James had never been able to sleep late on Christmas morning, and this year, whether out of excitement or out of habit, was no exception. He opened his eyes a little before dawn but didn't move, staring instead at blankly at his ceiling as it lightened slowly.
He didn't know what was going to happen. He had been anticipating Christmas highly over the past couple of weeks--and not just because it was Christmas. The stalemate he'd hit with his friends seemed finally to be wearing down, and Christmas, he thought, seemed like the perfect time to break it.
It was with this thought in mind that he rolled over onto his side and his eyes fell upon the small package on his nightstand. He reached for it, turning it over and over in his hand; something about it felt vaguely familiar and he frowned, grasping fruitlessly for the fading edges of dreams.
Laughing slightly at himself, he shook his head to clear it and slipped a finger under the wrapping paper. It tore artlessly down the middle as he, suddenly unable to control his curiosity, ripped open the package and pulled out a small golden ball.
It wasn't until he felt the wings flutter against his palm that he understood what it was, and even then he scarcely believed it. But it was the Snitch, the same one that had been loosed into the Great Hall weeks ago, the same one that was rumored to be flying wild around the school, the same one that Lily had caught only seconds before he himself reached it.
James fumbled for the mess of wrapping paper, but there was no card, no note, nothing. Disheartened, he threw it onto his floor, still clutching the Snitch in one hand. It didn't really matter, he supposed. There was only one person this could be from--as far as he knew, they were the only two who knew about it. But still, he would have appreciated some sign, some indication of why she had decided to give him this.
Barely had this thought occurred to him when there was a rap on his door, and he was instantly on his feet, crossing the room in two strides to open it.
It was Remus; "Happy Christmas!" he said jubilantly, coming inside James's room. James grinned at him, half-relieved and half-disappointed.
"Happy Christmas," he said back, starting to close the door again, when suddenly Sirius barreled inside, slamming into the door so hard that it hit James in the head.
"Ow!" he yelped.
"That was mostly accidental," Sirius told him.
"Fair enough," James laughed, rubbing his temple. Remus rolled his eyes, smiling slightly as he looked back and forth between the two of them, and, for a moment, everything felt normal.
"What are you still doing up here, anyway?" Sirius whined. "I know you, Prongs, you've been up for hours. I've already shaken all the presents, and your mum's made breakfast and it smells really good and I'm tired of waiting for you to come down so we can start!"
James hadn't heard his nickname in so long; in some ways, it was the best Christmas present he could have gotten, he had to resist the urge to throw his arms around Sirius when he used it. Remus, however, was shaking his head at Sirius incredulously. "You are actually five years old," he said.
"No I'm not!" Sirius bellowed. "I just had an unsatisfactory childhood!"
"Touche," Remus said, tilting his head.
James backed slowly away from them as their verbal sparring continued, surreptitiously slipping the Snitch into his dresser drawer. He'd figure out what to do with it later, he thought, pulling a shirt over his head, then heading for the door.
"Well, come on," he said, stepping out into the hall. "What's taking you two so long?"
"Yes," Sirius said. "Finally." And he bounded out past James down the stairs.
James turned back towards Remus. "Where's--" he started to ask.
"Peter and Lily have been downstairs for awhile," Remus rattled off, "and Leda just got there. You're the last one."
"Thanks," James said, not entirely sure which of the three he meant to ask about, and glad that, as usual, Remus had appeared to understand this inherently.
As the reached the landing and turned the corner, James was reminded, once again, of why he had always loved Christmas so much. The living room, which was the biggest room in the Potter's not-small house, had been overtaken by a gigantic fir tree, laden with decorations. He could smell the pine from where he stood, almost an entire room away. Across from the tree, a fire was roaring in the hearth, dancing even in the daylight against the soft gold-painted walls. Through the large windows he could see the snow falling in huge, quiet flakes.
But the best part--he might as well admit it--was the fact that Lily Evans was sitting on the floor by the tree wearing bright green pajamas, her auburn hair in pigtails, and giant fluffy bunny slippers on her feet.
