A/N: Just a quick hello. Thanks to everyone who’s been reading this story. I hope you’re enjoying it.
I just wanted to include an extra warning in this chapter, for those of you who don’t necessarily read the main warnings. I’m certainly guilty of this. Anyway, this is the chapter containing the suicide warning. I don’t want to shock or upset anyone when they get to that part.
*~*~*~*~*~*
Lucius leaned against his closed bedroom door, pressing his face against the cold wood, wanting to be close to Narcissa. He wanted to hold her, kiss her, and apologize for everything he’d done wrong. After a night of insanity, he just wanted her. When it came down to it, all he ever wanted was her.
Footsteps echoed behind him and he was reminded that the night was not over. He’d been promised one last ghost, one last trip, one last lesson. Instead of wanting to run away, he found himself wanting to face this ghost. He wanted to learn more and do better.
However, when he turned to face this new spirit and her evil cackle filled the air, he was far less inclined to trust this last spirit. Staring into her cold and insane eyes did nothing to boost his confidence.
–Of course,†he muttered with a sigh, remembering his comment to Tonks. Perhaps the powers that be were toying with him as well as teaching him.
–Don’t look at me with that smirk of distain, Lucius Malfoy,†Bellatrix snarled. –You’re no better than me. Not one spirit came here tonight because they thought you were worth saving. You’re nothing. We came for her,†Bellatrix gestured wildly towards the closed door, –and I’m here to show you why. I’m going to show you what your actions lead to. Tonight, I’m the Ghost of Christmas Future. And don’t you forget, it’s your life being judged, not mine.â€
Lucius stared into her hateful face, uncertain what to do. This was his journey and he wanted - needed - to complete it. But with this woman? This lunatic? She couldn’t be trusted to guide him from his bed to the loo. Yet she was all he had. And he could almost believe that she’d return from the grave to help her sister. Even through her obsession and madness, she’d held a hint of love for Narcissa.
–I’m not here as an art exhibit,†Bellatrix snapped. –Stop staring at me and let’s go.â€
She held out her hand. With a big sigh and an even bigger leap of faith, he accepted.
The journey felt less like Apparation and more like falling through the sky after jumping off a dragon. Not that he’d ever experienced such a thing. He’d have to ask Potter about it sometime.
He fell to the ground with a rough thud, but surprisingly felt no pain. Beside him, Bellatrix stood motionless without offering aid or even a kind word. Even as a ghost, the woman was a rude bitch. It was hard to believe she shared blood with his beautiful Narcissa.
After getting to his feet, unassisted, he took in his surroundings and his stomach fell. There was snow on the ground and a hint of festive music in the distance, but this was the least Christmassy place he’d been brought to yet. This was not a place of holiday cheer. This was a place of death.
They were standing in a cemetery. The grass and stones buried beneath a light dusting of snow. The dark place was mostly desolate, but a small group could be seen in the distance, gathered around a fresh grave. They were too far away for Lucius to identify any of the mourners, but instinct told him he knew each one.
–Why have you brought me here?†he demanded of Bellatrix, unable to keep a slight tremor from his voice.
–Don’t ask questions,†she replied with a twisted grin. –Traditionally the Ghost of Christmas Past didn’t speak, you know.â€
–I could be so lucky,†Lucius muttered, reasonably confident that even Bellatrix couldn’t cast the Cruciatus Cruse in spirit form.
His suspicions were proven true when he was jabbed roughly in the back instead of cursed.
–Go,†she ordered, gesturing towards the funeral party.
–I wouldn’t want to intrude,†he managed weakly.
She met him with a glare that she could’ve learned from the Dark Lord himself. With a shiver, he obeyed, fearing the consequences if he refused.
As he drew nearer, he first recognized his son, wrapped in the arms of his lover. The boys had aged and could hardly be called boys anymore. Wrinkles were etched under Draco’s sad eyes and streaks of grey interrupted Potter’s still messy crop of hair. It was obvious Harry’s embrace was the only thing keeping Draco on his feet. Lucius’ heart broke for his son and he wished to take his pain away.
