Colin Creevey was in the attic bedroom of his mother’s old school friend when it happened. He had been staying there for several months now - ever since the fall of Dumbledore had triggered a rise in You-Know-Who’s power and the Muggle-born Registration Commission had been enforced. Bernie Peterson was his mother’s oldest friend and one of the only people she had entrusted with the secret of her sons’ magical ability. When his mother had explained to a very confused Bernie about the situation in the wizarding world, she offered them shelter and her silence.
It had meant his father giving up his milk round, his mother quitting her job at the call centre and he and Dennis not being able to attend the school they loved. It had disrupted all their lives completely and sometimes Colin felt so overwhelmed with the guilt of tearing his parents away from their lives that he thought he might burst from it. Granted, it was not him that had waged war on the wizarding world and was persecuting hoards of innocents - but he had brought his parents into this world: the world that was currently ruining their previously comfortable lives.
That’s why, when he felt the warm sting of the Dumbledore’s Army coin in his jeans pocket, that he could think of nothing but how to sneak out of the house and answer the call. He knew - he just knew - that they would be called upon once again to fight. That’s why he kept the coin on him at all times - just waiting for Harry to ask them to reassemble. Now that time had come and Colin was ready: he only had to look at the pictures in the album he was holding to realise how ready he was.
There were many pictures in the album. Ever since he had first acquired that camera all those years ago he had barely ever stopped taking them. The ones that Colin was looking at were some of his favourite. There was the one he had taken in his first year of Harry and Lockhart. Harry appeared ill at ease and desperate to leave the confines of the picture, but time seemed to have worn away at his resolve and he merely stood there with a grimace as Lockhart wrapped a restraining arm around him. Colin laughed to himself: he supposed he had been rather over-zealous as an eleven year old - badgering Harry until he had finally relented and allowed a picture to be taken of him. In hindsight, it was probably overwhelming for a twelve year old boy to suddenly find himself idolised when all he wanted was a normal life.
Next to it was a still picture of his parents and Dennis. They had been on holiday in Devon and they were on the beach on a rather drizzly day - but still they all smiled. Colin smiled too: that had been a good day. On the page opposite was a moving picture of himself and his best friend Matilda Murphy - his fellow Muggle-born and Dumbledore’s Army member. He hadn’t seen her for months now, though he attempted to keep in contact with her - despite the dangers involved. She had been such a large part of his life for the past five years; being away from her now was more than odd: it was almost painful. He briefly wondered whether that was normal for friends before movement from his own image distracted him.
He wrapped an arm around her shoulders and she slipped an arm around his waist. They were both grinning at the camera like idiots - just beaming. Colin smiled sadly: he hadn’t been that happy for a long time now. The image of him looked down - not too far down - at his companion and the warmth that radiated from the picture’s eyes shocked him. His eyes moved to the next picture before he thought too long about what that look meant. It was a picture of the whole of Dumbledore’s Army; they were all grouped together side by side.
His smile grew bigger still as he looked at all of their faces. There were some who looked very reluctant to be there but, for the most part, the faces that stared back at him were smiling ones. Colin understood why: they had a cause; a purpose that they were all united by. This picture signified that all of them, from various backgrounds, were banded together. Not just to receive the education that Umbridge had deprived them of, but to learn the skills necessary to fight someone far more dangerous and threatening than some political hag. They were there so that, when the time came, they would have the essential tools to survive: just to survive - winning seemed something so distant and remote that Colin couldn’t even think about it. Well, the time had come and he could waste no more time on memories.
His eyes flicked back to the picture of his family just before he closed the album. If there had been any flicker of doubt in his mind that what he was about to do wasn’t the right thing - it had been immediately snuffed out at the sight of that photograph. He hadn’t seen them smile like that for a long time - too long. When Colin brought them into the world of magic, he never once dreamed that this would happen; that they would be holed up in Bernie’s attic having to put their whole lives on hold because of what he and Dennis were. Well, no longer: he was going to fight for them, for his friends, for Matilda; for himself. If it was going to be the end of this war, he wasn’t about to sit at home with a cup of tea and wait it out. He was going to fight alongside Harry and the DA - there was no other option in Colin’s mind.
He stood up with resolve, seizing his wand from his desk and gripping it firmly in his hand. He inhaled deeply and then exhaled slowly. He wouldn’t tell anyone he was going - that would be stupid: particularly Dennis. He didn’t want his little brother following - he was too young to be involved in all of this. He would just disappear with a ‘pop’ and they would be none the wiser - hopefully. He had decided that Apparating was the only way he could get there. He had heard horror stories about ‘splinching’ which didn’t sound at all fun. He knew he couldn’t Apparate to Hogwarts, so he decided to Apparate to Hogsmeade and attempt to get into Hogwarts that way - if at all possible. Harry wouldn’t have summoned them if there wasn’t some way to get in.
His eyes flicked around the room he had called home for the past few months. He had tried to make it seem more welcoming. A poster of Manchester City hung above his bed and he had made a collage of photos of family and friends that covered the opposite wall. His bed covers were old ones of his with dinosaurs on them - they were secretly his favourite. He looked to his nightstand. There were two frames there: one containing a picture of his entire family with both sets of grandparents. It was taken a nearly a year ago on his birthday. The second picture was a moving one of Matilda and him having a snowball fight in the Hogwarts grounds. Hogwarts - that’s where he needed to be. He sighed and closed his eyes as he pictured the first place he could think of in Hogsmeade - that dodgy pub where the DA had first assembled. He couldn’t think of a more appropriate place.
