Jousting

James whacked Sirius' roll of parchment with a deft movement of his own weapon, a partially-written Charms essay.

"On guard! I shall cleave thy head from thy shoulders, braggart!" James cried, knocking away Sirius' fake rapier.

Some Gryffindor students cheered James on, encouraging him to strike Sirius down on the spot. James took a peek out of the corner of his eye and saw Lily determinedly scribbling on some parchment, not even glancing at the show in the middle of the common room that he and his best mate were putting on.

"Come on, James, are you too scared to defeat such a worthy, handsome opponent?" Sirius demanded, rolling back on his heels.

"Weaponless, too," chimed in Peter.

James balanced on his feet, pushing back his unruly black hair. To the thrill of his audience, he imperiously sliced his paper sword across Sirius' neck with dramatic flair.

"Death by paper cut!" James bellowed. Sirius took the beheading, by miming a horrifying death. Everyone laughed and cheered them on, getting all the more rowdy as the evening carried on.

James checked- yes, Lily was still ignoring him.

"You ought to write your essays, not use them as weapons," Remus called from his comfortable fireside spot, his essay in front of him.

"Oh yeah? Oh yeah? You want to talk essays? How about a duel?!" Sirius roared.

Remus looked at him with raised eyebrows. Sirius backed down quickly. "We could also do the homework," he amended.

James fell on to the fireside couch, ousting some first years. Sirius dropped next to him, and Peter scuttled to sit on the floor in front of the couch.

"Isn't it great being a sixth-year? Brilliant seating privileges," Sirius said satisfactorily.

James didn't answer, looking sullen.

"What's wrong now, Prongs?" Sirius nudged him. He followed James' gaze and groaned theatrically. "Oh, that redhead again. I'm telling you, Prongs, you've got to get over that girl. Evans just does not like you. Especially with you acting like an idiot all over the place."

James glanced at him, looking injured. "I'm acting like an idiot? Well, look who's talking?"

"That's not the point," Sirius smoothly pressed on. "You know what she's like. She’s into school, likes the teachers, a real nose-grinder... in short, everything you're not."

"That's preposterous," James frowned, crossing his arms. "She's.... fun."

Sirius, Remus, and Peter all snorted. James glared at them.

"The problem is, mate, Evans is too uptight. You're the opposite of uptight. You're a scalawag, and a ruddy fool. A ruddy smart fool, I mean," Sirius added quickly, "but still. A girl like Evans wants someone smart and studious."

James frowned, then sighed. "I suppose I am doomed to forever be unloved by my love."

Sirius looked alarmed. "Love, mate? I think I hit you in the head a mite too hard. Don't start dropping that bomb on me, Prongs, you'll give me a heart attack." He clapped James on his back.

James got up. "I'm off to bed. Full moon is in a few days, got to get my sleep if we‘ll be out all night again."

The three remaining Marauders watched his retreat.

"Sad fellow." Peter shook his head.

"Oh, most miserable, indeed," Remus mumbled, not looking up from his long essay, a strange sort of amusement in his voice.

"He's gone utterly mad," Sirius said with conviction.

* * *

"That stupid Potter! Potter and his stupid friends being prats in the common room all last evening was so distracting, I couldn't finish my essay until late and now I'm exhausted. How brilliant." Lily Evans ranted to her best friend, Patricia Moore.

"I know, I know. They were quite noisy."

Lily nodded energetically as they marched along the corridor, jostled by students headed the other direction. "It's not like they have any respect for students who actually want to get their work done."

"Well, that's not fair," Patricia reasoned with her. "Remus is a prefect, after all, and he's friends with them."

"Yes, that I do not understand," Lily finally halted her stream of angry words. "Remus is nice. Although his disappearances every month, I can't fathom. I definitely don’t get his cavorting with those band of ruffians."

Patricia nodded as Lily went on, words coming to her quickly- as was their tendency.

Just as Lily barreled around the corner, they ran into the unlikeliest of students; James Potter and his 'band of ruffians’ themselves.

"Potter!" Lily spat at him, enraged. "I'm exhausted, Potter, and overworked. Why is that, do you think?"

"Easy there, Evans," James backed off a little, using his I'm-mature-and-serious voice. "What's the matter?"

The other Marauders watched, off-side, with Patricia. James and Lily stood a few feet apart, Lily angry and James looking thrilled to be talking to her, yet working to appear serious.

"You're invading every part of my life, you prat. I can't get to sleep because you've got Gryffindor Tower in an uproar nightly and you cause a fuss in the common room resulted in my homework being burned or exploded or used as weapons! You're annoying and arrogant and I can't stand you!"

"Well, I knew that," James returned, perplexed. "Have you been bottling up your emotions, Evans? Let it all out, you'll feel better."

"What do you think I'm DOING?" She shouted at him. Realizing she was out of control, Lily took a breath in and looked at him evenly. "I am tired of your silly, immature, pathetic antics, Potter."

