His Final Hours
Chapter 1
His feet hit the ground in front of the old rusted gate. Air filled his lungs and he looked around, as though expecting to find Death standing behind him. He walked across the dark playground skillfully, although it had been many years since he had been there last.
He walked slowly toward a bush on which flowers were just beginning to bloom. Smiling slightly, he picked a small white blossom off. The bush must have been replaced many times between now and when he had crouched here so many years ago, wanting to be seen but remain hidden. He knew it could not be the same bush that Lily had taken a flower, so very like the one Severus now held, but all the same, he felt oddly at peace as he, like Lily, caused the flower to close on its self, then reopen.
Placing the beautiful flower delicately into the pocket of his robes, he turned and saw the broken swing she had flown from, the falling tree that had provided shade for them as they grew up, and the worn down fence he used to jump to reach her here.
As he looked at the overgrown playground, so important to his past, he felt his eyes began to sting. He suddenly wished he had not come. The emptiness of his surroundings engulfed him and he sank to his knees, tears flowing shamelessly down his face.
He could not take the solitude of the deserted playground any longer. Thinking of nothing but Lily; her eyes, her smile, and the way she used to say his name as though she simply loved to sound of it; he whispered –Expecto Patronum,†and her doe erupted from his wand. She cast a warm glow on the ground around her as she pranced to the place he was kneeling. He longed for her closeness, wishing she would never leave him. She lowered her head to his level and he closed his eyes as wonderful memories flouted through the years back to him. He thought of Lily’s small, soft hand that would slip into his when she was nervous, scared, or just needed someone to hold onto. He remembered the smell of her flowing red hair when a breeze blew it into his face. He recalled how she would snuggle up next to him on cold winter days as they walked the—
–Severus?†The unexpected voice cut through the memories like a knife, causing him to jump slightly. His eyes shot open, and the doe was gone, taking all her warmth and light with her and leaving him feeling more alone than when he was the only soul in sight.
Severus felt confused and dazed by her abrupt disappearance as he looked at the dark figure that had called his name so cautiously. He became aware of how weak and foolish the scene must have appeared to the new arrival: Severus kneeling, his face wet with tears that shimmered in the light of his lost love.
The figure knelt where he stood ten feet away, now on the same level with Severus. Severus could not see the man’s face, and knew not who he was, for it was taking some time for him to regain his senses. However, by the way the new man’s shoulders hung, it was plain to see the agony that he felt.
This, at least, we have in common, Severus thought as he stared at the other man, who stared back at him without saying a word. They sat in mournful silence, neither wanting it to end, both knowing it must. The new arrival spoke first, after nearly five minutes.
–He calls.†Severus now recognized Lucius Malfoy’s voice. He understood the two uttered words as though Lucius had given a loud and detailed explanation.
–Where?†He did not want to go, did not want to keep up the lie that had consumed most of his adult life, but knew it was the only way to insure that Lily had not died in vain.
–The Shrieking Shack.â€
Silence engulfed them once more. Both men were lost in thought. Judging by the way Lucius was still kneeling with his shoulders forward, he was still thinking of what he had come thinking about. Severus, however, had no room in his thoughts for Lily at the moment. His mind was reeling with questions that needed answering. One that he felt most desperate to hear the answer to:
–How did you find me?†The question was barely a whisper, but he knew Lucius had heard him, for the latter tensed ever so slightly.
As Severus had expected, the answer was not immediate. He waited quietly, needing to know. He could not recall a time that he had ever revealed this part of his past to Lucius, or anyone for that matter. If Lucius knew, perhaps Severus had let it slip in his presence. And if he did know, might he not have told the others and even (Severus felt nauseous as he thought it) the Dark Lord himself?
–You must understand, Severus,†Lucius started in a rushed and nervous voice, –he sent me to find you! He thinks you are part of the battle still, he didn’t hear that you left. I searched Hogsmeade, Diagon Alley; I went to your house. I even checked Grimmauld Place, but to no avail. But then I though…†He cut off there. He looked around the park, then down at his hands on his knees.
–How did you find me?†Severus repeated, this time much louder. Lucius jumped at the harshness in his voice, but Severus would not let the subject go. He stared at the pitifully weak figure in front of him. –Please, I must know.†His voice was calm again, and the sudden change in tone made Lucius look up at him.
