his discomfort, Snape returned, –Dumbledore has a very gentle touch.”

Unsure what to say, Remus remained silent.

–I find that a more invasive approach achieves faster results,” Snape observed in a clinical manner. –Forcing the subject to defend himself instinctively.”

Remus willed the topic to die a natural death as he steered the boat in silence. The soft lapping of the water was relaxing, even if the bobbing lantern threw strange patterns against the rough walls.

Unexpectedly, Snape inquired, –The jagged scar along your right shoulder blade…was it from --”

–Yes.”

–How old were you at the time?”

–Five.”

With surprising delicacy, Snape offered, –Such horrors thrust upon you at so young an age… Your back was turned to me and I couldn’t help… I shouldn’t have been so intrusive.”

Remus shrugged to show it was of no consequence.

–Is that why you avoided the Prefects’ bathroom at school?” Snape’s dark eyebrow arched in query.

With a low chuckle, Remus rejoined, –Hardly. Sirius offered to smuggle in my girlfriend at the time -- and you couldn’t very well say ‘no’ to Sirius.”

–In other words, the reprobate would do what he pleased anyway.”

–Precisely. I had no illusions that the password alone would keep him away. Unless it was strictly Unplottable, that map of ours could circumvent an ordinary password. I didn’t want to take any chances. Not with this.”

With sudden clarity, Snape surmised, –She didn’t know.”

Remus shook his head to the negative. –None of my girlfriends did.”

–So how did you manage the communal shower in Gryffindor Tower?”

–Dumbledore took care of that. Spread the word that I’d had a near fatal broom accident as a young child. Said I could use it as an excuse to avoid trying out for the House team.”

–Or as a motivating factor to overcome your personal demons,” Snape finished with a knowing curl of his lip. –I’m familiar with Dumbledore’s devious methods. You could’ve used the same line with your girlfriends.”

–Maybe, but delicate fingers might give rise to other questions that a glance across a room full of other boys didn’t. Either way, I never could relax in the Prefects’ bathtub after that.”

Another blind turn in the riverbed and the current gathered speed. Clearly, they were headed deeper underground as the pitted limestone walls gave way to coarse granite. In the low light, the mica particles imbedded in the stone winked seductively at the intruders.

Much to Remus’ surprise, Snape volunteered, –I often had to contend with a pattern of welts across my back, especially when returning to school after term breaks. Dumbledore suggested I say a horse threw me against the wire fencing.”

–I didn’t know you rode.”

–I didn’t, but it was just the sort of thing a Slytherin would’ve accepted wholeheartedly. Albus even offered to find me a worn polo mallet in the games room.”

–I don’t recall that at all,” Remus confessed.

–Never did it, that’s why. Dared the other Slytherins who stared in the shower to say something, but of course they never did. Lots of other skeletons in those closets, I warrant.”

Up ahead, the ebony ribbon split into four tributaries. Only by digging the shaft of the steering pole forcibly into the sandy river bottom was Remus able to keep the skiff from being swept away into the rightmost branch.

–Not that way,” Snape pronounced. –That’s the River of Lamentation. Just out of sight is a sharp waterfall that will smash the boat to bits. Of that Venuvius was absolutely certain.”

–How exactly did the merman come by this knowledge? Forgive my skepticism.”

Snape waved off Remus’ protestations. –Flotsam is carried by underground currents to emerge elsewhere.”

Remus’ eyes frantically scanned the other three branches. Each looked as dark and foreboding as its neighbors. –Did he happen -- ”

–He said to trust the map I was born with,” was the enigmatic reply. At Remus’ blank look, Snape turned his palm face up so that the weak light intensified the creases.

Not daring to release the pole that was holding them in place, Remus peered closely at the lines. –No four-way juncture,” he noted.

–It will serve nonetheless. See how two branches start from the edge? Those represent the middle two waterways.”

–And the one on the left?”

–Notice the silvery mist? That way is Lethe, the River of Oblivion. We’ll be trapped by forgetting why we came.”

–Or who we are.” If anyone would know how to invade the demon’s lair and then emerge on the other side, it would be Snape. Mustering up an encouraging smile, Remus inquired, –Does your hand-map also show you the way out?”

