Darkness. Nothing but darkness. It was coming. It was quiet and final. "This is it," thought Remus Lupin as the darkness enveloped his mind. "I'm dying." The darkness continued to advance until there was just a pinprick of light in the consuming dark. Remus tried to think, but his mind didn't seem to be able to move faster than a flobberworm. Darkness. Nothing but darkness. Coming; consuming. He didn't want to die. He had so much to live for, but there was no stopping the darkness now. It continued to come.
Remus watched the light. It remained still and far off, but the darkness was approaching it. It was shrinking even as he watched, and Remus knew that when the light flickered out, he would be dead. Smaller and smaller it faded away. Death would come soon. He tried to think of the world he would leave behind and his thoughts fled immediately to his family. He saw them standing there. Dora, with her hair an outrageous shade of pink, was smiling up at him. And Teddy, their baby son, with his tiny hand wrapped around Remus' finger. They were his world. And he would never see them again. He wished that he could tell them he loved them one last time. The light seemed to flicker in the distance. The darkness had nearly destroyed it. It shrunk still smaller and smaller. Remus watched it go and held the picture of his loved ones firmly in his mind. The light was about to give out. It couldn't survive much longer. The darkness was coming faster now. Stealing more of the light with each passing moment. Remus stared hard at the light. The light seemed to stare right back. It was as small as it could get. The next blow from the darkness would finish it off. Now, now he would die. The darkness went charging at the light, and Remus waited for the darkness to consume him fully. The darkness crept even closer. The light winked out…and then it exploded.
Where a moment ago had been only darkness, now there was light. The flickering candle that Remus had been watching seemed to have blown apart. The explosion did not feel like defeat, but more like an attack on the darkness. Colorful swirls of light streaked all around him, and he felt that he would go blind from the brightness of it all. The darkness was in retreat. The roles were reversed, and the light began to swallow it up.
Completely surrounded by the fiery light, Remus stood staring at the sparks and flashes around him. He had no idea what was happening, but he suspected that it was better than the darkness. Maybe he had just been saved from death, or maybe he was really dead. It didn't appear that he got much say in the matter, but if there were a chance that he could live he would fight with all he was to return to his beloved wife and son.
The light now seemed to be circling him. It drifted around him and grew ever closer. On an impulse, Remus reached out and touched the swirling mass of light. The change was instantaneous. Remus felt as though he had just plunged into an icy lake. Now along with the light, images were swirling around him. People and places he recognized spun around him. He saw his parents and family members. He saw the farm he had lived on as a child. The pictures swam around him and the people in them moved about their lives. Remus glanced upwards and found a window into his first year at Hogwarts. He saw himself as an eleven-year-old standing with his three new best friends. All were laughing and smiling. He saw images from all different points in his life; the Order of Phoenix's first meeting, long nights spent in the Shrieking Shack, his year teaching Defense Against the Dark Arts at Hogwarts, he even caught a glimpse of the night he became a werewolf at the age of nine. Remus felt like he was in a giant pensieve, watching all of his memories take shape around him. He continued to watch the images swirl around him. He saw old friends and people he knew to be dead. He saw battles that he had fought over the years and enemies that he had killed. Remus looked around at the pictures of his life, and then he saw her. There she was, gazing up at him her brown eyes sparkling. Remus reached out to her and his fingers brushed the swirl of light.
Again there was a change, and Remus felt himself being thrust into the memory. He spiraled down until he felt his feet touch solid ground. He glanced around and recognized the house where he was. Number twelve Grimmauld Place, Sirius Black's house and a meeting place for the Order of the Phoenix. He also recognized the people in the room. One was one of his best friends, Sirius Black; Remus felt the old grief come over him, Sirius would not live a year after this. The only other person in the room was a younger Remus Lupin. It had only been three years ago and Remus guessed that he still looked about the same, though he suspected that he had a little more grey hair now. Remus watched himself and his friend. They were in one of the upper rooms of Grimmauld Place and they were discussing the rebirth of the Order. Remus listened to what they were saying, he remembered the conversation and he also remembered what happened after it.
