Part Two – The Day After
James woke slowly, the dull pounding behind his eyelids forcing him to leave them closed just in case his head burst when he opened them. He flung an arm over his face, trying to quell the hammering, and for a moment the world was blissfully dark and quiet. Then an incessant ticking began to batter his senses. He flipped over, groaning as the simple act of movement sent waves of dizziness through him, and pulled a pillow over his head. The tapping grew louder, however, until he could stand it no more, and he chanced a squint-eyed glance from under the pillow to see what the hell it was.
A tiny owl was pecking at his window. Slapping his hand around on the nightstand next to his bed, James knocked over his glasses before he finally managed to find his wand. He flicked it at the window and let it fall to the nightstand once more. The owl flapped over and landed next to him, hooting indignantly, as if it were offended at his current state of being.
James fumbled blindly with the tiny parchment tied to the owl's leg, earning him a peck on the hand. He swore as the owl flew back through the window into the clear sky. With a sigh, he removed the pillow from his face so he could read the letter up close.
You’ve missed breakfast. Care to join me in the kitchen? ~Lily
James sat bolt upright, immediately regretting it as his head exploded into a million different colors. Throwing his feet over the side of the bed, he put his head in his hands and tried to quell the violent nausea that threatened to overwhelm him. Lily wanted to see him, and he knew he should go and apologize for everything he had put her through the previous night. He only hoped he wasn't sick all over her, or worse—blathered on about more of the nonsense he had shared at the lake.
Bending over to pick up his glasses was agony. Standing slowly to get his balance, James swallowed the bad taste in his mouth and cleaned up as quickly and as best as he could. He couldn’t wash the dark circles from under his eyes, or flatten his hair, which was messier than ever after a long night tossing and turning. With a sigh, he put on his glasses and made his way toward the common room, trying not to think about his appearance for once.
He didn't need to worry: most of the students were outside enjoying the beautiful spring day. It was bright and sunny, and James couldn’t help but wince as the light burned into his bleary eyes. He bit back another groan, determined to make it through the day without getting sick. He did, however, cast a Dimming Charm on his glasses so that the glare didn't hurt as much.
Peter was sitting with Remus at a nearby table, paging through some review work for Potions. He looked up when James stepped into the common room and grinned.
“Look, Moony, he’s actually alive.”
“And out of bed before dinner,” added Remus with his own teasing smile. “How are you feeling, Prongs?”
“Like I was run over by a troll,” James muttered, flopping down next to them and letting his head fall to the table with a dull thud that flashed behind his eyes. “I don’t think I can go any further. I honestly don’t.”
“Where are you going?” asked Peter. “We didn't think you'd be up before lunch. Go sleep it off some more.”
James lifted his head to give him a groggy smile. “Evans wants to see me,” he told them.
“After last night?” asked Peter. “We heard what happened at breakfast, you know. It's a wonder she wants to talk to you, let alone see you.”
Remus frowned with mock-seriousness. “She seemed concerned, Wormtail. Maybe she’s got a weakness for drunk wizards who retch all over the castle.”
James raised an eyebrow, marveling at how even the smallest facial movement hurt. “If I didn’t know better, I’d say you were channeling Sirius in one of his wittier moments.”
“Then I’d better stop,” murmured Remus, a twinkle in his eye. “I don’t want to usurp his place as the clever dick of the group.”
“Usurp?” repeated James and Peter together. They laughed, although James stopped as his stomach twisted in protest. When the world settled once more, he stood, holding onto the side of the table for support.
“Are you okay?" he asked Remus.
Remus shrugged. "I'm fine, thanks. Rough day yesterday, but it usually is, isn't it?"
James gave him a sympathetic look. "Glad you're up and about so soon, but I've got to go. Even if she chews me out, I need to thank her for…well, for everything she did. ”
"She saved your arse," Peter pointed out.
"No thanks to any of you," muttered James, highly aware of just how much he owed Lily Evans.
"Oh, from what Lily told us," said Remus with a grin, "we are very sorry we missed it. Especially the bit at the lake."
