Never Let Go by majestic_ginny
Chapter Notes:
Squee! I can't believe that this story has been nominated for best Next-Gen story this QuickSilver Quills! Thank you thank you thank you! It's really an honour :D.
And yay, midterms are finally over! They went pretty good, though. I'm sorry for the wait, guys. First I had exams, and then my muse gave up on me for a while, and then I went on a Doctor Who craze. I've got a two-week holiday now, so I'll be getting as much writing done as I can.
Not JKR!
When work was over that, night, Teddy decided to go over to the Potter household to meet James. He wanted to apologise for a number of things -- mainly for lying to him that day when he had gone to snoop his room. Teddy really hoped James would forgive him. It wasn't like he had a choice, after all; Harry had told him to try get some evidence in favour of James. Besides, Teddy had learned that day just how hard being an Auror was. sometimes, you had to close your eyes to your family and do what was right instead of what you wanted to. Wearing the veil of ignorance was his first and foremost duty as an Auror, and if he wanted to do his job right, he had to do it that way. He had to get used to it, Merlin forbid, in case anything like this ever happened.
At around nine o clock, he closed the final case file he was summarising (something about a cursed flower vase that fell on top of anyone's head when they crossed under the shelf it was displayed on) and placed it in the filing cabinet. He stretched, feeling his back and neck bones crick, flexing his arms to get rid of the stiffness. He took his jacket off the back of his chair and put his arms though the sleeves, squaring his shoulders and tugging the front flaps to adjust them on top of the Muggle clothes he was wearing as he headed out of the door.
Within five minutes he'd reached the Atrium. The cavernous room was full of the lazy hum of footsteps as most of the people were heading towards the fireplaces on their way home. Teddy didn't have to make much of an effort; he was carried along with the flow of the people as they robotically, as one, moved though the room.
As Teddy reached the middle of the Atrium, however, he came to a halt. People behind him brushed past him, but he stood there, fixed to the spot, looking up at the giant fountain in front of him. It was a plain gold basin, the clear water in it frothing up as thin spurts of water streamed down from above, However, unlike most fountains, there was no decoration on top. Instead, there was a large obelisk-like pillar, on which was engraved thousands of tiny names. At the top of the pillar was emblazoned the words, ‘Martyrs of the War’.
By now, Teddy had many of the names memorised, especially those of particular significance to his family. There were Fred Weasley and Alastor Mad-Eye Moody, Colin Creevey and Ted Tonks... and there were Nymphadora Lupin and Remus Lupin.
When he had first seen this pillar, he was nine years old. Harry had brought him to his office one day on what he'd described as an educational trip. While passing through the Atrium, he had noticed the giant obelisk above the fountain, and as curious as he was, he had asked his godfather what the scribbles were.
These are the names of the people who died in the war, Harry had told him quietly, a sad smile on his face.
Teddy looked back at the pillar, his eyes widening as he took in the huge number of names. "Were there so many people who died?" he asked, his voice barely above a whisper.
Harry nodded, staring at the pillar with a faraway look on his eyes. He jaws were clenched tightly.
Are... are my mum and dad on there?" Teddy asked after a while. his Gran, Harry and everyone had told him that his parents couldn't be with him because they were in a better place, and he'd always wondered why they couldn't take him along if that place was so good. One day, after he had asked that to them, Gran had ran out of the room and Harry had followed her out. When Teddy had gone to ask her why she'd left, he'd overheard them talking about how his parents had died in the war and how they couldn't bear it when he asked such questions. Teddy had never asked them about his parents again after seeing his grandmother cry like that.
Harry's head snapped towards him. "You... know?" he asked, surprised.
Teddy nodded. "Are they?" he asked again.
"Yes," Harry said quietly. "They are."
Teddy tried to put on a brave smile. "You go along, Harry. I'll stay here till I find them."
Harry patted him on the shoulder. "Okay," he said. "If you need me, just tell the guard over there to call me, okay?"
"Okay."
As Harry walked away, Teddy started to move around the fountain, weaving around all the people heading into the Ministry, taking in the huge number of tiny scribbles. He started with the face facing the entrance, and, one by one, read the names from top to bottom with the speed of a nine-year-old. His parents weren't there. It took him a while to realise that the names were all organised alphabetically, and when he did, he skimmed through most of the names on the next face until he reached the names starting with L. Thankfully, it was last-names-first, so his parents would side by side.
