Mother's Girl, Father's Girl by abovelevel
Story Notes:
Please, let me know if you enjoyed this story or if you think I could improve anything. -Claire (abovelevel)
1961
Cissy is Mother’s girl. She is quieter than me and Bella. She always washes her face and brushes her hair without ever being reminded. Cissy has easy hair “ it’s straight and blonde and never tangles. Maybe it’s because she is always sitting so still or maybe she’s just lucky.
Bella is Father’s girl. Cissy has the lucky hair, but Bella is much prettier than either of us. I look rather like Bella, but I know I’m not as pretty as her. Bella is smart “ and not just clever in school, but clever with the adults. She always knows what to say and Father is proud. He always says, “Yes, this is my daughter.”
I’m Dromeda. Mopsy says I’m a “good Black” and I think I am, too. I do my lessons every morning, though sometimes I don’t do my maths. I remember to say “please” and “thank you” (most of the time) and I want to be a good daughter to Mother and Father. Everyone always says how lucky I am to be a Black. I think it’s nice.
Sometimes I just wish Father would say that I was his daughter, too.
1965
“Ah, another Black,” the Sorting Hat says. “You’re a clever girl, Miss Andromeda. Very observant, very clever…perhaps Ravenclaw…but you certainly know yourself well. You’ve got your pride, haven’t you? But what to do with you…”
“Slytherin,” I think firmly. “I’m a Black and it’s my right to be in Slytherin.”
“Are you sure, now? You understand things…things that a Slytherin wouldn’t... wouldn’t even notice…”
“I’m a Slytherin,” I mutter, refusing to bend.
“All right,” the Hat concedes. “SLYTHERIN!”
Relieved, I resist the urge to run and walk nicely down to the green and silver table. Bella smiles coldly at me and I sit next to the other first years. I shake hands with my new house-mates and don’t let them see how nervous I was. Of course a Black would be in Slytherin! I can feel Bella glaring at me from behind, but I pretend not to notice.
She pulls me aside later, as the Houses all walk up to their dormitories.
“The Hat took a rather long time with you, Meda,” she spits out. “Did it try to put you in Hufflepuff, you little sod?”
“Father and Mother wouldn’t want you to use that kind of language,” I say, knowing it will annoy her.
Bella is a fourth year and she has changed since she got to school. She comes home talking about the Lestranges and Rowles and all the other nasty boys she is friends with now. I heard her yelling at Father once. They never mentioned it and I never would have noticed otherwise, but things are a bit different between them. He looks at her like she’s not such a little girl anymore.
She thinks she is so big with her new friends. I think she just rude. She ought not to act like she does.
Sometimes, she’s a little scary, but I don’t want her to know that.
“What do they know?” Bella mutters.
I ignore her and lie through my teeth. “Besides, for your information, the Hat put me in Slytherin nearly right away. Where else would I belong?”
Bella glares at me and I feel my heart stop for a moment.
She is still pretty, but her eyes scare me. Someday, I imagine, Bella could be truly terrifying. I won’t be first to look away.
She turns on her heel and snorts at me as she walks away.
“Is that your sister?” one of the other new Slytherins asks me.
I shrug. “Kind of,” I say.
1967
“Andromeda…”
I hear a voice call out from behind me. I’m late to class, so I pretend not hear. It doesn’t sound like anyone I need to talk to.
“Andromeda!” the voice comes again.
I sigh and turn around. A skinny, straight-haired boy is waving at me. I bite my lip trying to remember his name. He looks familiar, but I suppose I never needed to know who he was.
“Hello,” I say politely.
“Hey!” he says, running up next to me. “Why did you drop Muggle Studies?”
“Oh.”
I tuck my hair behind my ear. I’d signed up for Muggle Studies slightly out of interest and partly because I wanted to see what Bella would do. And, to be honest, I wanted to see if I would get in trouble with Mother and Father.
Bella had ranted and raved and generally made a fuss. Bella had always had straight hair, but in the past few years it had started curling. I told her it was because of how bothered she always got, but that had just made her angrier and Mother very silent.