When he found himself unable to endure the look of agony on Draco’s face anymore, he turned to the woman and teenage boy standing beside him. Andromeda had aged, too, and sadness came off her in waves. His sister-in-law had attended too many funerals in her day. The brunette boy beside her must’ve been the child he’d seen her cuddle only hours ago. Teddy was grown, but still too young to be at a graveside.
Andromeda moved to speak to Draco so she was blocking his view of the stone. Their eyes met and fresh tears fell down their cheeks as they embraced.
–I’m so sorry, Draco,†she said, her voice strained. –I know she wanted to see me. She wanted to see me for so long. I kept every letter she wrote. I should’ve just gone to her. I wanted to. It might’ve made a difference.â€
–No,†Lucius said, stepping back as if he could somehow escape the horrible realization Andromeda’s words brought upon him. Tears clouded his vision as he allowed himself to fall to the ground in a heap of sobs. –Not her. Not my Cissa.†He turned accusatory eyes to Bellatrix. –Why are you showing me this?â€
Showing no sign of emotion, Bellatrix pointed back to the scene before them. With no other choice, Lucius followed her gaze.
–No,†Draco insisted, squeezing his aunt’s shoulder, –this isn’t your fault. A visit from you would’ve meant the world to my mother, but it couldn’t have saved her. Mother was a strong woman, but she couldn’t be strong forever. This was a long time coming, but loving my father finally killed her. And he can’t even be bothered to make an appearance at her grave.â€
The words stung. Of course, Lucius had been aware of his absence, but he assumed there was a valid reason for it. He wouldn’t just skip Narcissa’s final farewell. That was insane. He loved her. She was his entire world. No one would mourn her the way he would. No one would feel her loss the way he would. Where the hell was he?
And what had Draco said? Loving him had killed her? That couldn’t be right. He loved Narcissa, too. He’d never let anything happen to her. He’d alienated his only son so thoroughly that Draco could hold him responsible for his mother’s death. The thought sickened him.
Andromeda stepped back beside Draco, looking at her sister’s final resting place. A breeze ruffled her hair as she brushed away a lingering tear.
–He’s the reason I stayed away,†she said, at last. –Lucius. I really thought it was for the best. Narcissa wanted me in her life, but I knew he never would. He never even accepted Harry. Why would I be different? She loved him so much. I thought it was for the best.â€
–I accept you,†Lucius cried, still kneeling on the ground. Of course, no one heard him.
–Father has a lot to answer for when his time comes.â€
With a slight nod, Andromeda squeezed his shoulder. –Teddy and I have to get back to the house to prepare the lunch. You’ll be along soon? It’s you they’ll be wanting to see, Draco.â€
–We’ll be there soon,†Draco promised with a strained smile.
Without a word, Teddy hugged both Draco and Harry before Disapparating with his grandmother. The boy probably never laid eyes on Narcissa in his life, but he mourned her through his love for Draco and Harry.
As soon as they were alone, Draco collapsed into Harry’s chest, his body wracked with sobs. Harry held him, but Lucius wanted the honor. He wanted to hold his son and grieve with him.
Harry patiently held Draco until the sobs subsided and Draco stepped out of his embrace, angrily wiping at his eyes. Even as a child, Draco hated to cry.
–I hate him, you know,†Draco said. His voice was cold and level. There was no way his words could be mistaken for hysterical grief. He meant them. –I hate my father. She loved him so much and all he did was hurt her. He kept Andromeda away. He hardly let her see us. And she just wouldn’t walk away from him. No wonder she killed herself.â€
–No,†Lucius screamed, an inhuman sound. –She didn’t. She wouldn’t. She couldn’t.â€
–I’m so sorry.†Harry wrapped his arms around Draco.
–She loved you, you know. We didn’t see her much, but you always made her laugh.â€
–I loved her, too.â€
–I’m done with him, Harry,†Draco announced, randomly switching topics. –My father wants his fagot son gone - fine. I’m gone. I never want to see him again. He murdered my mother and I hope he rots in hell.â€
–No, Draco. I never wanted you gone. I’d never hurt your mother. Please, Dragon. Please, listen to me.â€
Beside him, Bellatrix cackled as the world faded to black.