–It’s intended to be a one-way journey. At least for most. I’ve made a study of those few who were able to escape. All had special talents and prowess that we do not.”

–But they were all still tied to the land of the living, weren’t they?”

–Therein lies our sole advantage. Don’t look so horrified, Lupin! Dumbledore made sure we also brought our own version of an enchanted weapon.” Snape pulled a tiny metallic box from his pocket.

Remus almost moaned aloud. –The gadget that swallows light? In a place of shadows and endless night? No doubt about it, Severus, no one will be expecting us to carry this!”

–Save your sarcasm for someone who appreciates it. The trinket is called a Deluminator, true. But that hides its other attribute: it can also be used as a homing device.” With a low growl, he added, –How else do you think that gormless Weasley pup convinced the others to take his carcass back? He deserted them in the middle of the stinking woods, or did no one fill you in?”

Bill had confided as much to Remus when they convened for the first Potterwatch broadcast after the most dismal Yuletide in history. Aloud, he countered, –If Dumbledore left it to Ron in his will, then how do you have it now?”

–This is a newly-fashioned gadget. Gold on the outside, not silver. Flamel’s talent for alchemy added a few improvements.”

Up ahead, the river branched again. With ultimate certitude, Snape directed them to the right. The left branch would join up with another stream that he was certain was none other than the Lethe circling back.

As soon as the juncture faded from sight behind them, the mist in the distance took on a red, feral glow.

–We may be nearing the end of our journey,” Snape’s low hiss reverberated more profoundly than before.

–We haven’t circled back to the River of Fire?” Remus stammered as the sparkling granite intensified the glow until it was positively malevolent.

Snape shook his head. –Flames would dance yellow and gold among the red. This is something else. Best we not announce ourselves too soon, though.”

A click of the Deluminator swallowed the ball of light from their prow. Like a deadly water snake, the boat glided forward on the silent current.

Much to their relief, the low light allowed them to distinguish their surroundings more clearly. The red was nothing but a steady pinpoint of light in the distance, not restless like fire. Closer still and the silhouette of a structure could be discerned. Soon that too resolved itself into a rickety dock.

Try as they might, the skiff would not come within mooring distance of the pilings. Nor would it allow them to navigate the wide expanse of river that separated them from a rugged cove. Despite the swiftly flowing water, their boat had been caught as surely as if glued fast to the bottom.

–There’s no alternative,” Snape grumbled under his breath. –We’ll have to confront the ferry captain.”

As if heeding the words, their boat turned sharply towards the right riverbank and no attempts by Remus could convince it otherwise. With a sound like slithering serpents, it beached itself on the silt-covered bank and would not budge.

With one last look at the noble Lily-Dora, Remus caught up to Severus who was already halfway up the dock ladder. Within moments, they both stood looking out on the vast, inhospitable landscape of the opposite shore. A tall volcano spewed orange lava as lightning flashed in the distance. The sky was a sickly, xanthic yellow against a stark desert plain. It defied logic that this vista was wholly underground.

At the end of the dock, a boat carved in the shape of a giant thestral waited patiently. The hooded figure of the captain sat woodenly with his back to them.

On silent feet they approached. Snape reached out a skeletal hand to tap the captain on the shoulder only to find that the black fabric dissolved into smoking tatters at his touch.

–Not quite what you expected, eh?” a whiny voice at their elbow make them both start like guilty schoolboys.

Staring up at them were the pinched features of Peter Pettigrew. His yellow teeth shone in a rictus of a smile. –Why, Severus, we all expected to see you here sooner,” he oozed.

–And I expected to die at age ninety-nine alone in my bed,” Snape drawled contemptuously. –Seems we were both wrong.”

Turning his rheumy eyes towards Remus, Pettigrew intoned, –My most loyal friend, come to visit his old school chum. Always knew you weren’t the type of hold a grudge.”

–Think again, Peter,” Remus issued through ashen lips.

–Of course you’ve been too busy with your young bride. Half your age, isn’t she? I would’ve at least expected a wedding invitation.”

–It was a very private ceremony. Her parents were the only guests.”

