The door chimes sounded the arrival of their breakfast guest. Petunia nearly ran down the stairs in order to be the first one to answer. After all, he was her guest.
“Vernon!” she squealed. Realising the unladylike tone in her voice, she said in a more sedate manner, “It’s lovely to have you for breakfast. Mum and Dad are anxious to meet you.”
He grunted and stalked past Petunia when she gestured for him to enter their house, which she had cleaned from top to bottom for just this occasion. Every few feet or so, he would inspect something, like a vase or a table top, and give a slight nod of approval. Inside, her stomach was practically eating itself in anxiety, hoping that none of those nods turned into a scowl. After all, Vernon was destined to be a successful man; he had a good education, good breeding, and a sure spot in the company his father managed. All in all, he was one of the finer catches.
When they reached the lounge, her parents, William and Mary, were waiting to meet their daughter’s prospective boyfriend. They wore their Sunday best, mostly on Petunia’s insistence, but they understood that such things were vital for first impressions.
Extending his hand, William said, “Vernon, my boy! It’s good to meet you finally. Tuney here has told us so much about you, it’s almost like meeting a legend.” Laughing briefly at his own joke, William cleared his throat and withdrew. Petunia could’ve died and shrunk into the floorboards right then and there, but just then, Vernon chortled his approval. She almost heaved a sigh of relief.
Mary smiled warmly and said, “At last, I get to meet the boy my daughter has been going on about. Pleased to meet you, young man.”
Bestowing Mary with his best smile, Vernon took her hand and placed a light kiss on the back. “Delighted, Mrs Evans. Now I can see how Petunia came out so beautiful; it runs in the family.”
Flushing, Mary said, “Oh, I’m just a simple old woman. Tuney is the one who really deserves the credit for setting all of this up.” Gesturing toward the next room, she said, “Our meal awaits whenever you’re ready.”
Petunia couldn’t help but smile to herself. Vernon did like his food. She’d even made a point out of cooking twice as much as normal just so he could have his fill and still not eat all of what she’d prepared. He could see that she wanted to please him by making sure he never left her table hungry.
Breakfast itself was already on trays and ready to serve, and it didn’t take long for Petunia to appreciate the fact that she’d made that much extra. By the time the meal was over, only a couple of muffins and a lone sausage link remained. Vernon had nearly eaten all the bacon, plus a good portion of the sausage, and each time his plate was emptied, its contents were immediately replaced by Petunia.
The entire meal had been silent, save for the sound of chewing. She noted that, several times whilst dining, her parents had looked ready to ask a question, but for whatever reason, they decided against it and went back to their own plates. Of course, Petunia was too busy making sure that everyone got their fill to pollute the air with idle prattle. Vernon liked peace and quiet.
After they all withdrew back to the lounge, William said, “That was lovely, Tuney.” Taking his wife’s hand, he said, “I believe we’ll go for a walk.”
“And I believe that’s a wonderful idea,” Mary said, smiling conspiratorially.
Petunia had pre-arranged for them to leave them alone for a while, since she had the gut feeling that Vernon was going to ask her to marry him. He had always held that a man needed his space, especially for such important matters. Her parents had asked her if it was really what she’d wanted, to which she had emphatically replied, “Yes!”
Just before they reached the door, Petunia decided that being thoughtful and prepared were good traits to show. “Dad, perhaps you might like to take an umbrella, just in case.”
“What for?” William asked. Opening the door, he gestured outside. “It’s spring, one of the nicest days all year, and there isn’t a cloud in the sky.”
Directing her gaze pointedly toward Vernon, Petunia mouthed, “Just do it and make me look good.”
William whispered, “Oh, I see.” More loudly, he said, “Of course! What was I thinking? The sky can turn from blue to black in minutes. How perceptive of you, Tuney!” He gave her a cartoonish wink.
Resisting the urge to smack him in the arm, Petunia said, “I’m just happy to help.” Kissing her mother on the cheek, she said, “Love you, Mum.”
“Love you too, dear.” Mary patted her daughter’s cheek. “You and Lily are just such a blessing to us.”
Wanting to tell her mother that she was pouring it on too thick, Petunia said, “Of course. Now, off you go! The sooner you leave, the sooner you get back.”
Under his breath, William said, “Getting rid of us this fast, Tuney?”
“Just go with it,” Petunia hissed back. “Bye!” she added in her sweetest voice. As the Evanses exited, she waved briskly at them, even blowing them a kiss for good measure. Showing Vernon that she cared about family would certainly score her points when it came to making one of her own.
Once the door closed behind them, though, Vernon groaned loudly. “Excellent meal. You really know what a bloke needs.”
Inside, Petunia cheered. Outwardly, though, she smiled tightly. “I do my best. No excuse for laziness.”
“Indeed not!” he said, nearly hitting her with a spray of saliva. “Laziness will be the death of us all. People who don’t work and don’t take care of their own, waiting with their hands out for my tax money… they might as well stick their hands in my pockets.”
Nodding her approval, Petunia said, “Well, rest assured, I will not be one of them. If I don’t work, I intend to keep a spotless house and a hot meal on the table every night. It’s the only decent thing to do.”
When Vernon smiled like the Cheshire Cat, Petunia’s insides did somersaults. All morning, she had slaved to tell him what he wanted to hear, hoping that he might consider asking her, and she had even given him the perfect segue to do it. The only thing she could do was hope that he would take advantage.
At last, he spoke. “I’ve been thinking, Petunia. We’ve known each other for quite some time, and I must admit to having grown fond of you. You have many admirable qualities that seem to be lacking in women these days, and I’d be a fool not to notice.”
Petunia could’ve passed out on the spot. It was happening! It was really happening! All she had to do was wait for him to —
“I was wondering if you could agree to help me decorate my house. I’m rubbish with colour.”
Confused and a bit bewildered, Petunia asked softly, “Are you asking me to…” Was he?
“’Course, I would be perfectly willing to pay you well for it. You do have excellent taste, and I trust you not to spend forty pounds on a throw pillow.”
Something inside of Petunia sank when reality hit her. She got a proposal, but it wasn’t nearly the one for which she’d been angling. At any rate, at least her foot would remain firmly in the door. “I’d love to,” she crooned. “When would you like me to start?”
“Today, if possible. My sister is coming over, and I don't want her complaining about my ruddy draperies!”
Exhaling heavily in resignation, Petunia said, “Anything for you, Vernon.”