Élisabeth LaBelle shuffled around her small white kitchen, smiling as she listened to Deux Sorcières dans le Matin, her favorite morning radio show. She had a busy day of cleaning and cooking ahead of her for her son was coming to dinner for his birthday and she was eager to impress him. Ever since he was young he had laughed at her for how untidy she was. To make matters worse, he had always done everything in his power to cause mischief whenever he could and cause an even greater mess. It had been hard looking after a rascal like him for so long, so she wasn’t very disappointed when it was time for him to go to Beauxbatons.
Élisabeth had been excited about this day for weeks because she had not gotten to see him since Christmas. He had been out of school for a few years now and was training as an Auror in England, so she only got to see him a few times a year. Due to his busy schedule, she received a few letters from him a month, which were usually short and contained sparse details. It was high time for a reunion.
A faint tapping at the kitchen window startled Élisabeth’s happy thoughts. –I’m not expecting any letters from anyone, what could this be?†she said to herself. She hoped it wasn’t her son cancelling the evening’s plans.
Undoing the latch on the window, she let in the grey owl. It bounced happily inside, looking with its yellow eyes around the kitchen for anything it could eat it to refresh itself. Noticing how tired it looked, Élisabeth fetched a wooden bowl from a cupboard and filled it with water. She placed it in front of the owl, which it looked at suspiciously, then greedily drank it up. She hoped that her own owl had left enough rodents in the garden outside alive for this one to eat. When the owl had drank all it wanted, it held out its right leg, on which was tied a letter on expensive-looking parchment.
Wondering what the letter could be, she sat down at the table and began to read the letter. It was short, only three lines long, but it was straightforward. We need to talk, was the main idea of the letter. It was signed by H.P. and friends. The letter was dated 30 March 2000, just a few days before, and it requested tea at her home on the eighth. When she read the postscript, her heart nearly stopped. It’s about Sirius Black.
All at once, long-suppressed memories crashed through the walls of the fortress that was her mind.
It was the night before her sixth year at Hogwarts. She had done well on her OWLs, and her grandparents were very proud of her. As a going-back-to-school present they had given her a gold necklace that had belonged to her mother. Élisabeth stared at her reflection in the mirror with pride. She pulled up her light brown hair and smiled. –You look just like your maman,†her grand-mère said, kissing her on the cheek. She hoped that her mother would be proud of the woman she was becoming. When she was still just a baby, her mother had passed away. Her father had never been in the picture; Élisabeth didn’t even know his name. The thought made her frown, but it made her work harder in life. She wanted to be able to support her future family and live a better life than her mother had.
The next morning she arrived at King’s Cross promptly, ready for another year. With plans to excel in every one of her classes, she had already begun reading her books for the year. Her Transfiguration book was particularly interesting, and as soon as she boarded the train and found an empty compartment it was on her lap and open to the third chapter. She was so engrossed in her reading she didn’t even notice when other people filled the seats around her. Their noise didn’t bother her until one of them did.
–Hello, what are you reading?†someone asked.
Annoyed, Élisabeth looked up to see who was speaking to her. Instantly she recognized Sirius Black, the resident flirt of Hogwarts, and a seventh year Gryffindor. Many of her own friends, though they were loyal Slytherins, had harbored crushes on him since they had first arrived at the school, but she had never felt any infatuation for him. He was just another distraction standing in her way to a successful life. She had never bothered with any boys; they were a waste of her valuable time. Rolling her eyes, she replied, –My Transfiguration textbook,†then went back to reading, hoping he would leave her alone.
He didn’t. As exuberant as ever he said, –Oh I love dear old Minnie, don’t you? She makes the subject really come alive, doesn’t she? Transfiguration might be my favorite class. I bet you love Potions, since Slughorn always favors you Slytherins.â€
All the while he talked on, never waiting for a reply, so Élisabeth continued reading, only half-listening. Will this boy never stop talking? she thought.