"Excuse me, Evans," Sirius said, eyeing her warily. "What on earth are those?"
Lily smiled impishly up at him and wiggled her toes. "They're bunnies!" she said sweetly. "They're huge in the Muggle world. Everyone wears them all the time. School, grocery shopping, formal events, they're all the rage."
"Muggles are weird," said Peter, who was sitting next to her.
"Somehow, I'm having trouble believing this story," Sirius said dryly.
Lily shrugged. "Don't blame me if you ever try to blend into the Muggle world and fail miserably because you--"
"Aren't wearing fuzzy fake animals on my feet?"
Lily grinned. So, across the room from her, did James; a second later, however, he stopped, when he looked up to see Leda, perched on a sofa behind Lily and Peter, glaring at him. Unlike Lily, she was dressed up for Christmas in a deep blue dress with a plunging neckline, her dark hair swept up elegantly. She did look very pretty, and the contrast between the two girls was especially striking then, but as James looked back over at Lily, now giggling up at Sirius and waving her ridiculous slippers around, he couldn't help thinking, No contest.
---
It was a good Christmas, and all the more surprising because Lily hadn't expected it to be. She had no indication of whether or not James had gotten the present she'd left beside his bed, but somehow, it didn't seem to matter; she felt lighter just having given it. She spent the day joking around with Sirius, not-quite-ignoring James, and trying to help Mrs. Potter in the kitchen, although the older woman invariably shooed her away, telling her to go relax.
By evening, everyone had managed to finally change out of pajamas and into Muggle clothes. With presents opened and Mrs. Potter's magnificent Christmas dinner eaten and cleared away, the residents of the Potter household dispersed, more or less finding ways to occupy themselves. Mr. Potter was stoking a fire in the living room while, behind him, Remus and Mrs. Potter some recently popular book, Leda sitting somewhat stiffly with them. Sirius and Peter, last Lily had seen, had been laying on the floor of the kitchen, their hands on their stomachs, groaning.
"I ate too much," Sirius had moaned as Lily passed him, but although she spared him a brief grin, she hadn't answered.
She was wandering somewhat aimlessly through the house, slipping through the living room with a small wave at Remus, and into the room connected to it, which sported a large, sunken window. Behind her, she could just see Remus and Leda through the living room door. Mr. Potter, satisfied with the fire, had stood up, brushing his hands together, as Sirius and Peter dragged themselves around the corner of the room, collapsing once again onto their backs at Remus's feet. Lily wondered if she should join them, but she hesitated, looking back out the window. Outside, the sun had set but the sky was not yet quite dark, and large snowflakes were still drifting softly. She leaned back against wall, watching the snow fall in the gathering blue, when she was suddenly aware that someone had come up beside her.
James was quiet, almost catlike, as he pressed up against the opposite wall, gazing out of the window as well, and being careful, it seemed, not to touch her. She was so surprised he was there that she didn't know what to do or say, and for one panicked moment, she even considered pretending she hadn't seem him.
But then she stopped herself. That's dumb, she chided herself inwardly. You were friends once. It can't be that hard. Relax.
There were another few seconds of silence, but what struck Lily now is that it wasn't an uncomfortable silence; they were just standing there, breathing the same air, comfortably quiet, watching the snow fall.
"It's pretty, isn't it?" she murmured, still looking out the window, and she was surprised to hear herself say it.
"It's beautiful," James responded. Something in his voice made her turn her head to look at him, and he wasn't, as she had thought, looking out at the snow, but at her.
She had a sudden memory of the two of them, last year, standing at a window in Gryffindor Tower and watching a snowstorm just like this, and then a sudden flash of creeping into his room last night, and, Leda or no Leda, she was done holding her tongue.
"James," she said, and it felt like forever since she'd said his name. "About what happened--I just wanted to say--"
"It's okay," he interrupted, holding up a hand. "You don't have to, it was my fault, I--"
"James?"