"Maybe next time," said James, even though he was planning on staying well away from Firewhiskey for as long as he could. "I have to meet Lily. I'll see you later."
“Good luck!” called Peter as he left them behind, laughing. Stealing himself, James went through the portrait hole, expecting the Fat Lady to give him a hard time. To his surprise, she was too caught up in gossiping with an equally large lady from another portrait to notice him. He hurried down the corridor toward the kitchens—or, at least, he walked as quickly as he could; the stone seemed to bore into his body with every step he took.
By the time he reached the kitchens he felt sick and weak and wished he were back in his bed more than anything. He hated letting Evans see him like this—again—but figured she’d now seen him at his worst, so there was nothing to lose. He entered the kitchen, not sure what to expect.
Lily was sitting at the same table where she had found him the previous night, and she was staring into the fire in much the same way he had. There was obviously no Firewhiskey as it was Saturday morning, but a plate of untouched food was in front of her, as well as a goblet of liquid that wafted purple smoke into the air. She turned when she heard him and motioned him to sit across from her, smiling as she pushed him the plate.
“Here, I had the elves save some for you,” she said. Handing him the goblet, she continued. “And I brewed this myself. Try it.”
“What is it?” he asked, sniffing at it reluctantly. To his surprise, it smelled fruity and sweet, and the scent immediately began to relax his tense body and calm his queasy stomach.
“A potion for hangovers,” she replied with a wink. “Surely you’ve had one before?”
James stared incredulously at her. "If I had even known such a thing existed, I would have had much more fun every time Sirius insisted on sneaking something into the dormitory."
Lily laughed, and although James winced at the sound, he was glad to hear it, even if she was laughing was at him. He had been worried she was going to berate him instead.
"We use it every time we sneak something up," she said, green eyes twinkling. He gave her the most withering look he could manage.
"Thanks for finally sharing your secret, then," he replied. He tipped back the goblet and finished it in one gulp. He braced himself for his stomach's protest, but immediately felt it settle instead. The plate of food suddenly looked appetizing, and he tore into with enthusiasm.
"Works well, doesn't it?" Lily asked, grinning. James nodded as he finished a roll and moved on to some bacon and eggs. She watched him with amusement, but did not say anything.
"Thank you," he finally said again. "And not just for the potion or the food." She raised her eyebrows at him, and he forced himself to continue in spite of his embarrassment. "Thank you for last night."
"You're welcome," she said. "You owe me, you know."
"That's exactly what Remus and Peter said," James replied.
"Smart mates. So how do you feel?" she asked as he cleaned his plate.
"Much better," he replied. At least, he felt better if he didn't think about anything too much.
"Are you…are you all right? I mean, about your parents and Snape and…everything." She seemed concerned but uncomfortable bringing up all the things they had talked about the night before.
James leaned back in the chair with a sigh. He rubbed his face, vaguely recalling doing something similar as they had sat in much the same place. He thought about her question and finally tried to answer as simply as he could.
"I'm okay," he said. He really was: he had put to voice everything that had been bothering him, and just the act of sharing it had helped him accept things a bit more. "I had a lot on my mind yesterday. It was…overwhelming. I'm sorry you caught the brunt of it."
Lily nodded as if she understood. "That's all right, you had a lot to be overwhelmed with," she said softly. "More than enough."
"Maybe, but that's no excuse for coming down here and drinking myself stupid." James shrugged. He was surprised she hadn't rebuked him yet, so he would do it himself. "I don't know what I might have done if you hadn't come looking for me."
"Probably got caught and thrown into another detention," she replied matter-of-factly.
"Oh, I'm sure I'll get another detention. I missed the one I was supposed to have last night for hexing Snape." He paused. "I could have lost my badge, so thanks."
"Maybe," said Lily, studying him closely. She narrowed her eyes at him. "Care to go for a walk?" she asked.
"Why not?" James replied. She hadn't criticized him yet, but there was still time. He helped her up with a grin. "Maybe I'll even go for another swim."
