It took Teddy a minute to realise why he was feeling so tense when he woke up the following morning. When he did remember, though, he sat bolt upright; he was supposed to go to visit Lucy's grave with James. Memories came flooding back to him: James's anger towards him, his stress, and his anguished face as he talked about Lucy being buried before he got to see her.
Teddy rubbed his eyes and blinked a few times, trying to get rid of the grogginess. He needed to go over to the Potters', and fast. He looked at his watch; he was running late. James wouldn't be happy at all, and Teddy didn't watch another showdown like last night. Swinging legs off the bed, he stood up and quickly headed to the loo.
Once he had brushed his teeth, he put on Muggle clothes and grabbed his wand from his bedside table before heading down the stairs. From the fridge, he pulled out a bottle of milk and grabbed some cereal from the kitchen cabinet. He poured the milk into a clean bowl, and then proceeded to add the cereal. Dipping his spoon in, he raised the cereal to his mouth.
He ate in silence, contemplating on what he'd say to his god-brother. He had already apologised. What else was there to say? To be honest, he wasn't sure what exactly James was mad at. He had said that he wasn't upset over the fact that they had arrested him. But he also didn't hesitate to send some very cruel jibes towards him for that very reason. Chewing on his breakfast, Teddy thought that maybe, if it hadn't resulted in him missing the funeral, James probably wouldn't have been as mad as he was.
Merlin, this whole thing was, in one word, fucked up.
Well, two words to be precise.
He drank the last dregs of milk from the bowl directly, and placed the bowl and spoon in the sink. Waving his wand, he put a cleaning charm on the sink. Immediately, the sponge and soap came to life and started to wash the utensils.
Teddy managed a weak smile. Well, at least he was good for something.
With that happy thought (or sad, depending on the perspective), he grabbed his jacket from where he had discarded it the previous night and Flooed over to the Potters'.
When he finally emerged through the fireplace, he dusted the soot off his shoulders and headed towards the kitchen. The sweet aroma of pancakes was wafting out of it, filling Teddy's nostrils. Ginny truly was a fabulous cook, he thought. Pushing open the door, he found that James was already there waiting for him, a plate of unfinished pancakes in front of him. Beside him was Ginny, who was sitting at the table beside her son, a cup of tea in her hands.
"There you are," James grumbled, standing up the moment he saw James. "I was wondering whether or not to go over to your place and drag you out."
Teddy resisted the urge to roll his eyes. It was just his anger talking, after all. He couldn't blame James for anything he was saying. "Are you ready?"
James, however, did roll his eyes. "Obviously," he said, before brusquely pushing past him as he walked out of the kitchen door.
Teddy tried not to let James' behaviour hurt too much. He sighed. Things weren't really going as he'd planned.
"Take care of him, Ted," Ginny said from the table, looking apologetic. "I know he's behaving very rudely, but please excuse his behaviour. He's been like this all night, and I just don't know how to snap him out of it."
Teddy shook his head. "It's okay," he said to his godmother. "And I will." With that, he turned and went through the kitchen door himself, walking into the crisp September morning.
The entire house had anti-Apparition wards around it; Apparition from within was not possible. He met James outside the boundary of the Potter's house, where he was leaning against the fence and tapping his foot. He looked impatient. "Well, hurry up then," he snapped.
Teddy took James's hand, and he felt him stiffen under his touch. "On three," Teddy said. "One... two... three." He spun on the spot.
The uncomfortable sensation of being squeezed through a tooth-paste tube had passed as soon as it had started, leaving Teddy slightly gasping for breath. Beside him, James was the same way. He shook his head slightly to get rid of the horrid sensation. Apparition, it seemed, was one thing that did not get better with practice.
He looked around. They were in the graveyard in Ottery St Catchpole, around a kilometre away from the Weasleys' childhood home. In the distance, he could see the Burrow stand tall, it's chimney puffing out smoke happily. Grandma Weasley was probably up cooking breakfast, Teddy mused. He could also see a few other buildings here and there, and a small neighbourhood comprising of Muggle homes were seen right outside the cemetery gates. In front of him, the ground was full of gravestones of various shapes and sizes arranged in neat rows. They were standing at the beginning of the rows, right in front of the wrought-iron gates. Lucy's grave, he knew, was somewhere near the end.