He licked his dry lips and chanted ‘Destination, Determination and Deliberation’ in his head over and over again until they lost all meaning. He tensed every muscle in his body as he tried his utmost to disappear from Bernie’s attic and reappear outside that dingy pub. When he opened one eye, however, he found himself to be in exactly the same spot. The second and third attempt saw him land squarely on his bottom as he accidentally spun himself around in his effort to Apparate. Gritting his teeth in frustration, he righted himself once again and held the wand so firmly he feared he might snap it in two. He didn’t understand it: he knew where he was going; he was most definitely determined to get there and yet still he did not move.
Colin tried again, picturing the place, the people and the bartender. He remembered the slight sticky feeling of his shoes against the floor and the strong smell that reminded him of when he used to go to the farm with his parents when he was younger. He remembered the old oak door and the darkened alleyway that ran down the side of the building. He remembered approaching the building with Matilda and Dennis and reassuring them that it was definitely the place that Ginny had told him about. He remembered catching Matilda before she fell over on the ice on the front step of the tavern and the grateful smile she gave him as he did so. He remembered all these things and then he disappeared with a small ‘pop.’
It was a sensation unlike any he had ever experienced before. He felt as if he was being compressed and all his extremities were shrinking into themselves. Everything was black and he struggled to breathe but he attempted to remain calm. This is what the book had said would happen - granted, he didn’t realise quite how vile it would feel. It didn’t get any better once he arrived at his location, either. Disorientated from his travels, Colin stooped and retched, heaving out the remnants of his dinner and shaking him so much that he scarcely noticed the sound of alarms going off and the light cracks of others Apparating not too far from him.
He barely had time to collect himself as the side door of the tavern swung upon and a firm hand gripped his arm. Colin started and nearly emitted a very feminine squeak when he was yanked firmly into the inn. He was powerless to resist the figure as he was still weak from his Apparating debut. He briefly caught sight of his kidnapper and saw that he was an older gentleman - he had a strong grip for an old man. He pulled Colin down a narrow corridor and thrust him into a room that Colin guessed was behind the bar.
It was only then that Colin finally got a good look at the man’s face. He could not hold the gasp back. He was almost certain that he was staring at the face of his old Headmaster. However, on closer inspection, there were slight differences. His hair was stringy and his nose less crooked than Dumbledore’s. His expression was not serene as his Headmaster’s had always been, but was a mixture of extremely annoyed and rather tired.
–Bloody kids trampling all over my house!†he was mumbling to himself. Colin was about to ask his name when he was shoved hard into a slightly bigger room - he would have said the sitting room, but he couldn’t take time with such details when he caught sight of the figures inside the room. There were two older students who Colin recognised from the DA but could not put names to, but they scarcely held his attention as his eyes zoned in on a small girl with curly blonde hair and a pinkish face.
–Tilly!†he all but shouted in his excitement. Matilda started at the exclamation, but the alarm on her face swiftly left and was replaced by a beaming smile.Without pausing for thought, he ran up to her and wrapped his arms around her completely, squeezing her so tightly that he was possibly cracking a few of her ribs in the process. Merlin, he didn’t realise how much he’d missed her until that moment. He inhaled the familiar scents of roses from the shampoo she always used and he held her tighter still. He probably wouldn’t have let go if the old man hadn’t caused him to jump with his gruff reprimands.
–I found this one round the side. Thought he could just Apparate into Hogsmeade and the Death Eaters wouldn’t all swarm down on him like locusts.†The man gave him an incredulous glare and Colin’s stomach dropped. The voices - they had been Death Eaters. He felt overwhelming gratitude towards the man: he had saved him from an unpleasant fate. –Haven’t you heard about the Caterwauling Charm placed around Hogsmeade? You can’t simply Apparate into Hogsmeade anymore, boy - it’s not like it used to be,†he said bitterly. Colin frowned slightly and shook his head apologetically.
–I’m sorry, sir. I’m Muggle-born - I’ve been in hiding for the past few months; I’m not too sure what’s been happening in the wizarding world.†Tilly nodded her head in agreement and he cast her a small smile. The old man snorted humourlessly and shook his head.
–All hell’s been breaking loose - that’s what,†he said roughly. –Dementors and Death Eaters patrolling the streets like they own the place; Hogwarts and the Ministry run by Voldemort’s cronies; people disappearing left, right and centre and no one blinking an eye for fear of what would happen to them if they speak out about it.â€
–Well, not anymore,†piped up one of the older students defiantly. Colin nodded in wholehearted agreement and the old man looked between them with a mixture of amusement and pity.
–You really think this is the end, then? That Tom Riddle - the greatest Dark Wizard of all time - will be outfoxed by a bunch of children?†He laughed scathingly at this and Colin brought himself up to his full height - which was not very high.
–Harry Potter’s a child and he’s faced You-Know-Who three times and lived. There have been adults who haven’t been so lucky,†The man surveyed him keenly for a few long silent moments.
–How old are you, boy?†he asked gruffly. Colin’s cheeks pinked a little - he was still underage and he looked young for his age as it was. He titled his chin up proudly as he answered the old man.
–Old enough to fight alongside the rest of the DA,†he said with conviction. The man’s brow wrinkled further and he appeared somewhat confused.
–The DA?â€
–The group we formed two years ago to learn how to defend ourselves when that foul Umbridge woman took over Hogwarts - Dumbledore’s Army,†he informed his interrogator promptly. A strange expression came over the man’s face. There was a certain sadness to it but there was anger and a sort of bitter humour to it as well.