He laughed and was once again pleased when she laughed with him.
"At least we won't need your magical map to avoid any professors," she teased.
James stopped. "My map? Bollocks, do you still have it? Sirius would hex me something fierce if I lost it."
"Yes, I have it," she said, linking her arm in his and leading him from the kitchen. "But you'll have to earn it back."
James looked down at their joined arms in surprise. He didn't think anything like that had happened between them the previous night, yet she was acting very different toward him. The lack of a proper scolding was alarming enough, let alone the sudden friendliness. However, he rather liked having her arm on his and decided to just go with it to see how it played out.
"So how do I do that?" he asked curiously.
"Just walk with me, for one," she replied. "And tell me something—how much do you remember from last night?"
"Ah," he replied, trying to hide his embarrassment once more. "Well, I remember jumping in the lake," he offered, hoping she wasn't referring to anything he had said. He had shared quite a few things he would have rather kept to himself now that he could think clearly, and that was only what he could remember. He had only a blurred recollection of what he might have said or done after dunking himself.
"You scared me!" she exclaimed, looking sideways at him. "All of a sudden, you were just gone! I thought you'd gone and done something drastic. Is that the last you remember?"
"I remember retching all over you," he continued, cringing as the scene by the lake replayed itself.
"Actually, you missed me. Every time." She bumped his shoulder and winked.
James groaned. "You mean it happened more than once? After the first time things get a bit hazy, although I remember making it back to Gryffindor, somehow.""
They had reached the Entrance Hall. Lily shook her head and laughed as they headed out toward the lawn that surrounded the castle. The potion Lily had given him had worked wonders, and James found the spring day refreshing. He even released the Dimming Charm on his glasses.
"Actually, we stopped several times on our way back to Gryffindor," she said. She gave him a sympathetic look. "It was pretty bad. But the map helped—no one saw us, at least until you announced it to everyone in Gryffindor." He grimaced, remembering the sniggers as he had stepped into the common room.
Lily smiled. "And yes, it was all the talk at breakfast this morning. Here, let's go this way. I don't want you jumping in on me again."
They headed away from the lake toward the Whomping Willow and the forest instead. The lawn was packed with scores of students out to enjoy the beautiful day, and James found he was glad to avoid the crowd. He could only imagine the gossip going around about him after his rather spectacular entrance in the Gryffindor common room, and although he didn't usually let things like that bother him, he didn't particularly feel like dealing with it quite yet.
He was also enjoying the walk with Lily, although he wasn't sure where it was going, both literally and figuratively. She was quiet as she led him past the Whomping Willow toward a cluster of large rocks that stood on the outskirts of the forest. He wondered why she had wanted to see him, when she had said so little, and why she had brought him so far from the school. He vaguely remembered her undressing him in his dormitory and again hoped nothing inappropriate had happened; he could imagine her bringing him out there only to jinx him senseless and leave him there.
Lily finally climbed onto one of the rocks and motioned for him to join her. He did, still feeling slightly unsettled at her silence. He studied her as she gazed out at the castle: her long hair was pulled back in a single plait, several stray hairs framing her face and blowing in the breeze. Her eyes were bright, and she was smiling as she gazed around the grounds. He was struck—as he often was—by how beautiful she was, and by how much he had once fancied her. Her constant rejections—some of them quite virulent—had finally convinced him to give up and move on, only as he watched her now, he felt that same longing once more. He had simply buried it, tired of getting no where, accepting that she would never see him as anything more than a reckless cad.
"You said a lot of things last night that made me think," Lily finally said, opening the conversation.
"I had quite a bit to drink," James pointed out. He remembered most of what he had said before he'd got sick, and knew perfectly well he had meant it all. He just wasn't sure he wanted her to know that.
“It wasn’t the Firewhiskey talking,” she said. “It just loosened your tongue, I think.”
He shrugged, unwilling to agree.
“Can I ask you something?” She turned toward him, pulling her knees up to her chest. She tucked the stray hairs behind her ears as she waited for him to answer.
