Anurag Krishnan took in a deep breath and let it out slowly. He squinted at a distant window as he walked in through the giant doors to the orientation hall at Ambani Healing College, Mumbai. He was eighteen and very aware of his tall, magnetic looks. His skin was the colour of rich milk chocolate, and below his thick eyebrows were glaring eyes which gave him the look of an angry, brooding young man.
Yes, many people thought he was quite attractive and he liked being thought of as such. He had a goal to achieve in college. He wanted to be in a serious relationship by the time he was a Healer. He quite liked the idea of companionship, and he was sure he’d like a constant person in his life. His looks would definitely help him achieve this. But that aside, he couldn’t believe he was going to be a Healer. After giving his mother all that grief which led to revealing to him a rather disturbing incident from his past,, he had been highly inspired by her and decided to become a Healer like her.
He had spent a good number of days in being angry at his parents, about a couple of months ago, because they didn’t send him to Hogwarts for schooling. He found out that Hogwarts was a family tradition, and got very angry with his parents for educating him at an Indian magic school instead. One fine day, however, his mother got tired of his behaviour and brought back a memory of his which she’d had to wipe away long ago. It turned out she had promised to always be there for him for as long as she could, and Anurag realised that she had just been keeping her promise. He respected her much more now and couldn’t believe how horrible he had been.
But, he thought, he wasn’t just doing this because of his mother. Healing sounded really interesting. It was service to the society, and he’d be able to earn well. He was happy he was at Healer school. This had to be the right place for him.
–Come on, kanna,†said his mother, Sulekha, as they found seats in the huge lecture hall. He sat between his parents, pulled out his wand, and started to fiddle around with it as he hummed tunes from his favourite music. The hall started filling up, and Anurag looked around at his new classmates, trying to find someone whom he could possibly befriend. He had been scanning faces for five minutes when the seats in front of him and his parents filled up. It was a family of four: parents and two daughters. The younger girl was about thirteen, so Anurag guessed the elder sister was his classmate. She was a tall, willowy girl with long hair and glasses, but Anurag couldn’t observe anything else about her as she had her back turned to him while she sat on the chair right in front of him.
Anurag smiled. Of course, there’d be pretty girls here. And he’d make sure he didn’t walk out of Ambani College single. This was a promise to himself.
***
The orientation took a long time to finish Anurag was quite bored in the end. After that, all the parents and students were asked to proceed for lodging facilities and he walked to the hostels with his parents, his heart sinking a little at the prospect of having to leave home. He was worried, most of all, for his mother, for he knew she’d be really sad to let him go.
They were standing in line for registering his name for a room when he saw her again. It was the same girl who had been sitting in front of him at the orientation. Her back was facing him again, and he just wished she would turn around. Her name was Muskaan Deshmukh, he knew, from what she had written on the attendance sheet that had been passed around. It wasn’t that he was particularly interested in her-- she just seemed like she was very different. But of course, he had just seen her from the back.
She was called into the college rector’s office and she and her family entered the small room, leaving Anurag standing outside and pondering about her. Well, at least he’d see her when she’d come out…
–Anurag,†his father’s voice said and Anurag broke out of his reverie.
–Yes, Appa?â€
–Will you just come with me to the bank? There’s something I forgot…â€
–Okay.â€
When Anurag and his father came back from the bank, Muskaan was gone again.
