‘Scorpius?’ he asked incredulously. My breath caught in my chest.
‘Albus?’ I asked back. It really was him. I still couldn’t breathe.
–Well … this is unexpected,†Al said simply, while the barman just looked confused. –I really didn’t expect to see you here, Scorpius. Oh yeah, and this is … Jack. Jack, this is Scorpius. We were mates at school.†Were?
–Pleased to meet you, Scorpius,†Jack said warmly, extending his hand.
–Likewise,†I replied, accepting the gesture. Albus relaxed visibly, causing both Jack and I to laugh.
–What are you doing here, Scorpius?†Albus asked after a while, and I felt the smile slide off my face. He didn’t know about my mum.
–Just needed a drink,†I replied, but Al’s face told me he wasn’t convinced. –Rough day.â€
–Still working for the Department of Magical Creatures?†Al asked, chuckling slightly. I looked at Jack; surely this was a Muggle bar. Apparently not.
–Yep. What are you doing?†I replied, trying to sound casual, but it was a question that had been bothering me the entire time.
–Er … I’m working for Enchanted Lawns,†Albus admitted, looking down at his drink. Enchanted Lawns was a landscaping business. My mum used that company … had she known where he was the entire time?
–Wow. That’s, er, great, Al,†I said, but I was wondering why on earth Al had chosen to work there of all places. Albus was brilliant, a genius, in fact; he had worked for the Department of Mysteries, on something even Hermione Weasley couldn’t figure out. So why was he a landscaper?
–Shut it, Scorpius. I know what you’re thinking,†Al replied sullenly. That was more like the Al I had come to know.
–I have to get back to work, Al. See you later.†Al just nodded, still staring moodily at his glass.
–Lily and Louis still going strong?†Al asked, and I remembered Lily. Should I tell her?
–Yeah. She got the job at the Muggle primary school. Teaches nursery,†I told him, smiling, before looking down at my drink awkwardly. I knew I should go straight from here to tell Lily her brother was still alive, but what could I say? I could just imagine myself telling her: I talked to Albus in a bar. Don’t know if he’ll be back, and don’t know where he lives, but he’s alive.
I couldn’t. But I couldn’t lie to her, either.
–Listen, Al,†I said, deciding to bite the bullet and just say it. –Why did you just disappear? Lily’s worried sick; she’s still searching for you.†Albus just sighed before downing his drink.
–I wondered when you were going to ask that,†Albus said. –Look, I meant to tell you. It was just too much … the Ministry, the family, everything. It’s not what I wanted to do, and it was killing me. I hated it. I knew if I told my parents, they wouldn’t let me, they would try to convince me that it was what I wanted. But it wasn’t; it never was. It was hell.†I already knew most of that. I could always tell, especially in school. He would spend hours and hours in the library, skipping meals, studying his eyes out. But even if he got one thing marked off, he considered the essay or exam a failure.
That was when Lily and I first started helping Al. We would take turns trying to get Al out of the library, while the other nicked food from the kitchens.
–You didn’t have to completely disappear, though,†I replied, and I found that my voice sounded hoarse. No. I couldn’t do this again.
–I know. Listen, Scorpius, please don’t tell Lily about … this. I’m not ready to go back,†Al said, standing up.
–Am I going to see you again? Or do I have to wait another two years?†I asked angrily. Albus just laughed, a still, quiet, and yet beautiful laugh that I hadn’t heard in almost four years. It spread to his eyes, illuminating the emerald-green irises.
–Meet here again tomorrow?†he replied, before smiling at me. The smile that would change everything. It emanated pure beauty.
In the next two months, Albus and I met at the bar at least three times a week. I could tell he still wasn’t in great place, because that sole smile had been one of the only smiles I’d seen. Sure, he joked around more, especially with Jack, but the smiles never reached his eyes.
So I tried to be happy, to just give off rainbows and fairies. It was so hard most of the time, though, because I always came after visiting Mum. She was getting so much worse, but Al didn’t know about her. And I couldn’t tell him.
We sat and got drunk, joking about the Ministry or his psychotic family. Once in a while, he’d ask how his siblings or his parents were, and I’d update him. Merlin, Lily.
It had been proving agonizing to lie to her. She was just so … innocent, even when she’d open the door wearing nothing but one of Louis’s shirts, and God, she would talk so animatedly about Albus. I almost told her at least five times, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t betray Albus, not when I had just found him again. We had an easy routine once more, and our silences were content instead of awkward.
But I couldn’t help the feeling creeping up in my chest.
–Hey, Scorpius, I just realized … I never asked you how your family was,†Al said suddenly one night, and my heart plummeted. I just stared at my drink, debating whether or not to say anything. –Shit, something’s wrong, isn’t it?†Al asked, his eyes widening, and I could practically hear the gears in his head whirring trying to work out what was wrong.