–Ah, I see,†he began slowly with a sneer. –I’m sure wherever Albus is, he would be incredibly proud that children were marching to their deaths in his name. He had a wonderful habit of doing that, my brother: inspiring people to acts of great stupidity.†His tone was harsh, but Colin scarcely noticed after he heard the word ‘brother.’ That certainly explained their uncanny similarity. However, Colin could not imagine two more different people in terms of temperament. He briefly wondered what had happened to make this Dumbledore so bitter, but his thoughts were interrupted by Matilda’s voice.
–With respect, sir, we do not fight for your brother. We’re fighting for ourselves; for our families; for the freedom that You-Know-Who has robbed us of. ‘Dumbledore’s Army’ is just a name.†Colin could do nothing but nod dumbly at this speech. He agreed, but he was still reeling from the fact that this man was related to their Headmaster. The man stared at Matilda through narrowed eyes for a moment before allowing the briefest wry smile to settle on his lips.
–Oh to be young and so full of hope,†he said wistfully with sadness tingeing his words. Before any of them could respond, Colin noticed some movement come from the picture frame hanging on the centre of the wall. The figure was walking down what appeared to be a long corridor and was approaching them gradually. As she came closer, Colin saw that she was a girl with long flowing blonde hair - quite young from the appearance of the portrait. She had slightly melancholy eyes and she seemed pale and washed out against her royal blue robes. Colin was surprised to see the old man’s expression soften upon seeing her.
–Ariana, good, I wonder whether you could alert whoever is in the Room of Requirement that they are to receive more troops?†he asked softly and in a more polite tone than he had used with Colin. The girl nodded and turned back the way she had come with a smile. They were silent for a couple of long minutes, in which time Matilda’s hand found Colin’s and gave it the smallest of squeezes. He squeezed it back and marvelled at how such a small gesture could make him feel more reassured.
–Mr Dumbledore-â€
–Aberforth, please,†he corrected the girl from the DA who had spoken. Colin noticed the smallest, almost imperceptible twitch at the mention of his last name.
–Aberforth...who is the girl in the portrait - if you don’t mind me asking?†she added uncertainly, and he understood why, given Aberforth’s demeanour thus far tonight. The man did not scold or chastise, however. He merely adopted a sad sort of expression and stared at the spot that the girl in the portrait had just vanished from. He was silent for a moment and Colin thought that he might not answer - it was a rather personal question after all.
–That was Ariana Dumbledore - my sister.†Colin blenched - he didn’t realise quite how little he knew about his former Headmaster until tonight. The sadness with which Aberforth talked about her suggested that something terrible had happened to her and they were all wise enough to leave him to his silent contemplations until he decided it was time for them to leave.
Once a suitable amount of time had passed - about five minutes or so - he gruffly told them to be on their way and ushered them through the secret passageway behind the portrait of his sister. Colin allowed the two older students and Matilda to go through before him and paused momentarily, turning to Aberforth. The old man looked weary and slightly startled that Colin was not following the others - his shock was only increased as he held out his hand to the older man.
–Thank you, sir. I would have been captured by the Death Eaters if it weren’t for you,†Colin said sincerely. Aberforth did not take his hand and merely stared at it for a very long moment. He almost considered retracting it in embarrassment, but then the old man seized it in his own and shook it once.
–You take care of yourself and that girl of yours,†he mumbled throatily, not quite meeting Colin’s eyes. –Now, be on your way - they’ll be waiting for you,†he dismissed him and retracted his hand, turning away from Colin and standing next to the fireplace, gazing at the dwindling embers. He was momentarily stunned by Aberforth’s ‘kindness’ - for lack of a better term - and his assumption about the relationship between himself and Matilda. However, this was soon swept from his mind as he heard her call him from further down the corridor. He entered the passageway and began to hurry down it without a backward glance.
It didn’t take too long, winding down the never-ending corridor, until they reached their destination. When they did, they were met by a scene that Colin had never imagined seeing: people dashing about, barely having enough time to greet them and most of them not even spotting them at all. It seemed that these people had not too long arrived themselves and were receiving instructions from an older man that Colin didn’t recognise as to where to go. He had heard that the students were assembling in the Great Hall now: that’s where they needed to be.
They both walked in silence as they followed the winding, familiar corridors of Hogwarts. Many of the portraits were empty: possibly sensing the impending fight or perhaps trying to get closer to where they could see the action. Colin could scarcely take in that this was the school where he had spent five happy years of his life. Something about it didn’t seem the same. From the sky outside to the dreary colour of the floor and stone walls: it was grey. The castle had always been grey, of course, but it had never embodied the word quite as much as it did now. It was as if the Dementors of Azkaban had sucked the life from it.
Colin gritted his teeth as he raced past his former classrooms and descended the numerous staircases. The entire place was deserted, for the most part. He could hear the increased volume of voices the closer they came to the Hall and he cursed his legs for not being able to carry him there faster. Next to him, Matilda stumbled slightly and he steadied her instinctively with a small smile. She looked back at him nervously and tried to give him a strained smile in return. Looking at her now, he realised how small she was. Not just short, but slender and fragile - like she could break with little effort. He set his jaw determinedly: he would let no one break her.
The sight he was greeted with when they arrived in the Great Hall was that of all the students sorted out into their houses, all watching McGonagall with varying degrees of interest. Colin’s core felt warm as he and Matilda sidled up to the rest of the Gryffindors. He spotted several students from his year and some returned from the year above. In amongst them he saw Harry. In the same second his heart leapt as his eyes landed upon the hope for them all and then dropped as another voice drowned out that of their Head of House.