***
–This pillow is softer than that one.â€
–They’ll provide us with pillows, Amma.†Anurag stood next to his mother with his hands on his hips as she sifted through a huge pile of pillows at the supermarket. –We don’t need to even buy this!â€
–Anurag, what if you need it?â€
–I’m perfectly capable of choosing my own pillow.â€
–No, you’re not!â€
–I am, Amma. I’m not a small boy anymore.â€
Sulekha looked at Anurag and broke into tears, causing him to go red. He hugged her reluctantly, slightly embarrassed, and his father, Krishnan, saw them from where he was standing and came over. –Oh, Sulekha,†said Krishnan, putting an arm around her as he and Anurag led her outside to their car. –Come on, let’s go to the hotel.â€
Anurag was relieved to be out of public sight, but as soon as they reached the hotel room, Sulekha was sobbing again. She came over and hugged him. –Tui jaish na, Anurag… amar shathe thak!â€
–Ami jacchi na, Amma,†he said, hugging her tighter this time. –I’m right with you.â€
***
Anurag’s parents had to leave early as they were still setting up their home in Kolkata. They had stayed in Mumbai until Anurag got his college admission, and then they had decided to relocate to Kolkata, where they had both spent large parts of their lives. He was depressed for an hour after they left and had smoked a cigarette in the hostel terrace, swallowing lumps in his throat and trying to think of the exciting few years that lay ahead. Soon, all his classmates had turned up, and after everyone got settled, they all decided to go out for dinner.
They had food at a small restaurant, and Anurag hated the taste of it. He missed his mother’s cooking already and wondered how she was doing. After dinner, all the boys walked back to the hostel together as they discussed all the courses, the teachers, and the girls in their class.
–Dude,†said a boy called Harish. –There’s this hot chick in our class. Anyone seen her?â€
–Who?†asked Amit, another classmate.
–Her name is Rashmi. She was sitting right in front of me at the orientation!â€
They discussed Rashmi for a while and entered the hostel complex. The girls’ hostel was right opposite the boys’ hostel, and as they passed it, Anurag noticed Muskaan again. She was standing at the gate, hugging her parents and her younger sister. She seemed to be wiping away tears. And once again like all the other times, her back was facing him.
Anurag frowned to himself and wondered why he was interested in Muskaan. If she were very pretty, she would have been noticed by someone else. She definitely wasn’t worth considering. That would be a foolish thing to do.
***
Anurag was right. Muskaan was not at all pretty. She was one of the most average-looking girls he had seen. She was quite brainy though. She kept up with all the classes. On the day that they were finally allowed to dissect the cadavers (first three days were to just sit in the dissection hall and get used to the smell), Anurag saw Muskaan at the dissection table next to his, volunteering to try first and taking the scalpel in her hand. He watched her for a while and only broke out of his reverie when a tablemate called out to him.
–Anurag!†It was Shilpa, a girl who wouldn’t ever stop staring at him. –Would you like to try?â€
He took his scalpel and forceps and stood up from his stool, looking at the chalk lines made on the chest of cadaver. Hesitating a little, he pressed the scalpel into the skin, tracing it over the chalk lines. Then as the teacher had taught them, he pulled up the skin with his forceps and started to cut.
As he cut, he looked over at the other table to see Muskaan hand over the scalpel to her tablemate.
–Anurag! You just cut the muscle!â€
He jumped as he saw what he had done and sighed to himself. What the hell was wrong with him?
***
Muskaan topped the mid-term exams that January. Anurag, who had never really spoken to her until then, came second and hated himself for it. How could he lose to a girl? What was wrong with him? He should have worked harder! But to be fair to himself, he had studied day and night for the exams. His friend, Ananya, who lived in the girls’ hostel, told him that Muskaan barely studied. She mostly put in all her effort one night before the exams. Even after studying like hell, Anurag wasn’t as good as her. This was not fair!
That was the day that jealousy took over Anurag’s curiosity for Muskaan.
In the next few months, he had stopped thinking so much about Muskaan. She wasn’t even good looking, and they had barely spoken once, or maybe twice, so he didn’t see the point of thinking about her so much. The new target for all the boys in the class was Rashmi Sethi, the pretty girl. Everyone wanted to try and woo her-- especially since she had broken up with her boyfriend in January. She was single and available and pretty much intelligent too, and Anurag started to get interested in her.
Muskaan, in the meantime, seemed to come up and talk to Anurag a lot, and he was good with her, but he maintained his distance. He was interested in Rashmi, and he didn’t want to give out the wrong signals to Muskaan. She really seemed interested in being friends with him but he wasn’t. However, he wasn’t the kind who hurt people, so he decided to be nice to her.
