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Epithalamium by Northumbrian

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Seventy Days: The Lee Jordan Show

Ginny circled her fiancé, carefully scrutinising his appearance. She stopped, and picked a minute spec of fluff from his shirt.

‘We’re being interviewed on a wireless show,’ Harry protested.

‘In front of a live audience,’ Ginny reminded him. ‘And the press are here, remember. The Sunday Prophet has sent a photographer, and a reporter, so have Witch Weekly, Cheat, and Quidditch Today. Tomorrow, everyone will be able to see what we’re wearing, Harry. I’m sure that--unless something dreadful happens in the world, and I hope that it doesn’t--tomorrow’s Sunday Prophet will have a front page photograph, and at least a two page spread inside. It will be an –in-depth analysis” of every word we utter.’ She ignored Harry’s despairing groan. ‘How do I look?’ she asked.

‘Great, as always,’ he assured her. ‘I like the top. It’s very demure, at least from the front.’ He slipped his arms around her, and caressed her bare back.

Ginny grabbed his forearms, and firmly freed herself from his embrace. ‘You aren’t helping, Harry,’ she said resolutely. She turned to the only other person in the room. ‘What do you think, Donna?’ she asked.

Donna--who had not introduced herself, and whose name Ginny knew only because it was written in large letters on a badge pinned to her chest--did not answer immediately. ‘That was the pre-credits bell. Follow me, please,’ she said authoritatively.

‘How do I look, Donna?’ Ginny demanded as she and Harry followed the woman from the green room.

‘Mr Potter is correct,’ Donna assured her. Her voice was cool, calm, and professional, it was the voice of someone used to wireless work, and to soothing nervous guests. ‘You look wonderful, you both do. If I had been at all concerned about your appearance, I’d have taken you to the wardrobe department. There is no reason to worry, Miss Weasley, Mr Potter. If you’ll follow me to the wings, I’ll let you know when to enter the stage.’

‘I don’t know why we agreed to do this,’ Harry muttered.

‘Because the Wizarding Wireless Network is dividing my appearance fees equally between –Help for Law Officers” and –The Quidditch Players Benevolent Fund”, and doubling them because I persuaded you to join me,’ Ginny reminded him. ‘And, besides, it’s only Lee.’

‘Lee won’t be a problem. But when we agreed to the interview no one told me about questions from the audience,’ Harry grumbled.

‘Quiet, please,’ Donna whispered.

As they approached the wings Donna stepped in front of them and held out her arm, preventing them from going any further. They watched as Lee Jordan, in a bright yellow open-neck shirt and a Gryffindor-red three-piece suit, strode out from the opposite side of the stage. His audience cheered. Other than the white leather swivel chair which featured in most of his publicity stills and the black guest sofa, which they had been shown on the run-through, the stage was bare.

As the applause died down, Lee spoke. ‘For my final show this season, I have two very special guests. Please give a very warm Lee Jordan Show welcome to the most famous couple in the Wizarding world, the couple whose engagement broke the hearts of witches and wizards everywhere. Welcome, please, my old friends; Harry Potter and Ginny Weasley.’

‘Go!’ Donna whispered the order, dropped her arm and stepped aside. She moved behind them, apparently prepared to push them onto the stage if they didn’t move.

Harry’s hand automatically moved down, and Ginny’s moved up to meet it. The moment their hands met, the young couple relaxed. As they calmly walked onto the stage to rapturous applause, they followed Lee’s lead and waved to the audience.




‘Welcome, Harry. You look gorgeous, Ginny,’ said Lee as he moved to greet them.

After shaking Harry’s hand and kissing Ginny’s cheek, Lee motioned for them to sit on the sofa. Returning to his swivel chair, Lee sat, and waited for the cheers to subside.

‘I’d like to thank you both for agreeing to this interview,’ Lee began carefully. ‘I know how you value your privacy. It’s an honour, and a privilege, to be allowed to invade it a little.’ He watched his quests carefully. They were hip to hip on the sofa, and they were still holding hands. Harry was looking a little wary but Ginny, who had appeared on the show several times, was already relaxed.

‘You look happy together,’ Lee said. Harry nodded.

‘Thanks, Lee,’ Ginny said. ‘We are happy, aren’t we, Harry?’

‘Yes,’ Harry agreed, smiling. Lee was thankful that she’d managed to get a verbal response.