*"I know that you are preparing to fight. Your efforts are futile. You cannot fight me. I do not want to kill you. I have great respect for the teachers of Hogwarts. I do not want to spill magical blood," said a cool, piercing voice that made the fine hairs on the back of Colin’s neck rise with uncomfortable anxiety. The voice was disembodied and appeared to originate from the very walls and foundations of the castle. It reverberated in his head and he almost thought he imagined it - but then he saw the horror on his peers’ faces as the voice spoke again and he was certain, this time, that he imagined nothing.
*–Give me Harry Potter and they shall not be harmed. Give me Harry Potter and I shall leave the school untouched. Give me Harry Potter and you will be rewarded.†Silence as terrible and heavy as any he had felt before fell on the Hall and Colin felt as though someone was pressing against his head from all sides.
*"You have until midnight."
Colin knew the voice would say no more - it was as if its hold on the room had been retracted. He knew well who that voice belonged to, and he knew everyone else did as too - not least Pansy Parkinson who screamed something utterly ridiculous about turning Harry over to You-Know-Who. Colin didn’t even have to think. He stood in front of Harry at the same time as all the other Gryffindors, closely followed by the Hufflepuffs and the Ravenclaws. Never mind the fact that they were scared children and that He Who Must Not Be Named would likely send his minions to kill them all if they didn’t turn Harry over - Harry Potter was just a boy, and he did not deserve to die after everything he had done for them. Besides, it was not over yet - he recognised in many of the others in the room the same hunger and desperation he felt. Those Death Eaters were going to have a fight on their hands.
With a sense of satisfaction, he watched as the Slytherins marched out of the Great Hall with a mixture of resentment at being ordered to do so and relief at not being made to fight. His chest tightened, however, as McGonagall ordered the underage witches and wizards to depart. Colin surreptitiously tried to hide himself behind the taller figure of Dean Thomas and noticed his friend, Jimmy Peakes attempting to do the same behind an older Gryffindor girl, but with little success. He winced as McGonagall barked at them to leave but widened his eyes as he realised that she hadn’t spotted Matilda. As the older witch hustled them out, he threw a desperate look behind him to his best friend who suddenly seemed lost amongst the group of older and more experienced students. He had to find a way back to her - that was non-negotiable.
There was a huge group of them heading towards the main staircase and Colin knew he had to act quickly. He needed to be able to see what was going on in the Hall without being spotted himself. That was when he spotted it - a small cupboard next to the staircase, possibly where Filch kept some of his supplies. He noticed Jimmy following his gaze and, with reluctance, he realised he was going to have to let the boy come with him. There were prefects ushering them towards the back of the crowd and he had no idea how they were going to sneak passed them to enter the cupboard. Whilst he was trying to devise a plan, however, a flash of white light enveloped his vision, blinding him entirely.
He nearly screamed or started like everyone else, especially when he felt a strong hand wrap around his wrist and pull him away from the others. It was only when he was plunged from blinding light into pitch blackness that he realised what had happened. The space he was in was cramped and musty and he was almost certain that one of his feet was currently residing in a bucket. He ignored this, however, as he desperately tried to listen to the voices outside. After an attempt to establish what the disturbance was, the prefects decided to keep on moving as McGonagall initially told them. It was only then that Colin found it safe to speak to his kidnapper.
–What did you use on them anyway?†he asked in an undertone.
–It’s a new Weasley’s Wizarding Wheezes product: a Strobe Stunner Stick. It looks like a Muggle glow stick, but when you crack it; it blinds all but the one holding it. Crack it back, then it stops glowing,†Jimmy explained swiftly. Colin nodded and then rolled his eyes.
–Not exactly the most subtle exit,†he pointed out wryly. Jimmy elbowed him in the ribs good-naturedly - though, due to his size, it was a rather painful experience.
–It worked, didn’t it?†he pointed out defensively. Colin laughed slightly and looked towards the silhouette of his friend.
–It’s been a while, Jimbo,†he said quietly with a smile. He could practically hear Jimmy grimace at the unwanted nickname. It’s something that had caught on in their second year and Colin insisted upon calling him against his will. He felt a hand slap against his arm and, again, Colin expected it was supposed to be an affectionate gesture, but due to the boy’s Quidditch training, it was a lot stronger than expected.
–How have you been, Titch?†It was Colin’s turn to grimace. He had never much liked that nickname himself. He was very aware of his small stature and he supposed that the nicknames had to be expected, really - that didn’t mean he appreciated them.
–About as well as can be expected - I was holed up in my mum’s friend’s attic for about nine months, but it could have been worse,†he rationalised. Jimmy had been at Hogwarts the whole time, being a half-blood, and although Colin didn’t really know what was going on at his school for the past several months, he was positive it could be nothing good.
–What did you do?†Jimmy asked, sounding mildly bewildered by the idea of being confined for so long.
–We went out sometimes - but never for too long and not to the same places. Mostly I sat in and read. Plus, my mum’s friend, Bernie, has a daughter my age, so we’d hang out sometimes,†Colin explained. It felt a bit sad, really, that he could sum up the last nine months in a couple of sentences. Jimmy made a sound to imply his intrigue and Colin felt he knew what was coming next.
–Oooh - was she pretty?†he asked teasingly. Colin blushed and turned his face away from Jimmy - he feared the other boy would be able to see his discomfort, even in the dark.
–I didn’t notice,†he said evasively. Jimmy made a noise of disbelief and Colin, in an attempt to distract his friend, popped the door open slightly and peeped through the crack. As far as he could see, she had not yet left the Hall. The remaining students were being given instructions and sorted into numerous groups to defend the various parts of the castle. He couldn’t see her - but he knew she was still in there; he could feel it.
