The days following Mulciber’s attack on Lily were some of the longest of her life. Rumours quickly spread about what had happened that night but very few had any kernel of truth to them. Students knew that most of the fifth-year Slytherin boys were in trouble and that Mary MacDonald was in hospital. How those things were connected most only guessed at, and those Ravenclaws and Gryffindors who saw what happened were keeping quiet about things. Lily was surprised however, that night in the common room, when several students congratulated her for handing the Slytherins so well. Even the Marauders had something nice to say, though Potter yelled at her for nearly getting herself killed, which Lily thought was a far cry from what actually happened.
Lily and Marlene went to the Hospital Wing every day, sometimes several times a day, to sit with Mary. True to his word Professor Dumbledore came in the night of the attack, after questioning the Syltherins, and spoke to Madame Pomfrey about what Mulciber used on Mary. She was looking less pale every day, but it was nearly a week before she woke up. Lily had never really hated someone before. Sure she found Potter and Black obnoxious, and Tuney made her mad sometimes, but until Mulciber cursed Mary, Lily never actually hated someone. Now she could say she hated Mulciber. And to make matters worse, she didn’t feel he was sufficiently punished for it. Sure, he had lost his Hogsmeade privileges, and he was serving detention with Professor Slughorn or Professor McGonagall almost every night, but he was still a prefect (though on probation). The galling part of it all was that he, and his cronies, blamed Lily for it. None of them seemed capable of accepting that Mulciber’s own actions caused his current predicament.
Since the end of September, Lily became more enmeshed in her classes, her friends, and her prefect duties. The busier she was the less time she had to dwell on how the rise of Lord Voldemort outside the walls of Hogwarts was impacting her life inside the castle. She was doing well in her classes, but now Potions was a difficult class to deal with. Mulciber’s actions impacted her and Severus’s relationship; he started putting distance between them whenever other Slytherins were around. And it was not as though she could try to bridge that gap during class either, as the Gryffindors had taken a united stand against the Slytherins for what had happened. Besides, as Marlene constantly reminded her, Severus was close with Mulciber and could Lily really trust him?
In the wake of Mulciber’s attack, Mary was more skittish and yet also more determined than she had ever been. She’d told Lily, a few days after leaving the Hospital Wing, that while she was scared of what Mulciber and the other Slytherins could do, she planned on working hardest in Defence Against the Dark Arts. Their friendship also strengthened. While they had always been close, they now rarely spent without each others’ company. Marlene, too, spent more time with the girls than she previously had. Nancy and Linda, who were sometimes off on their own as they had a connection outside of Hogwarts, spent more time with their dorm mates than they had before. It seemed the girls had an unspoken agreement that Mary would not be unaccompanied, and Mary was glad for the company.
Lily tried to maintain her friendship with Severus, but her devotion to Mary and his friendship with his dorm mates made it hard. She saw him in the corridors and smiled as she passed, and when she could, she would meet him in the library, but for the first time in nearly a decade, she felt a rift growing between them. This wasn’t helped by the fact that she was becoming closer to Remus from their time spent as prefects. Severus saw her friendship with any of the Marauders akin to a betrayal of him.
Immersing herself in her prefect duties was probably the easiest thing to keep busy with. Lily knew that if she kept her grades up and was a dedicated prefect, she could be Head Girl her seventh year. She typically enjoyed being a prefect; it had plenty of benefits but just as many drawbacks, and normally, Lily ranked patrols as one of the worst drawbacks. Spending over an hour roaming the halls sounded like fun, especially as Lily enjoyed exploring the castle, but unfortunately, patrols were all about making sure students weren’t out of bounds, and Lily detested having to Alohomora closed doors because they were closed for a reason. Finding the amorous couples using the cupboards to snog -- or worse -- was not what she would consider a highlight. There were just some things she didn’t want to know about the Hogwarts students. Lily usually had patrols with Remus, and as fifth years they never had the last shift, but Lily didn’t enjoy that patrolling cut in to her study time. And she didn’t like having to patrol with the older prefects, or ones from other houses.
However, evening patrols like this were the kind she liked best. The castle was quiet at half nine, and the weather hadn’t turned yet, so it wasn’t cold in the corridors. The stars twinkled on the other side of Hogwarts’s many windows, and Lily and Remus strolled along the fifth floor corridor, talking as had become their custom.