–Yeah.†I sighed, stirring my drink. –Er … things aren’t too great right now.â€
–What’s going on?†Albus asked, his voice soft and concerned.
–It’s nothing,†I dismissed. I am a Hufflepuff; of course I didn't say anything. –Just a bit of a rough patch, that’s all.â€
–I may not have been a Ravenclaw, but I know when you’re lying, Scorpius,†Al replied, and I laughed.
–You should have been in Ravenclaw, not Slytherin - you were smarter than all of them, nitwit,†I trailed off, still laughing at Al’s dismissive modesty.
–Shut it, Hufflepuff,†Al retorted, smiling that same beautiful smile, before it slid off his face like Stinksap. –Your family?†he prompted.
–Al,†I started, a little bit of plea sneaking into my voice. His gaze was unwavering, though, and I knew he wasn’t going to let the matter go. –Fine. My mum is in St. Mungo’s, and she’s dying. My dad refuses to see her and locks himself in his study for days at a time. And all she wants is for him to visit her. I don’t know why he just won’t; she needs him.†Albus sighed.
–Scorpius,†he started, as I stared at my drink. –I’m sorry, mate.â€
–You’re not the only one with issues,†I told him moodily but still unable to look him in the eyes.
–I know. You just sounded so … happy,†Al admitted, and I laughed bitterly. If he only knew the half of it. Being with him was killing me. Not telling Lily was pure torture.
–Well, everyone has their problems,†I conceded, and Al relaxed. –We’re just a little more secretive about it, that’s all.†Albus chuckled.
–Sometimes, I wonder if you should have been a Ravenclaw,†he said matter-of-factly, before running his hand through his hair. Al winced, but I knew it was because he had a long day. The dirt that covered him was evidence enough.
–Rough day?†I asked politely, raising an eyebrow. Al just nodded, and I noticed the dark circles under his eyes.
–Turns out James and Aria decided to start using Enchanted today. And she wants to completely redo their lawn. Which involves uprooting and replanting at least twenty huge trees. Thank Merlin for some useful spells,†Al explained. –And it took all I could not to be noticed. She was always out there; talking, giving water or something.†I just nodded; James and Aria Potter were rich. But I guess that was expected from a Quidditch player and a Witch Weekly model. I liked Aria well enough; she was rather … unique. She told you what she thought, which I suppose was good for James to hear. During school, Aria had knocked James down quite a few pegs. But I was still always envious of them. After the war, my family lost everything, so things had always been tight. And with my mum in Mungo’s … well, at least I had a job at the Ministry.
–Did she recognize you?†I asked, just to be sure. Al shook his head.
–Thank Merlin, no. Plus, everyone at work thinks my name is Logan Mallory. If James hadn’t been at practice, though, he would have definitely recognized me,†Albus admitted.
–Damn, that must have been close,†I said, and Al just nodded, before putting his head in his hands.
–I didn’t know they had a kid,†he told me, not looking up. –Does she even know she has an uncle?â€
I thought back to the time Lily had appeared at my flat crying because the kid had asked who Al was in a photograph at Lily’s flat.
–Yes,†I answered hoarsely, knowing what Al was feeling. In all honesty, this was probably the most emotion I’d seen out of him. Ever. He just wasn’t that type of person; he was always about the facts.
–I didn’t know. My own brother, however much of an arse he may be, had a child, and I’m hiding in a pub because I cracked under a little bit of pressure. I have to go home,†he decided, but I knew that plan wouldn’t go well. Albus did, too; he just couldn’t see it right now. How ironic was that? Albus, who knew exactly what everyone else was thinking and what it would result to because of their patterns of behavior, couldn’t see his own idea was horrible.
–Al, it was more than a little pressure, first off. And you’re not ready. You may think it’s a good idea right now, but could you really go back … and go back to your old life? Trust me, it’s not the right time,†I reasoned, and Al sighed. Just then, Jack appeared next to Albus.
–What’s wrong, Al?†he asked, looking worried. –If you don’t want me to …†but Jack trailed off, looking at me meaningfully.
–No,†Al replied, smiling at Jack. It was horribly fake, though. –Just give me a minute.†looked questioningly at Al, who just sighed. –This was inevitably going to happen. Scorpius, Jack is my boyfriend.†In that second, my heart plummeted through my chest into my stomach.
–I- I might as well go.†I excused myself quickly, before walking out of the pub. Albus called after me, but I just kept walking, feeling it finding its way into my throat again, choking me. It was happening again.
After I Apparated back to my flat, I sat on the couch, my breathing ragged. The pain in my chest was horrible and crushing. I couldn’t believe I let it happen again. I swore I wouldn’t, but no matter how much I denied it, it did. I had told myself I would never feel this way again. But seeing him as he grabbed Jack the bloody barman’s hand had done it. I couldn’t deny it anymore.
I was falling for Albus Potter.