"Go out with me, Evans," James insisted.

"Absolutely not! How can you not understand how utterly I dislike you, Potter?"

"How can you not utterly like me, Evans?"

“You're so conceited."

"You're so uptight." James nearly clapped his hand over his mouth for letting the words escape him. He saw Sirius snigger from out of the corner of his eye.

Lily glared at him. "I'm NOT uptight!"

"Yes, you are. And prissy." James crossed his arms defiantly.

"Rubbish! You’re an idiot. I can‘t believe you think I‘d actually date you!"

"I'm not insulting you! You just need to relax a little."

"Relax?! Me, relax? I‘m done with this. Let‘s go, Patty." Lily tossed her red hair over her shoulder as she left. Patricia followed her, throwing a reluctant look back at the Marauders. Sirius winked at her. Patricia hurried off at once.

* * *

"I think that went rather well."

"Shut up, Sirius. I know I've messed up."

"Well..."

"Just don't."

James wouldn't look at them, his bravado from his argument with Lily all but vanished. He sat at the Gryffindor table in the Great Hall with his friends on all sides, attempting to console him while he pushed food around on his plate. He normally had the appetite of three people, so this lack of appetite was a pretty big sign that the young wizard was troubled.

“Well, if you’re really so miserable…“ Sirius paused for effect. He continued, in a voice striving for carelessness, “I suppose a prank would be a bad idea?”

James continued looking morose, but his attention was caught. “Well… not that I care, but what did you have in mind?”

Sirius grinned mischievously. “It is a magnificent prank. No, a fantastic prank. In fact, it is the best prank we shall ever do. It shall be glorious.”

James looked impressed. “Wow, really?”

“Well, it’s decent.” Sirius shoveled a last forkful of lunch into his mouth, and, chomping on it, said noisily, “So, are you on board, Jamesy?”

“Hell yeah!” James jumped from his seat, his spirit renewed. He ruffled his hair and grinned at his best mate.

The hair-ruffle did the trick. Sirius whooped, Remus grinned and Peter absolutely cheered.

“The Marauders are back!” Sirius celebrated.

* * *

Later that evening in the common room, James had just picked up a fifth Dr Filibuster’s firework when he noticed Lily come in the common room.

“Hey, Evans,” he said cheerily, tapping the end of the fuse with his wand. It lit with a fiery burst of sparks and he tossed it in the air.

Lily glared at him. “Is this your idea of reconciliation? Causing more mayhem?”

“Of course not, Evans, this is just harmless fun. My dad sent me a box and what’s the use of leaving fireworks unused?”

Lily started to march past him. James threw out an arm to stop her. “Just a word of advice, Evans…” he began seriously.

She glared at him. “What?”

“Be about ten minutes late to breakfast tomorrow, will you?”

Lily looked at him suspiciously. “Why?”

“Just looking out for you, Evans,” James grinned mysteriously. “Now how about that date?”

With a scowl, she pushed past him and settled herself in the corner of the common room as far away from him as she could manage.

* * *

The next morning, Lily couldn’t help the feeling of trepidation as she came down to the common room. Patricia was waiting for her, as Lily had been getting ready pretty slowly, apprehensive of what the lot of them were up to. James wasn’t usually all talk, and she couldn’t help but be concerned for whatever was going to happen at breakfast in a few minutes.

Patricia looked at her warily. “Are you ready to go now? Breakfast is starting in a minute.”

Lily fidgeted. “Uh… no, I need to get my, uh… my wand.”

“Isn’t it right there in your pocket?”

“Nope! I’ll go fetch it.”

Lily dashed up the dormitory stairs. Her wand was indeed in her pocket, but James did warn her to come late to breakfast… after a moment’s thought, Lily suddenly realized a key point. Since when did she let James Potter tell her what to do? With that defiant thought, she marched all the way back down the stairs and without a word went straight out the portrait door, a bewildered friend in tow.

They arrived in the Entrance Hall shortly after breakfast had officially started. Lily hadn’t told anyone what James had instructed her, and was more than a little nervous to go into the Great Hall.

Patricia was watching her out of the corner of her eyes as they approached the doors, as one might eye a person behaving erratically.

They walked into the Great Hall and were met with chaos.

Instantly, the two girls were enveloped in a rain shower that was the equivalent of a shower; water splashed into Lily and Patricia and drenched them head to foot. Looking into the Hall, it was like looking out onto a stormy sea- the ceiling lit up with lightning and boomed with thunder, sending jets of rain down to the flooded hall. Students slipped about in the water; waves of cold water crashed into the House tables and sent a spray high into the air. It was like the water had a mind of it’s own, the way it was roaring down. Lily stumbled about, blinded by the darkness and the incorrigible rain. Luckily her book bag remained in the entrance hall where she‘d dropped it; for no dryness survived. Lily could see other students slipping in the water all over the place.