The third voice made both of them turn, and there, watching them, was Leda, her hands on her hips.
"You look busy," she said, and though she spoke to James, her eyes, narrowed and vicious, were on Lily.
"Not particularly," James said, detaching himself from the wall and facing her. "What's up?"
"I need to talk to you," Leda said caustically. "Do you think you could make the time?"
"Sure," James said, although he looked slightly wary. Leda, with a withering look at Lily, grabbed him by the arm and marched him back through the living room and up the stairs.
Lily, slightly unsettled, watched them go. Then, hardly realizing what she was doing, she took a few steps forward, in the direction they had gone.
"Aw, Evans, I can't believe you're still standing here," she heard from behind her, and looked over her shoulder, completely unsurprised to see Sirius standing there, his hands in his pockets, Remus and Peter grinning behind him.
"What do you mean?" Lily asked innocently.
"Oh, I don't know," Sirius shrugged. "I just would have thought that you'd be up those stairs with your ear pressed against the door by now."
"Yeah, well, I was going to give you a head start," Lily said. They looked at each other, Sirius smirking slowly, and then turned as one and bolted for the stairs, Remus and Peter on their heels.
Lily skidded to a halt on the landing, Sirius slamming into her from behind. She elbowed him without looking, putting a finger to her lips. James's door was ajar, and she and Sirius snuck forward, jostling each other. They could hear Leda's voice faintly coming from the room, and Sirius dropped to his knees to peer through the crack in the door. Lily, bracing a hand on the wall, stood on tiptoes above him while Peter pushed into them both, his hands on Sirius's head as he leaned forward, and Remus scooted in next to Lily.
"I can't see anything," Peter hissed, and both Remus and Lily clapped a hand over his mouth, leaning forward to listen.
"--just don't understand," Leda was saying, the edge of a whine in her voice. "I didn't realize they'd all be here."
"Sirius lives here," James said, sounding vaguely amused, "and Remus and Peter were invited before you were. Where do you think they'd be?"
"I thought it was going to be just us, though," said Leda. "I mean, Remus is fine, and so is Peter, I guess, although he's a little--well, you know."
"No," James said, a little aggressively. "I don't."
"Well, whatever, that's not the point," said Leda. "And I know Sirius lives here, but thought he was just going to stay at school. And I have no idea what Lily Evans is doing here."
Lily had been wondering if her name would come up. Apparently she wasn't the only one; to her surprise, Sirius held his hand up and Remus high-fived him lightly, smiling.
"Why wouldn't she be?" James asked, his voice neutral. "Peter invited her, but we're all friends."
Leda snorted, the most unattractive sound Lily had ever heard her make. "Right," she said, her voice dripping with sarcasm. "You haven't spoken to her or to Sirius in months, and honestly, I think you were better off."
"Oh you do, do you?" asked James, and if Lily hadn't known better, she would have sworn he was on the verge of laughing.
"Of course," Leda said. "I mean, they're awful. They stopped speaking to you because they were jealous of me. You can have better friends. Ones who aren't so opposed to you having a girlfriend."
"I don't really think that's--"
"Yes it is," Leda cut him off. "And they get up to all those stupid pranks. I know one of them is the one who put that Wartcap powder in my clothes, and all the stuff that happens around school? It's so immature, and it's not nearly as funny as they think it is. They just need to grow up."
"Right," James said slowly. "So. Let me get this straight. You don't really like my friends. And you want me to choose between you and them."
"Well I wasn't going to say that," Leda said a little smugly. "But since you brought it up, yeah."
"And you want me to choose you," he said matter-of-factly.
"Obviously."
There was a brief pause, during which Lily dug her fingers into Sirius's shoulder. Then, "Sorry," James said. "It's them."
"What--" Leda started to say, her voice climbing in outrage, but this time James cut her off.
"It's always going to be them," he said. "Always. I should have remembered that sooner."