His parents were at the end of the L section. Four tiny etchings on the bottom of the pillar. Two names: Lupin, Nymphadora and Lupin, Remus.
Teddy stared at them, a mixture of pride and grief brewing in his chest. It hurt, staring at their names on the pillar, knowing that they had died for him, so that he would live in a good world. And he felt extremely proud, as he saw them as martyrs, fighting for what they believed in. He was just a nine year old, but he was still old enough to appreciate what they had done.
Teddy jerked out of his reverie. Whenever he came to work or left at the end of the day, he'd stop in front of the fountain and look at their names. It was a personal ritual. Even if it was for a few seconds, he's stand there, close his eyes, and say a silent prayer for them.
Thank you, Mum and Dad. I hope you are happy, wherever you are. I love you both, he thought.
Opening his eyes, he smiled. Tearing his eyes away from their names, he squared his shoulders and followed all the other people out of the Ministry.
Around five minutes later, the Potters' fireplace burst into green flames, and Teddy Lupin stepped out onto the rug in front of it, rubbing soot out of his eyes. He blinked and looked around the room, locating Ginny Potter in one of the chairs, her feet tucked up beside her and an open magazine in her hands. Her head was turned sideways, looking at him with pursed lips as he carefully stepped into the room.
"Hullo, Ginny," he greeted her, wiping his shoes on the rug.
"Hello, Teddy," she said curtly, frowning at him. "What brings you here?"
Teddy didn't miss the slight hostility in her tone, and it took a bit of effort on his part not to feel hurt. She did have every right to be mad at him, after what he'd done. She had been expecting him to put James out of his misery when he'd called in that day, not implicate him as Teddy had done instead. Ginny Potter was as good as his mother; after his Gran and Harry, she was the one who'd played the most part in raising him. And he didn't want her to hate him. So he did the smartest thing that came to his head at that time.
"Ginny, I'm sorry," Teddy apologised, looking down. "I'm sorry for lying to you. I shouldn't have -- I should have told you what I was going to do, I--"
"It's okay, Teddy," she cut across him. Teddy looked up, avoiding looking into her eyes. Her lips did seem a bit less thin, though.
Teddy shook his head. "No, it's not. I was the one who found the so-called evidence in James's trunk. I was the reason he was in custody for that long, but believe me, Ginny," he said earnestly, daring to look into her eyes, willing her to see that he had no other choice. "I was just doing my job as an Auror. I was following orders from Harry. He was so worried about this and he'd told me to come here and look for everything just so that we wouldn't find any evidence and Harry could be sure that it wasn't James and --"
"Teddy," Ginny said softly, interrupting him mid-ramble. she stepped forwards and placed a hand on his shoulder. "I don't blame you, Teddy. I'm just... I'm just so mad at this whole incident, you know? I just can't stop thinking what James had to go through because of this whole thing. I know it's not your fault," she assured him as he tried to speak again, the skin around her brown eyes crinkling as she smiled weakly. "Give me a while, okay? I'll forget about this soon. I won't hold it against you; you're as good as my son. I'm more ticked off at Harry." She scowled as she mentioned her husband. "Stupid man. Doesn't even know whom to trust and whom to share things with. You'd think that after being married to me for more than twenty five years he'd understand that he can share these things with me."
Teddy rubbed the back of his neck. "Please go easy on him, Ginny." he requested. "Harry hasn't had a moment of peace since this happened. You should have seen him; he was going mad with worry as he tried to prove James didn't do it."
Ginny sighed, an unreadable expression on her face.
Teddy decided to change the topic. "Where's James, though? He's home, right? Harry told me he had James brought home as soon as Williamson was placed under house arrest."
Ginny nodded. "He's upstairs. He didn't say a single thing after the Aurors dropped him off. He just ran up to his room and closed the door behind him." She looked worried. "I went up to talk to him, but he said not to disturb him. He said he'd come down for dinner and that he just needed to get a few things straight in his head."
Teddy looked upwards in the general direction of James's room. "Should I go up there?"