Just when she thought she couldn’t take it any longer, one of his friends made him stop. –Padfoot, leave the poor girl alone. Can’t you see she doesn’t want to be bothered?â€
The speaker was Remus Lupin, a prefect she had seen around the school before but had never spoken to. She didn’t understand how he, a good, responsible boy, could be friends with hoodlums like Sirius Black and James Potter. Pompous Gryffindors, as she and her friends called them. Still, she was thankful for his help. She put her book down a little to smile at him and said a quiet –Thank you.â€
It wasn’t until after they had all eaten lunch from the trolley and Remus had left for a prefect’s meeting that Élisabeth decided to talk to the others left in the compartment. Sirius was staring out the window at the passing greenery. Next to him sat Peter Pettigrew, who was reading his Defense Against the Dark Arts book. She didn’t know much about him other than that everyone thought he was strange. In the window Sirius must have seen her reflection looking around, for he said, –How rude of me, I suppose I didn’t formally introduce myself earlier: I’m Sirius Black.†He held out his hand to her.
Knowing full well about the pranks he and his friends regularly pulled, it was warily that accepted his hand and shook it. –Élisabeth LaBelle,†she said stiffly.
The ensuing conversations were short, but Sirius was very persistent. By the end of the train ride, he had her smiling and laughing, her mind far away from her studies. –Lighten up,†he told her as they were deboarding. –Try to have some fun this year! It’s a dark world out there, but at Hogwarts you should try to have some fun while you still can.â€
He winked, bowed, and kissed her hand before leaving. What an interesting fellow, she thought merrily.
Over the next few weeks she saw Sirius again a few times passing in the halls. Every time Sirius made a point to smile and greet her, and every time Élisabeth opened up a little bit more. Slowly but surely her heart was beginning to soften towards him, and she didn’t even realize it. She came to enjoy every second that she saw him, and sometimes even peeked over at the Gryffindor table during meals hoping to catch a glimpse of him. Having never felt anything like that for a boy before, she didn’t understand that she was falling in love with Sirius Black. Her friends would have been astounded.
Her feelings first came to light when in early November she saw him huddled in a dark corner with a blonde Ravenclaw. A pang of jealousy shot through her body and she ran away before he could see her. I can’t like Sirius, she thought to herself once safely in the Slytherin common room. He’s a Gryffindor, and one of the biggest troublemakers of the school at that. He’s a flirt and all your friends have crushes on him. You can’t love him. She felt like some silly first year. What was happening to her?
Whenever she passed him she tried ignoring him, but it just made her like him all the more. One day a month later she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. Turning around, she saw Sirius, and her face involuntarily broke into a wide smile. –Lizzy! We haven’t talked in a long time. How have you been?â€
She would have grimaced at his name for her--she had told him before to call her Élisabeth--but she was too happy to see him again. Stupid girl, stop smiling so big! she mentally reprimanded herself. Stumbling over her words a little she said, –Good, I guess. Busy studying! I have lots of work to do if I want to be a healer.†She hoped he would continue the conversation despite her nervous lack of words.
–Lighten up, buttercup. Stop taking the world so seriously,†he said as he drew her into a hug. At the physical contact her heart was nearly beating out of her chest; she hoped he couldn’t feel it.
She didn’t really know how it happened, but by winter holidays there were spending time together every day. By unspoken agreement their friendship was kept a secret. The tension between their two houses was too great, and their reputations for hating each other’s houses were at stake. It was a dangerous world, and not even their closest friends could know about their unlikely bond. Against all odds, they had become friends, and Élisabeth truly valued their time together. She didn’t want it to be ruined by other people’s thoughts and interference. She was too scared even to admit her growing feelings for him for fear that it would change their relationship for the worse.
They were walking around the school together a few nights before they left for break when the elephant in the castle was finally addressed. –You know,†Sirius started, –James and Remus have been asking where I always am. Remus is sure I have been seeing a secret girlfriend.†He looked at her and half-smiled. –What do you say we make his theories true?â€
Sitting down he continued, –I know this won’t surprise you, but I have never had an actual girlfriend or anything close to one before. Before it was always just about, well, you know.†He stopped talking for a moment, clearly trying to figure out how to say what he needed to say. –I’ve never been committed to any one person, but with you it seems different. I fancy you, Élisabeth, like I never have before. It’s more than just a physical attraction; I love your heart.â€
With happiness and love radiating from her inside out, she kissed him. All her hopes had come true, and her fears that her love wasn’t reciprocated vanished. Sirius Black had confessed his feelings for her; her life was complete.