"We've rounded up all of the old members," Sirius said, "the ones that aren't dead. And we've got some new recruits joining. Maybe this time we can stop him before he's started."
"Who is Mad-Eye bringing? He mentioned having some friends from the Ministry who were interested." It was a surreal experience to hear himself speaking.
"I don't know, but he said that he would bring them in sometime today."
The two men began to walk downstairs and Remus followed his double. About halfway down one of the twisted staircases he heard the sound of the doorknocker rapping hard against the wood. The two men in front of him rushed down the stairs and Remus hurried after them. Sirius surged on ahead to open the door and the memory Remus followed after him at a slower pace. The portrait of Sirius's mother had been awakened by the noise and she began to howl.
"Traitorous son! Werewolf monster! Disgrace upon my house!"
Sirius opened the door and there stood a ferocious looking man with a wooden leg and a swiveling glassy blue eye. Remus frowned. Another man who would later die fighting Voldemort. Mad-Eye Moody's glass eye took in the men in front of him and the screaming portrait as he stepped into the room. He beckoned to the people behind him that had until that time been hidden from Remus's view. He couldn't see them, but he knew who they were. "Hurry up," growled Moody to the people behind him. "Can't stand outside for the Muggle neighbors to gawk at." Sirius stepped out of the way as Moody and his followers came inside. He rushed to cover the portrait of his shrieking mother.
"Filth in my house! Disgrace to the House of Black! Slime and…." Sirius pulled the curtains tightly shut over the picture and Mrs. Black grew silent. Remus stood next to his doppelganger and waited for the others to enter.
After Moody came a tall man with a shaved head and dark skin. He wore elegant purple robes and had a commanding presence. Kingsley Shacklebolt, a great Auror and a good man, Remus knew him well. After their initial meeting they had worked together on many fronts including the last battle Remus could remember, the one at Hogwarts. Remus knew that he had fought and been injured or perhaps killed during the battle, but the details were a little fuzzy. He hoped that Kingsley was all right.
Finally, came the person that Remus had been waiting for. The person whom he had reached through the memory to. Following Kingsley through the door of Number Twelve Grimmauld Place came a young woman with bright pink hair. Her dark eyes were full of excitement as she looked all around her.
Remus tore his gaze from her long enough to take a look at his own face three years ago. He could have laughed at himself. His expression was one of curiosity and his eyes followed her every movement including the one bad step that sent her hurtling into the troll leg umbrella stand that was positioned near the door. The umbrella stand went crashing to the floor and the woman went flying….right towards Remus. He reached toward her before realizing that as merely a bystander he could do nothing. His younger self, though, stepped forward and managed to catch her before she too crashed to the floor. Remus watched as she turned her face up to his double. Her hair slowly changed to a shade of red as though it was blushing, and her dark eyes stared up into his own. Her lips struggled to form words but she finally managed a squeaky, "Hi."
Remus watched himself have the same difficulty speaking. "Are you all right?" When she nodded shakily he continued, "Hi. I'm Remus Lupin."
The woman gazed into his eyes. Remus saw a trace of recognition, but not the usual fear that accompanied this statement. "I'm Tonks," she said quietly. "Sorry. I..uh.. tripped."
"It was a dumb place to put an umbrella stand. But then you met my mother just now. She probably wanted someone to trip over it." Sirius's voice seemed to bring Tonks and the memory Remus back to reality. Remus watched as his double realized that he was still holding Tonks and as they awkwardly nodded and smiled at each other.
Remus watched them and wondered. "Did I know then that I would fall so completely in love with her? Did she know the same about me?" He remembered denying that he loved her and trying to protect her from what he was sure was an awful mistake. Would he ever be able to tell Dora he loved her again? He knew he hadn't done it enough before. What he wouldn't do for another chance.
Out of the Darkness by phoenix_song197
Story Notes:
Chapter Four is here! Please read and give me your thoughts in a review!
Chapter Endnotes: Please review and tell me what you think.