Sirius's mouth had dropped open in delighted surprise, when they heard Leda say, "I'm leaving. If you mean that, I'm leaving."
There was another moment of hesitation, and then James, sounding much closer to them, said, "Safe travels," and wrenched open the door.
Sirius scrambled backwards as James came outside, shutting the door behind him, but it was too late; James did a double take, looking the four of them over and realizing they'd been there the whole time. Lily tried to hurriedly think up a reason that they were all standing there, but to her surprise, James chuckled.
"Uh," Sirius said. "We're--"
"You'd better get out of here," James advised. "Leda probably won't be too happy to see you out here."
"Duly noted," Sirius said, getting to his feet, and then all five of them bolted.
---
Leda, true to her word, left the next day, packing her bags and Flooing out of the Potter's living room fire without a word to any of them. Lily wasn't sorry to see her go, but she took one look at Peter's shining face and knew that she was far from being the most excited.
Still, the energy around the dinner table that night was higher than it had been all break. Sirius, for one, was more animated than he had been before, chatting excitedly with Remus and, at one point, challenging Mr. Potter to an arm wrestling match. James seemed lighter as well, and though he and Sirius didn't really speak to each other directly, the old tension between them was almost entirely gone.
Finally, at the end of the meal, Sirius put his fork down and looked across the table to where James sat between his mother and Remus. "So," said Sirius, quirking an eyebrow, "are you broken up now or not?"
"Oh, I hope so," said Mrs. Potter, and everyone tried to control their laughter as James turned to his mother with his mouth open.
"Mum!" he said. "You aren't supposed to say stuff like that!"
"Oh, whatever," said Mrs. Potter. "She never said two words to us. Or much of the rest of you."
"Yeah, but still," James said, although he was grinning. "Anyway, I think so. And if we're not, we definitely will be the next time I see her."
There was a collective sigh of relief around the table, and Sirius, grinning wolfishly at Lily, held up his hand, and this time she was the one who high-fived him. "Jeez," James said, "don't act so broken up about it."
"You can do better," Sirius told him. "Need help clearing these dishes, Mrs. Potter?"
She beamed at him as he rose, nudging Lily meaningfully. She got to her feet to help him gather up plates, bringing them into the kitchen. Once it was just the two of them in there, Sirius craned his neck, making sure no one else was coming, and then said, "So? What do you think?"
"What do I think about what?" Lily asked cautiously, putting the dishes in the sink.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "Duh," he said. "Leda? Is gone? James is single? You have a guest room to yourself?"
Lily laughed and threw a towel at him. "Get your mind out of the gutter," she said. "First of all, James is maybe single. Second of all, I've barely spoken to him in months, I'm not just going to go start fawning over him. These things take time."
Sirius groaned. "That's your problem!" he said.
"I don't have a problem," said Lily.
"Yes you do!" Sirius said. "You seem to think that there's some sort of perfect schedule, and that things will work out better if you wait for Merlin-knows how long. And I don't get that. Life's too short."
"Oh, please, Padfoot, we're seventeen!" Lily scoffed. "There's plenty of time."
Sirius seemed to forget what he was going to say, tilting his head and looking at her contemplatively.
"What?" she asked, nonplussed.
"You've never called me Padfoot before," he said softly.
"Oh," Lily said, furrowing her brow. "Wow, I didn't even notice. Huh. I guess that means we're like, friends or something."
Sirius stuck his tongue out at her, and she giggled. Then they both turned to peer back to the people they had left behind. Mr. and Mrs. Potter were directly in their line of sight, bent together, talking intensely about something.
"I wonder how they do that," Sirius mused.
"Do what?" Lily asked.
"I mean, they've been together for so long," Sirius said softly. "How do they still find things to talk about?"
Lily, startled, looked sideways at him. "I don't know," she said, "practice?"
Sirius shrugged. "Maybe. I don't know. My parents have been married for a while and they never have conversations like that. I think these two have lasted so long because they make each other laugh."