“I think you’ve probably heard it all now," he replied, "but go ahead. I'm not sure I have anything to hide after last night.”
“Did you mean what you said about wanting to leave Hogwarts?”
James sighed. He should have known she would ask him about that and been better prepared to answer. “Some of it,” he finally said, leaning back on his arms. “I am tired of a lot of this stuff, which is a good reason to move on. But I'm also worried about what’s out there, which seems a good reason to stay. So it’s confusing.”
“You said you would fight, though,” she reminded him. “So I think even if a part of you doesn't want to leave, you know you have to, and you know what to do, what’s right.”
“I suppose.” James didn't have quite the confidence in his resolve that she did.
“It’s really remarkable,” she said, looking back out over the lawn at the castle again.
“What is?”
“Your courage.”
James stared at her in surprise. “Not really, Lily,” he said. “If I was really all that brave, I would have...” he trailed off, not wanting to continue.
“What?” she asked curiously. Like the previous night.
“Let’s just say I might have done things differently,” James answered. He was certainly not going to share everything with her. “Made some different choices.”
“Like what?” she pressed. Why was she so insistent?
“Evans, I don’t really feel like hashing out all my regrets with you. Not now.” He paused and gave her a questioning look. “Besides, why do you care?”
“You asked me the same thing last night,” she murmured.
“What did you say?” he asked, although he vaguely remembered.
“I just wanted to help.”
James tensed; she was the last person he wanted to feel pity for him. “I don’t need help now.”
“Now I’m just curious.” She smiled; he frowned.
“Why?”
“You keep asking me that!” She laughed, but James was not amused.
“Maybe that's because you keep giving me a dodgy answer,” he pointed out.
To his surprise, she did not react, only paused to consider her words a bit longer. “All of a sudden, you are an enigma to me.”
“An enigma? Didn't you say that last night?”
“I did. Finding you in the kitchen with your face planted in a bottle of whiskey—“
“Don’t remind me,” he grumbled.
“—made me realize that I don’t know that much about you. Or rather, that the things I thought I knew aren't really true after all.”
“About me?”
“About you, your friends, Hogwarts, life after Hogwarts,” she replied. “For all your drunk rambling, you were quite articulate about things last night. You really made me think.”
“And you are really quite confusing,” James said, shaking his head.
“Why do you say that?" Now it was her turn to look slightly puzzled.
“I prattle on about how bleak the future looks, and you find it interesting?”
“No, not just the future—you.”
“Me?”
“Yes, you.”
“We’ve spent the entire year working together, Lily. I’m no different, trust me.”
“Oh, but you are!” she exclaimed.
“If you say so,” he replied, skeptical of her reasoning.
“Don’t you want to know how?"
"You mean, do I want to know all the bad things you used to think about me but don't anymore?" James shook his head. This was more along the lines of what he had been expecting: the grand put-down, the endless list of his faults and failings. He'd heard it all before and did not feel like hearing it again. "Not really. I've got a pretty good idea already."
Lily looked down at her hands as if she were uncomfortable. "I'm sorry. That was really insensitive of me, wasn't it? I just meant…well, last night changed things."
James felt his breath catch. He was once more reminded of Lily helping him out of his wet clothes, of sitting there in his pants, of her brushing the hair from his face as she left. "Er, can I ask you something?"
"Of course."
"When you say last night changed things, did I…well, did we…I mean, we didn't…you know…" He hated stumbling over his words, but was mortified at the thought that something might have happened between them in his drunken stupor, and that even worse, he couldn't remember it.
"What?" She frowned, clearly baffled by his question, but suddenly her eyes went wide, and her hand flew up to her mouth. "Oh, you mean…did we…? Oh, no! Not like that!"
James blew out his breath in relief. "Thank Merlin," he murmured. "I'd hate to think I'd gone and done something to hurt you and couldn't remember it."
She touched his arm and smiled warmly. "I don't think you could hurt me, James." When she saw him eyeing her hand, she pulled it away with a slight cough.