‘I have lot of questions, and not much time. Let’s start at the beginning. How did you two first meet?’

‘The first time ever?’ asked Harry.

‘The first time ever,’ said Lee. ‘Was it love at first sight?’

‘I was eleven!’ Harry snorted dismissively. ‘I needed directions to Platform nine-and-three-quarters, and I asked Ginny’s mum. Ginny was with her. So were Ron, the twins, and Percy.’

‘It was the annual Weasley family outing to King’s Cross, but it was the first time Mum had taken me. Poor Harry was a little lost boy,’ Ginny explained. She grinned mischievously. ‘When I first saw him, I knew that I was looking at…’ she paused dramatically. ‘Harry Potter!’ she spoke breathily, her voice full of awe.

‘She wasn’t the only one,’ Harry added. ‘But, at the time, I had no idea who Harry Potter was.’

‘He still doesn’t,’ Ginny added as the audience laughed. ‘When the train pulled out, I waved to my brothers, but Harry thought I was waving to him.’

‘That’s probably because I was looking out of the window, and they weren’t,’ Harry replied.

‘So, that was your first meeting, what happened next?’ Lee asked.

‘Harry became friends with my brother, Ron. We got together five years later,’ Ginny said.

‘You got together five years later... Would you like to give me a few more details, Harry?’ Lee asked.

‘No,’ Harry told him.

Ginny chuckled, and Lee rolled his eyes. One word answers were not good radio. Fortunately, this time the audience were laughing, but he knew that he would struggle to get Harry to talk about feelings. Getting Harry to talk about anything was difficult, but personal stuff was almost impossible. He watched Ginny lean in to Harry, and squeeze his hand.

‘Then, could you tell me when you knew Ginny was the one, the girl for you?’ Lee continued.

‘I can do that,’ Ginny offered. ‘He caught me kissing someone else, and he was jealous.’

‘Someone else,’ said Lee, thoughtfully. His audience fell silent. ‘And that would be…’

‘That would be a long time ago,’ said Harry firmly.

‘A long time ago you kissed…’ Lee tried again.

‘It really isn’t important, Lee, I was only fifteen,’ said Ginny, she gave him a wicked grin. ‘It’s no more important than--for example--you asking me to name the men I danced with at my brother, Bill’s wedding.’

‘Do you think Ginny is a good dancer, Lee?’ asked Harry. The audience laughed as realisation struck.

‘I’m supposed to be the one asking the questions, Harry,’ said Lee. ‘But, yes, Ginny is a good dancer. Perhaps I’ll get another chance to dance with her at your wedding.’

‘Did we invite you?’ Ginny teased. ‘Seriously though, Lee, I think that by the time we finally got together, we had been sparking off each other for a while.’

‘Yeah,’ said Harry thoughtfully. ‘Sparking off each other, that’s a good way to put it, Ginny.’

‘And then the flames took hold,’ suggested Ginny.

‘And we’ve been together ever since,’ Harry added, blushing.

‘And now you’re getting married,’ said Lee. ‘So when can we expect the first of the next generation of Potters?’

‘When can we expect… Next generation?’ said Harry, he sounded bewildered. ‘Babies! You’re asking...’ He stopped as the audience laughed and cheered.

‘That is none of your business, Lee,’ Ginny interjected. ‘What I want to know is, how much did my mother pay you to ask that question?’ The audience laughed again.

‘Not enough, obviously,’ said Lee worriedly, getting another laugh.

‘We both have busy careers,’ said Ginny. ‘Harry and I have discussed kids, of course, but when?’ She shrugged. ‘I’m only twenty-one, and I play Quidditch for a living. Don’t hold your breath, folks.’




Lee glanced up at the studio clock. The interview was, he thought, going well. Harry was much more relaxed, and the audience seemed to be enjoying the show despite the fact that he’d been unable to get answers to the baby question. The next questions might, Lee knew, prove difficult.

‘We don’t have too long left, so it’s time for me to move on to some of the questions sent in by my audience,’ said Lee, pulling a few cards from his pocket. The audience cheered.

‘First, Stephanie wants to know what activity you most enjoy when you’re together.’

Ginny suppressed a rather dirty-sounding chuckle, but said nothing. Worried, Lee looked desperately at Harry.

‘Quidditch,’ Harry said promptly. His lips twitched slightly, and his eyes were full of mischief. ‘There’s nothing more exhilarating and enjoyable than when Ginny gets her Bludgers out and grabs the Quaffle.’

