If only they could see
If only they had been here
They would understand
How someone could have chosen
To go the length I’ve gone…
Cayman Islands
Kings of Convenience
The Great Hall was packed with people.
Harry wandered amongst them, a ghost. He passed the injured, the dead and those who mourned them; he bowed his head, ashamed and afraid to see their faces. It was all too much to bear. But he had to find her.
She stood near Ginny, a blank expression on her face. Harry knew what she was feeling, for he felt it as well - the emptiness, the loss, the despair, and, most of all, the hopelessness. It would all be over soon.
“Come with me, Hermione,” said Harry. It didn’t matter that Ginny and Ron needed her; there would be a lifetime for mourning, hurt and comfort for them. Not for Harry, though. Wordlessly, she followed.
…………………………
They sat in silence, both timidly staring at the floor, eyes glazed over with weariness. It had been this way since Ron left.
Harry glanced at Hermione. Her beautiful face was wrought with fear and sadness. The journey had taken a heavy toll on them both, but Hermione was hit especially hard by Ron’s abandonment. Things seemed hopeless, Harry knew, but he couldn’t bear to see her this way. He never wanted her to be unhappy, especially over something he’d done.
A song came on the radio. Without thinking, Harry got up and walked over to Hermione. He extended his hand for a dance, a goofy grin on his face. Looking slightly amused, and wearing what may have been her first smile in days, Hermione accepted.
They danced. They tripped and stumbled and laughed until their cheeks hurt. Suddenly, there was no Voldemort, no Horcruxes, no pain and no death. It was just them, smiling and laughing and being two homesick teenagers. And it was beautiful.
The music slowed, and soon they stood completely still, locked in a close embrace. Harry needed to kiss her, to tell her how he felt and to reassure her that everything was going to be all right. He needed to be with her. But he couldn’t. Not with what he had to do. Not with what lurked outside the walls of that tent, waiting to attack.
They broke away. Hermione returned to her bunk.
“I need to be strong,” thought Harry. “For her.”
…………………………
The hallway was empty and silent, and they stood next to an ancient statue, hidden from view. Harry gazed into Hermione’s deep, brown eyes. She looked worried, confused and impossibly lovely. Throughout all these years, and in spite of all he’d faced, Hermione had given him the strength to live. Now, she would give him the strength to die.
But would he have the courage to face this last challenge?
“Harry…” questioned Hermione, but she was cut short.
Harry kissed her, and he experienced a magic beyond any he’d felt before. He glimpsed a new Letter, a new Hogwarts, new spells and new adventures. This was a new world Harry had never seen “ a world of love. But he knew it could never be.
Harry broke the kiss and saw that the fear and sadness in Hermione’s eyes had been dulled, replaced with something new and different. Was it… could it have been…?
“Hermione,” Harry began, “it’s all been for you. All of it. All the trials I’ve faced, the ‘bravery’ I’ve shown…” Harry paused, collecting himself as his mind began to go numb. “Facing Quirrell, the Basilisk, the Dementors, winning the Triwizard Cup, dueling at the Ministry and Hogwarts, searching for the Horcruxes “ I wanted to make you proud, to protect you, to keep you safe.”
Hermione’s eyes began to fill with tears. She turned away, burying her face in her sleeves, but Harry caught her cheek and looked into her eyes.
“On the Quidditch pitch, in that graveyard, on the rocks of that lonely sea-cave,” said Harry, now smiling warmly, “you were with me. You were always with me, no matter what. But… now I need to go it alone.”
Harry braced himself just in time to catch Hermione in his arms. She buried her face in his chest, clutching his robes, while sobs wracked her body. Harry held her tightly, resting his head against hers and whispering to her.
“Shh, ‘Mione… it’s all right.”
He didn’t know how long they held each other, but he could sense that the Time was fast approaching. With all the strength he had left, he forced himself to separate from her.
He held her by the waist as he prepared to complete the most difficult task of his life. He would gladly have faced ten Hungarian Horntails or spent 100 summers with the Dursley’s if it meant he didn’t have say goodbye to Hermione.
“It has to be this way,” breathed Harry, struggling to hold back the tears. “Voldemort is going to be defeated. We’re going to win this.”
Harry forced a smile. He wasn’t sure who he was trying to convince.
“You’ve been everything to me, Hermione. And, the truth is…”
Harry paused. This was the End.
“… I love you. I always have.”
The pain was growing unbearable, but Harry forced himself to continue.
“I wish I could have told you sooner. I wish things had turned out differently, and ““ Harry stopped himself. He had to commit to his destiny, to push away childish fantasies. “No. It’s best this way." Harry sighed, pushing a strand of hair out of Hermione’s face. “Be good, stay out of trouble “ look after Ron for me, ok?” he said, laughing softly. “Maybe, someday, we’ll see each other again. Good… Goodbye, Hermione.”
Harry turned quickly; he couldn’t stand to look at Hermione any longer. The pain was like nothing he’d ever experienced “ it felt as though his heart had been ripped in two. Harry would welcome death, now. He needed it.
Hermione caught him halfway to the entrance, pulling him into a kiss. Harry felt himself being lifted, felt the feeling come back to his body and the pain in his heart subside. Hermione kissed him deeply, passionately, pouring her soul into his, giving him her strength.
“I love you too, Harry,” she whispered, staring into the green depths of his eyes. “And I always will.”
Why Do You Live? by InkHeartless
Story Notes:
Not a song fic, but the mood is inspired by the incredible music of Kings of Convenience. Had to write this after that scene in the latest movie (go David Yates!). Just a bit AU - there may have been feelings, but there's no H/R or H/G. Hope you dudes like it.