"Just get over it, Lupin."
"Look at what you've done! It's completley ruined! I've only just gotten it dry-cleaned too. I'm not made of money, you know!"
"Don't feed me the 'poor werewolf tale', Lupin. You could have cleaned that suit by magic."
"No, I couldn't have! The fur is far too delicate - "
The door of the dungeons creaked open as Ron and Hermione entered the Potions classroom, accompaning Harry to his Dancing Against the Dark Arts lesson.
"What's going on?" Ron asked Lupin, who was holding a plastic bag and seemed severely agitated.
"I'll tell you what's going on! Severus has spilt his potion all over my werewolf outfit, it's completely ruined! It's the full moon tonight, what am I going to wear now?"
Harry looked extremely confused, as Ron and Hermione shook their heads sympathetically whilst giving Professor Snape dirty looks.
"You can stop that right now, both of you, or it's detention," spat Snape. "Honestly, Lupin, I don't see what the fuss is about. You're always complaining about having to wear that bloody thing, you'd think having it ruined would be a blessing."
"But it defines who I am! I'm Remus Lupin, the loveable werewolf; lonely, misunderstood, forced to live within the constraints of society -"
"I know." Snape said smugly.
"Well, it's hardly something to argue about," began Ron.
"Oh, we're not arguing," Snape said, "you'll know when we're arguing."
"How will I know?"
"What?"
"How will I know when you're arguing?"
"Well, it'll be obvious," offered Remus, "you'll know. It's just an expression."
"But what if I don't know?" said Ron pointedly. "I mean, I thought I knew then, didn't I? But I was wrong. So what if the next time, I think I know, how will I know that I know, and that I'm not just thinking it?"
"What?"
"Could you please stop having that conversation, you're driving me crazy," said Harry desperately, "I have a question."
"Shoot, Harry," said Remus kindly.
"Shoot what?" Ron whispered.
"No, Ron, that's another expression. I can give you a book about them if you like," offered Remus.
"That'd be great, because I never really understood those," Ron continued. "I mean, what if someone really means shoot? How're you supposed to know - "
"Will you please shut up! I'm trying to get something straight here!" Harry yelled.
Ron was about to open his mouth again at this, but Hermione silenced him with a look.
"Okay," Harry began, turning to look at Remus, "so you're not a werewolf?"
"I am a werewolf, Harry, we discussed this in the third book, remember?"
"But ... you have a werewolf ... costume?"
"Yes?"
"So you're not a werewolf; you don't transform."
Ron and Hermione tried to hide their smiles as Snape laughed openly.
"Potter, no-one actually transforms these days! All werewolves use costumes now, they have them tailor made once they're bitten. The Ministry has an office for it. Do you think we're living in the Stone Age?!"
Ron and Hermione burst out laughing at this point, and even Remus couldn't hide the small smile forming upon his lips.
"I can't believe you didn't know, Harry, I forget how little you know of the wizarding world."
Harry went bright red as he waited for the laughter to subside, and the lesson to begin.
The Dark Lord stomped about the Riddle house in a foul temper, barking orders at all he saw.
"My Lord, you're back!" cried Lucius, as he hurried towards his master. "How did it go? Did they like it?"
Malfoy's blood ran cold as he saw Voldemort turn slowly to look at him, rage evident upon his bone-white face.
"I don't wish to discuss it, Lucius."
"But, master, you spent so long at this one, and it was very good, everything rhymed - "
"Silence!" the Dark Lord screeched, and Malfoy backed away into his corner." I said I didn't want to talk about it! I have a new plan concerning my original scheme, Lucius. You know what I'm talking about."
Malfoy ran to the cellar to get Voldemort's hot chocolate and marshmallows, a vital combination for any scheming session. As Malfoy opened the last bag of marshmallows, he dreaded what his master would do when he realized what Lucius had been up to. Dropping the last marshmallow into the cup, he left the empty cellar, locking it safely behind him.
After a tiring lesson, Harry crept upstairs to bed, with Ron and Hermione at his side. His scar was prickling.
"I wish I knew what this means," he muttered, as he massaged his searing forehead.