–Ah, yes, keeping a low profile in a time of war. How could I be so thoughtless?” Pettigrew simpered.

Snape shared a grimace of disgust with Remus. –Sorry you didn’t curse him in the Shrieking Shack, I warrant.”

–Such manners, Severus,” Pettigrew admonished. –Even the werewolf is more of a gentleman than you.”

–Lupin’s gallantry is legendary,” Snape shot back. –I prefer to go for the jugular. Especially on sniveling, little rats like you.”

Pettigrew folded his arms across his chest with a huff. It was difficult not to stare at the stump that was bandaged with filthy rags. –Not a very effective way to gain my cooperation.”

–What’s the toll then?” Snape inquired. –A Galleon? An oblous? I’ve brought various coinage.”

–And what would either buy me here?” Pettigrew decried. –I want only that which is in short supply among these dodgy types: civility.”

With sudden inspiration, Remus rubbed a coin against the wand he’d secreted in the seam of his trousers. –How about a rare Cronus coin? Didn’t you once hunger for one to add to your collection?”

–If only I still had my hobbies to keep me company,” Pettigrew whined. –But I won’t turn down a gift which is nobly offered, Remus.”

Snape made as if to follow Remus aboard only to have his way barred by a wicked looking axe. –We haven’t struck a bargain for your passage,” cautioned Pettigrew.

–Would you have me give you the shirt off my back?” Snape grumbled.

–Black makes me look peaked. Thanks anyway.”

Behind Wormtail’s back, Remus caught Snape’s frustrated look. In response, he pantomimed rubbing his waist.

A brief flash of understanding shone in Snape’s dark eyes before he directed a predatory smile at Pettigrew. –How about my waterskin? Your throat must get very dry in this sweltering climate.”

Pettigrew’s eyes gleamed with avarice as he clenched and unclenched his remaining hand. –Fresh water is strictly rationed,” he hissed lowly.

Snape unbuttoned the lower portion of his coat to show how the waterskin could be worn underneath. –It will be our secret,” he crooned.

–Deal!” With eyes darting suspiciously, Pettigrew quickly tucked the prize beneath his shapeless robes.

Of its own accord, the sleek thestral-boat floated over the obsidian waters. Remus drew back in revulsion as grey, bloated faces floated just beneath the surface. With feigned calm, he posed, –Are these the people who didn’t negotiate a fair passage?”

–Some,” Pettigrew dismissed. –Others tried to escape their judgment by offering bribes. Punishment takes many forms here.”

–So you’re not always the ferryman, I take it,” Snape surmised.

–Charon has privileges denied the rest of us,” Pettigrew supplied. –In your case, I was summoned to give you a special welcome.”

With a hollow thump, the prow bumped against solid land once more. Scrambling down the short ladder which appeared to one side of the thestral’s head, they turned to offer thanks to their captain only to find he’d disappeared.

–And he complains about lack of courtesy,” Snape groused under his breath.

Remus raised a warning finger to his lips and nodded to the snoring tumble of rocks on the other side of the imposing gates. The grayish beach scree crunched underfoot despite how carefully they placed their boots. With revulsion, Remus realized they were actually standing on bone fragments from countless fingers and toes. Would close examination reveal teeth marks?

He managed to ignore the strangely wrought skulls that served as post finials the length of the iron fence. Reaching out a hand to the padlock, he recoiled when a rusted tongue snaked out of the gargoyle’s face.

At Remus’ sharp intake of breath, the gates opened soundlessly before them. Urging him forward, Snape mouthed in his ear, –Get a grip, Lupin. Haven’t you ever been to a Muggle spook house? So the architect has a taste for the macabre… Not so much different from that decrepit townhouse at Grimmauld Place when you get down to it.”

He was about to thank Severus to remember that the residents were totally different, but the retort died on his lips. Only two giant dog heads were snoring, the third one was drooling copiously as it cast a calculating eye over the two of them.

Snape grabbed Remus’ upper arm in warning as they moved forward without breaking stride. As they came abreast of the partially drowsy hellhound, the alert head leaned forward to sniff up and down Snape’s trouser leg. With a sharp whoosh of expelled breath that was none too fresh, the head rolled to the side and went back to sleep.