James was now thoroughly confused. If they hadn't done…that…then what did she mean? He wasn't sure he wanted to know, and yet he needed to understand why she was acting so different toward him. His feelings for her were returning, growing stronger the longer they sat there, and he didn't want to let them back in if the half-formed ideas in his head were completely wrong. A part of him was still waiting for her to cut him down for his behavior the previous night.
"Okay, go ahead," he said reluctantly. "Tell me what changed your mind last night. I can take it."
She wrapped her arms around her knees again and stared at the castle. "I just never knew how much you cared about things. How hard you worked, how important your friends and family were, how much you worried about the future."
"Surprise, surprise," he murmured.
"I'm sorry," she said, sounding miserable. "I just always thought you were a bit more shallow than that. You've spent most of your time at Hogwarts flouncing around with Black, showing off and messing around in class, dropping pranks and hexing people."
"And yet I'm Head Boy, you know," James pointed out. Instead of feeling offended or upset, he was actually starting to feel slightly amused. Lily was clearly uncomfortable with both the realization that he was indeed a decent person, as well as the effort it was taking to confess it to him. Perhaps she wasn't going to criticize him for his behavior after all.
"I know," she said, shaking her head. "And I'm spent most of the year wondering why, even though you've done little to deserve such doubt. I just assumed…well, that Remus would be Head Boy."
James had assumed it, too. Everyone had, but it was fairly obvious to those that knew him that Remus's condition would hold him back from such a major responsibility. It probably wouldn't be the first time his friend was turned down for circumstances out of his control, and James had struggled with accepting the Head Badge, not wanting to betray one of his closest friends by taking a position that should have been his. "Dumbledore had his reasons," he said with a shrug.
He thought she was going to ask him about it, but she didn't. She just nodded and looked away. He was glad, since not being able to reveal anything would certainly complicate whatever was going on between them right then.
"You've done a great job this year, James," Lily said softly. "I'm sorry I've given you such a hard time."
"That's okay," he said, and he meant it. He bumped her shoulder, much as she had done to him earlier; somehow her continued discomfort made him feel better. He didn't like feeling uncertain about what was going on, and felt more in control with their usual demeanor: she criticized him, he teased her. "Things wouldn't be the same if I didn't joke around a bit and you didn't give me a hard time. That's sort of our game, isn't it?"
"Game?" she asked, eyeing him curiously. "I guess so. Our game." She seemed to think about it. "I like it, our game," she offered.
"I do, too," he replied. A warm feeling spread through him. He had always wondered why she played the game, but had finally decided that she did indeed hate him; she played only because she had no choice but to push him away when he was constantly goading her. Now he wondered if she occasionally played as a way of actually expressing a bit of…something else for him. Or perhaps it was just his hope, that maybe she liked him as well as their game.
"You asked me if we'd ever see each other after Hogwarts," Lily said, interrupting his thoughts. "I realized last night that I'd miss…our game if we didn't."
"I doubt it," James said, hiding his surprise. "I thought you had everything planned—the job, the wedding, everything."
"I did," she replied. "But you changed that last night. You made me think about what's really out there, especially for someone like me."
James leaned back again and sighed. "I'm sorry, Lily. I didn't mean to scare you."
"You didn’t," she said, sounding surprised. "I didn't say I was scared. I've dealt with it before, after all. I just hadn't really thought about how the war might affect my plans for the future. I hadn't thought about fighting; I just assumed someone else would, and that things would turn out okay. Now I realize I can't just sit back and let someone else do that for me."
"You're thinking about fighting?" he asked. "You can't do that! It wouldn't be safe, you might get hurt, you might get ki—"
She put a finger to his lips, and a shiver went through him at her touch. He gazed into her eyes, so clear and determined, and saw something there he had not seen before: courage.
"You might, too," she said. "And then where would I be?"
She let her hand fall to his and squeezed it, leaving her fingers entwined with his. He glanced down at them and gave her questioning look.
"Are you sure we didn't…?" he asked, hoping his teasing tone come through more than his stuttering nerves.
