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I'm With You by TheSilverEagle

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Chapter Notes: It's been a long time! A thank you as well as an apology to my beta, Dani, for proof-reading this only to have lazy me wait months to post it. Updates will be more frequent in the summer, when I don't have school. Once again, sorry for the wait!
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–I don’t think she blames you.”

–Yeah she does, Padfoot. You saw the way she was looking at me. ‘You make everyone else around you miserable,’” James said in a high-pitched voice imitating Lily’s.

James and Sirius were sitting in two chairs across from each other in the Gryffindor Common Room, passing a snitch back and forth. It was early evening just before dinnertime. There were several students present as well, but the room remained relatively quiet.

James opened up his palm to release the snitch and Sirius caught it.

–You know she’s wrong, though,” Sirius continued. –The only person you make miserable is yourself.”

James gave a hollow laugh. –Yeah, but I’m pretty sure she was talking about old Snivelly, Padfoot. I don’t think she’d take points away for me hexing myself. She’d probably encourage it.”

–Whatever gets us the House Cup this year,” Sirius said solemnly.

James face split into a smile. –Shut up.”

Sirius followed James’ lead, laughing as well. –You know I’m kidding, Prongs.”

–Sure I do,” James laughed.

Sirius flopped back in his chair and ran his fingers through his curly black hair.

–I’m tired of this.”

James stashed the squirming snitch in his pocket before replying, –What does that mean?”

–You’re so madly in love with Lily, mate. Emphasis on madly. I think she’s becoming more of an obsession.” Sirius sighed. –I just don’t get it. She’s never liked you and you still keep chasing after her. If I were you, I’d have given up a long time ago.”

–It’s a good thing you aren’t me, then,” James said, no longer laughing. –Tell me something that will cheer me up.”

Sirius laughed wearily. –I’ve tried. All afternoon, in case you’ve forgotten.”

–Has Moony found anything?” James persisted.

–No idea. I think he’s in the library though, if you want to go look for him.”

James shook his head. –Nah, I’d rather stay up here where it’s quiet.”

–The library is quiet,” Sirius yawned as he slowly rose from his seat and flopped onto the nearest couch.

–My legs are tired!” James said defensively. What he really meant was he didn’t want to risk running into Lily and have another confrontation; she’d been so quick to pull her wand on Sirius, James didn’t doubt she would do it again to him. James knew that no matter what she did, he wouldn’t hex her back, which made her even more dangerous.

–Whatever, mate.” Those were the last words before Sirius drifted off to sleep, into a world that was all his own.

James remained in his seat, marveling at the fact that Sirius could fall asleep anywhere, anytime. Peter was the same way. James, however, had to be in his own warm bed to catch any sleep at all. He once spent the night as Sirius’ house, but found it difficult to relax after seeing the decapitated elves mounted in the hallway. James told this to Sirius, and he understood immediately. He also admitted to sometimes having the same problem himself. From then on the pair either slept at James’ house or camped in the woods behind Grimmauld Place, which for both of them was an improvement to staying inside the structure itself.

James finally stood up from his chair and stretched. After subconsciously ruffling his hair, he began to make his way toward the boys’ dormitories, intending to catch a nap as well.

That’s when he saw Lily. His stomach gave a leap, and his first instinct was to run for it. However, James couldn’t help noticing her puffy red eyes and how she was sniffling. She was obviously crying, or at least had been, and James felt a wave of guilt wash over him. She appeared to be scribbling profusely on a piece of parchment, and he wondered what she could possibly be writing.

James got to stare at her for a total of maybe fifteen seconds before she looked up at him suddenly, making his jump. It took her a moment to remember how angry she was at him, and before James had time to duck, sheets of parchment folded themselves into perfect, angry little airplanes and zoomed straight for his head, chasing him up to the dormitory and making the other Gryffindors roar with laughter.

It wasn’t until James was safely in his dormitory that he noticed one of the little parchment airplanes had followed him into his room, and was now zipping this way and that all over the dormitory. Furious, James chased it around the room, tripping over his trunk and a pair of shoes and nearly tearing the curtains off of Peter’s bed before he caught the flying object. The airplane ceased struggling immediately, sensing defeat.

–Nice job. I thought you were supposed to be a Chaser,” Douglas sneered from his four-poster bed across the room.

–Shut up, Doug. I’m not in the mood,” James snapped angrily before he flopped on his own bed and drew the curtains.

Gingerly flattening out the piece of parchment, James noticed curly, beautiful writing that was unmistakably Lily’s. It said:

–You’ve been my longest, dearest friend. There aren’t words for how sorry I am about what happened.”


This was clearly not intended for his eyes, and James felt a pang in his chest. This must have been a letter to Snivellus, and apology of sorts. But for what? James felt another pang. If Snape had been there while Sirius was shooting off his mouth…

James flopped back onto his pillow, furious with himself. He didn’t want to be responsible for Lily losing her best friend. As weird and Severus was, he meant something to Lily, and that meant something to James.