Ginny shook her head quickly. "No, Teddy. After what happened last time, I really doubt he'd open up to you again."
Teddy looked down guiltily, mumbling under his breath about how he was sorry.
Ginny sighed in exasperation. "You sound so much like Harry, it's bizarre. Both of you have a habit of blaming yourselves for everything, don't you? Like godfather, like godson. Get it in your head that it's not your fault, okay? Next time you apologise, I'll send a mean Bat Bogey your way," she threatened, poking him in the chest.
Teddy was about to say sorry again, but he caught himself, flushing a deep shade of red. "Okay. But Ginny, I wanted to talk to him. What should I do?"
"You can wait here," the redhead replied. "It's your house too, isn't it? Make yourself at home. I'll bring James down at dinner, when Harry comes home, and you can meet him then."
"Harry's not home yet?" Teddy asked, surprised.
Ginny shook her head. "No, he said he'd come home by ten. I think he wants to wait awhile and give James the time to open up, too. I told him not to stay longer than ten, though. If James isn't downstairs by then, I'll go bring him myself. The poor boy needs proper food. He looks like he hasn't eaten a morsel while he was there." Her brows knitting into a worried frown.
"Anyway," Ginny said, looking at Teddy and forcing a smile on her face. "I'll be in the kitchen making dinner if you need me. You can go in to Al's room, if you like. It's empty now that he's at Hogwarts. I cleaned up yesterday to get my mind off of things, so you can wait there if you like."
Teddy thanked her, excusing himself as he went to use the loo. He decided to come back downstairs while he waited in the drawing room, taking a book out of the Potters' shelf and reading it to while away time.
At exactly five minutes to ten, the fire in the hearth turned green and Harry stepped out of the swirling flames. For a second, he was surprised to see Teddy on his sofa, but then he grinned. "Hello, Teddy."
"Wotcher, Harry," Teddy said, standing up.
Harry motioned for him to remain seated. He untied the knot on his travelling cloak and walked towards the main door to hang it on the coat rack. Coming back in, he sat down across Teddy and asked, "What brings you here? I was expecting you to go home and meet Victoire, perhaps."
"I have plans to do that," he admitted. "But first wanted to meet James."
"Did you talk to him?" Harry asked, slightly tense.
Teddy shook his head. " No he didn't come down yet. Ginny says he's been in his room all morning."
Harry sighed. "Yeah, I expected something like that."
Teddy was about to reply when Ginny walked in, bringing in a nice smell of herbs and cooked beef along with her. Noticing Harry, she scowled, her eyes blazing slightly. "You're home, are you?"
Harry looked down, not saying anything, a pained look on his face.
"I've laid the table for dinner," Ginny said. "Anyone interested can make their way to the kitchen. I'll be up in James's room, trying to convince him to come down."
"That's okay, Mum," a voice croaked from behind her. She turned around as James came into view, his hair ruffled up and his clothes dishevelled. He looked terrible, Teddy realised, Feeling a pang of guilt once again, which he tried to ignore. "I'm here. What's for dinner?"
Relief flooded Ginny's face as she went over and hugged her son. James awkwardly wrapped an arm around his mother, his face neutral.
Ginny let go of him and answered, "Pot roast, love. It's your favourite. Come along now." She took him by the hand and led him into the kitchen, while Teddy followed, Harry lagging along behind him. There was a slight scraping of wood on tiles as they sat down on their chairs. Ginny brought the roast to the table. It smelled wonderful, Teddy thought. "I thought I'd make some for you," Ginny said, cutting a piece and putting it on James's plate. "Now that you're home."
James laughed humourlessly as he picked up his fork, scrutinising it from every angle. "Yeah, in honour of me coming home from jail, right?" he asked bitterly.
Ginny bit her lip and looked down. Teddy had a sinking feeling at the pit of his stomach. He had a feeling this was not going to end too well. He looked cautiously towards his godfather, who was looking at his son with a pained expression.
"James, please don't say that," he said. "I know it's my fault son. I shouldn't have, not in the first place. If I had any idea there would be false evidence, then --
"Dad, you --" he said, breaking off as he gave a frustrated sigh. "I don't give a -- I don't care about that, okay? It's fine, I get it, you had to do your bloody job. I don't even give a damn about you," he looked pointedly at Teddy, "coming into my room and snooping about my stuff to find evidence against me, while I thought you were trying to help me get over my girlfriend's death."