–She hasn’t left yet - don’t worry,†Jimmy commented, realising what he was looking at without Colin even having to say anything. Colin made a throaty noise of acknowledgement but didn’t say anything in response. He leant back against the wall and looked back to the silhouette of his friend.
–How has it been - here, I mean?†Colin asked cautiously, knowing that the answer was not going to be a positive one, even before he asked it. His friend snorted humourlessly and he could see his head shake from side to side in the sliver of light that came from the partially door.
–It’s not Hogwarts anymore,†he said plainly and with sadness tingeing his voice. He cleared his throat and continued. –Snape’s bad - the Carrows are worse,†he said grimly. Colin frowned; he was unfamiliar with these ‘Carrows.’
–The Carrows?†he asked curiously. Jimmy made a noise of distaste and clucked his tongue.
–The siblings from Hell,†Jimmy said with a snort. –They teach Defence against the Dark Arts - which should probably just be called ‘Dark Arts’ now - and Muggle Studies, respectively. Their detentions make Umbridge’s look like they really were just lines.†Colin could just about make out his friend’s body shuddering and he felt his chest well up with pity. Colin’s time at Bernie’s hadn’t exactly been easy - but he didn’t know how he would have coped with the constant presence of such horrible and oppressive figures like Snape and the Carrows.
–That sounds...†Colin trailed off - he didn’t know what he could possibly say to convey how utterly terrible that sounded. Jimmy grunted quietly in reply.
–McGonagall and the others have tried their hardest to protect us, but they’re too strong. Defying them means unbearable pain at best,†Jimmy commented tonelessly. Colin didn’t want to know what ‘at worst’ was.
–Not anymore, though,†Colin tried to say brightly. –The DA is back and the professors are setting up defences. I saw a whole load of adults I didn’t recognise - maybe Aurors. We’re fighting back this time,†he said with determination. Jimmy made a non-committal noise that Colin didn’t quite understand.
–Yeah, I suppose you’re right,†Jimmy replied in a tone of voice that suggested to Colin that he wasn’t sure of anything at all. They both ignored this, however, and lapsed into silence for a long time as they watched the progression of things out in the Hall. They both knew that they could carry on with small-talk and chitchat: but now was not the time for it. There was a time and a place for mindless chatter and in a broom cupboard waiting to sneak back into the most important fight in wizarding history, was not it.
The first couple of groups left and ran past them up the stairs. Colin supposed they might be guarding some of the secret passageways that were rumoured to be around Hogwarts. There were a couple sent to the various entrances to the school. He gnawed on his bottom lip and barely noticed the heavy breathing of his companion worryingly close to his ear as he too was trying to get a look through the partially opened door. Colin couldn’t think of anything apart from the fact that he hadn’t seen Matilda yet.
That’s why, when he saw her emerging with another group of older students and a couple of Professors and other adults he didn’t recognise, that he wanted to start towards her and join them immediately. He even made towards the door, but the same firm grip that had led him in, hindered his progress. He looked up to his friend with irritation and tried to shake him off, but his grip only tightened further. Colin rolled his eyes and made a short exhaling sound of irritation.
–Jimmy - they’re going now! We have to follow them!†Colin exclaimed, nearly forgetting that he was supposed to be quiet.
–What good will bursting out now do us? McGonagall will see us and send us straight back,†Jimmy pointed out fairly. However, in his less than rational state, Colin could only guffaw at him rudely.
–So your big plan is to wait out the battle in a cupboard?†he asked mockingly. Jimmy’s hold tightened on him a fraction and then returned to normal.
–Of course not,†he said tersely. –I want to be there, believe me, I do. After everything they’ve done to all of us this year, I want to make them pay. But we have to be patient and calm about it. We can’t just charge in and expect them not to bat an eyelid,†Jimmy finished with slight weariness. Colin was not entirely convinced but relented on trying to struggle out of his friend’s hold - if only so he would loosen his vise-like grip a little.
–You care about her, don’t you?†Jimmy asked quietly and completely out of the blue. Colin knew instantly who he referred to and then immediately found it odd that he knew at all. He cleared his throat uncomfortably and shrugged a shoulder casually.
–She’s my best friend - of course I do,†he said simply. Despite the lack of light, he could feel Jimmy staring at him for a long, long time - as if he were trying to assess him, even in the blackness.
–Does she know?†he asked bluntly. Colin blenched a little - he didn’t really know what Jimmy meant by that, but he didn’t really desire to continue the conversation so he nodded his head with a vague reply.
–I think so...†Colin didn’t have much of an idea of what he was agreeing to, but Jimmy merely cleared his throat and continued.
–Well, let’s hope she does - we’re going to join the fight soon and there’ll be no time to tell her then,†he said gruffly in a sort of choked voice that Colin didn’t truly understand.
–I could tell her after,†Colin pointed out, still not sure what he was supposed to be telling her - that she was his best friend, presumably. He thought it was obvious, but he would tell her, just so she was sure.
–Yes,†Jimmy breathed quietly, –after...†His voice trailed off and Colin tried to ignore the uncertainty in the boy’s voice and the slight sniff that accompanied his words. He said nothing more and they lapsed into silence. It was long and stretched with the weight of all that was happening around them. Jimmy still wouldn’t let him leave because there were people in the Great Hall - those who would send them back instantly if they caught sight of them.