"Where is she?" James asked. He looked nervous, eyeing the gravestones with apprehension.
"She's towards this way. Come along," Teddy said in response. Following the cobbled path, he made his way towards the later rows, with James trailing slowly behind him.
A strong wind was blowing, and the sky was dark and cloudy, as though the heavens themselves knew of their loss. The trek was quiet, with neither speaking a word, though the silence screamed enough on its own. Once in a while, Teddy would turn back to see whether James was all right. James gave fleeting looks towards each of the graves he passed, his jaws set, yet his eyes seemed to be reflecting the anguish he must have been feeling on the inside. Teddy didn't say anything to him. What could he even say to make it easier? This was not the sort of thing where one could simply comfort the other to make it better.
At last, after what seemed like hours, Teddy turned left, following a side road that branched off from the main path. He didn't have to look too far; Lucy's grave was the third one he came across and, by far, held the newest-looking gravestone. Someone was already there.
The woman was thin and rather unkempt, her long blond hair in a tangled bun on her head. Though she wore nice clothes, her posture was that of a woman who had lost everything. As she heard footsteps moving closer, she looked up.
It was Audrey.
Teddy stopped in his tracks. Lucy's mother, the woman he called his aunt... he barely recognised her. Her cheeks were sunken, her eyes dead and her lips dry. She looked like living hell.
"Hello," she said quietly, looking at the two of them with vacant eyes. She raised her hands and wiped her eyes on the sleeve. They were red and puffy. How long had she cried since her daughter's death? Had she even stopped? Slowly, she stood up and walked towards them. "Are you two here to meet Lucy? She's sleeping. I hope you won't disturb her."
Teddy was at a loss of words. He couldn't think of anything that could form a coherent sentence. He had seen her during Lucy's funeral, sitting on a chair like a statue. She hadn't moved once, not even to give a speech. She simply looked on straight ahead, her hand clutching Molly's tightly, not letting go even once. Teddy didn't know how to react. Should he be relieved that she had finally snapped out of her shock, or worried for her mental situation?
Audrey smiled; it was a phantom smile, one that didn't reach her eyes. "Lucy doesn't like it when she's disturbed, you know?"
"We- we won't," Teddy stammered.
Audrey looked at James, who was gaping at her, stunned by her appearance. He hadn't seen her since that day at Percy's house when Percy had attacked him. He had had no idea she was in such a bad shape.
"James," she whispered, reaching out her hand and caressing his cheek. "I haven't seen you in so long. You weren't even at her funeral!"
"Aunt Audrey... I--" James couldn't go on. What would he even say?
"I was just talking to Lucy," Audrey continued as if he hadn't spoken. "She said she was upset with you for not saying goodbye. Are you here to talk to her too?"
James just nodded.
"Oh, good. She said she'd forgive you if you just asked her."
James inhaled deeply, trying to look at anywhere except his aunt.
"You two stay with her, okay?" Audrey said, oblivious to their discomfort. "I have to go home now. Percy will be needing me soon. Take care, you two."
"B-bye, Aunt Audrey," James said.
"Goodbye." Teddy bit his lip.
Audrey smiled at them; once again, it was nowhere near real. Slowly, she walked past them, heading towards the opposite direction. They stared after her, not sure whether she would be all right or not. As she reached the gate, they saw her turn on the spot, and with a small crack, she Disapparated.
"I hope she'll be okay," James said quietly, staring at the spot she had disappeared.
Teddy turned to the gravestone. It was not very different from the others around it, just much newer. a few flowers lay scattered over her, no doubt placed there by their family. The dark grey stone was etched with writing that read:
Here lies Lucy Weasley,
16th August 2006 - 27th August 2022
loving sister, mother and daughter.
The past is history. The future, a mystery.
But we will hold dear our memories of her,
her smile, the sound of her laughter... forever.
The wind blew relentlessly, whistling in their ears. James came up beside him, looking at the freshly turned ground in front of him. He was absolutely still, his hands clenched into fists at his side. Teddy moved back to give him some privacy. James crouched low, getting on his knees in front of the gravestone and slowly touched the ground.