Lily didn’t spend much time with Remus outside of class mainly because spending time with Remus also meant spending time with the other Marauders. She liked Remus. She was rather indifferent to Peter; he seemed nice, but Lily didn’t really know much about him because he was always fawning over the last two Gryffindor boys: Sirius Black and James Potter. Lily was loath to voluntarily spend her time with Potter or Black. Black had a tendency -- constantly -- to open his mouth and put his arrogant foot in it, but Potter was worse. Potter’s arrogance was written on his face as he spoke to her. Every time he came up to her, he acted as though she should be honoured to receive his attention because every girl at Hogwarts wanted to be in her position.
But Remus was different. He was just as clever as his friends, just as good-looking, but far more level-headed. Dumbledore saw fit to make him prefect after all. And prefect meant patrols with Lily. She found, in talking to him on these nights, that they had quite a bit in common. They were both more studious than their friends; both knew their way around the library and actually read for pleasure when time allowed it. As a half-blood, he knew a little about the Muggle world, so Lily could share with him her love for The Beatles. She could talk sport too; she knew a little about Quiddich -- and definitely supported Gryffindor when they played -- but she mostly followed football. It was something that allowed her to connect first with her father and then with Remus.
Two corridors ago, they discussed how the new Defence Against the Dark Arts professor was doing; Professor Verteidigen was the fifth professor they had in their five years at Hogwarts. Both of them laughed when they recalled how, as first years, older students told them the job was cursed. Lily reckoned now that there might have been some truth to that statement. Their laughter trailed off, and they slipped into a comfortable silence, wandering the castle together for another few corridors until Remus slowed down.
He walked over to one of the windows that overlooked the front of the castle. Remus tentatively called her name, so she walked over to join him. She wasn’t looking at him with and responded with a vague, ‘Hmm?’ Outside the window, Lily could see the Whomping Willow’s branches moving.
‘You know how we’re supposed to patrol again Monday?’ He glanced at her out of the side of his eye and watched her nod.
‘Yes, of course, the first shift, before Astronomy.’
‘Well, um-’ She picked up on his nervous tone and noticed that he was staring at the floor. Normally, when they spoke, Remus would look at her. More often than not he even met her eyes. But now he was avoiding looking at her at all; something on the floor seemed to be endlessly fascinating. When Remus first posed the question about rounds, Lily quickly envisioned her calendar; now she thought about her Astronomy chart and overlaid the phases of the moon on the calendar. She realized that Monday would be a full moon.
Lily had suspected for months, even before Severus shared his own suspicions, that there was something else going on than what Remus and his friends said. She believed Remus’s mum wasn’t the one who was so frequently ill. The Marauders -- for all they called it his –furry little problem†-- didn’t really fool her. For one, they always seemed concerned for Remus’s safety when his –furry little problem†acted up; that sort of worry was overrated if you were merely talking about a friend’s misbehaving pet. So she tracked his health and realized, like the Marauders had years earlier and as Severus would months later, that all of his absences fell around the full moon. She didn’t confront him about being a werewolf because she wasn’t sure how he’d take the revelation.
This would be the first time, however, that Remus’s condition would interfere with his prefect duties. The more she thought about her calendar and her Astrology chart, Lily knew Remus wouldn’t be so lucky as to only have to deal with the overlap once. And to help him avoid what was already going to be an uncomfortable conversation for him (compounded by the fact that if she let him make his excuses, he would have to have the same conversation with her again), Lily decided to be honest with Remus about what she thought was the truth.
She turned to face him. ‘You’re not going to be able to make it, I know,’ she said with feigned nonchalance.
Remus spluttered. If it was possible, he paled even further than was his normal colouring. ‘What?! I mean, well, yeah, I have-’
Lily cut him off. ‘You have other things to worry about that night, Remus, I know.’
‘You...you know?’ he said sounding both astonished and scared. ‘What do you know, Lily?’ Lily watched him; Remus looked as though someone had put a bubble-head charm on him but hadn’t had the grace to put any air in it first. She put a comforting hand on his shoulder and felt that maybe she should have used a little more tact when talking about his condition.
‘I don’t actually know anything,’ she conceded. She paused and saw the fear in Remus’s eyes. ‘I think that your –furry little problem†isn’t some deranged bunny or overactive rat or untameable gerbil. I don’t believe you even have a pet. And I think that it’s you, not your mum, who needs medical care once a month.’
He took a moment to try and collect himself, and she found that he was staring at her. His voice was barely a whisper when he said, ‘What are you trying to say?’
‘Remus, you’ve been absent once almost every month for over five years. And it’s always around a full moon. Things clicked about halfway through forth year. I didn’t say anything because you didn’t seem to want anyone to know.’ Remus gaped at Lily, his eyes wide, like she had transformed into something truly terrifying.
‘Lily,’ he said in a strangled voice, ‘I can explain.’