He was weary of waiting - he had done enough of that already. It had been some time since he had seen Matilda march off with the mixed group of students and teachers. They could have taken position already, perhaps even be fighting in the thick of it all. He couldn’t hear anything from his position in the cupboard - except for Jimmy’s heavy breathing - but that didn’t mean that the battle hadn’t started; it didn’t mean that with every minute that ticked by, Matilda couldn’t be in danger.
The thought of her being there and him not being right there next to her made him shift on the spot almost constantly - earning him many frustrated looks from Jimmy. He just wanted to charge out and leave. He didn’t understand what the people in the hall were doing anymore. He supposed they were strategising and sorting into groups and he supposed that he could hardly blame and curse them for doing so - it was a necessity after all. However, all he wanted was for them to move. Against all logic and reason he couldn’t shake the nagging voice that told him that his needs were greater - however selfish it was.
The people in that Hall were talking tactics; they were helping devise a plan to ward off the impending, and possibly current, attacks on the castle. Colin, however, although he desperately wanted to be involved in the fight because it was the right thing to do, had another reason on top of that. He had to find his best friend. He had to see if she was okay. He had to fight through the crowds to even catch a glimpse of her. He had to be by her side - whatever the cost. Whatever the cost...Colin clenched his jaw as he contemplated those words. They sounded so melodramatic and clichéd - but that didn’t stop it from being the truth and it certainly wasn’t going to stop him from bursting out of that cupboard.
As he wrenched the door open he heard a strangled yelp from Jimmy and he felt the taller boy grasp at the hem of his sleeve in an attempt to stop him. Colin shook him off - if he was going to do this, it needed to be fast and unimpeded. He remembered the direction in which he had watched Matilda and her group stride off towards. He knew it led towards the west of the grounds, with the Forbidden Forest and the groundskeeper’s house. It would make sense to station a couple of groups there and that’s where he would head and maybe he would find her - no, he would find her.
He could hear Jimmy trailing after him now, but he couldn’t turn around to check - he didn’t want to risk any of those still in the hall from seeing him or having the opportunity to stop him. He just concentrated on putting one foot in front of the other. Right, left, right, left, right - he stopped, or, at least, someone else stopped him. His heart leapt wildly up to his throat for a moment before he felt himself being whipped around. He braced himself for facing an older student or, worse still, a professor. Instead, Colin found himself facing a rather desperate and irritated-looking Jimmy Peakes.
–What on earth do you think you’re doing?†he asked in an urgent whisper. Colin shook him off with some difficulty and couldn’t help the scowl that crept onto his face.
–What does it look like?†he asked rhetorically. –I wasn’t about to wait in that wretched cupboard a moment longer. The fight is going on right now and I can’t stand not being a part of it!†he exclaimed before turning on his heel without waiting for a reply. He sent his friend one last shout over his shoulder. –You can join me if you like, or you can go back and hide - your choice,†he said a bit harsher than intended. Colin was not one for cruelty or hurting people’s feelings, but he did not have time to worry about that now. He didn’t have time for Jimmy’s concern or interruptions. As he said, the fight was going on as they spoke - and he’d already missed enough.
As he carried on down the corridor and towards the exit, Colin saw the vague outline of Jimmy appearing in his peripheral vision. He was glad, he supposed, for the company. If he was to find Matilda, he could use an extra set of eyes. Besides, he needed friends at a time like this. Colin tensed every time someone passed them in the corridor. But they did not stop or censure them: they had their own problems. The pace at which they were travelling was indicative of their urgency. He wondered if that meant it had really started. And then he didn’t have to wonder anymore.
He could see the outdoors now - the double doors were thrown wide open. Usually when he looked out into the grounds of Hogwarts at night he would see the deep navy sky and a smattering of glistening stars. He would see Hagrid preparing for his classes for the next day and the light of the fire emanating from his hut. He would see the glowing full moon and the wind blowing through the swaying branches of the Whomping Willow. But now - well, now the sky glowed still. It glowed contrasting reds and green with the odd flash of blue.
Spells - they flew through the air from every direction possible. Sometimes they shot past their intended victims and sometimes they aimed true. They were accompanied by shouts - so many that they were indistinguishable from one another. Colin could not have separated them even if he had tried. He supposed they were the sounds of attacks and counterattacks. But occasionally something else would creep in: screams. Colin pushed them to the back of his mind to that place that he kept all the other negative things he felt and that could potentially damage him now.
He gripped his wand firmly in his hand as he stood on the threshold. He had unconsciously slowed to a halt, but he was glad he done so. He needed this - just a few seconds to collect himself. He inhaled and exhaled deeply and closed his eyes for a moment. He thought that perhaps this is when he was supposed to pray. But he had long since stopped believing in the existence of any such God. He couldn’t reconcile God with magic - certainly not You-Know-Who. Instead, he sighed and whispered silently to his parents that he loved them. He hoped by some miracle that they had heard him.
–Ready?†He heard the nervous voice of Jimmy beside him. Colin’s eyes flicked open and he turned them up towards the anxious brown ones of his friend. There was such fierce determination in his face that he could scarcely see the fear - but it was there; he recognised it well. Colin smiled grimly and patted him on the arm, gripping it firmly for a moment.
–Not really; you?†Colin said tightly with his lips twitching into a slight smile. Jimmy emitted a breathy laugh with little humour to it and a lot of tension. He shook his head and Colin noticed the rise and fall of his breath increase.
–I’m scared, Titch,†he mumbled, clearly embarrassed to admit it. Colin tried to smile at him encouragingly but couldn’t even manage a grimace.
