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Never Let Go by majestic_ginny

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Chapter Notes:
I know you guys probably want to kill me, and I really have no justification for disappearing like that. All I can say is I'm really, really sorry for disappearing. I had major writers block and I really, really didn't feel like writing at all. :(. But this is my longest chapter so far; all I can hope for is that this makes up for the delay.

If you are still reading this, then thanks for sticking with me! I really appreciate it :)

I am not JKR.



Once, when Teddy was ten, Albus had come to him, crying, claiming that James had stolen his stuffed dragon. That was the first time he’d gone into James’ room, as a senior-field-agent Auror armed with a wand (in the form of a wooden stick he’d found in the lawn), to find any –incriminalating” evidence against him. Of course, the stuffed Dragon had been under James’s bed at that time, and Teddy had succeeded in his covert mission.

This time, however, he would give anything to not find any evidence.

Teddy woke up early next day with a very bad sensation at the pit of his stomach. He was dreading the day already; not only would he have to snoop his own god-brother, he’d also have to lie to Ginny, who was as good as his mother. He climbed out of bed, took a hot shower, and changed into some casual Muggle clothes. Before he left, he popped into the kitchen and ate some leftovers from dinner the previous night.

He ate in silence, pondering over what he would say. James was going to be home; he hadn’t left the house since Lucy’s death. Teddy needed James out of the way in order to search the room. As he cut a piece of stake and popped it into his mouth, an idea came to his mind.

It’s now or never, he thought.

Putting back the soup into the refrigerator, he dumped the dirty dishes in the sink. After he grabbed his wand from the kitchen counter, he put a washing charm on the sink and ran out through the backdoor, locking it behind him. He closed his eyes and thought about the Potters’ home in Godric’s Hollow, and with a pop, he Disapparated.

Once that unsettling sensation had passed, Teddy opened his eyes and found himself outside the Potter’s house.

It was small and rather homely looking, with a white, wooden arch outside the gates and bright flowers planted in the front garden. The whitewashed house was two storeys high, with a red-tiled roof that was gleaming in the morning sun. The chimney was happily puffing out gray smoke. This house was in the same lane as the house Harry’s parents had lived in, where Voldemort had first attacked Harry; by looking to his right, Teddy could see that particular house near the end of the road. Harry hadn’t changed it -- Teddy could still see the blasted-off room, which was carefully hidden from Muggle eyes.

Teddy shook his head, already starting to feel a little nervous. He shuffled through the gate and stopped in front of the front door. Before he could ring the door-bell, however, Ginny swung it open, a bright smile on her face. The charm around the property boundary must have alerted her of his presence.

–Good morning, Teddy,” she greeted, standing aside so he could come in. She seemed to have been baking something; over a blue T-shirt and jeans, she was wearing a flowery apron that was covered with flour. Her flaming hair was tied in a messy bun at the top of her head, but stray strands fell over her face from all directions. Ginny was smiling, but he could still see the sadness in her brown eyes. –What brings you here this early in the morning?”

–Wotcher, Ginny,” he said, stepping into the house. Harry had once told him that was his mum’s favourite greeting, and, since then, Teddy had made a habit of saying it often. It made him feel closer to her. –I had a day off today, thought I’d drop by to visit my family.”

Ginny grinned. –Of course, you’re always welcome here.” She closed the door and walked towards the kitchen. Teddy followed. –You’ll be having breakfast? I’ve made pancakes.”

–No thanks, I’ve eaten.” The wooden kitchen gleamed from top to bottom, courtesy of Kreacher the house-elf, who was currently dusting the pots and pans. He turned when Teddy came in, and greeted him with a customary –Good morning, Master Teddy.”

–Morning, Kreacher,” Teddy replied. He liked that house-elf, considering he’d seen his ever since he was born. The elf loved him; he was the first baby he’d helped taken care of ever since Sirius’ younger brother. Harry had brought him over when they shifted from Grimmauld Place, and Kreacher had become too attached to his mistress and the children to refuse. At the kitchen table sat a very groggy Albus, who was yawning, and a sleeping Lily, whose red hair was fanning out all over the table.

–Hullo, Teddy,” Albus mumbled, picking at his pancake with his fork.

–Alright there?” Teddy asked. –You look like a zombie.”

–Al was up half the night doing homework,” Ginny informed him as she sat at the table beside Teddy.

–Homework? Merlin, Al, you still have a couple of days left to do it. Most people look like this on the last day of the holidays. Didn’t you leave anything for the last minute?”

Albus shook his head. –I was doing a bit of light reading for next year.”

Ginny rolled her eyes. –I know I’m his mother and I’m supposed to be glad he’s such an angel --” Lily sniggered, –-- but really, he’s worse than Hermione. Personally I don’t know where he got those genes from. Neither his father nor I were such... what do you call them? Nerds.”

–Guess that comes with being a Ravenclaw,” Teddy smiled.

Albus moaned. –You guys are not going to let me live it down, are you? James already gives me a hard enough time.”