–Forgive me, please. I didn’t want to hear, but I it was so strange.†Lucius sounded as though revealing this would bring about his death. –It was right after the start of term feast for your first year. As Prefect, I was to lead all first year Slytherins to the common room. Everyone followed except you. I noticed you slip away as we left the Great Hall. I intended to follow you, to reprimand you for running off on your first day. I noticed you were waiting by the doors, as the Gryffindor first years filed past. I saw you grab the arm of…†He paused again, looking at the spot the doe had vanished so long ago.
–I thought I would have to stop you from getting into trouble at first. Slytherin boys don’t seek private conversations with Gryffindor girls. As I moved closer, however, I heard her say your name. This threw me off guard. How could these two first years, so different from each other, be on speaking terms? Then you asked something I will never forget…in a voice I will never forget.â€
Severus’ mind raced back to that very conversation. He had been worried throughout the entire feast, not knowing what was to become of his friendship that surely could not last, not after the Sorting.
He had not noticed Lucius watching him. He only had eyes for his best friend. No, he had thought, former best friend. He grabbed her as soon as he saw her red hair.
–Severus? What’s wrong?†Her smile faded as she looked at his nervous face.
–Are we still friends?â€
–What?†She had not expected that question.
–Can we still be friends? I mean, you’re in Gryffindor now.â€
–So?†She did not understand.
–Slytherin and Gryffindor are supposed to hate each other.†Severus explained.
–Oh,†said Lily in a hurt voice. –So, you came to say you don’t want to be my friend anymore?â€
Severus was horrified. –No! Of course that’s not what I’m saying!†This was not going well at all.
–Well then what are you saying?†She was still extremely confused. Had Severus not explained this a hundred times before?
–I just thought—I mean I’m a Slytherin—–
She laughed as she realized what he meant. –You think that I won’t want to be your friend?†Lily grabbed Severus hands, sending a rush of warmth up his arms. He suddenly felt like he could fly. –Listen to me Sev,†she said in a reassuring voice, coming up with the nickname on the spot. –There is nothing—nothing—that will make me not want to be friends with you. Do you know why?â€
–Because I was the one to tell you what you were?†Severus guessed.
Lily giggled. He realized right then, holding her hands, that he loved her giggle. He never wanted to go a day without hearing it. It hit him, a small little eleven year-old, that he was in love with Lily Evans.
–It’s because we aren’t friends,†she said, shocking him back into reality. She laughed again at the look on his face. –I mean we aren’t just friends. We are best friends. We have been best friends since we met in that park by your house, and we will stay best friends forever.â€
–Promise? Promise that we will always be best friends?â€
–Always.â€
She had not kept her promise...although he could not blame her for that. It had been he who had betrayed her first. He deserved to be cut off for what he had said, but what she did next caused him more pain than even he deserved.
–The look on your face as she said that one word is something I still can’t get out of my head.†Lucius said, looking at Severus as if he were a child who had scrapped his knee. –There was a glow I had never seen before. To this day I’ve only seen it a few times, and it was only ever on your face, only when you were with her.â€
Severus wiped his eyes dry once more, then got to his feet and closed the distance between the two of them. He held out his hand to Lucius, who looked at it like he was afraid to take it. After a few moments, Severus understood and returned to his knees, this time next to Lucius who, up close, looked as though he had not slept in weeks.
–Tell me what is bothering you. You know my grief, what is yours?â€
After another short pause, Lucius took a deep breath and began.
–He is still fighting. Somewhere in the castle.â€
It took a moment for Severus to think of who Lucius could possibly mean. Then he realized the only person who could cause this Death Eater to show such weakness.
–Draco?†he asked. Hearing the name seemed to be the breaking point for the father. He began to sob uncontrollably. –Can you not…†Severus began. But he was cut short by Lucius’ strangled voice.
–No. And he will not call off the battle until Potter comes to him.â€
Severus knew it was true. The Dark Lord did not give up when he wanted something and if he could use the boy’s weakness against him, he surely would.
Severus waited until his companion had gathered himself, then he rose and, once again, offered his hand. Lucius took it this time without hesitation and pulled himself to his feet. They set off through the gate together, both men knowing what they must do next. Neither noticed that, as they turned in unison and disappeared, a small white flower floated to the ground where they had been a second before.
His Final Hours by SevsGirl33
Story Notes:
The conversation between the Dark Lord and Severus, as well as the things Severus remembers Dumbledore telling him, are all from the Deathly Hallows. All dialog in these parts belong to J.K.Rowling.