–You’d be stupid not to be,†he said simply. Jimmy snorted and nodded in acknowledgment but said nothing - there was nothing more to say. –Let’s go, Jimbo,†he said with one last pat on the arm. He saw Jimmy give a stiff nod out of the corner of his eye and heard a short bark-like laugh as they took their first step.
–The last thing I hear you say to me better not be that ridiculous nickname,†Jimmy said with a shake of his head. Colin laughed and was about to retort with a reference to the fact that Jimmy called him ‘Titch,’ when they finally saw it - what they were truly up against. The laughter died on his lips. He felt it drain from his face like an ice cream melting down its cone - it just slipped off and was replaced by horror.
It was Hogwarts - but it wasn’t. There was a big difference between knowing that fighting was going on and seeing it happen. That difference was seeing the people - the screwed up faces and the snarls; the bent postures and the staggering figures. He wasn’t even close yet and he could see them - paired or grouped off; fighting with everything they had. Now he was to be one of them. Merlin, he so badly didn’t want to be in that moment. But he had to - he had about as much choice in that matter as he did in possessing the magic that ran through his veins.
And so he ran. He ran and ran - but not away as perhaps would have been the logical or sensible thing to do. But he ran towards the fear; towards the deadly match below. His legs just moved rapidly underneath him and the momentum carried him further forwards and faster than he had thought himself capable of. Even Jimmy, a fit and energetic Quidditch player, lagged behind him. The wind rushed through his mousy locks and blew them clean off his face. It stung his eyes and they started to water. He blinked them rapidly. He needed to see for this - he needed to see her and he needed to see his enemies.
When he was but twenty feet away from the fight and not too far from the Forbidden Forest, he slowed his pace and stretched out the wand in his hand, separating himself from the crowd as he scrutinised their faces. The Death Eaters were easy to spot in their notorious masks and Colin thought that perhaps he could identify the slightly glazed focus of the Imperuised individuals. It was the allies he was having trouble with. Their normally peaceful expressions were now scowls of displeasure and their hair was windswept and masked their faces. Though he scanned the crowd, he could not yet see Matilda. Damn, he thought. But he would find her - even if he had to use every spell Harry had taught them in the DA meetings on every Death Eater in his way - he would find her.
So, Colin Creevey closed that last twenty feet, and he joined the fight against the couple of dozen of Death Eaters who had breached that part of the grounds. He shook as he cast his first Stunning Spell at a rather weedy looking Snatcher from behind. He knew it scarcely counted - but it was his first hit in battle, and it was successful; it gave him the boost of confidence he needed. He dodged a spell from another Snatcher nearby - clearly irritated at Colin’s sudden arrival and success. He sent a poorly aimed Body-Bind curse back in retaliation. Although it missed his intended target, it hit a Death Eater instead, so, overall, he took that as a positive.
To his left he could see Jimmy duelling with another older-looking witch that Colin did not recognise as a Professor against another Death Eater. He was about to start towards them and help when another duelling pair came into his path. It was Professor Sinistra fighting against a mean and hefty-looking masked man. Colin raised his wand, preparing to cast another Stunning Spell. However, no sooner had he uttered the words than the man brought up a strong and resilient Shield Charm. A far stronger wizard than Colin could not have penetrated it. The Death Eater turned to him, enraged, and silently cast ‘Incarcerous’ upon him. Colin felt the ropes constricted around him tightly: squeezing his chest and pressing his lungs painfully into his ribcage.
It was a fatal mistake on the Death Eater’s part and Professor Sinistra cut him down without blinking whilst he was distracted by Colin. He felt sick - even after Sinistra released him from his restraints. His breath was caught somewhere deep in the caverns of his chest and he wanted to exhale - he really did, but, Merlin - he had never seen someone die before. And, perhaps worse still, he had never seen someone take life with such ease. He briefly wondered when his Astronomy teacher, who he had always considered a rather severe woman, had learned to kill without even flinching. It seemed that he had missed more in this past year than he would ever know.
The witch pulled him up roughly by the collar of his robes as if he were a stray puppy. She’s not far wrong, Colin thought wryly. She fixed him with her dark eyes and surveyed him shortly but piercingly. He knew that she was well aware of who he was. He was one of the few who had deemed Astronomy interesting enough to pursue to NEWT level - at least, he would have, were he permitted to attend Hogwarts. Her cold veneer wavered but for a moment as she looked at him. He almost thought she seemed sad. Then she straightened up and glowered down at him.
–Stupid boy,†she admonished before pointing towards a point over Colin’s left shoulder. –She’s over there - not that she should be. Neither of you should be,†she said disapprovingly. Colin threw her a guilty grimace as he tried to ignore the pounding in his ears at her words.
–I don’t think any of us should be, Professor,†he pointed out simply. He stayed long enough to catch her thoughtful gaze, and then he was gone - headed for the point she had told him of seconds before. He strode through the gaps between the combatants - occasionally dodging a stray spell. One flash of red light almost collided with him, but due to a hasty Shield Charm, he was able to resist the attack. He shot a hasty Stunning Spell over his shoulder but did not see if it hit its target - possibly a reckless idea, but he didn’t stop to consider it.
He only stopped when he saw her - ten feet away in amongst the other feuding combatants. She was fighting a Death Eater alone. Her previous ally had been distracted by a couple of Snatchers and was currently duelling to the left of Matilda and her adversary. Colin momentarily forgot how to move when he saw them. He froze - just staring at them, forgetting that there were spells being cast all around them. He just gazed at her - so thankful and the tiniest bit surprised that she was still okay.