Teddy smile faltered. James. He was here to talk to him. Turning to Ginny, he asked, –Is James home?”

She nodded, her lips thinning. –He’s up in his room. He hasn’t come down much, not since he learned about --” she stopped in her tracks, glancing at Al, who was absent-mindedly pouring maple syrup onto his breakfast. They didn’t know about the pregnancy. –About Lucy,” she amended.

He nodded. –I figured. Harry asked me to... to talk some sense into him,” he lied. It wasn’t a complete lie; Harry had asked him to talk to James.

Ginny sighed. –Good luck, then. He doesn’t listen to any of us.”

Teddy pursed his lips and nodded. –I’m going up. See you in a bit.”

–Okay.”

He got up from the table and made his way towards the stairs. The walls beside the staircase was diagonally lined with pictures of the Potter family, both moving and non-moving, with the occasional photo of the entire Potter-Weasley clan along with other family friends. Teddy was in most of them, his hair a bright turquoise or often acid green, unlike his present hairdo. At the moment, his hair was jet black and all over the place, rather like Harry’s own; he figured he wanted to look more like family as he talked with James.

He trudged up the stairs, and once he reached the landing, turned right. On the left was Ginny’s office and Harry’s study, and on the right, two on each side of the corridor, were four rooms, with the guestroom directly across. That was where Teddy used to stay when he came over. He walked to the farthest room on the right and, feeling an awful sense of déjà vu, he knocked.

–James?” he called. –It’s Teddy. Are you in there?”

There was some ruffling noise coming from inside, and after a few seconds, James replied hoarsely, –Yeah.”

Teddy turned the doorknob and stepped into James’ room. It was a mess. The blinds were drawn, and the floor was strewn with clothes and pieces of paper. Shattered pieces of glass lay on the floor, along with a dismembered wooden Quidditch player figures. The bed was messy, and the blanket lay jumbled up at the foot of his bed. There was even food strewn throughout the room, like James had forgotten to eat. The room smelled horribly stuffy. James himself was lying on the bed on his belly, one of his arms folded, his chin resting on it. His jet black hair was far messier than ever. His clothes were wrinkled, and his eyes slightly puffy. An album lay in front him, and Teddy realised it was the Weasley family album. He was looking at Lucy.

James looked up and smiled wanly at him. Teddy felt horrible. There was no way on Earth James would do something to hurt Lucy; it was obvious he was dying inside. Harry must have been crazy to ask him to do this.

–Hi,” Teddy said, tucking his hands awkwardly in his pockets. –You all right?”

–’M fine,” he said shortly. His free hand rested on the album, his fingers moving as though caressing the photos. Teddy inched closer. It was a picture of James and Lucy under a tree, sitting beside the lake. With a jolt, Teddy realised he was the one who had taken it, a month ago, the day after they came home for the holidays. Lucy looked so happy and carefree, unaware that she would die within a month. The Auror part of him wondered if she had already started consuming the Croton oil. His mind flashed back on Lucy’s heavily blistered face, her mouth open in a silent scream...

He closed his eyes and shook his head. No, he couldn’t think of that. He’d rather remember her the way she was before.

He focused back on James. –Mate,” he said, –You’ve gotta stop doing this to yourself.”

James’ eyes snapped up at him. –She was everything to me,” he answered rather coldly. –It’s not as easy as you think. How would you feel if -- if it were Vic?”

An awkward silence followed. Teddy didn’t know what to say. He couldn’t even imagine what he’d do if Victoire died. The very thought sent shivers down his spine. Instead, he let his eyes wander. If James was involved -- which he highly doubted -- where would he store the Croton oil? It was small and easily concealed. There was the chest of drawers, his bedside table, the wardrobe, his trunk… a number of likely places.

He tried to talk to James again. –So, Lucy --”

–I don't wanna talk about it, Teddy.”

–Listen, James --”

–Please,” James said, his voice becoming more agitated by the minute. –You heard what happened. You know. There's nothing left to say.”

Slowly, Teddy shuffled over to his bed and sat down. He hesitated, then said, –Well, if you need to talk...”

–Thanks,” he said curtly.

Silence. He didn’t know what to say; he had never been good with emotional conversations. That was more of Victoire’s forte. Instead, he looked around the room. The wall was lined with Quidditch posters, mainly of Puddlemere United. He knew James wanted to go there after he graduated. There was one large, blown up poster of his house team -- James, Fred and Lily, along with Geoff Wood, who was a third year when he graduated, were the only ones he recognised.

–How’s your Quidditch coming along?” he asked casually.

James looked like he’d been caught off-guard. –Er, good I guess.”

–You still aiming for Puddlemere?”

James nodded. –I think so. You know my OWL results weren’t that good. I don’t think I’ll be able to get any other well-paying job anyway. What job can you get with an A in DADA, Care of Magical Creatures and Charms, anyway?”

Teddy shrugged. –You could follow in Charlie’s footsteps and work as a dragon tamer.”

