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Butterbeer Bottles by xxbabewithbrainsxx

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Story Notes:

This is just a bit of (dialogue-only) banter between my two favourite boys. :) I am dedicating this to Carole/Equinox Chick, whose writing is so, so fab that I can't even put it into words. Thank you for being such a wonderful friend ♥ and I hope you don't mind the silliness of this, lol.

Chapter Notes: Thank you to Sophie/the owl for betaing :)
–What are you doing, Sirius? You’re juggling. And you call me clumsy.”

–You still are, dear cousin. This doesn’t change things. Besides, I can juggle for... for England. All of Britain, in fact.”

–You’re very drunk.”

–Nothing new.”

–And here I was, thinking I was strange... oops!”

–You had to break my concentration there. Thanks, Tonks. Really.”

–Sorry.”

–Hey, I wasn’t serious. They’re only Butterbeer bottles. Takes about a second to Vanish them. See? There you go. Anyway, something wrong?”

–No, nothing’s wrong... Remus around, by any chance?”

–Nope. Why?”

–No reason.”

–Do you--”

–Um, I think I’d better get going, actually.”

–Wait, Nymphadora--”

–Thanks for asking me over. I’d better dash. See you next week, yeah?”



–Thank God that’s over. Don’t you think Snape was being a bloody pain in the arse today, Moony?”

–Yes. Not to mention the way he was talking to Tonks. I would have said something had Albus not been there.”

–Speaking of Tonks, there’s something I wanted to talk to you about. It looks like you may have an admirer.”

–What are you talking about, Sirius?”

–Tonks, of course.”

–What about her?”

–What do you mean, ‘what about her’? That’s my cousin you’re talking about there, Remus. Tread carefully.”

–I didn’t mean it like that. Tonks is a... very... intelligent witch. I didn’t meant to--”

–I’m joking, for Merlin’s sake. You didn’t think I was being serious, did you?”

–You’ve always been Sirius.”

–That was bloody terrible, Moony. If you want to take the piss out of my name, at least make a good joke out of it. Anyway, forget that. Tonks fancies you.”

–Don’t be daft.”

–I’m not. She really does.”

–Prove it.”

–All right. The way she looks at you, for starters. The way she talks about you, her body language, the way she’s always sitting next to you and you both always get up together at meetings--”

–But she hasn’t actually said anything to you, has she?”

–’Course not. She doesn’t have to.”

–You still don’t really know if she--”

–She does, Moony. Any idiot can see that. Tonks is such an open book. You should know -- you’re the one who loves reading. Besides, she got all flustered the other day when I mentioned you, and she didn’t even hit me when I called her ‘Nymphadora’, either. You know how much she hates that. Did you really not pick up on any of it?”

–No, I didn’t.”

–Do you... fancy her?”

–I’m not going to dignify that with an answer when you’re clearly--”

–You do!”

–Even if I did, it’s so...”

–...wonderful! Isn’t it? You’re in love, Remus!”

–I never said that! I didn’t even say that I fancied her, not that I would use such a word.”

–But you could be! Think about it. You two could be good together.”

–It bloody well isn’t wonderful, and there’s no way we could ever be good for each other!”

–Why not?”

–You know why.”

–My cousin not good-looking enough for you? Oi!”

–Yeah, that’s it, isn’t it? I’m really--”

–No need to chuck things at me, Remus.”

–--I’m really that shallow, Sirius, because everything’s just a big joke to you! But then it would be -- you’re not the one turning into a beast once a month!”

–Really? Is that the best you can come up with? If you didn’t use that excuse every time someone fancied you, you could’ve been married with three kids now.”

–Three werewolf children, maybe. Three baby monsters--”

–Oh, for God’s sake, stop. You like her and she likes you -- what’s the problem? You’re being plain stupid now.”

–I’m being realistic, Sirius. Tonks would be good for me, yes, but I wouldn’t be any good for her.”

–She likes you. Take the chance, Moony. ‘S not one you get every day.”

–I’m not listening to this. Besides, you’re drinking. Again.”

–Doesn’t mean what I’m saying isn’t true.”

–Well, I’m twelve years older than her.”

–Who cares? Age, my dear Remus, is only a number. So... you going to, you know, ask her--”

–Wait a second, Padfoot. I think I just heard... there’s someone there.”

–You’re not off the hook, Moony!”

–Oh, hello, Tonks...”

–Wotcher, Remus. I, erm, forgot my cloak. And it’s bloody cold out there as it is -- it doesn’t feel like March right now. You all right, Sirius?”

–I’m fine.”

–Would you like to stay for a drink, Tonks?”

–Oh, no, Remus, I couldn’t. I have tons to do as it is. ”

–In that case, I’ll see you to the door.”

–That’s very, um, charming of you, Remus--”

–Sirius!”

–Sorry, Moony.”

–Actually, Remus, I’ll see myself out.”

–All right.”

–See you, Sirius. Bye, Remus.”

–Bye, Tonks.”

–Take care.”

...

–Anyway, Remus--”

–Wait!”

–I heard the door close, Moony. It’s okay. She won’t hear you.”

–Good.”

–I haven’t seen you this hot and bothered since Marlene, you know. Reminds me of our schooldays.”

–Padfoot, I’m not going to take relationship advice from you, of all people. Stop interfering.”

–What’s wrong with my relationship advice?”

–You’re drunk and you’re juggling Butterbeer bottles, for God’s sake.”

–It passes time. What else do you expect me to do, when I’m stuck in this -- hold on. This is meant to be about you, not me. I still think you should tell her how you feel.”

–I don’t feel anything for her.”

–Yes you do.”

–Even if I did -- and I’m not saying that’s true -- I’m not right for her. I don’t deserve her. And I think we should leave it at that.”

–But--”

–No. Go back to your juggling.”

–Fine.”

–You’re not very good at it, are you?”

–Doesn’t matter. I have forever to practise.”

Chapter Endnotes: I would love it if you left me a review! :)

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