–Fluffy must remember you from Hogwarts.” Pettigrew’s voice at their side made them jump once again. –We only just got him back, you know. Quarantined in customs for ages.”

–That monstrosity was around young children?” Remus demanded. And parents were worried about me?

–He was meant to keep them away from a much more dangerous object,” Snape clarified. –Hagrid was sent to procure a watchdog and this is the result. It was that oaf’s idea to rechristen him as Fluffy.”

–Something tells me there’s a big chunk of the story that’s been omitted,” Remus observed wryly.

–This hardly seems…” Snape broke off as he noticed that Pettigrew had disappeared once more, leaving them alone on a cracked plain with nothing but a vague track wending into the distance.

–Do you think we’re being watched?” Remus posed as he followed Snape’s line of sight to the soaring mesa ahead.

Snape nodded, a grim set to his bloodless lips.

The raucous cry of circling vultures alerted them to look upward. The sky had turned the color of dried blood.

–Likely, it’s feeding off our imagination,” Snape warned lowly.

–Then finish the story of Fluffy’s trip to Hogwarts,” Lupin proposed in a bare whisper. –Your condescending tone will serve as an antidote of sorts.”

–What do you expect when I’m surrounded by the mentally incompetent? And I don’t always mean the students, either. Well-meaning is one thing, but gullible is entirely another!”

–Are you always able to tell the difference at first glance?”

–No, but I try to make more of an effort. An advantage to having a suspicious nature, even if the world at large doesn’t accept that.”

–Alastor Moody would be proud.”

Snape gave a low snort. –He’d have never said so to my face.”

He might have if you didn’t categorically rebuff everyone. Aloud Remus prompted, –Fluffy. Hogwarts. Mayhem.”

–Not so much; I was the one who was unlucky enough to be bitten. Then Hagrid blames it on me for disturbing that horror’s beauty sleep.”

–No amount of rest will ever make that beast pleasing to the eye,” Remus commiserated.

–I had enough sense to not say so to Hagrid. Meanwhile, Albus just smirks in the background as if he’s enjoying the floorshow.”

–Probably was.”

–Pomfrey does her officious lecture about safety measures. Meanwhile, that nincompoop, Quirrell, is wringing his hands and shaking in his boots. As if the man’s antics hadn’t been what led me afoul of the hellhound in the first place!”

Considering they had already been met by Pettigrew, what was to prevent one of those dust devils from resolving into Voldemort’s stuttering stooge? Remus’ sharp warning glance was met with Snape’s aplomb.

Surely this place can produce something much more heinous than Quirrell, his fathomless eyes conveyed.

Remus reconsidered, –At what point did you begin to suspect the Turbaned Terror?”

Snape mouthed the words ‘Turbaned Terror’ accompanied by a quirk of his eyebrow. –Never knew you had such an aptitude for black humor.”

–Didn’t you? How else would I have survived all those years as a slavering beast if I hadn’t learned to laugh in the face of misery?”

–Admittedly, you drew the short straw. Fear makes people do stupid things; I, myself, am guilty of that. But in all fairness, Lupin, most other werewolves aren’t like you.”

–And just how many others do you know?”

–A rhetorical question for just about anyone else. In my case, quite a few. Greyback was a frequent ally of the Death Eaters. They denounced him as a barbarian, of course, but they didn’t question his methods. How’s that for hypocrisy?”

–So the Turbaned Terror arrived just in time for Harry’s first year,” Remus steered them back on track.

Only to be rebuffed by Snape, –If you know the story already, why endure a rerun?”

–Albus’ rendition tends to gloss over certain details. I’d much rather hear it from someone who was in the thick of it.”

–As for Quirrell,” Snape relented, –I suspected him from the second he was announced as the new Defense teacher. Everyone knew that post was cursed! No one in their….” He trailed off uncertainly then cleared his throat. –I suppose I need to include my own name among those who were mentally unhinged.”

They had nearly come abreast of a bleached carcass. Perhaps a dinosaur from prehistoric times, Remus pondered. A man could easily be jailed within the gigantic bones of its ribcage. It did not resemble any creature he’d ever imagined, not that such a thing mattered here.