Ginny snorted with laughter, as did the audience.

‘I have to agree,’ said Ginny when the laughter dies down. ‘There’s nothing better, is there Harry? We love to fly together.’

‘Quidditch,’ said Lee carefully. ‘Is that a euphemism?’

‘It’s not any sort of ism, it’s a game, Lee! What on earth do you think we are talking about?’ queried Ginny. She sounded shocked, and it was Harry’s turn to suppress a laugh.

‘So, you both enjoy Quidditch,’ said Lee carefully. ‘Of course you were Gryffindor Seeker, Harry. Did you ever consider a career as a professional?’

‘No,’ Harry said.

Lee shook his head. Every time he thought he might be getting somewhere, Harry gave another monosyllabic answer. He was beginning to think Harry was doing it deliberately.

‘Harry’s doing the job he’s always wanted to do,’ said Ginny. ‘It’s probably just as well he doesn’t play. ‘We’re both competitive. He can’t play for the Harpies, and we would probably fall out if we were on opposite teams.’

‘Ginny would definitely fall out with me if my team won,’ said Harry.

‘Is that true?’ Lee asked.

‘I certainly don’t like to lose,’ said Ginny carefully. ‘But I don’t think I’m a bad loser.’

‘You both like Quidditch,’ Lee continued, sensing a link to the next question on his list. ‘What are your differences? What does Ginny do that annoys you, or drives you crazy, Harry?’

‘She doesn’t think she’s a bad loser, but she is,’ teased Harry.

‘No I’m not,’ Ginny protested, grinning.

‘She’s a bad loser, and she always has to have the last word!’ said Harry.

‘No I do not!’ Ginny protested, to more laughter.

Harry was grinning. He and Ginny leaned together, and each gave the other a congratulatory hug.

‘Harry and I have a very similar sense of humour, Lee,’ she said. ‘We’re winding you up.’ She paused. To be serious, I sometimes think that he works too hard. But my being annoyed because I would like to see more of him doesn’t really count as annoying, does it?’

‘I suppose not,’ said Lee. ‘Let’s try a few more quick-fire questions from my audience. This one is for you, Ginny. What were you most surprised by in the Muggle world? And what do you like best about it?’

‘What surprised me? The sheer size of the place,’ Ginny admitted. ‘When I was small, I often visited the Muggle village near my parents’ house. I thought it was big. I was wrong, it’s tiny! Muggle London is enormous, and it’s easy to get lost in the place. That’s what I like about it. In the Muggle world, Harry and I are simply another young couple. We’re not famous, or recognised; we’re ordinary, and that’s great.’

‘Both of you have stressful, high-profile jobs that sometimes keep you apart,’ said Lee. ‘I was going to ask how you cope with that stress, but I think I know the answer, Harry?’

‘We go into the Muggle world,’ Harry admitted.

‘Ginny, how would you like to be remembered: provocative, visionary, talented, fun, sexy, cool, inspirational, flawless, or honest?

‘Flawless!’ Ginny laughed. ‘Not flawless! In my opinion anyone who wants the word flawless applied to them would be very dangerous to know. They could never be wrong! If I’m remembered at all, I’d like to be remembered as someone who played a pretty good game of Quidditch. That would be enough for me.’

‘Harry, where did you get your motorbike, and how did you figure out how to make it fly?’

‘I inherited it from my godfather, Sirius Black, and he is the one who figured out how to make it fly. All I did was repair it. And Ginny’s dad and brothers helped me.’

‘Ginny, you're an international standard Quidditch player and famous in your own right. What is the one thing--other than have children--you want to do before you die?’

‘You’re determined to ask us about kids, aren’t you?’ said Ginny brusquely. ‘I’m still not going to answer that question. I want there to be a very long time before I die! I want to live to a ripe old age, and I want us to be happy. Anything else is simply the icing on the cake.’

‘Good answer, Ginny,’ said Harry appreciatively. ‘I want to be happy, I want us to be happy. In the end, that’s all that really matters, isn’t it?’

Lee waited for the oohs and aahs to die down before continuing. ‘Harry, now that Voldemort is dead, who is your worst enemy?’

Harry didn’t answer; he simply stared thoughtfully into Lee’s face. The audience fell silent. Lee was about to proceed, when Harry finally replied. ‘I have no idea, but I suspect that it may be the person who asked that question.’