"Oh, Harry, isn't it obvious to you yet? We're near the end of the story, so it's nearly time for the battle between you and Voldemort."
"Aww, not again! He always picks the end of the book, I thought he might do something more intelligent this year."
"That's evil genius's for you - always predictable. I'd watch out for the usuals if I were you, Harry. Stay away from secret passage - ways, giant snakes and shiny trophies tonight, okay?"
"Don't worry, I'm not thick."
As Harry climbed into bed, blissfully unaware as to how thick he really was, he remembered the terrifying dream he had regarding his Firebolt. As he opened his trunk to check on it, a strange sight met his tired eyes.
His Firebolt hissed at him, as it rose up out of the trunk at it's own accord. The broom flashed a bright green as it whipped past Harry and knocked him to the floor. As it crashed out the window, Ron remained sound asleep.
"Ron, Ron, wake up!!!" Harry yelled frantically. He ran towards the girl's sleeping quaters and shouted up the stairs for Hermione. As she entered the boy's room in her dressing gown, she ducked just in time as the broomstick crashed back into the room, making another hole in the window.
"What on earth is going on?"
"I don't know, but I'm going to follow it as usual - want to come?"
"Harry, why would we come with you? We could get killed!"
"But, this is it, the moment we've all been waiting for! This is what we've been leading up to, to boldly go where no man has gone before ..."
"I know, mate, it's just ... you know ... we're kind of tired."
Harry stopped racing around the room after his Firebolt, and stared at his two best friends.
"But ... you always come with me when I do stupid things like this - what's changed?"
"Nothing, Harry, it's just -"
"No, no, that's fine, I get it. Stay here, be safe, what do I care?"
"Oh, shut up, Harry." Hermione looked at Ron, and they both resigned themselves to another daring exploit. "We'll go if it means that much to you."
The trio made a chain by holding hands, and Harry caught on to the bristles of his frantic broomstick.
"Wait a second," interrupted Hermione, "does anyone else thinks it looks like a snake?"
The broomstick suddenly crashed through the window once more, dragging it's heavy load with it, before anyone had a chance to answer.
The Dark Lord stood at a small window in the Riddle House, finishing off his hot chocolate. Malfoy remained in his corner, praying desperately that his master would not demand more marshmallows, as there were none left.
A small smile crept upon the Dark Lord's face, as a broomstick flew through the window, landing abruptly next to Voldemort. Harry, Ron and Hermione scrambled to their feet.
"Can you believe it Lucius!!! The idiot actually followed the broomstick! This just keeps getting easier!"
"Kill him, my Lord!"
"All in good time, Lucius, I must gloat first."
Voldemort shut the door in the little room after all the Death Eaters filed in, laughing merrily at the stupidity of Harry Potter. They formed a circle around the Dark lord and his prey, as Harry shivered in his pyjamis.
"Well, well, well, Potter. We meet again."
"Well, duh. I knew this was going to happen, you know."
"Oh, really? Did you know this was going to happen?"
Voldemort clicked his fingers, and Harry's firebolt flew straight into the Dark Lord's hands.
"NOOOOOOOOOO!!! I can't believe I was right all along! You are trying to steal my firebolt!"
"Yes, Potter, you mentioned that in chapter two, and no-one even noticed. Don't you love it when everything comes together like this in the end?"
"But ... the marshmallows, and the book title ..."
"All will be revealed in my gloating, Potter, which I shall undoubtedly do whilst you devise an escape method," said Voldemort smoothly, happy that everything was going according to plan.
"Ah, yes, you thought you were so clever, didn't you, little baby Potter?"
"Little baby Potter?"
"Yes, well, it was the best I could come up with."
"Actually, you took it from Bellatrix Lestrange. I thought it was awful then too. It doesn't even make sense."
"Shut up, Potter! You are in no position to challenge me, and yet you insist upon it, time and time again!"
Voldemort stared at the surrounding Death Eaters, who were watching curiously.
"Gather round, everyone, and watch this. I am going to finish off the great Harry Potter, and I promise you it will be most amusing for all concerned."
A/N: A special thank you to Auror316, who suggested the werewolf suit for Remus.