He could see, even from his position several feet away that she was fiercely concentrating on outsmarting her opponent. Her eyes were narrowed and her jaw clenched tensely with her teeth gritted slightly. Her sandy blonde curls whipped round her face as she constantly dodged the onslaught of attacks. Her Shield Charms were strong but her opponent was older, more experienced and far more ruthless. It was only a matter of time before he overpowered her somehow.
That thought shocked him into movement and he strode towards the pair with renewed determination. It was not a moment too soon, as when he had moved but a couple of yards, he saw her stumble slightly and, for the first time, her shield failed her. Colin didn’t have to think twice - there wasn’t time. He stretched his wand out and uttered another Stunning Spell. He felt the power course through him as he did so and he was pretty sure it was his most powerful one yet. Sure enough, the intended target fell almost instantly - crumpled into a heap by the force of the spell. Matilda, who had managed to right herself, looked round wildly for her saviour - and then she found him.
Her eyes softened instantly and a small smile broke out onto her lips. It was a slight quirk, a twitch even - but it was still a smile, and it was all for him. Her tired eyes and windswept hair paled into insignificance in comparison to that smile. It gave life to her pallid face and flooded him relief at the fact that he had helped her; he had saved her and done some good. Sure, he had already fought a couple of adversaries and been lucky, but he had not truly helped anyone. Now he had - and it was Matilda he had helped. He couldn’t help but return her smile. He hoped she caught it, because the next minute she had joined an old DA member in fighting another Death Eater. Colin sighed, before breathing in deeply and looking up to find another adversary to fight. He didn’t have to look far - there was one just in front of him. Colin gasped and raised his wand arm lightning fast - but something was wrong. He looked down and the problem became painfully clear.
He had no wand. His fist grasped air. He merely blinked a couple of times - not really understanding fully what was happening. He heard a low rumble of laughter and he looked up to the masked figure. He was holding two wands in his hand and before Colin’s eyes he snapped one of them. No, he thought. The Death Eater threw the fragments to the ground and Colin followed them with his eyes. No, his mind reiterated once again. It wasn’t - it couldn’t be possible. That couldn’t be his wand - could it? He looked around wildly, as if he were expecting to see it elsewhere. He didn’t.
He looked next for someone, anyone, who could help him. But there was no one. They were each immersed in their own battle. Jimmy was fighting some way away and doing a rather good job of it. Professor Sinistra was battling two Death Eaters at the same time; she was in no position to help him, even if she could see what was going on. His eyes landed on Matilda once more. She was still locked in a fierce battle and couldn’t help him as he had helped her. Something in his chest constricted as he watched her. What if she needed help again? He wouldn’t be able to protect her - not now.
But as he watched her, he noticed how adept she had become at duelling. He wondered when that had happened, when she had become so capable - far more capable than him. She was the one still fighting; the one who still had a chance. Colin was the one standing there, useless, without his wand. He had no one to protect him; nothing to hide behind. Nothing...nothing - that word rang through his head at a deafening volume. No! He wanted to scream. I’m not done yet! The devastated voice inside him insisted. He wasn’t; he had so much more to do. He wasn’t finished.
He thought about how wanted to finish his NEWTs and graduate from Hogwarts. He thought about seeing his brother graduate and his parents getting out of their current state of isolation. He thought about how he wished to see Harry ending this war and You-Know-Who’s tyranny. He thought of his career as a freelance photographer and perhaps later getting a stable job as a photographer for the Daily Prophet or perhaps the Quibbler. He thought of starting a family with a wife and children. He had always thought, as long as he had been thinking about those sorts of things, that he would marry Tilly when the time came. He loved her - he was sure of it. There was something about being wandless and at the mercy of a heartless murderer that gave you that sort of clarity. He briefly wondered if she knew. He thought it - screamed it with his mind as loudly as he could, in the hopes that she could somehow hear: I love you Matilda Carine Murphy.
He turned back to the mean and mocking eyes of his attacker. He was beginning to raise his arm now and Colin knew that there was little hope left. He closed his eyes and thought of his parents. He was so sorry he hadn’t said goodbye to them; he was sorry for what this would do to them. He thought of the last true happy memory he had with all of them together. They went on holiday to Cornwall the previous summer and they were on the beach and it was so sunny and his father was trying to teach him and Dennis how to surf, but they kept falling off and laughing. They had laughed so much Colin’s jaw had ached. He smiled at the memory and opened his eyes.
The man’s arm was raised now and Colin balled his fists up and exhaled deeply. The man’s eyes glinted with malice and his mouth was contorted into a foul sneer. There was a sheen of sweat over the uncovered part of his face and his straggly hair hung in greasy strands. His teeth were bared; gnashing against each other. Colin swallowed heavily. Here goes nothing, he thought, and he pushed off from the ground and charged headlong towards his opponent.
He heard the mingled sounds of a sort of war-cry that appeared to be coming from his own mouth and the harsh incantation coming from the other man’s. He thought he saw a faint hint of surprise flicker onto his opponent’s face - just a widening of the eyes and the slight twitch of the cheek. But then a flash of green came and he couldn’t see him anymore - just the green. He briefly thought how Tilly’s eyes were green.
And then Colin Creevey thought nothing more - not ever again.
There's A Light That Never Goes Out by Alice Mac
Story Notes:
The characters all belong to JKR, I don't own any of them - just my version of Colin's story. The part in the Great Hall where Voldemort contacts them is directly quoted from DH. 'There's a Light That Never Goes Out' is by The Smiths. I don't own this either. Thanks to Alice (theblacksister) for beta-ing this for me - she did a fantastic job!
Chapter Endnotes:
I hope you enjoyed! Please tell me what you thought of it :) * - parts borrowed from DH