He sat there like that for a long time, just looking at the grave, frozen solid. Around him, the wind raged on, whipping at his clothes and hair. James took no notice.
Finally, a tear fell to the ground, and the earth immediately soaked it up. Another tear fell. And then came another.
"I'm sorry, Lu," James managed to whisper. Terrible sobs wracked his body as he caressed the ground softly, as though he was afraid of hurting it. "It-it's all my fault. My fault you're here right now."
Teddy pursed his lips, blinking as tears stung in his own eyes. He looked down, feeling like he was intruding in a very personal moment. He felt like he needed to get away. Where would he go, though? James needed him there.
"Forgive me, Lucy, please," James was saying, gently brushing his hand on the mound of earth. "I'm responsible for this... for your death. For our b-baby's dea..." He couldn't even go on. He simply crumpled to a heap at the foot of her grave, where Lucy's feet would have been, taking deep, shuddering breaths as tears streamed down his cheeks uncontrollably. He covered his face with a hand, scrunching his eyes shut as he let out a silent scream.
Teddy couldn't take it anymore. "James," he croaked, crouching down beside his god-brother and wrapping an arm around him. "Calm down, please."
James didn't even push him away, and this only added to Teddy's worries. James detested hugs, and if he was not reacting to this, he could just imagine how terrible James's condition was at that moment. Teddy's heart clenched.
James looked at the grave again, staring straight at the headstone. "Happy... happy anniversary, Lu," he breathed.
"Oh sweet Merlin, no," Teddy moaned to himself. It took Teddy all his willpower to not break down himself.
Slowly, with fumbling hands, James took out a package from his pocket. It was a small square box, wrapped with blue wrapping paper and a thin purple ribbon. Pulling himself out of Teddy's arms, he knelt towards Lucy again, and placed it on her grave. Then, with his wand, he conjured a bouquet of blue orchids out of the tip of his wand. He placed them beside the box.
"I've been saving money," he told her quietly. For a while, Teddy thought James had forgotten that he was there with him. For James, nothing else seemed to exist at that moment except for him and Lucy. "For those earrings you saw in Hogsmeade. I got them in our last Hogsmeade weekend, to give you on our third anniversary." He sniffled, rubbing his nose on the back of his hand. "Now I wish I had given them to you sooner."
He stood quietly, not saying anything, just lost in thought. Teddy, too, got to his feet. His legs felt like lead. "The day she died, Teddy," James said after a while, looking directly at him. "Was the day we had started dating three years ago. She died on that very day." Teddy felt like someone was stabbing his heart with a pin repeatedly. How was his brother bearing all of this? "For three years, it had been the most favourite day of my life. From now on, it marks the day I lost everything."
"I'm... I had no idea," Why did this have to happen? he asked the heavens. Why did it have to hurt his god-brother in such cruel ways? "I'm so sorry, James."
James shook his head. "You have nothing to be sorry for," he replied. "It's not your fault. You couldn't have stopped it. Anyway," he said. "Let's go home. I think I'm ready to leave now." His eyes looked considerably less anguished, though it hadn't gained back the life it used to hold. Teddy doubted it would return in a very long time. Something inside his god-brother was broken completely.
James took one last look at Lucy, whispering something to her, and from the way his lips moved Teddy understood he was saying "I love you."
Around him the wind picked up speed again, whistling as it passed through the leaves of the trees around them. For a brief second, Teddy could have sworn he could hear Lucy's voice whispering with the wind.
He looked at James, who seemed to have felt something similar, for the transformation in him was apparent. As though a dark cloud hovering over him had just disappeared. He opened his eyes and looked towards Teddy, jerking his head towards the gate as if to say let's go.
They walked back slowly, quietly, though this time the silence was not as painful. When they finally reached the gates, James stopped Teddy. "I know, you were just doing your job," he said. "I just need some time to get over this. I promise things will be back to normal between us. Just... give me some time."
Teddy nodded, a small smile on his lips. He felt like a great weight had been lifted off of his shoulders. Things weren't all right just yet, but they would be. It was a start.
He touched James' hand again, and closed his eyes. He thought of his home... the Potters' home. As the wind blew around them, they turned on the spot and Disapparated.