A few crows perched on the summit of bones, their heads turned so they could watch the visitors with greedy eyes. A blast of hot air and another few birds alighted. On silent wings they congregated, a solemn tableau to bear witness. Or just to intimidate?

Obviously Snape was of a like mind, for as they finally passed the carcass, he whirled on his heel and shooed the birds away. The great flapping of wings echoed among the sandstone cliffs. Yet instead of dying off into the distance, it intensified in fervor. Much to their horror, the crows were spiraling into a cone shape not unlike a feathered tornado. The two of them raised their hands to protect their eyes from the flying dust that assaulted them from all directions at once.

As quickly as they had appeared, the crows dissolved into nothing. Only a single feather fluttered to the ground to attest that the events had actually transpired.

In the birds’ place stood a truly terrifying apparition, its long hair writhing like poisoned tentacles in the stagnant air. The creature stood upright like a man but the contours of its body kept shifting as if uncertain what would best suit the situation. One moment its hands were giant talons; in the next, razor-sharp crab pinchers. The clothing, if it could be called that, was even more disconcerting to behold. As much as he tried to ignore it, Remus couldn’t help fixating on the multi-legged spiders that massed over the ashen grey skin.

–Are you --” The words died in Remus’ throat as the nightmare-made-flesh turned glowing orange eyes in his direction.

–The Bringer of Light? Heavens, no!” Laughter like a million rusty saws accompanied the sacrilegious pun.

At Remus’ stoic stance, the creature settled on a human form rather like an iron statue come to life. –You’re familiar with Milton?”

–Yes.”

–As am I,” Snape echoed.

–Oooh, we haven’t had scholars here in ages. In that case, you may call me Hades. I’m the steward of all you see -- at least for now.”

–And….the other?” Snape ventured hesitantly.

–He’s too aloof to tend to visitors,” Hades dismissed. –Even if they are a rare delicacy. But I’m being remiss in my duties. Welcome!” His outstretched arm indicated the bleak wasteland that stretched as far as a row of smoldering volcanoes in the distance.

At a sharp clap of his hands, Hades’ body dissolved into sand which pooled at their feet. A few yards ahead, the unkempt figure of Augustus Rookwood motioned them forward wordlessly.

As they regarded their surroundings, details shifted before their eyes. Shadows danced into crouching animal shapes, then losing interest, burrowed beneath the sand like centipedes. From hollows in the surrounding cliffs, hungry eyes watched and waited.

They almost lost their footing when rivulets of pebbles ran together until they’d carved out a huge crater of volcanic glass. As Remus and Snape picked their way down the slope, the onyx walls of the caldera enclosed them like an elaborate holding cell.

Remus’ sense of unease grew as he considered how malleable the landscape truly was. He didn’t dare look over his shoulder, yet with each step deeper into Tartarus their window of escape was growing smaller. If only they had discussed exit strategy in more detail.

Navigate the river in the opposite direction -- a simple plan that could fall apart in a million ways. Already they hadn’t taken into account the ferryman and he doubted Pettigrew would be on call for a return trip.

Which meant their stalwart Lily-Dora was grounded on the opposite bank.

Swimming was out of the question. Pettigrew’s warnings about those who tried to escape echoed grimly in Remus mind. If the water didn’t dissolve their bodies like acid, there were likely ravenous creatures that would pull them under for a snack.

Not to mention the dire warnings Dumbledore had given them about Apparition within the Underworld itself. Even in death, the man’s thirst for knowledge had led him to study the whirlpools of magical energy that separated the various realms. He’d described the Underworld as rather like huge ball of string. Damage that integrity with Apparition and the very walls could shift in those scant heartbeats between determination and destination. They could just as easily materialize inside a cavern with no opening.

By the time they neared the center of the lava bowl, the ragged circle of sky above was dotted with stars. Expecting the desert air to increase acuity, Remus sought out familiar constellations in vain. Much to his dismay, the motes of light seemed to be pulsing with menace.