"I'm sure!" she laughed again. "But I have to admit…it did cross my mind once or twice when we were up in your dormitory, and you were sitting there in your pants."
James couldn't believe the slightly suggestive way she looked at him and swallowed hard, wishing he could say something witty or sophisticated. His mind was blank, though, as he tried to process what was happening. Was she actually hinting at something? Something he had stopped thinking about ages ago?
His face must have shown his surprise and uncertainty, for Lily's eyes went wide, and she blushed, dropping his hand and looking away. "I'm sorry," she stammered. "I didn't mean to embarrass you."
James shook his head. "No, you didn't," he said. “It's just that if I had known getting completely pissed in the kitchens would have changed your mind about me, I would have retched all over you ages ago."
It was a ridiculous thing to say, and James was relieved when Lily laughed. He reached over and took her hand back, slightly nervous that she would reject him, in spite of everything she seemed to be saying. She smiled, though, and he relaxed, feeling his confidence beginning to return.
"So what exactly were you thinking about last night?" he asked playfully. "Besides fighting, of course."
She turned to gaze at him, her eyes studying him very steadily for so long he didn't think she would answer. "I was thinking about us," she finally replied. "Our game." She looked at him expectantly, but he didn't know what to say, so he stayed silent, not wanting to ruin the moment, and hoping she would continue without him. She didn't.
"Our game?" he finally asked, his heart pounding wildly.
She smiled at him. "Do you remember the last thing you said to me?"
He didn't, and he wondered if it was something he'd regret saying if he remembered. "I don't," he admitted. "I hope it wasn't stupid or offensive." Yet the smile on her face told him it was probably not.
"It wasn't," she said. "It was…nice."
"Are you going to tell me?"
"Maybe someday." She slid down off the rock, leaving him sitting alone and confused. "Come on, let's get some lunch. I'm hungry, and you could probably still use some more food."
"Wait!" he called. She stopped and turned back to him expectantly. "What's going on? You bring me out here, and I'm sure you're going to jinx me for last night, only you tell me I'm an enigma, but you won’t tell me what I said that was so brilliant. I don’t get it."
She shrugged her shoulders and gave him a small smile. "I don't get it either, Potter. I should be running you up the wall for last night, especially as Head Girl. I'd certainly dock anyone else points for something like that."
"Then do it!" he exclaimed. "Yell, scream, swear, give me a detention, tell me how irresponsible I am. This…this…" he gestured at her wordlessly, unable to articulate his thoughts. "This is confusing. This is not the Lily Evans I know."
"And you're not the James Potter I thought I knew," she said. "So apparently I'm not the only one who had the wrong idea about the other. Maybe you need to rethink what you know about me." She turned and continued toward the castle, infuriatingly calm.
"Evans!" he shouted, hurrying after her and catching her by the hand. "I do know you. I feel like I've always known you." He gazed into her eyes, which were warily guarded as he continued. "You are incredibly smart, brilliant at Potions, and top of the class in Charms. You're kind and compassionate, except when it comes to me and Sirius pulling a prank, of course." She rolled her eyes and he continued. "Then you are a bit strict, defensive, and somewhat judgmental, only you really do how to peg a person just right."
"Except you," she murmured.
He ignored her and continued. "You are fiercely loyal to your friends and your house, you're hardworking yet fun, outgoing and yet reserved at the same time. You are strong, stronger than you think, and you are beautiful." He stopped, out of breath, and the look on her face was one of stunned disbelief. "More beautiful than anyone I've ever met."
"How can you know so much about me, yet I know so little about you?" she whispered.
It hit him then: what he had said to her the night before, when she had brushed the hair from his face, and he had grabbed her hand as she left. He said it again, because it was true.
"It was you," he said softly. "Always you."
He waited, his heart beating faster than it did during a Quidditch match. He was saying it again because what did he have to lose? He had already said it, had said a hundred things he would not have ever shared under normal circumstances, and he might as well take one more chance before school was over, and he never saw her again. She had told him he wasn't a coward and praised his courage—only she didn't know that she was his biggest regret, she was the one thing he wished had been different.