Father had given me a short speech on how this was “not the time to be messing around” and told me that I would drop the class, which I did.
I went to class for two weeks before they switched my schedule and it was all right. I don’t really know what I think of it.
“I didn’t have time in my schedule,” I say. “Sorry, I’ve got to go to class.”
“Oh,” the boy says. “Erm, all right then. We just wondered. You were really funny.”
I smile primly and walk away, but secretly I’m pleased. No one’s ever called me “funny” before.
1971
The sky is dark as I walk across the courtyard, trying to keep the rain out of my eyes. My NEWT Ancient Runes class is small, so I should be more worried about not having done the homework, but I’m just not.
No one has said anything, but I know things are different. I thought perhaps it was just in my house, but as I arrive at school I can feel it everywhere. It is whispers and silent glances and hushes as we dash around school, everyone feeling the weight of what is going to happen.
What is going to happen?
I know that there have been Muggle deaths. I think Bella knows something about it. I know Father knows something about it. I hear them talking and I see the men that arrive late at night, apparating right into our living room and leaving only in the early hours of the morning.
Mother does not get involved. She hustles Cissy upstairs and tells her not to worry. She knows that I cannot be put off so easily, but, in truth, I do not want to know. I just want it to all go away. I want Bella to wear her hair down instead of in that tight, harsh bun and Father to host his parties instead of pulling down our curtains so that the sun won’t dare enter our house.
Cissy and Mother still go out sometimes, to nice dinners and to Christmas Ball at the Malfoy’s, where Cissy comes back smiling widely. Mother asks me to come, but I think she knows I won’t. It feels wrong to be dancing.
Bella and Father are too busy for parties. They are gone constantly and I worry that I’m right when I guess what they’re doing. Once, Bella asked me if I wanted to come with her. I was so shocked I couldn’t even reply. She looked at me in disgust.
“You’re still just a weakling,” she’d muttered.
“I’m not,” I said, though I didn’t even believe myself. If I was strong, shouldn’t I say something to her?
I don’t even know what I would want to say.
They are gone for days at a time and, one night, Bella comes home positively gleeful. Father looks at her like he did when we were little girls, as if he is just so proud to have her as a daughter.
The look makes me sick. I worry what has happened. Even though Bella is happy, her grimace of a smile scares me. As they walk in the door, Father nods at me though Bella doesn’t say a word.
Cissy is still Mother’s girl and Bella is still Father’s.
1972
I spend a lot of time in Flourish and Blotts over the summer. One day, I’m reading quietly in the history section when a blonde, grinning store worker walks up beside me.
“Hello, Andromeda,” he says. I nearly drop the book as I look up, but gather myself quickly.
“Good afternoon,” I say.
We stand in silence for a moment, me wondering why he came over.
“You don’t remember me,” he finally says.
“I’m sorry,” I say, suddenly defensive.
“It’s all right,” he says. “Ted Tonks. I was in your class at school.”
I remember his name vaguely “ he was a Muggle-born and a Hufflepuff and not exactly someone I would have been seen with. But I recall he was in NEWT Charms - he always seemed to be a chapter behind.
I stiffen. “Good to see you,” I say.
Bella never has a problem spitting at Muggle-borns or anyone she thinks she shouldn’t have to talk to. Mother prefers to ignore them while Cissy usually just runs behind Father’s or Lucius’s shoulder. But I’ve always held that if I have to be polite to those slimy Ministry wizards that Father so likes, I can certainly manage a polite greeting to even the dirtiest Muggle-borns.
Ted seems to take my greeting as an invitation to sit down and start discussing my book. He isn’t smart exactly, not in the way the Ravenclaws are, but he’s interesting. He knows little facts and he tells them like they are the most important stories in the world. At first, I am not sure if I should respond, but Ted is relentless. He seems oblivious to my rigid nods.
In time, I can’t help but smile. It feels like I haven’t smiled in a long time.