Lily didn't say anything, looking back at Mrs. Potter, who was now laughing as Mr. Potter conjured a small rose with his wand and slipped it into her hair. Lily smiled, but then her gaze slipped past the Potters to their son. James was sitting across the table from them, his chin in his hands, watching his parents as Lily was watching him, and she could not bring herself to look away.
---
James had many things on his mind that day, and Leda was the least of them. Lily was first and foremost these days, but before he even let himself think about that, there was something he had to do first.
He was laying in wait by the living room door when Peter passed by. Seizing his chance, James grabbed him by the arm and hauled him into a side room--his father's study, actually, which was used more for decoration than actual work.
"Um," Peter said nervously. "Hi?"
"Hey," James said, shoving his hands awkwardly in his pockets. "Look, I just wanted--I mean, I feel like I--"
He stopped, looking at Peter who was looking at him curiously, and closed his eyes tightly for a minute.
"I'm sorry," he said, opening them again and looking at Peter as sincerely and truthfully as he knew how. I'm so sorry, Pete, about everything these past couple of months--I knew how you felt about Leda, but I did it anyway. I was upset about some stuff with Lily, and Leda was just sort of...there, but that's no excuse. And more than anything else in this whole messed-up term, I'm sorry that I hurt you. If I could only take one thing back, it would be that."
For a long moment, Peter just looked at him impassively. Then he smiled, so gently it was barely a smile, but James would take what he could get.
"It's okay," Peter said. "Thanks."
James, who had been expecting to grovel more, was surprised at this quiet acquiescence. "I know...I mean, it's okay if you're still mad at me," he said. "I would be if I were you. It's your right."
"I'm not, though," Peter said. "I understand. But thanks for saying it."
And with another little smile, he slipped out of the room. James stood there awhile longer, feeling his sudden, surprising absence, and wondering how, somehow, apologizing had made him feel just a little bit worse.
---
Remus was not oblivious to everything that was going on, but unlike everyone else, he felt no need to air his opinions. He didn't make a habit out of eavesdropping, really, but he was observant. He noticed Peter and James go into a room together, and he noticed Peter coming out just a few minutes later, looking blank, while James was dejected when he emerged minutes later.
It didn't take a genius to figure out what had happened in there--James giving an apology that Peter wasn't ready to accept, but wasn't willing to reject either--but Remus couldn't help that his spirits rose upon seeing it, even though neither of them looked particularly happy. But the fact that James had apologized already was a step in the right direction, Remus thought.
"You look moody, Moony," he heard, and looked up to see Sirius standing in front of him.
"Not moody," Remus said. "Thoughtful."
Sirius sank down onto the living room couch beside him. "What about?" he asked.
Remus chewed on his lip for a minute. "Peter," he said finally. "And everything that happened over the past few days. I don't know, but I kind of think that maybe none of it would have, if Peter hadn't brought Lily along. She was the catalyst in a lot of ways."
Sirius thought about this. "Huh," he said. "I guess you're right. Who knew that would happen?"
"Honestly?" Remus answered. "I think Peter did."
Sirius laughed. "Oh, come on," he said. "I think you're giving him too much credit. He just knew having Lily around would make Leda mad."
"I don't think you're giving him enough credit," Remus countered. "I think he knew exactly what he was doing. I think he knew that having Lily around would make James question everything, and Leda would realize it. He manipulated them all into this situation. I just didn't realize it until now."
Sirius raised his eyebrows. "You've got a point," he said. "Wow. Well. I'm impressed. Go Wormtail."
Remus smiled. "Yeah," he said, "I know. Definitely improved the situation."
He looked away as Sirius began to talk about other things. They had underestimated Peter, maybe had been for years. Everything right now seemed to be working out. Peter, for all his moodiness and his fading into the background, had somehow managed to arrange everyone in the best possible way. He really understood people, Remus thought, but for reasons he couldn't name, reasons he was unable or unwilling to make Sirius see, it made him uncomfortable.