~~~*“I’m sorry.”
“I’m not interested.”
“I’m sorry!”
“Save your breath.”
It was nighttime. Lily, who was wearing a dressing gown, stood with her arms folded in front of the portrait of the Fat Lady, at the entrance to Gryffindor Tower.
‘I only came out because Mary told me you were threatening to sleep here.”
“I was. I would have done. I never meant to call you Mudblood, it just ””
“Slipped out?” There was no pity in Lily’s voice. “It’s too late.
“I’ve made excuses for you for years. None of my friends can understand why I even talk to you. You and your precious little Death Eater friends”you see, you don’t even deny it! You don’t even deny that’s what you’re all aiming to be! You can’t wait to join You-Know-Who, can you?
He opened his mouth but closed it without speaking.
“I can’t pretend anymore. You’ve chosen your way, I’ve chosen mine.”
“No ” listen, I didn’t mean “”
“”to call me Mudblood? But you call everyone of my birth Mudblood, Severus. Why should I be any different?”*~~~
(Pages 675 and 676 of Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows, Chapter Twenty-three: The Prince’s Tale. American Hardcover Edition)
She turned on her heel and purposefully strode back to the portrait hole. Tears stung her eyes and threatened to spill out. Breaking off her friendship with Severus wasn’t as easy as she had tried to make him believe. The Fat Lady gave her a sympathetic look; she had heard the fight that had just taken place.
Lily told the portrait the password, and it swung open on its hinges, admitting her entrance to the concealed common room. The room had been in an uproar, but somehow the squeak of the portrait hinges cut through the room like a warning. Her housemates abruptly fell silent, and Lily knew they were discussing her.
How many times had she done exactly what they were doing now? Did she never realize how alone and vulnerable it made you feel, walking into a silent common room, that you knew, just seconds ago, was being torn apart by noise? She slowly turned her head in disbelief. Past the seventh years, sitting comfortably in the chairs next to the fire, prime seats reserved just for them; by the third years huddled in the corner, pouring over books and parchment. She could hear the scratch of the second years’ quills as they started to get back to work. Gradually, the noise level was growing as nosy people turned back to their gossip filled dialogues. The noise quickly dropped again, and heads shot back up to see the action.
Mary, Lily’s best friend, came and put a comforting arm around her shoulder. Lily shrugged it off. Mary had always been opposed her friendship with Severus Snape. All her friends disapproved.
Hoping Severus had left, she fled the common room and their hopeful stares-they all wanted the friendship terminated. She wanted to be left alone, even though they were dying to hear the friendship was no longer. Feeling a new rush of tears, Lily ran up an adjacent tower, counting the steps as she went. 326…327…328… Normally the idea calmed her, helping her organize her thoughts. Today was different. She was a mess. 418…419…420…421. Lily had reached the top of the spiraling staircase. She pushed open the heavy doors with a grunt and the frosty air wrapped around her. She was glad she had her cloak with her, but Lily was still a bit chilly. She could see her breath, fogging up the air in front of her face, and glancing out the window, she could see snow falling. The snow made her smile. It reminded her of a simpler time.
Suddenly, she was crying. Lily slid down the freezing wall as sobs shook her petite frame as she clearly remembered catching snowflakes on her tongue with Sev. They had so many memories. He was her first friend, besides ‘Tuney, of course. Severus had played with her as a child, and he had told her she was a witch. Their friendship had always been rocky-she wouldn’t deny that-but somehow it always stuck through. She could replay every conversation they had ever had-the good-and the bad. She could remember every time someone had picked on him, and all the time she had stuck up for him.
She was so lost in her memories that when Lily felt a cold wind blow through the tower room, she ignored it; not even realizing the doors open and close with a soft whisper as someone slowly crept into the room. She didn’t even look up when she heard the footsteps softly approaching across the stone. She was jerked out of her memories with a start when the intruder started to speak to her.
“All right, Evans?” he asked her cautiously, waiting for her to lash out like she always did.
Lily noticed his apprehension and felt guilty. She knew he expected her to dismiss him. For some reason, not even the great Lily Evans could explain, but for some reason, she wanted him to stay. She shook her head carefully to answer his question.
“I can stay if you want…” James Potter offered. “Or I can just leave…” He trailed off. Even with tangled hair and tearstained cheeks she was beautiful to him.
Lily didn’t say anything for a while and he started to turn around to leave. Lily hoarsely called out, “Stay…please.” James noticed her voice sounded slightly strangled from crying.
James looked at her in astonishment. He crossed the tower in three great strides and slowly sat down next to Lily. He felt her lean into him and James slowly put his strong arm around her. Lily began to sob again, and James couldn’t help himself. He lifted her frail body into his arms and moved her to his lap. Pleasantly surprising him, she didn’t object and instead grabbed the front of his shirt, soaking it with her tears. James held Lily to him and slowly rocked back and forth, stroking her hair, and telling her it would be alright.
And for the first time in her life, Lily Evans believed the arsehole.
For The First Time In Her Life... by hplvr1
Story Notes:
I do not own any of the characters, they all belong to J.K. Rowling. The quote at the beginning of the story is also hers.
Anything you don't recognize, I can take credit for!
Chapter Endnotes: My first James and Lily fic! I hoped you enjoyed it! Please review! it would make me feel wonderful inside, even if your just pointing out mistakes! Thanks!