In the final exams, Muskaan came at the top of the university.
Anurag stopped talking to her completely.
***
First year was gone like a breeze and second year started with much enthusiasm amongst everyone. Anurag came back to college with a new determination to woo Rashmi Sethi. He’d somehow attract her and make sure he had her. He had decided that this year, he wouldn’t be stupid. He’d make a good plan so that Rashmi would end up as his girlfriend. She was the prettiest girl in the college, and it would be great to have her as his girlfriend. When he reached the hostel, the first piece of news he heard was that Rashmi and Muskaan were now roommates.
That day when Muskaan passed by, Anurag took a deep breath. –Hi, Muskaan.â€
She turned around, an eyebrow raised and walked away after giving him an exasperated expression.
He bit his lip. She was obviously mad at him for ignoring her for what she thought was no reason at all. Actually, as Anurag thought of it, it was no reason. Hell, what could he do now? He needed to get Muskaan to talk to him to get to Rashmi!
The days passed, and second year was easier and better than first year. Anurag had found his friends, and he knew exactly what he wanted. Plus, he was now used to the entire routine, and it stopped being hard to adjust. He knew his way around.
One day, they were sitting at a medicinal potions lecture when a few people came to announce a blood donation camp that was going on in the hospital. –As you are all the youngsters of this society, we would like you to volunteer to donate your blood. We often get patients who are incapable, or not in a state of taking Blood Replenishing Potion, and as a result, risk dying of haemorrhage. However, if you decide to take this step and contribute just a little bit to our objective, we would be very grateful to you. You could save a lot of lives, even before you are provided with the skills to do so.â€
Anurag was sitting next to Harish when the announcement happened. Harish grinned at him. –Let’s go.â€
–Really? Blood donation?â€
–Yeah, man, we get to bunk the lecture! Come on!â€
–Who would like to volunteer?†asked the announcer.
Anurag raised his hands along with Harish’s and was surprised to see quite a few other hands go up, along with Muskaan and Rashmi’s hands. As they were taken to the ward for blood collection, Harish winked at Anurag. –Rashmi Sethi is coming too. Think we have a chance?â€
Anurag shrugged. He had another plan in mind: first Muskaan, then Rashmi.
***
The blood collection ward was not very far away from the lecture hall. Everyone was handed biscuits with tea, and Anurag sat beside Harish, sipping his tea and watching Rashmi and Muskaan. The two girls finished eating rather soon and entered the ward. Since only two people could be taken in at one time, Anurag and Harish waited outside for the girls to come out first. In a while, Muskaan and Rashmi emerged together and suddenly, Muskaan stumbled, lightheaded from the blood loss. Anurag leapt forward and grasped her arm.
She got her footing back at looked up at him. And he realised he had never noticed a particular feature in her before. She had green eyes.
–Thanks,†she said, before straightening herself and making her way to the couch, so she could sit.
–No problem,†said Anurag, proceeding to the ward, still shocked at the colour of her eyes. He didn’t like the colour at all. Sure, it looked lovely on Caucasians, but it didn’t suit Indians. After the blood collection, he and Harish got out again to see Muskaan and Rashmi still on the couch.
–How was it?†Rashmi asked them.
–Fantastic,†said Harish exasperatedly.
–We should go get some good food before the next lecture starts,†said Anurag, realising that he felt a little weak.
–Oh, yeah, we’re going to the canteen,†added Harish. –Do you want to join us?â€
–Um…†Muskaan began, but Rashmi spoke for her.
–Sure!â€
They headed to the canteen and bonded over hot, delicious samosas and more tea. Anurag realised that Rashmi was an interesting person. She was into art, and she liked reading. She was an intelligent, attractive girl. She was perfect. He definitely wanted her for his girlfriend.
