“Give me my scallop shell of quiet,
My staff of faith to walk upon,
My scrip of joy, immortal diet,
My bottle of salvation,
My gown of glory, hope’s true gauge,
And thus I’ll take my pilgrimage.”
-Excerpt from The Passionate Man’s Pilgrimage by Sir Walter Raleigh
****
They neared the living room, and Ron stopped, turning towards her thoughtfully.
“Can you wait a moment, Hermione? I have something for you.”
She sank into the couch, wrapping herself up in the comforter. The fire was lit with a lazy flick of his wand, while he reached into his trouser pocket.
“I found this a couple of days ago, and I thought of you.” He pulled out a necklace that was endowed with a fine gold chain, and at the bottom was a scallop shell. Ron offered it with trembling hands, and her finger traced the outline of her initials that were delicately engraved onto the surface.
“It’s absolutely perfect, how did you-?”
“Trust me, it wasn’t easy, I must have ruined a dozen before I finally got it right. May I?”
Nodding, Hermione pulled her hair back and turned around obediently. In a heartbeat, he undid the clasp with tremulous fingers and got it around her neck.
“Hermione, what is that?” She shivered as goose bumps erupted on her body at his touch.
“What?” She tried to gather her thoughts, which had been thrown into a frenzied mess of cognition.
“This.” His index finger carved a path across her shoulder blade, and her knees nearly buckled as her bones had suddenly became as limp as overcooked pasta.
“What is it Ron?”
He didn’t reply, and she tried twisting around to see what he was talking about.
“A scar.” His husky voice was a mere breath of a whisper.
“Don’t be silly, I’ve always had that, surely you remember-”
“That’s not the one I’m talking about. These-” She could feel his probing stares burning into her back as he discovered more and more.
“Bloody hell, Hermione-” He was scared, she could tell. Guiltily, she faced him, but not quite meeting his eyes.
“Do you know how those got there?” he asked slowly.
She shook her head resolutely, tears starting to fall. He studied her, anxiety etched into every crevice on his face. “You can tell me anything, you know that, right?”
“I don’t want to talk about it, alright? Just drop it.” Hermione started to walk back to her room. He took her arm, gently restraining her.
“It doesn’t make any sense,” he started delicately. “That curse wasn’t supposed to leave any-”
“I don’t know Ron, alright? All I remember was her t-torturing me and then I was close to passing out-t and t-then G-greyback was standing over me…” Teardrops now pouring down in torrents, she tugged her arm away.
How could she keep something like this from me? He deliberated this as he watched her wrap her arms around herself, whether for warmth or some other reason, he wasn’t sure.
He can’t stand to be near me Hermione thought, trying to hold back the sorrow that clogged her throat, suffocating her. I never wanted him to see that, how could I be so stupid?
“How did you know about them?” Ron inquired softly, coming toward her.
Should I really tell him more? Do I really need to hurt him more than I have already?
“I-I heard Fleur that night, before I went to see Dobby’s grave with you lot. She thought I was still asleep, but I heard every word.”
“I’m sorry, Hermione.”
“Don’t be thick,” she said in a stuffy voice. “It wasn’t your fault, there wasn’t anything you could do.”
“Let me help you.”
“How?”
“Come over and I’ll show you.”
Intrigued, she did as she was told and sat down next to him.
“What’re you going to do, Ron?”
“I want to help, and this is the only way. Whatever happens, Hermione, just don’t-don’t look away.”
There was a gasp as it dawned on her what he was about to do. Hermione shut her eyes and moved away from him. “I can’t let you do that, it’s not right…. You’ve been through so much already-”
“I can handle it, I was there that night, wasn’t I?”
She still didn’t look convinced.
“ I’ll be fine, I promise.”
“No, there’s no point-”
“No point, Hermione! For Merlin’s sake, you don’t think I see what happens to you every night you’re here-”
“What are you saying, were you spying on me in my sleep or something?!”
“No” Ron shot back defensively. “It was because, because I was worried about you.”
Worried about me? What the hell is he on about?
“I-” He looked down at his trainers, the tips of his ears starting to redden. “I have…err…dreams about you, about that night and sometimes… I get nervous about you, no matter where you are.”
The silence was deafening; only the mournful sound of the surf pounding the shoreline was heard.
“Ron, you’ve got nothing to be worried about. I’m fine, really. I’m alive, maybe a little scarred, but the worst is over now. We’re safe.”
“You’re not okay, and neither am I; we both know that.”
“Please, just trust me Hermione. It’ll all turn out. Let me help you.” His indigo irises were begging for confirmation.
I can’t do this to him, what if he can’t handle it, he can’t make me do this…
“I won’t force you, I know it’ll just make things worse if I do.”
“Ron, I just-” she looked away from him and continued quietly, “I don’t know if I can.”
He took her hand and squeezed it in response.
“It’ll be different this time, this time we’ll be together.”
Ron saw the fear flicker to life on her face, but there was something else as well, a look of determination, a hell-bent ferocity that he had never seen before in her.
“There’s one condition.”
“What’s that?”
“Once you see what I saw that night, I get to see what you saw that night.”
“You know Legilimency?”
She gave him with such a typical, Hermione-ish expression that he couldn’t help but smile.
“Honestly Ron, d’you really think that while Snape was giving Harry lessons back in our fifth year I wasn’t going to read up on it, or even practice it on my own?”
When all she got was a blank look she pressed on.
“Ginny even let me try it on her a couple of times.”
“So you’re sure?”
She took a steadying breath, and nodded. He could see her arm trembling against the cushions.
Ron gave her an encouraging smile, and locked his eyes onto hers. Pointing his wand, he whispered “Legilimens!”
A Mourning to Remember by hermy008
Chapter Endnotes: cliffhanger much!? anyway, you'll have to wait until the next chapter to see what really went down that night. hope u guys liked it! comments/reviews are greatly appreciated. :D