Lily smiled as wide as she could and stepped forward to embrace him, but he nervously took several steps back. ‘Oh, Remus, there’s nothing to explain. I can’t imagine how difficult things must be for you, but you’re still Remus.’ He was still too pale, so she asked, ‘Have I treated you any differently this year than I had before?’ Remus opened his mouth to respond, but Lily quickly continued. ‘And being nicer, or more talkative, on rounds doesn’t count!’ she teased.
For the first time in this particular conversation, Remus shared a true smile with her, and she felt they were both a little less nervous. ‘I guess, if I’m not allowed to consider your pleasant company on these evening strolls, then no, you don’t behave any differently to me now than you did since we met,’ he said.
‘So, now that the truth is out-’ she stopped suddenly and looked pointedly at Remus. ‘The truth is out, right? There’s a reason you’re absent each full moon?’ He nodded, albeit reluctantly. ‘Okay, so, now that the truth is out, things won’t change at all.’
‘You say that now,’ Remus started, ‘but how can be sure? I mean, what I have-’
‘Your lycanthropy, you mean,’ Lily said. Remus was noticeably shaken by Lily’s forthright identification of his condition.
‘Yes,’ he said, ‘that. It puts a strain on things.’
‘But Remus, my knowing hasn’t changed how I treat you. You’re still the same polite, hard-working boy in my Ancient Runes class. You’re still you, and you’ve seen that I’m still me. The only difference now is that I know, for sure, that my suspicions were right, and you know that I know the truth behind your –furry little problem.†So I can promise if things haven’t changed yet, they won’t change at all.’ Lily saw tears welling up in Remus’s eyes, so she smiled at him, turned, and started walking back down the corridor.
‘Thanks,’ he said thickly when he caught up. She knew it was for both the conversation and the privacy.
‘Also,’ he hesitated, awkwardly, ‘I know I can trust you. I mean, you didn’t say anything when you first suspected things, but please don’t tell anyone that you know about me. Dumbledore didn’t want the information to spread.’
Lily spared a brief moment to think about Severus and the Marauders and responded, ‘Of course.’
Remus glanced at Lily and smiled shyly at her. She beamed back at him. ‘So, I’ll find someone else to patrol with you Monday,’ he told her.
She waved the comment off and looked at him with a glint in her eye. ‘I’ll take care of it,’ she said. ‘Give me a day, and we’ll be off the hook.’
Lily had a plan. She knew that she was one of Professor Slughorn’s favourite students, and she planned on using that to her full advantage to get Remus and her out of Monday night’s patrols. So she took her time, dawdling, at the end of Potions the next day. Her dorm mates looked at her askance; she was usually so fastidious that she was packed before her potion was submitted. Today she was slow to put her ingredients away and clean her cauldron. When the bell sounded, she still wasn’t ready to go.
Lily watched her friends collect their things and stand, waiting, at the door. ‘I’ll be right there,’ she told them. ‘I just wanted to ask Professor Slughorn something.’ Lily watched the Gryffindors and Slytherins file out of the room toward the Great Hall. Her friends reluctantly left her behind, but Mary said, ‘We’ll save you a seat,’ and Lily saw Severus give her a questioning glance. She smiled at them, made a shooing motion with her hand, and walked to the front of the room.
‘Lovely Lily,’ Professor Slughorn said happily when he turned to find her still in the room. He opened a canister of crystallized pineapples; Lily knew they were his favourite and were probably from some prior student with famous connections. He held the tin out as an offer to her one as he asked, ‘What can I do for you?’
Lily plucked a sweet from the tin and set her bag on the desk behind her. She turned to him. ‘Well, Professor,’ she started, ‘I’ve been thinking a lot about my new role as prefect.’
‘Ah, yes, a great deal of responsibility you have there, but the honour is well-deserved,’ he responded.
‘Thank you,’ she said. She was going for flattery and acquiescence, so she continued with, ‘Last year you talked about how important it was for those of us who want to be leaders to start early.’ She knew it would impress him if she repeated -- practically verbatim -- something he’d said at last year’s end-of-term Slug Club party. The better his mood the better chance she had to get what she wanted. ‘I feel that Potions is one of my best classes.’
‘Oh, it is, dear, it is! Never a better student in my class,’ he gushed. ‘But now I’m getting off topic. You were saying, dear?’ He motioned for her to continue.
‘I thought that I could start a study club for some of the younger students. I don’t know that I would have a lot of time myself, but maybe I could get other prefects involved? Or members of the Slug Club!’ She gave him the most earnest smile she could. She knew she just needed to plant the idea in his head.