***
–Rashmi Sethi is hot,†remarked a very drunk Harish that evening as he and Anurag sat in their shared dormitory with bottles of Firewhiskey. –I’ll woo her by the end of this semester.â€
–Ah, no, I’ll do it,†said Anurag.
–Wanna bet?†said Harish, chuckling. –No hard feelings for the winner, okay?â€
–Okay,†agreed Anurag. –Why not?â€
***
Anurag and Muskaan spoke a lot from that time on. He made sure he got to know her and that he sounded interested in her. She was actually quite interesting too; she had a lot of hobbies, and she was a very fun-loving, smart girl. He realised he had disliked her all this time because he was jealous of her. But then, he knew that already.
Time passed and he got closer and closer to Rashmi. While he spoke to Muskaan in the evenings, he and Rashmi flirted at night through secret Patronus messages. He could sense that Rashmi liked him. She was definitely hinting at being attracted to him. He was winning the bet and though he knew he ought to be elated, he wasn’t. There seemed to be something that was missing. After nights of flirtatious messages and a lot of hints, Anurag finally decided to ask Rashmi out. Like decided earlier on, there were no hard feelings between Anurag and Harish when the former told the latter about his plans to ask Rashmi out. His friend was happy for him and they celebrated the to-be union of Anurag and Rashmi with Firewhiskey.
The day that Anurag had chosen to ask Rashmi out, he called her to a small corner near the college. After the lecture, he waited there nervously, hoping she wouldn’t reject him. Just as he was looking for her, he spotted Muskaan walking by. Her eyes sparkled when she saw him and she smiled before walking away in the other direction. Two minutes after that, Rashmi was there and she too smiled at him as she headed towards him.
Gosh, Rashmi was so pretty. She was so nice, bold and intelligent. She was funny. She spoke well and was good at a lot of things. She seemed perfect. A little too perfect.
Muskaan was full of faults. She was lazy, she didn’t take his crap, and she reprimanded him a lot. She was way too smart for him, and she wasn’t pretty at all.
But… why was he happier to see Muskaan?
The answer hit him like a bolt of lightning. He took a deep breath as Rashmi approached him. She smiled widely at him as he asked her just one question. –Where’s Muskaan gone?â€
–What?â€
–Muskaan?â€
–Oh… she’s at the reception.â€
–Thanks!â€
He had taken off before Rashmi could say anything else, and was at the reception in a minute. He saw Muskaan in the lobby, sitting on one of the couches and poring over a novel. Suddenly, he couldn’t wait. –Muskaan!†he called out, causing a lot of stern heads at the reception to turn around and look at him. –Sorry!†he said, going red and putting his hands in his pocket as Muskaan frowned at him and got up from the couch.
–What happened, Anurag?†she asked in a low voice, when she had reached him.
He hesitated. –Will-Will you go out with me?â€
Her eyes widened as he felt his heart beat crazily. –What?†she asked looking surprised and amused.
Oh Merlin, couldn’t he have waited? Why was he doing it like this, in such a hurry? What was wrong with him? Would she say yes? What if he got badly rejected? Would she yell at him or something? What if she was interested in someone else?
He cleared his throat. –I… like you, Muskaan. Will you go out with me?â€
Muskaan was still looking at him funny and then suddenly, she broke into giggles as she gave him the best answer ever. –Why so s-suddenly? Anurag!†She started to laugh hard, causing even more heads in the reception to turn around and look at her. –I mean…†she continued, –I… Yes! I will go out with you! But… we need to talk about this. Let me get my bag.â€
He grinned at her sheepishly and looked at his shoes as she went and collected her stuff and came back to him. They walked out of the reception together, Anurag resisting an urge to put an arm around her as they decided to take a round around the campus and talk. And while they spoke for what seemed like an eternity, Anurag Krishnan understood the valueless quality of beauty. It had no value. Sure, it was important, but not as much as so many other things, like personality and intelligence. It was not everything. There were better things in life. And he was just about to have them, along with what he hoped would be a good relationship with Muskaan.