"I know," she said, and he remembered her saying the exact same thing before. "I've always known, and yet I've always treated you so badly, how could you possibly still feel that way about me?"
"I probably shouldn’t," he said, dropping her hand and glancing away for some reason. He began to walk back to the castle, suddenly wanting to escape the desperately awkward conversation. He was sure it was moving toward yet another rejection. She followed him, though, and he continued with a sigh. "But I do, and a part of me always will. I never gave up on my feelings for you, Lily, but I have to admit that I had given up on the idea of you ever seeing me as someone you might want to be with."
"I wish it hadn't taken me so long to figure it out," she murmured.
"Figure out what?" he asked, not daring to think she meant what he thought, what he hoped. It couldn't be possible, after so many refusals.
"I wish it hadn't taken me so long to realize what a good man you are," she said, not looking at him, "and how much I actually like you."
"You like me," he repeated, glancing sideways at her. "Even after last night?"
She laughed and reached for his hand again. He thought she sounded nervous and was almost certain her hand was shaking slightly. "I do. Even after last night."
James took a deep breath and made one more leap of faith. "Enough to finally go out with me now that the year is almost over?"
"Yes!” she exclaimed, smiling broadly. Her face seemed to light up with joy. "Although, I thought you'd never ask again!"
"I thought I'd never have a chance," he said, grinning back. "Especially after all that stuff you said."
"I did tell you things would be different in the morning, Potter."
"You did?" he asked as they neared the castle. A few of the students scattered around the lawn had spotted them and were pointing their way. James ignored them and hoped Lily did as well, for he certainly didn't need the entire castle sitting in on their moment—whatever it might be.
"I did," she replied. "It was the last thing I said."
"You were right, then. Things are certainly different now." He felt giddy with the thought that Lily had not only said she liked him, but that she would go out with him. After so many years, it had only taken one long night of baring his soul.
"Everything will be different soon, and not between just us," she said. He heard the seriousness in her voice and knew she wasn't just talking about them. "But James?" she added playfully.
"Yes?"
"You've forgotten something."
James felt his pulse quicken as she stopped, pulled him closer, and softly pressed her lips to his. Her eyes were closed, and so he closed his own, enjoying instead the taste of her lips, the scent of her hair, the feel of her skin. Kissing her was like kissing no other girl: it was warm, exciting, tender, and new. Somehow it felt more right than any other kiss he'd had ever experienced, and he couldn't believe that she was the one who had initiated it, after he'd spent so many years trying.
She didn't kiss him for long, just long enough to tease him into wanting more. When she pulled away, he saw that her cheeks were slightly flushed with embarrassment. There were a few shouts from the castle as a group of sixth-years saw them and whistled. Lily ducked her head and looked away, though he saw she was smiling. He tilted her chin up toward him, brushing the hair from her face as he gazed into her eyes, marveling at how beautiful she was and how lucky he was to have just kissed her.
With a sudden shout, he picked her up and twirled her around, then set her down and crushed his lips to hers once more. She responded instantly, throwing her arms around his neck and ignoring the catcalls from the castle as more and more students noticed them on the lawn. How long they stood there, enveloped in each other, James didn't know and didn't care. He could only think of how much brighter the future looked with Lily by his side.
* * *
Different in the Morning by Gmariam
Chapter Endnotes: Thank you once again to Natalie/hestia jones for looking this over and helping me with the ending! And to the lovely reviewers who gave me a lot to think about when it comes to my writing.
I must say, when I wrote the first part, I simply wanted to explore a deeper side of James. I wanted to explore his vulnerabilities at a time when so much was going on who wouldn't feel overwhelmed, especially at eighteen? I had no intention of writing a second part...until I realized that the story was unresolved in how Lily was affected by seeing this side of him. And so part two appeared, far more fluffy than anything I had planned when James took his first sip of Firewhiskey. I do hope you enjoyed it. If not, you could always read one of the two hundred fifty-seven other ways I have written James and Lily's relationship...I jest. I've only written a handful. ;)