‘Lily, my dear, that’s a wonderful suggestion! I do have some first and second years struggling with the basics.’ He gave her a warm smile and considered how beneficial it would be for the younger students to learn from someone like Lily.
‘Can I meet with you after dinner to discuss it?’ she asked. Professor Slughorn blanched; Lily was well aware he’d planned to head to Hogsmeade that evening. She’d heard James bragging about Madame Rosmerta down at The Three Broomsticks and how he was going to try and buy some of her newest mulled mead on the first Hogsmeade trip.
‘Er, as lovely as that sounds Lily, I simply cannot do so tonight,’ he replied.
‘Oh dear,’ Lily pouted and feigned disappointment. ‘And I’m terribly busy tomorrow evening.’ Slughorn quickly suggested Monday as an option. She stalled for a moment before telling him, ‘Well, I have prefect rounds with Remus Lupin, then Astronomy, but if you could find prefects willing to switch with me and Remus, I’m sure I could come by Monday night.’
Lily watched Slughorn consider this option. If she could make him even vaguely interested in prefects holding study sessions, she had to capitalize on that as soon as possible before the idea slipped his mind. If he wanted to pursue the idea, he’d make someone from his house swap duties with Lily and that was exactly what she was counting on. A thoughtful look crossed Slughorn’s face, then he said, ‘I’ll have some of my prefects take the rounds, shall I? And then that frees you up for a small chat with me Monday after dinner.’ Then he smiled at her again and said, ‘Now you’d best head to lunch. I’ll speak to Mr. Mulciber, er, maybe not Mr. Mulciber. How about Ms. Moran and Ms. Monette, she’s a sixth year. Yes, I’ll speak to those ladies and work it all out.’ Lily walked out smiling smugly, though she hid the smile from the professor. Now she merely needed to let Remus know about the change in plans.
In the Great Hall, Lily saw Remus sitting with James, Sirius, and Peter. The Gryffindor girls were sitting slightly further down the table than the boys. Everyone had already dug in to lunch, but Lily wanted to talk to Remus before she took her seat, so she walked over to where he was with his friends. Peter and Remus had already put helpings of roast and potatoes on their plates and were eating quietly. James was sitting next to Peter, but he’d foregone food in order to chat with a pretty Gryffindor fourth-year, Effie Richmond. Across from him, Sirius eyed Lily’s approach. She stopped behind James and Peter -- James’s conversation with Effie ended quite abruptly -- and said, ‘Remus, can I talk to you?’
Remus looked up from his plate and saw the knowing look in Lily’s eyes. ‘Um, sure. You want to go into the Entrance Hall?’ Remus made to stand when Sirius put a hand on his arm.
‘Hold on,’ Sirius said, pulling Remus back onto the bench. ‘Anything you need to say to Remus you can say in front of us, Evans. Isn’t that right?’ he asked, looking around at his friends.
‘Sirius, no, really, I’ll just-’ Remus started.
‘No, mate, I don’t trust her,’ Sirius said, staring at Lily. Peter continued eating, wanting no part in a battle between Lily and Sirius, but Lily could see James attempting to kick Sirius under the table. Remus gave her an apologetic look.
She rolled her eyes at Sirius, put her hands on her hips, and said, shrugging, ‘Fine. It’s just boring prefect business anyway.’
Remus turned to Sirius and attempted to remove his friend’s hand from his arm to no avail. ‘C’mon, mate, it’s nothing. I’m sure Lily just wants to talk about our responsibilities for, er-’
‘It’s about patrols,’ she said. She shook her head ruefully and frowned. ‘Unfortunately, I can’t make it on Monday. Professor Slughorn wants to meet with me.’
‘Isn’t this a bit short notice,’ Sirius accused. ‘Why can’t you meet with ‘ole Sluggy on some other night?’ he asked.
Lily huffed in annoyance. ‘Because Monday is what fits our schedules best,’ she told him. Turning back to Remus, she said, ‘Slughorn will get two of his prefects to switch with us. Once I have the new date, I’ll let you know.’ She smiled at him. ‘I really am sorry to inconvenience you with that, Remus, but it’s okay, right?’
He looked at her, relieved, and said, ‘It’s fine. Just let me know when we need to patrol.’
As Lily walked away, she heard Sirius snidely mutter, ‘Who does she think she is changing your plans like that?’ to which Remus murmured, ‘Let it go. Remember what Monday is anyway.’ She settled herself next to Marlene, pulled a plate forward, and started on lunch glad, this time, to be able to help a friend out before things went bad.
The Heart's Translation by noblefate
Chapter Notes: Standard disclaimer: I'm just playing with JKR's toys.