They weren’t stars at all! The faint sound of buzzing reached Remus’ sensitive ears as he distinguished the luminous carapaces of hundreds of fireflies. Their flickering light revealed the iridescence of multilayered beetles beneath. Intrigued by the phenomenon, Remus’ eyes bored into the heavens. In the next heartbeat, he was staring at fangs belonging to a thousand unseen foes, the bestial glow of their eyes sharpening as they discerned his interest.

Feeding off my imagination… He gave himself a sharp mental yank and focused on the black polished surface at his feet instead.

Rookwood ushered them to a table that stood near the center of the huge crater. The hum of the beetles still lingering in the back of Remus’ mind became the buzz of conversations all around. They were in a hellacious amphitheatre of sorts.

–Thank you, Socrates.” Rookwood gave a derisive bow before accepting a tray from a wizened old man in a Grecian tunic. –I’m certain you’ve outdone yourself as usual.”

Socrates returned a toothless smile as he hobbled away to stand behind a smooth outcropping that served as a bar. Instantly, other patrons clamored for his attention and blocked the ancient philosopher from view.

–Now what ‘ave we ‘ere?” Rookwood considered the spindly cocktail glasses. One held a pernicious black solution, the other smoked in baleful blue spirals. – ‘eart’s Desire for Severus,” he crooned. –Extra dash o’ bitters, as I recall.”

Snape barely suppressed a grimace as he poked at the cocktail toothpick. Was that a giant olive or an eyeball impaled as a garnish? Remus couldn’t tell for certain before it slipped beneath the inky surface.

–Specially crafted for Lupin, a Monkshood Martini.” Rookwood stepped back to savor their reactions.

Despite the warning sirens in his head, Remus couldn’t resist leaning over to take a whiff of the colorful swirls. The scent was deliciously venomous. Seductively abhorrent. The smoke writhed into barely remembered faces from his past, urging him to peer into its depths as his nose approached the glass rim.

Yes, there it was! The face of his childhood friend who lived next door. They had played together from dawn until sunset and beyond. At least until he returned from his long convalescence to find that the entire family had moved...

The glass was dashed from the tabletop with one sweep of Snape’s black-clad arm. –Remember Persephone!” he whispered tersely as he barely kept his seat.

Remus’ eyes fixated on the tiny, smoking holes that had appeared in his companion’s frock coat. Splashes from the cocktail which had been bewitching him despite all his advance preparation. Before he could offer a word of thanks, the air trembled with outrage. Remus barely resisted the urge to cover his eardrums as the form of Hades reappeared before them.

In the sudden silence, the overlord of this nightmare world homed in on the noxious puddle. His fleshy lips drew back in a snarl. Then with one sweep of his arm, the mess disappeared as if it had never been.

With the other hand, he hauled Remus to his feet and treated him to a vicious smile. –Ah, a werewolf. Is it my birthday already?”

–Should I ‘ave gift-wrapped ‘im?” Rookwood guffawed from the left.

–Not necessarily,” Hades shot back as he deliberately circled Remus and drank in his scent.

As one predatory beast to another, Remus couldn’t help thinking as he willed himself to stay perfectly still. Clearly, this was the real being; the mirage which had greeted them in the desert had been nothing but an astral projection. A precaution sent to take measure of the interlopers before allowing them to intermix with the inmates.

–Fenrir’s hallmark is unmistakable,” the dark steward continued. –But there’s something else…. Something that’s missing.”

–That’s because Lupin’s a pet werewolf. Dumbledore had him neutered before he could attend Hogwarts.” Did that shaggy mane belong to Antonin Dolohov? He looked like a shipwrecked hermit.

Staring into the unforgiving eyes of his killer and Remus felt….nothing. His heart had turned to ice overnight it seemed. Or was it just that Dolohov was a non-entity to him since their paths should never have crossed in the afterlife?

–Likely chewed his bits off himself,” a high-pitched voice rang out with malicious glee. –All those nights spent locked up in the Shrieking Shack.”

Remus was certain that had been Pettigrew, but wisely kept silent.

–Bollocks, mate! Is this true?” Hades jeered.

–He’s nothing but a pup,” came a deranged snarl from his left. Remus looked down into savage eyes that could only belong to another werewolf -- one who had welcomed the beast within. –Never embraced his true destiny. Admit it!”

