–Scorpius?â€
For his entire life, there had always been a huge weight pressing against Albus’s chest. Al struggled and pushed against it, but slowly, he started to lose. It was suffocating him, killing him from the inside out, like a poison. I saw it happen. But almost no one else did. They should have; had they not heard themselves?
He looks just like his father.
Albus has to be one of the brightest students to ever walk these halls.
He’s amazingly talented;, I might even pit him against Dumbledore ... and win!
Straight O’s? He’s smarter than Hermione.
He’s just like his father.
He looks just like his father.
For the longest time, that was what killed Albus: being compared to his father, because as much as he shrugged it off, it always bothered him. Al hated when people told him he was just like his dad, because The odd thing was, Albus was nothing like his father. But no one knew that, until they were forced to see it. They didn’t want to;, they didn’t want to know what Albus was really thinking or feeling. All they cared about is what they wanted him to be, not how he was. It was a bit of a shock to them when Albus quit his work at the Ministry and disappeared. But that was almost three years ago.
How did they not see it coming? Everything was building up, burying him, even in school. The only other person who noticed was Lily, but no one listened to quiet, sweet Lily. They just dismissed it; apparently, she was worrying too much. Merlin, you should have heard her when she found out. It was the only time I ever heard her really raise her voice.
Even now, she hadn’t given up. She was still looking for him, balancing her search with teaching nursery and her life with Louis. Albus and I had known about them for a while before they announced their relationship, but it came as a shock to the rest of his family. Dominique knew, too, so the three of us sat there and watched everyone else squirm. Lily and Louis didn’t care, though, and they’re still together, almost four years later.
Before they told their family, however, Lily was terrified. She came to Al and my flat, though he wasn’t there. After a whole bunch of dodging questions and brewing two pots of tea, I managed to work it out, but I saw nothing wrong. You couldn’t help who you fell for; I knew that from experience. Sadly, Lily uncovered what I was hiding, through my advice, and we exchanged secrets. That was our business now, secrets and tea, though mostly about Al. We needed to find him, but it had been looking more and more grim as months, years, slipped by. He hadn’t touched his Gringotts’ account since he left, and he never went back to our flat for the things he left.
It was this business that brought me to Lily’s door this November night. I had lied to her;, for months, I had pretended to be just as clueless as she was. But I had found Albus, though I screwed it up. And I didn’t know how to fix it. There was no one else to go to. I needed to tell her what happened. She could fix it. It was Lily, lovely Lily. She could do anything.
So I knocked, and Louis opened the door, yawning. I got through the normal questions to be expected at this time, and eventually, Lily and I were in her tiny living room, both clutching mugs of tea.
–What is it? Did you find him?†Lily asked immediately, and I couldn’t meet her eyes. I set my mug down with careful deliberation, trying to think of a way out. I couldn’t. It didn’t matter if I could have thought of the best excuse in the world; I couldn’t look Lily in the eyes without feeling so … heavy. It was crushing me, lying to her. The only way I could fix it was to tell her. Then, maybe, I could fix things with Al. It was my only hope, my last chance. So I took a deep breath. That’s what I needed to do: breathe. It would be fine. But it wasn’t. Everything was wrong.
–Lily, there’s something I need to tell you,†I began quietly, looking her in the eyes. She looked worried, terrified, and excited all at the same time. –Shit. I don’t know if I can do this.†I felt something wet slide down my cheek, and I lowered my head. –Shit, shit, shit, shit, shit. What did I do?â€
–What happened?†Lily asked immediately, and I just stared at the wooden table between us.
–Lily … I found him. I found Al,†I replied, and Lily looked confused. Another tear.
–That’s good! Where is he?†she asked, smiling, but I just shook my head. Three more tears joined the first two.
–No. You don’t understand. I found Albus … six months ago,†I replied, my voice hollow. As more and more slipped down my face, I saw Lily’s smile fade.
–What?†she asked, her voice almost a whisper. –Why didn’t you tell me? What happened? Where is he? Is he okay?â€
–He’s fine,†I replied, my voice hollow, before I sighed, trying to piece myself together. –I should start from the beginning.†And then I took another deep breath, and I realized that I already felt a lot less heavy. Was this how Al felt when he left?
It had been a bad day, to say the least. Mum was getting worse, and Dad wasn’t getting any better. He refused to visit her, so I had to keep on making excuses. She didn’t believe them anymore. But that wasn’t the worst part. The Healer … he had told me that she had half a year at the most. I couldn’t bring myself to tell her, but it was crushing me every time I looked at her, knowing. To put it simply, I needed a drink.
So I walked to the nearest bar, and just sat down. I think the barman tried to talk to me, but I honestly didn’t remember anything besides walking in. Until he came. Broader, more tanned, and even more unkempt hair, but it was him. And he walked right up to the bar, sat down a few seats away, and starting talking to the barman. Apparently ‘Mrs. Birhampton wanted everything pruned again, and she wasn’t happy with where her one-hundred willow tree was.’ And the barman just chuckled, asked him if it was a rough day, before handing him a drink without even asking what he wanted. Al never drank; he just didn’t see the point in it. He never talked to people he didn’t know, either. It couldn’t be him.
But it was the man’s (Albus’s?) bright green eyes, paired with the unruly black hair black, that made me sure it was him. I didn’t say anything, though; I just listened to his lighthearted banter. He looked happier than I’d seen him in a long time, though he still stirred his drink moodily, taking sips occasionally.
‘Do you know that lad over there? Because he seems to be staring,’ I had heard the barman say, and Al’s head snapped to me. His face immediately turned from one of slight amusement to one of downright surprise. Now that his eyes were looking at me, I saw how much brighter they were than before. So much … lighter. Not heavy, like they had been so long. Not like mine every time I visited my mum. Not like Lily’s whenever she talked about Albus. They looked, dare I say it, happy?
‘Scorpius?’ he asked said incredulously. My breath caught in my chest.
‘Albus?’ I replied. It really was him. I still couldn’t breathe.
And that’s where it all started.