Darkness engulfed him like a cloud of black smoke. Lucius could neither see nor hear, but he didn’t care. He was far too entrenched in his grief for anything to matter. Perhaps he deserved nothing more than to be imprisoned in this bleak haze. Surely if he was the cause of Narcissa’s death - Narcissa’s suicide - that was what he deserved.
Whether he deserved to remain in the epitome of darkness or not, the clouds lifted. Lucius found that he still knelt in the cemetery, but Draco and Harry were gone. Still Lucius reached towards the spot where his son once stood, desperate to connect with him in some way.
Lucius’ attention was diverted when he saw two men approaching his wife’s grave, dressed in tattered garments. Undertakers. The family was gone and they were coming to cover the grave, to seal his beautiful Narcissa beneath the ground for all eternity.
When he looked to the ground, he realized something was wrong. The grave wasn’t where he remembered it. The earth wasn’t white with snow; dead grass crunched beneath his knees. He moved to look at the stone, seeing his own name with his wife’s.
–Time jump, you prat,†Bellatrix said coldly. –This isn’t about my sister’s death anymore.â€
Before Lucius could ask the horrid question that he already knew the answer to, he started to hear the conversation between the undertakers. Deciding that anything these men might say would be far more enlightening than anything to come out of Bellatrix’s mouth, he opted to keep the silence and listen.
–Guess there ‘aint no one comin’ to bid ‘em farewell,†the older man said. –We might as well cover ‘em up.â€
–Not a mourner. That’s sad,†the younger, scruffier man replied. –How d’ya suppose tha’ happened?â€
–’is wife died a year ago. Sad case. Suicide. He ‘ad er fallin’ out with ‘is son and ‘ere ‘e be. All alone.â€
–This is ludicrous.†Lucius glared at Bellatrix. –Draco would come for me. He wouldn’t leave me to go to my grave alone.â€
–Because you were always there for him?†she scoffed in return.
For that, Lucius had no reply.
–Ye know,†the elder undertaker went on, –’e died a year ter the day of ‘is wife. ‘ear ‘e ne’er got outta bed after she died. ‘is little elf, all alone, takin’ care of ‘im.â€
These chilling words were the first ones that felt real to Lucius, made any sense at all. Narcissa’s death destroyed him, left him bed-ridden for the remainder of his life. He’d always known, he couldn’t go on without her.
Yet, he spent an entire year in that bed with only Minxie for company. His dragon had truly forsaken him. He died alone and his only son didn’t seem to care.
–Dinit ‘e ‘ave money? What ‘appened to it?â€
The older man shrugged. –’e dinit leave it ter me. Rumor ‘as it, ‘e dinit leave it ter the son neither. Prolly gave it all ter some up an’ comin’ new dark wizard. ‘e was a big supporter of Riddle, back in ter day, ye know.â€
This was how he’d be remembered, Lucius realized. He was a man who destroyed his family. His only memorable contributions to the world were horrid tasks performed under the orders of a madman. Even his beloved son despised him. His legacy was as unflattering conversation between two strangers.
–Come on, then,†the older man replied, raising his wand. –Let’s get ‘er done. It’s freezin’ out ‘ere.â€
With a sad nod, the other mad followed suit and within seconds, what was left of Lucius was covered in dirt to be forever forgotten - never mourned.
As the men walked away, Lucius turned back to Bellatrix, who smiled evilly down at him. Tears streaked down his cheeks as he stared up at the hateful woman with pleading eyes.
–Tell me I can still fix this,†he begged. –I don’t want Narcissa to die like this. I don’t want Draco to be separated from his mother. I don’t want him to hate me. I don’t want to die alone. I don’t want any of this.â€
–You should’ve thought of that before you neglected your wife’s happiness and denied your son your love.â€
–I never meant to hurt them like this,†he sobbed, grabbing at Bellatrix’s robes. –Never. I love my wife and son. I’ll never take them for granted again. I’ll show Narcissa how much I love her every day. I’ll accept everything about glorious Draco. I’ll embrace Harry like my own son.†He buried his face in Bellatrix’s robes. –I can change. I want to change. Please, let me fix this.â€
Bellatrix’s cruel cackling filled the air.
AN: My apologies, apparently the first chapter wasn’t the shortest after all.