‘And, this one is for both of you,’ Lee continued when the laughter subsided. ‘Since Harry grew up with a Muggle family, have you thought about exposing your children to the Muggle world? Where do you want to raise your kids?’

‘How many different ways can you find to ask us about babies, Lee?’ Ginny asked.

Lee deliberately looked down at the question cards in his hand. ‘At least six more, I think.’

‘Where? We each have our own homes already, but I’m not going to tell anyone where we live,’ Harry said firmly.

Lee silently appealed to Ginny for more, and she obliged.

‘I think Lee’s asking whether we’ll raise our kids--should we decide to have kids--in the Muggle, or the magical, world,’ said Ginny. ‘I don’t think he wants an address, Harry.’

Why do we have to choose?’ Harry asked. ‘Ginny and I live in both, why can’t our theoretical kids?’

‘There have been a lot of changes to our Magical World since Voldemort, since Tom Riddle was defeated. What changes are you happiest with and what do you both want to see happen next?’

‘The Ministry still needs to change,’ said Harry seriously. ‘We have rights for house elves and werewolves, but more needs to be done. In fact…’

Lee sensed a rant, but Ginny interrupted her fiancé. ‘We don’t need to talk politics, Harry,’ she said quietly. ‘The next thing I want to see is the Harpies win the European Cup,’ she said. She grabbed Harry’s hand and squeezed it.

‘That would be good, too,’ Harry agreed.

‘Thanks.’ Lee looked apologetically at the couple, and prepared himself for an explosion. ‘Because they form part of the audience, the Wizarding Wireless Network has decided to allow the four members of the press in the front row to ask one question each. Perhaps now would be a good time to bring them in. First, from Witch Weekly, Patricia Popplewell.’

‘Thank you, Lee, but it’s Tricia.’ The woman who stood was elderly and grey haired. She had looked professional until she’d been introduced. As she looked into Harry’s face, she suddenly became nervous. Tricia took a deep breath, looked down at her notes, and nervously spewed forth a rambling question.

‘How do you hope to make time for your marriage in light of your busy lives, and how can you be yourselves in light of the adoration of the many fans of the Ginny the Chaser and Harry the Auror?’ she asked.

‘That sounds like three questions to me,’ said Lee.

Harry looked into the woman’s crestfallen face and took pity on her. ‘Or one rather complicated one,’ he said. ‘We manage to find time to be together now, Tricia,’ he said. ‘I can’t see any reason why that would change.’

‘I can’t, either,’ Ginny agreed. ‘Even with my England training schedule, I get time off, and so does Harry. We share our diaries, and maximise the opportunities we have to be together. And as for –being ourselves” that’s easy. Apart from a few scheduled appearances, like this one, we simply hide from the fans, don’t we, Harry?’

‘Yeah,’ Harry agreed. ‘I don’t mind most fans, they’re nice people. But I don’t really know why I have fans, and fan clubs.’

‘He really doesn’t,’ Ginny confirmed.

Harry shrugged, and continued, ‘Most fans are like most people, they’re nice and polite. Unfortunately, some of them can be a little...’ He paused, and struggled to find a polite word.

‘Single-minded,’ Ginny suggested. ‘I agree with Harry. Most of them are nice, but the ones who send us underwear...’ Ginny shrugged, turned to the audience and put on a horrified expression. The audience laughed.

‘Do you get that, Lee?’ asked Harry curiously.

‘Not often,’ Lee said. ‘But I admit it can be disturbing when I do! Now, from Quidditch Today, John O’Ryan.’

‘Harry, there are rumours that you almost died at the Battle, and something brought you back from the brink, what was it? And, Ginny, Harry left you to cope with the vile regime of the Carrows’ and the dangers that entailed. Did that make you angry?

‘Blimey,’ said Harry. ‘I, er, I admit I was expecting a Quidditch question. I...’

‘I’ll go first,’ said Ginny, giving her fiancé time to think. ‘Harry went on the run ten days before my sixteenth birthday. I carried the trace, and I’d be carrying it for another year. Of course I was annoyed by the fact that Harry went off without me. But what could I have done? If I’d been with them, we’d have been caught the first time I cast a spell. Besides, on Harry’s seventeenth birthday--just before he left--Harry and I came to an understanding. I knew that he thought he was doing the right thing. Really, he was doing the only thing he could!’

