I stand here on the rubble of my existence, every feeling, hope, dream, everything, begging my understanding. I look back at the once wonderful life that lead me to the one I now lead. My once happy self never for saw this future.
I stand here on the cliff of nothingness, the clouds are moving and I am seeing and feeling what I never thought possible. The crashing waves below me only remind me of this choice I have made.
I look down the foamy waters below me, bellowing like thunder as they hit the rocky edge. A gust of cold wind brushes my hair back away from my face. I can only image what an on looker would see.
A tattered worn person, who has lost all hope in the human race. The once flawless skin of mine is now covered with wrinkles. Worn by time and the misery that has plagued my life for so many years.
My skirt ripples freely around my ankles. I tip my toes just over the edge and I teeter there for a moment. Thinking back of what brought me to this extreme measure.
I had just started my new job at the Ministry of Magic. I had not yet met my boss. I had dressed nicely. Wearing a blue skirt that went down to just above my knee, it had white trim. I had a white button up shirt on, with full length sleeves.
I was egger to begin work, starting as a secretary and working my way up. I opened the door to my boss’s office, and there was Draco Malfoy. He gave me one of his legendary smirks and gestured to the chair in front of his desk. I tried to keep my composure as I walked nearer to my impending doom. I sat down in the chair; I crossed my legs at my ankles and rested my hands in my lap. He studied me for a moment, it had been four years since school and he had certainly changed.
He had cut his blond hair it was now the length that Harry had it at. It was not gelled back, but hung loosely like Harry’s. He was wearing a blue shirt with no tie, the collar was undone. He had black pants on. His robe was hanging from a coat hanger in the corner of his office. I was surprised at how small his office really was. It was only about 20 feet in length and about 10 feet wide. I was sure he wouldn’t have stood for anything smaller than 20 by 20, but I guess he really didn’t have a choice.
“So you are my new secretary?” Draco asked almost nicely. I nodded gingerly. “I should expect you to be on time every day, no excuses. You will do whatever I tell you to,” I again nodded. “You may work on this for now, I need it organized A.S.A.P,” He handed me a folder and then pointed to a small desk in the corner of the room. It was only about 3 feet by 3 feet. There were some pencils on it and a stapler. There was also a very small light in the right hand corner of the desk, I turned it on. A snorted a small laugh at how ill prepared this desk was. They really did know how to treat people. Draco looked at me questioningly. I placed the folder on the desk and opened it. Inside was a pile of dates and appointments he had. I sighed and began to organize them.
Once they were all organized I looked down at my watch, it was already five o’clock. It had taken me all day to organize all of those dates. I looked around for Draco but he was no where to be found. He had just left me in the office and went home. He was still the same Draco, just as mean as ever. I closed the folder and turned of the light, and walked to the door. I opened the door and in fell Draco with some random girl. He had been making out with her right on the door. I shot a nasty look at him before stepping over him and the girl and leaving the room. I heard him tell the girl to go and his foot steps echoed after me.
“Hermione!” He yelled after me. I stopped dead in my tracks and turned on my heel. “What?” I said trying to control my anger; I kept reminding myself that he is my boss. “I am sorry,” He replied. “What for?” I asked. “For that girl,” He said. “Why should you be sorry, it’s not as if it is any of my business,” I replied. He looked slightly hurt. I had no idea why he would be hurt by that, but I didn’t stick around to find out. I turned again and walked right out of the Ministry.
That was the first of many weird things he said to me, each as unusual as the next. He seemed to care about my feelings, which was a big change for him. I don’t understand what was going through his mind at those times but he could never talk right when he spoke to me. It was over that year that I worked for him that I discovered that his new qualities were very attractive. It wasn’t until my last week of working with him that I discovered that I may have fallen in love with him. Though I never had the guts to say anything, turns out, he didn’t either. I entered the small office on that last day of work, slightly depressed. I had become so accustomed to this office, this job, and my life. I was happy working here, I was just happy to be around Draco.
That last day came and went, very uneventful. It wasn’t until I was standing up from the desk for the last time; I flicked off the light and looked around the office. Draco was staying late and he was sitting huddled over his work. I stood there by my desk looking at him for a moment. He seemed to feel me looking at him and looked up. He stood up, walked over and hugged me. He hugged me so tightly and warmly that I never wanted to leave his arms. My heart was screaming like crazy at me to say something to him, anything about the way I felt, but all I could get out was “I have to go,”. He released me reluctantly, and I turned and walked out of the office and out of his life forever.
Which brings me here, standing on the cliff looking over the edge. It has been about 9 years since I left that job. From that point on, I couldn’t keep a job very long and I bounced from bad job to bad job. Nothing was worth keeping. Harry and Ron lost touch with me over the years.
All I had to do was on that first day when I saw him in that offce, was turn around and leave. Then I wouldn't be standing here alone, looking out at the never ending sea. There is nothing for me here. I am an empty shell. I spend most of my time living in the memory of his arms, longing that I could go back to that time and tell him how I felt. It is to late now though. Here on the edge of the sea my life ends, never knowing how it feels to have requited love.
I tip my feet forward and watch in slow motion as I plummet into the peaceful ragging sea. Ending the pain that people would call my life.
authors note: there you have it, my first one shot... I really just wanted to write but not a full story. Hope you liked it, please review!