For the next few months they saw each other in secret, making excuses to all their friends about studying or meeting with various teachers. Élisabeth hoped not too many people would notice how Sirius didn’t flirt with every female in Hogwarts anymore, but surprisingly people seemed to believe the excuse that he was actually focusing on his studies. She heard people talk about how mature he was becoming, –And about time, too,†many said. Yes, he had matured, but not necessarily in his schooling. For the first time, Sirius Black was taking relationships seriously. His heart was maturing.
When Valentine’s Day arrived, Élisabeth was unsure about what to expect. Sirius had been acting secretive recently and she was sure he was planning something. What she didn’t expect was to wake up surrounded by vases of flowers and chocolates. She was shocked, but her heart was warm. This seemed so unlike every perception of him that the school had. Sirius really loves me, doesn’t he? she thought.
The last night of the school year was the best night of her life. As a seventh year, it was Sirius’ last night at Hogwarts, while Élisabeth still had one more year to complete her education. –I want this night to be special for the both of us,†he told her. Blindfolding her he led her around the castle to a place where they would not be disturbed. When he removed her blindfold she found themselves in a room she had never seen before, beautifully decorated with lush pillows and a bed.
Turning around to look him in the eyes, she smiled and said quietly, "I had no idea a place like this existed in Hogwarts."
Wrapping her in a loving hug he said, "For you, ma chère, it does."
Picking her up he carried her to the bed and gently laid her down. He then lay down next to her and raised his hand to stroke her cheek. Élisabeth smiled and blushed at his touch. Knowing what was coming, she felt a nervous excitement. Because she had never taken an interest in boys she had never experienced love like this before, but she knew that Sirius had. In the moment, though, none of it was in her mind. Tonight was all about the love that she and Sirius shared, which she was equally sure he had never felt before. –Je t’aime, Sirius†she whispered, and she turned off her thoughts and allowed her instincts to take over.
So much changed over the following months, and she never saw him again. She couldn’t bear to. Their blossoming love had been doomed from the start. Their fates were sealed without a doubt a few years later when she read the newspaper and saw his name. Though now living again in France, the news that he had murdered his old friend, Peter Pettigrew, along with many Muggles, was big enough to be put in the newspaper. Her heart was torn and her mind was a mess, but she wiped her eyes, held her head high, and carried on through the day. She wouldn’t let anyone know how much it affected her.
And finally, she remembered the heart stopping moment when, on a day much like today, she had read his name in the newspaper. Dead. The love of her life was no longer on this earth. After years of believing him to be guilty of the most heinous murders, to find out that he had been innocent all along, yet had been wrongfully imprisoned for so long, and was now dead, was enough to make her weak. That time, she did faint.
Later, with tears in her eyes she cut out the article and placed it lovingly in a black box full of other old newspaper clippings and many unsent letters. She looked back over the aged articles through the tears streaming down her cheeks. She couldn’t believe it. At least before she was comforted by the fact that the man she had loved was alive, if not well. Now she could not even console herself with those thoughts. What has become of my life, that I should still weep for the man I have not seen for nearly twenty years? How is it that I have held him in my heart all these long years? She could not answer the questions she posed to herself; she could only let her emotions run their course and cry.
For an hour she lay dazed on the couch. Memories flowed like all the many tears she had cried over the years. She was a pitiful sight, yet there was no one to pity her. The pain in her heart she had always kept to herself. No one else had ever known that she, Élisabeth LaBelle, the soft-spoken but driven Slytherin, had been the ill-fated lover of Sirius Black. But now someone did know something. She was fearful of what the sender of the letter might know, but she hoped that whatever they had to say would bring healing to her poor heart. After years of being broken, she was in great need of healing.
Coming back to herself, she patted the owl on its head and went to grab a quill and parchment.
That sounds wonderful, I shall see you then.
Sincerely,
Élisabeth LaBelle
A Black at Heart by Miss B
Chapter Endnotes: I'm sorry about the long wait. I had horrible writer's block with this chapter. I can't make any promises about when the next will be up, because I am going to be very busy in the coming weeks.