‘I didn’t want to die,’ said Harry. ‘And, as Ginny has said, we’d reached an understanding.’ He grinned broadly as he said the words. ‘As you know, John, I don’t talk about what happened in the Forbidden Forest. All I’ll say is that, for an instant, I hovered between life and death, and I chose life, and Ginny, and my friends. And I don’t regret it.’

It appeared that the reporter was going to ask another question, so Lee hastily cut him off. ‘Next, Treekle Brimstone, from Cheat Magazine.’ He announced.

The woman who stood up to speak was artificially blonde, and barely out of her teens. She was wearing the latest in Muggle fashion. ‘Harry, I've heard you have a hippogriff tattoo on your chest--what colour is it?’ she asked.

‘Pink,’ said Ginny promptly.

‘May we see it?’ the reporter said, sounding startled.

‘No,’ said Harry. ‘No one can, because it’s invisible, too. It’s an invisible pink hippogriff.’

‘It’s invisible, then how do you know it’s there, Ginny?’ Treekle Brimstone asked.

‘Sharp, aren’t you?’ asked Ginny sarcastically.

‘You’ve already managed to squeeze in three questions, Treekle,’ said Lee firmly. ‘I can’t allow more. I don’t want the show to get too syrupy.’

‘But…’

Lee gave a brief hand signal, and the woman was hit by a silencing spell. He turned to the final journalist.

‘So, finally, the Sunday Prophet’s representative,’ said Lee.

Rita Skeeter rose, and looked down her nose at Harry and Ginny. ‘I have no doubt that your most exclusive wedding will pander to the rather lowbrow tastes of your bride’s frankly enormous, wretchedly poor, and decidedly common family,’ Rita Skeeter began. ‘What I want to know is, will there be anyone at all sitting on the groom's side?’

‘Yes,’ said Harry. The audience laughed, and Rita looked furious.

Rita opened her mouth, but Ginny cut her off. ‘You’ve asked your question, and you have your answer,’ she told the furious reporter. ‘Lee?’

Lee stared at Rita, silently threatening her with a silencing charm. She flounced down in her seat, a thunderous expression on her face.

‘Rita’s question reminds me of something I wanted to ask you, Harry,’ said Lee. ‘Has Ginny met your Muggle family?’

‘Several times,’ Harry said.

‘And what did you think?’ Lee asked Ginny.

‘All families are different,’ said Ginny diplomatically. ‘I’ve met a lot of Muggles and Muggleborns, and Harry’s family are… well… they aren’t typical.’

‘Thank you,’ said Lee. ‘We have time for only one more question, and the lady who submitted it is sitting in the audience, so she can ask it herself. Would Miss Bethina Tilgarr, from Leicester, please make herself known to me?’

The woman who stood wore a colourful crocheted shawl over rather shabby robes. Her frizzy, dirty blonde hair was tied in unbecoming bunches.

‘Bethina,’ Lee said. ‘I understand that you are the secretary of the Hufflepuffs for Harry fan club.’

Ginny grabbed Harry’s hand, leaned close to him and whispered, ‘So that’s what the madwoman looks like. Try to stay calm.’

‘Would you care to share that comment with the audience, Ginny? Lee asked.

‘Not verbatim,’ said Ginny, with disarming honesty. ‘I’ll simply say that both Harry and I are very much aware, and rather in awe, of the Hufflepuffs for Harry fan club.’

‘Thanks Ginny,’ said Lee. ‘Bethina, what is your question?’

‘Harry!’ The woman breathed the name reverentially, her voice shaking. ‘Ginny has posed for the Harpies calendar several times since joining that club. I was wondering, well...’

Her question, when it finally came, was delivered in a rush. ‘I... We... was wondering if there was any chance of the Auror Office doing something similar. A calendar featuring some of the Auror Office’s more prominent officers. Namely yourself? In action? I know that I... that we... that all the ladies at Hufflepuffs for Harry would certainly love the opportunity to, er, examine you in action with your, er, wand.’

It was some time before the laughter died down. Neither harry nor Ginny responded. Lee felt that he needed to explain the situation to his listeners. ‘Harry has his head in his hands, and he is shaking his head. Ginny is still laughing. Any comments Ginny?’

‘I’d buy one,’ she said promptly. The audience cheered.

‘And, now we’re out of time, sorry folks,’ said Lee. ‘The Lee Jordan Show will be back in the autumn, with more guests from the five corners of the Wizarding world. Have a good summer, and goodnight.’