Teddy looked down at his food, ashamed at James's words. It was absolutely true, and it stung him to hear James put it so bluntly.
"James," Ginny chastised.
He gave her a dark look. "Really, Mum?"
Harry waved Ginny down. "No, you have every right. I'm sorry, James. I know it won't make it up to you, but please, think from my point of view," he pleaded, his voice sounding rather weak. "I'm an Auror, son. If I didn't arrest you first, Williamson would have done it himself, he reasoned. "And if he'd done that, I couldn't have done anything at all. He'd have accused me of favouritism -- well, he did that anyway -- but nonetheless. Me arresting you myself gave me the upper hand so that I could look into it further in order to get you out. That way, no one could charge me of favouring you and I could get you out quicker." He glanced at Teddy. "It wasn't even Teddy's fault. I asked him to look around and get me evidence you didn't commit the crime. Please, James, you've got to understand."
When James didn't say anything, Teddy came in Harry's support. "James, you have no idea about the internal politics that goes on inside the Auror office. Do you know what Williamson did in order to take revenge on Harry?"
James was pointedly ignoring him, playing with a bit of broccoli on his plate.
Harry told him and Ginny about the detailed plan Williamson had made up to get him sacked.
That got James' attention. "Zach Williamson?" he blurted out, a confused look on his face. Beside him, Ginny was fuming, muttering obscenities against Williamson under her breath.
Harry nodded. "We don't know how, but Zach was the one who had poisoned Lucy. The same way he killed his own girlfriend, Alison."
James shook his head. " Zachary Williamson didn't even know Lucy," he said. "They'd never met anywhere. I knew everyone Lucy knew, and she'd never told me anything about the bloke."
Harry frowned. "They must have known each other somehow. Maybe before you and Lucy..." he trailed off. it was still a sore subject about James dating his cousin, and Teddy could feel the awkwardness grow at the table.
"There's a chance Lucy knew him before you two got together," Teddy completed Harry's question.
James shrugged. "Maybe. but as far as I know Zachary never knew her. He was a Ravenclaw, and a year senior."
This was new information, Teddy thought. They had to find a link between Lucy and Zachary. Of course, unless it was just a coincidence that Zachary would choose her, based on just that she was pregnant, like Alison was, there had to be some other link.
"Did she know Alison?" Teddy asked.
"Zachary's girlfriend? Nope, she never mentioned her to me."
Harry was looking pointedly at Teddy, and when Teddy finally noticed, Harry shook his head. He got the hint. No interrogating on that matter today. Dinner that night was supposed to be about making up to James, not questioning him further.
James seemed to have caught on to their silent exchange, because he said, "It's okay, you can go ahead and ask me stuff you know. It's not like you care about what I'm feeling after all."
Harry sighed. "James, if it's not us arresting you that has you bothered, what is it?"
James looked at him as if he were crazy. "Dad, you really don't know?"
"This is between you three," Ginny said, standing up. "I'll be in the kitchen, getting you more food. I can't believe you haven't understood yet." grabbing the plate from the table, she strode off towards the kitchen, red hair flying behind her.
It hit Teddy like an oncoming train. Oh, shit. he thought, mentally slapping himself. How... how could they have forgotten about that?
Harry's eyes widened as he finally realized. A look of guilt spread over his face. "Oh, James, I'm... I'm so --"
"Just stop it, Dad," James snapped, standing up. "Don't give me all that again! How could you have forgotten, Dad?" he asked, his eyes red. "You didn't even remember me, once! How could you do that? You made me miss her bloody funeral! I never got to say goodbye!" he yelled, throwing aside the chair, which landed on the floor on its side with a loud noise. Slamming his hand on the table, James stomped out of the kitchen, slamming his hand against the kitchen door as he went.
They heard him close his bedroom door with a loud bang. his mouth wide open, Harry looked at Teddy.
"I know," Teddy said before Harry could open his mouth. "It's going to be hell explaining this to him."
Chapter Endnotes:
Sorry, this was more of a filler chapter. But I did try to put a few clues in here and there. Anyone spotted them?
Please review! --Nadia