It is dark and grim at home, but Ted is grinning and laughing at his own jokes. I wonder if he even knows what is going on out there.
I’m not sure if I should be talking to him “ I don’t even know who he is. But I want to. And surely nobody has to find out. We talk about everything from Merlin to the Goblin Rebellions to the new runes found in the Sahara.
My favorite thing about Ted is that he always asks my opinions and when I say them he looks at me like what I say matters. I come back day after day and so does he. Sometimes, I can feel him staring at me across the shop. I feel guilty. Mother would be distraught if she knew I was keeping company with someone so unsuitable.
One day I tell him so.
“I don’t think we should be friends anymore,” I say. I hold my breath, not sure what he will say “ not sure what I want him to say.
My heart sinks when he responds. “I don’t think we should be friends either,” he says easily.
I start to walk away when I feel him grab my shoulder and turn me around. And suddenly his hands are tangled in my hair and mine are around his shoulders and we’re kissing and kissing and all I can think is “please let time stop right now; please don’t let this end.”
1973
“I won’t,” I say. “I don’t want to and you will not change my mind, Ted Tonks.”
“Darling,” he says. “I don’t imagine even a hurricane could change your mind. But I still think you should tell them. They should know their daughter is getting married.”
Ted thinks I should tell Mother and Father and somehow, I know he is right. But I don’t want and I’m sick of having to do thing I don’t want to do. I am sick of being stuck. I am going to be with Ted whether Mother and Father know or not “ whether they want it or not.
I glare at him. “Fine,” I say. “But I’m going to be mad at you.”
He smiles. “If it’s what you want to do.”
When we Apparate onto the front steps, I tell Ted to stay outside.
“Even if they’re mad, Father won’t curse me,” I say. “But he’ll do you before we even say a word.”
But Ted shakes his head resolutely. I feel guilty, but secretly pleased. I want Ted by my side.
When we walk into the hall, Bella is waiting for me.
“What is that,” she hisses, glaring daggers at Ted. I feel proud as he matches her glance. I grab his hand and Bella eyebrows nearly fly off her face.
I hear Father walk around the corner and suddenly I can’t move “ Bella is shouting curses and Father is running, wand in hand; I see Mother and Cissy cowering in the corner and lights are flashing everywhere.
Ted pulls on my hand and I hear an urgent whisper but my feet are stuck. Bella is screaming and screaming and all I notice is that her hair is so unkempt it looks as if it might fall out. Then Ted is pulling on my hand even harder and suddenly I hear a shout…
“CYGNUS!”
It’s Mother.
Then a big, red beam is flying towards us and Ted has me wrapped in his arms and all I can think is “anywhere but here,” and then we’re spinning, spinning, spinning…
We land outside Ted’s apartment and I stare up at him in horror.
“Ted…”
“It’s all right, Meda. It’s all right,” he says. “We’re okay. It’s okay.”
“It’s not,” I say, pulling away. Suddenly, I’m angry. “I stood there like a complete prat. Bella was right - I’m just weak.”
I want to punch something. Ted grabs my arm, hard, and pulls me so that I’m looking directly at him.
“Andromeda Black,” he says. “You are the strongest person I know. I may fancy calling you my girl sometimes, but truth is you’re nobodies’ girl. Not many people have the courage to be exactly themselves but you are you and that is my favorite thing about you.”
Eloquence was never Ted’s strength, but I’m not angry anymore. I am just tired, so tired. I lie down on Ted’s shoulder and feel tears start to fall. There is no going back. I will miss Mother; I will miss Cissy. I will miss them so much.
But I am not Mother’s girl. And I’m not Father’s girl. Mother never took me to parties and Father never let me join in his meetings and “jobs.” I was not the prettiest of my sisters, nor the sweetest, nor the cleverest. Bella got more NEWTS than I did and Cissy’s marriage will be the one they’re proud of.
I don’t suppose I’ve done anything in particular. I’m just Andromeda Black. I am who I am and someone loves me for it. That is a lot to be happy for. Yes, from here on out, I just want to be happy. I will be happy.