Unable to sleep, James lay in his bed thinking things over. How can I apologize to her? Will she forgive me if I do?

After a bit, James heard Douglas leave for dinner, but didn’t rouse himself until his stomach began growling angrily at him, not accustomed to being denied food for very long. After tip-toeing past Lily and out into the corridor, James let out a breath of relief, and made his way to the Great Hall.

Meanwhile, Lily remained in the Common Room at her little table. Sending those airplanes had wiped out most of her parchment, but she wasn’t sorry. She was so angry at the Marauders that if one of them dropped dead, she wouldn’t care. Lily was living proof that no good deed ever went unpunished. Every time she tried to defend Severus, it always blew up in her face.

She sat there staring at her last bit of parchment when she felt a hand on her shoulder.

–Hey, Lil, what’re you doing?”

Lily looked up into the face of one of her best friends, Iris Johnson. Today, she was sporting blue and pink hair and yellow eyes that looked like a cat’s. Most people were shocked by Iris’ appearance, but Lily didn’t mind. She actually enjoyed being friends with the only Metamorphmagus in their grade. Lily sometimes wished she could change the color of her hair too, but everyone she confided this in begged her not to. –It’s so pretty!”, –How else are we supposed to find you?”, and –But I love gingers!” were only a few of the responses she met.

Iris was the polar opposite of her cousin, Douglas. While Douglas was nosy, obnoxious and all-around unpleasant, Iris was well-mannered and outgoing (her and Lily sometimes lost points for their talking in class), and a loyal friend. Most of all, she accepted Severus. The two weren’t the best of friends, but she understood him. He was lonely and found a friend in Lily, not unlike herself years ago.

–I’m not doing anything,” Lily said wearily as she put her head in her hands.

–I heard about what happened at breakfast today. Do you want to talk about it?” Iris asked as she sat down next to her friend.

–Not particularly. Black was being an- well, never mind. Where were you and the girls today? I haven’t seen you anywhere.”

Iris lowered her voice to barely above a whisper. –We were in the Hospital Wing with Pauline.”

Lily gasped. –Why didn’t anyone tell me? She isn’t throwing up again, is she?”

–There wasn’t time. We couldn’t find you and it was… urgent. And no, she’s not making herself puke anymore. Her mum says she’s over that,” Iris said. –It’s stress, if you ask me. I heard her brother ran off to join Who-Know-Who. If I had a brother like that, I’d flip out too.”

Lily covered her mouth, terrified. –I had no idea. What are they going to do? Are they looking for him? Is he going to Azkaban?”

Iris shrugged. –I don’t think so. I’m guessing they disowned him, though. You know how Pauline’s parents are. What else can you do? Her parents are moving to a different house and everything. Hogwarts is the safest place for anyone right now, but Madam Pomfrey said that if she couldn’t pull it together, they’d probably have to send her home.”

Lily fell back into her chair as she let the news sink in.

–They can’t… they can’t just kick her out, can they? Professor Dumbledore would never…”

–It’s bad out there, Lily. Everywhere. People are disappearing right and left.”

Lily took a deep breath. –I know. That’s why I’m sure Professor Dumbledore wouldn’t just… just…”

–You’re right. Forget I said anything. She’s staying right here.” Iris put her arm around Lily, trying to comfort her.

The girls sat in silence, until Iris decided it was time to change the subject. Looking across the Common Room, she found a topic.

–What in the name of Merlin is Janelle doing?” Iris asked in surprise.

Lily, too, looked across the Common Room at Janelle. –It looks like she’s knitting.”

–Yeah, but look where she’s sitting.”

Lily frowned. –That’s a little strange.”

Janelle was sitting in the same seat James Potter had occupied minutes before, watching Sirius Black sleep as she knit what looked like an ugly green snot rag. Lily wouldn’t want to make anything out of something that looked so dirty.

–I think she likes him,” Iris said mischievously.

–I think you’re right,” said Lily, though she couldn’t imagine why.

The girls stared at them for a minute before Iris said, –She keeps to herself an awful lot, doesn’t she?”

Lily sighed. –Yeah, some people are like that.”

–Like Severus,” Iris added.

–I guess.” Lily put her head in her hands again, squeezing her eyes shut. –I really screwed up today, Iris.”

Iris nodded. –Now do you want to talk about it?”

Lily recounted every last detail, from Sirius accusing Severus of being a Death Eater, to Slughorn’s party. At the end of it she burst into tears.

–He’s so a-awful! And now Severus hates me, and it’s all because of P-Potter and his stupid friends!” Lily sobbed into Iris’ shoulder.

–Shh. No one is perfect, Lily, especially Severus. He’ll get over it,” Iris said soothingly.

Suddenly, someone burst into the Common Room. –Lily! Iris! We have to go to the Hospital Wing!”