James cracked a smile -- the first true smile Teddy had seen after the incident. –No thanks, I’d rather have my bones broken by Bludgers than get grilled by dragons.”

An idea popped into his head. –Do you, er... do you wanna play?”

James frowned. –Play what?”

–Quidditch,” he replied. –Come, on, one match. Just to get your mind off things.”

James pondered it over. –I guess... I guess one match couldn’t hurt much.”

Teddy grinned. –Great. Go get the brooms and get the pitch set up.”

James scowled. –Why me?”

–Because you’re younger.”

Muttering to himself James pushed himself off the bed with difficulty. It was as though sitting there for so long and wallowing in grief had rusted his joints. The dark, vacant look hadn’t left James’ face, but at least it was a start. It was as though James understood that Teddy just wanted to help. Which he really did.

But, he thought as James walked out of the door, his main intention was something else.

Quick as a flash, Teddy got to work. He had less than five minutes before James started to wonder why Teddy wasn’t downstairs with him. He pulled open the doors of the wardrobe and ruffled up the hanging clothes, then patted down the folded ones. There was nothing there. He then moved to the bedside table, and once he figured that was clean, he turned to the chest of drawers. Pulling out one drawer after the other, he rummaged through the contents in a flurry, not caring whether he upset the contents. James was very messy anyway; Teddy doubted he would notice. He grappled though the things, looking for any sort of small, viscous liquid -- any vial or flask or container. All he found, though, were clothes and an occasional letter, from Lucy no doubt. After all, no one would look in James’ underwear drawer.

Sadly (or not), there was nothing in there, either.

Teddy looked around, feeling a surge of hope. There was nothing there. James hadn’t done it. He’d gone through almost everything. And then he spotted James’ trunk.

–Oi, Teddy! You can come down!”

Teddy’s head snapped up. James was done. He had a minute before he started to get suspicious. He hurried over to the trunk and muttered a quick –Alohomora.”

The lid popped open. He quickly raised the lid and locked it into place. As he scanned through the mess of robes and parchment, his eyes fell on a glint of something made of glass. It was a small vial, containing a clear, colourless liquid. His eyes widened and he pocketed it. Just to be sure, he tumbled through the other material, and near the bottom, he found another glass bottle, which was corked shut. Two vials. Both of clear liquid.

He quickly slipped it into his pocket, where it clinked with the other glass vial. Now sweating, he slammed the lid shut, locked it, and making sure everything was as it was before, walked briskly out of the room.



An hour later, he left James considerably happier. Before he left, Ginny pulled him aside.

–Thank you,” she said, beaming at him. She touched his cheeks. –Thanks for making him smile.”

Teddy had never felt so guilty in his life. –It was my job,” he answered.

–If he ever shuts himself out like that, I’ll kill him myself,” she muttered, and Teddy stifled a laugh. Thanking Ginny for the hospitality, he said goodbye to Albus and Lily. He walked out of the gate and, once he was out of sight, he Disapparated.

Ten minutes later, he ran into Harry’s office.

Harry looked up from the parchment he was reading, his quill stopping mid-air. He peered at Teddy through his round glasses. –Did you find anything?”

Teddy nodded, and held up the two vials. Harry’s eyes widened. –I don’t know what they are,” he added hastily. –I just found them in his trunk.”

Harry visibly relaxed. –And?”

Teddy tried to smile. –He’s better, now. He and I played Quidditch.”

Harry’s face seemed much calmer. –Thank you, Teddy. Ginny didn’t say it, but I am sure she was worried about him, and so was I. Now, you better get those into forensics. Get them to determine what it is, and if they say it’ll take time, tell them it’s top priority.”

Teddy nodded. He turned on his heels and left, heading towards the forensics chamber.



It was nine o’clock at night when the results came back.

Teddy was sitting in Harry’s office, while Harry paced the room, when the letter materialised on his table. In a flash, Harry walked over to his table and picked it up. With shaking hands, he picked it up and tore open the letter.

There were two parchments folded neatly together. Harry removed the first one and his eyes scanned through it. He let out a sigh of relief, relaxing visibly. He looked up at Teddy and smiled, and Teddy himself couldn’t stop the grin that spread across his face.

–One of the vials contained a memory tonic,” he announced.

Teddy laughed. Thank Merlin. –And the other?”

In response, Harry picked up the other parchment and unfolded it. Holding it at the corners, he slowly read through the parchment, still grinning. As he reached the end, though, his eyes widened and the smile dropped off his face.

It was replaced by a look of horror.

–What does it say?” Teddy prodded, fearing the worst.

Harry collapsed onto his chair, staring at the wall ahead of him.

–Harry!” Teddy exclaimed, standing up and dashing around the table. He grasped Harry’s shoulders. –Was it --?”

In response, Harry uttered two simple words.

Two simple words that nearly stopped Teddy’s heart.

–Croton oil.”



Chapter Endnotes:
Liked it? hated it? Please review! EDIT 25/01/14: I have changed a couple of things in the previous chapters because they were not matching with the timeline.