too light too too much color
don’t want a voice or eyes or ears
pulling my head behind me
grudgingly into this over-bright dirty white glare
faces are strange
words come but i cannot touch them
no matter how far my hand reaches
there is a round face and it’s supposed to mean something
but even when i look there isn’t anything to find
all i know is to put the sweetness in my mouth
and the empty paper in the hand
the hand is warm
warm is something
it hurts because i don’t know the question
the warm the warm hand
the hand and what it is supposed to
the
it’s
but i am searching for the thought and it is not there
it is all nothing it won’t exist
only find a blur small and wet and salty
because it can’t be
and so being is worthless
sometimes
i go away
all soft and black and gone gone just for a while
like the only window i have ever seen
where leaves dance in front of a soft cotton sky
and then i can escape
forget about the ache
of not understanding what meaning is
yes please let the darkness return to me
come back sleepy dream dreamy sleep
into the clearer dimmer trance of freedom
away from the humdrum of ivory light and people sound
doesn’t it know it isn’t real right now
The Closed Ward by 1000timesingoldenink
Story Notes:
The title is taken from a chapter title in the 5th Harry Potter book, and the words "Thanks, Mum" are taken from that chapter.
Chapter Notes: Many thanks to my beta, Wren.
Disclaimer: I am me. J.K. Rowling is not me. Therefore, I am not J.K. Rowling.
Chapter Endnotes: I like reviews, yes I do...especially since this is my first fanfiction poem.