Iris and Lily exchanged worried looks.

–What do you mean, Tabitha?”

–Madam Pomfrey says it’s Pauline! We have to go right now!” Tabitha Lane, one of Iris and Lily’s best friends, hollered.

Iris immediately stood up to follow Tabitha, but Lily quickly scribbled her note to Severus.

I’m not perfect. Meet me in the usual place if you agree. Lily


Lily knew it was best not to beg Severus to forgive her. Not for something like this. She stuffed the note in her pocket and hurried out of the portrait hole behind Tabitha and Iris, leaving the other Gryffindors to stare at eachother in confusion.

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Flying snitches, screaming Bludgers, hexing Severus, kissing Diana, laughing at Peter, killing Kreacher, cheering crowds, falling off a broomstick, falling, falling, falling…

Sirius woke with a start. Looking around frantically before realizing the common room was empty, Sirius’ eyes landing on a figure sitting on a chair across from him. Allowing his eyes to adjust to the light, Sirius looked closer at the person. It wasn’t James; it was the girl from breakfast. Janelle.

–Hello,” Sirius said sleepily.

–Hey.”

Sirius stretched and yawned, –Where’s James?”

–I think Lily scared him off,” Janelle said, smiling to herself.

Sick to death of hearing about Lily Evans, Sirius didn’t press the topic. –What do you have there?” Sirius asked her, eyeing her project suspiciously.

–It’s supposed to be a scarf,” Janelle replied wearily. If she had to defend her scarf one more time, she swore she was going to unravel it and leave it in Filch’s office for vermin to nest in. –It’s not perfect.”

Sirius laughed. –I can see that.”

–It’s for my grandmother!” Janelle cried, torn between laughter and dismay. –It’s ugly and everything, but I think she will-”

–She’ll love it,” Sirius said encouragingly. –Trust me.”

Janelle blushed, embarrassed but delighted by his compliment. –She probably won’t, actually. She doesn’t like much of anything. But it’s her eightieth birthday, you know, I had to try.”

–True,” Sirius agreed.

–She was the head of Slytherin in her day. That’s why I wanted to make it green,” Janelle continued.

Sirius raised his eyebrows. –Really? My parents would love that.”

–She was really upset when I made it into Gryffindor,” Janelle said.

Sirius chuckled, –That sounds familiar. I thought my parents were going to disown me.”

–You don’t seem upset about that,” Janelle laughed.

–Nah. It’ll happen, though, you watch. I’ve been trying for years, but nothing seems to do the trick.”

–Well don’t try too hard!” Janelle cried.

–Yeah, well, we’ll see. It’s nice of you to knit your grandmother a scarf, despite her… history.” Sirius grinned mischievously.

Janelle laughed. –Oh, that’s nice of you.”

–What can I say? I’m a nice person.”

Janelle opened her mouth to speak, but just then, Peter, James, and Remus came bounding into the Common Room. –Padfoot! We’ve got something!” James shouted, but stopped abruptly when he saw Janelle.

Janelle smiled awkwardly at him, but Peter, James and Remus only stared at her, and Janelle felt uncomfortable under their gaze. She got the feeling that she wasn’t wanted there.

–I can go, if you want,” Janelle offered.

–Oh, you don’t have to…” Remus began, but James cut him off.

–That’d actually be great,” James declared, rather rudely.

Under different circumstances, Janelle would be slightly miffed at James for his treatment of her, but she was satisfied with the conversation she and Sirius had shared. With a nod to Remus and a small wave to Sirius, Janelle left the Common Room for her dormitory.

–That was rude,” Sirius grumbled after she left. –She’s supposed to be your date, remember?”

–Whatever, mate. We have things to discuss,” James replied.

Remus threw a bag of cookies on the table in front of Sirius. –For you. They’re a bit old. I found them in my trunk; I think my mum put them in there before I left for school…”

Sirius grabbed the bad and immediately stuffed two in his mouth.

Remus wrinkled his nose. –That’s disgusting.”

–Well, sorry! No one woke me up for dinner!” Sirius said, looking directly at James.

James raised his hands defensively. –I didn’t eat either! I ran into Moony and Wormtail on the way there, and they said something about ingredients, so we all came up here.”

Peter reached for a cookie, but Sirius pulled the bag protectively to his chest. –I think not. These are my favorite.”

Peter stared longingly at the cookies, but soon turned his attention to Remus.

–So here’s the thing,” Remus began. –The stuff we need isn’t going to be around for much longer. Fortunately, most of them are easily accessible to us. Some are in a standard potions kit, and you can always get Sal Ammoniac from Slughorn, and there’s only a few in Forbidden Forrest, which is good for us. There’s just one problem.”

The group looked at him in bewilderment. Remus shook his head. –I can’t believe I didn’t realize this sooner. Has anyone bothered to look at their calendars lately?”

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Chapter Endnotes: Reviews are so very appreciated!