With utmost calmness, Remus put forth, –A man’s destiny is what he makes of it. Those who tried to twist mine at a young age found that I was determined to twist back.”

–A lay philosopher, too,” sneered another toothy grin from the crowd. –We could use a new chew toy.”

The unusually long tongue the man flicked into the air identified him as another werewolf. Remus was well aware of that particular aberration, although thankfully he had never developed it himself.

–Before you initiate him into your pack, we must pass judgment,” Hades rumbled. With eyes like blazing coals, he took in Remus from head to foot. –Did you say you rejected the dark gift of the moon?”

–Lycanthropy is no more the will of the moon than madness is in those who are labeled as lunatics,” Remus protested evenly.

–A wordsmith!” announced a hunched figure that skittered behind the carved ebony throne which had appeared at the front of the room. –Shall we pit him against Rasputin?”

–Fetch the Dark Monk if you will, Amycus,” Hades commanded. –He can have him when I’m done.” In a seductive tone, he coaxed Remus, –What makes you so different from them? I want a concrete answer this time.”

Remus took a moment to compose his thoughts as he felt all eyes boring into his flesh. –I was powerless to prevent the transformation, but I continued to fight it to the very end in my mind. It was a battle I lost each and every time, but that only made me resist that much more with the next full moon.”

–Delusions of saintliness,” Alecto Carrow accused from the sidelines.

–Are you expecting to be canonized?” Pettigrew’s snout poked from Carrow’s lumpy skirt.

–I don’t profess to be better than anyone else,” Remus replied to Hades’ jaded expression. –The taint of sin runs through every man.”

–Some more than others,” Dolohov heckled with a murderous look in Snape’s direction.

Determined to get a rise out of Remus, Hades goaded, –Never passed on your dark gift to anyone?”

–No.” A twinge of guilt prodded Remus to amend, –Not willingly, at any rate.”

–Ask him about his offspring!” an unfamiliar voice demanded.

–You heard Quisling. Is there a long line of women in your past?”

Remus blanched noticeably. He caught Severus’ eye in desperation and found the idea he sought in the forefront of his mind. –Unless any of those women are within your boundaries, I’m not compelled to denounce them before this…tribunal.” At the last minute he rejected the overpowering urge to employ the term ‘kangaroo court.’

–We have a barrister in our midst!” mocked Barty Crouch, Junior as he lightly dropped to his feet from a nearby barstool.

–Shall we call for Oliver Cromwell to wear him down with rhetoric?” another acolyte put forth.

With a truly sinister smile, Hades promised, –Only if he’s found guilty.”

–Don’t let him dodge the issue,” Barmy Barty insisted with a reptilian lick to his lips. –I know for certain Lupin fathered a child.”

–Well?” Hades’ scepter appeared in his hand and he pointed it at Remus’ chest. –How many sprogs?”

–Just one,” Remus surrendered.

–And the mother?”

–My wife.”

–Any chance conception occurred before the marriage ceremony?” Pettigrew’s eyes shone with anticipation.

–Sorry to dash your hopes, but no.”

–Bah!” Hades decried as he turned his back. –So much unrealized potential.”

–What a waste.”

–Banal.”

–Extraordinarily ordinary,” pronounced a gravelly voice from the back of the chamber. Remus craned his neck but could distinguish nothing more than the flaming brackets and the dark silhouettes of the crowd.

–Perhaps we should consider moving on to the second course, sire,” a tall man in a leather doublet suggested as he swaggered into the room. Draping his body across a smaller chair adjoining Hades’ dais, he turned cold eyes towards his master’s face.

Hades waved him off. –In a moment, Mordred. Restraint sharpens the flavor, wouldn’t you say?”

Remus practically collapsed with relief as he found a chair right where he needed it when his rubbery legs gave way.

–Another cocktail?” offered a gnarled house-elf that reminded him of the mounted heads at Grimmauld Place.

–Thank you, but no,” Remus demurred with mounting dread.

Despite the steam which escaped through vents in the caldera, Remus had thus far managed to remain unaffected. Not so with the icy ball that now settled in his stomach. Events were sliding out of control, his internal alarms blared. He had a sickening feeling things were going to get worse.

Much worse.