After the first impression of shock, Lily remembered that it was all James’ fault that she was in this crazy situation, the rivulets of water racing down from the ceiling with the sole purpose to get her as wet as possible. Oddly, it wasn’t a dangerous sort of situation, although there was a complete lack of control.

Lily spotted the teacher’s table; most of the teachers were soaked to the skin and waving their wands, trying to stop the overzealous rain. Their efforts may have been successful if they didn’t keep getting beaten down by the buckets of water.

James and the Marauders were nowhere to be seen. Not that much could be seen in the dark storm conditions the Hall was in, anyway.

Then, as quickly as Lily had come upon the chaotic scene, the skies started to clear and the rain ceased.

Abruptly, innocent puffs of clouds drifted across the sky as the false sunshine broke into the hall and illuminated the devastatingly wet scene. Water sloshed about on the floor mildly. Students and staff picked themselves up from the floor, utterly soaked and bedraggled.

Just as the shock wore off the students and they realized how sodden and wet they were, the great double doors to the hall opened and Professor Dumbledore stood there, looking on at the scene with no surprise whatsoever.

“Well, well! Don‘t you all look rather like drowned rodents?” He chortled. “I can imagine the culprit will be beheld with both glory and fury by the student population when they are discovered. I suspect you are all rather chilly, so let’s do something about this water.”

Dumbledore waved his wand and all the water on the floor, walls, and tables vanished. With an amiable smile, Dumbledore tucked away his wand and walked purposefully up to the staff table, where the teachers were passing their wands over their robes in an attempt to dry them.

Lily did the same as the teachers, trying to dry her robes and her hair with her wand. Her clothes and hair steaming, she glanced up and immediately locked on eyes on enemy number one: James Potter. He had just entered the hall, his sidekicks with him, surveying the display of wet students searching out their things and wringing water from their robes. James was munching on an apple, looking utterly amused.

Lily did not hesitate to march over to him and give him a piece of her mind.

“JAMES POTTER!” She shouted at him. He glanced at her and winced, lowering the apple.

“Evans, I warned you,” he began. Lily interrupted him icily.

“Thanks to you, Potter, I am now soaking wet, miserable, just got terrified out of my wits. Everyone here now has to change robes, and will be late to class. Once again you’ve caused destruction and disarray in this school. Do you have anything to say for yourself?”

James looked at her, then looked at Sirius. Looking back at Lily, a clever smile lit up his face. “Brilliant prank,” he deemed it.

Lily drew her wand.

* * *

“Tampering with the ceiling! Causing mayhem in the Great Hall! Duelling like some silly first years! Have you gone mad?” Professor McGonagall berated them in her office. “And for all this trouble to come from Gryffindor house- I am most ashamed- and you, Miss Evans! Whipping out your wand to curse Mr. Potter! I could not have dreamed such irresponsibility to come from you.”

James, Lily, and the Marauders were seated in front of Professor McGonagall’s desk after the events in the hall had unfolded. Lily felt quite regretful of her behavior; trying to curse James right in front of everyone was the worst possible idea. Of course, she hadn’t hurt James- he was much too good at defense, which she should have seen that coming. Naturally, she shouldn’t have lost her temper in the first place.

“A week’s detention and ten points deducted from each of you,” McGonagall declared, her nostrils flaring. “I shall write to your parents tonight.”

“What! Professor, please-”

“Oh, no, not my parents-”

“You’re lucky I’m not taking away your extracurricular privileges, Potter. Yes- that means Quidditch. Next time you pull something of this magnitude, I will do it- oh, yes, I will!” McGonagall looked at James sternly, in answer to his skeptical expression. “Now, off to class.”

* * *

“Psst, Evans.”

“Go away, Potter.” It was the last class of the day, Divination, and Lily had the misfortune of being forced to sit at the same table as James and Sirius. James leaned across the table, whispering urgently.

“Evans.”

“What do you WANT, Potter?” Lily looked up from her crystal ball, cross.

He grinned at her and ruffled his hair. “You should leave dinner early tonight.”

Lily stared at him, disbelieving. “You‘re going to pull something again? I could turn you in; you stand to lose your Quidditch priveleges. What are you telling me for?”

James just smiled. “If you owe me, I can get you to go out with me.”

“You‘re mad.” Lily turned back to her crystal ball, irritable. James withdrew for a moment as the Divination professor passed by, humming to herself. After a moment‘s pause, James nudged Lily’s book to recapture her attention.

“Nope, I’m perfectly sane, I’m just not giving up. Keep away from the Slytherin table, by the way.” James opened his textbook lazily. “Maybe I’ll get another shot at jousting with you, Evans. You ought to try to curse me again. That was fun.”

Lily looked up from her work to answer him. Maybe it was something about his strange behavior, his eagerness, the daring and mischievous gleam in his eye, for somehow instead of the usual scowl Lily delivered, she couldn’t help giving James a small smile.