And you'll feel my emotion
I will shelter you
From a tear or an ocean
Whenever your hope is gone
I'll give you strength to carry on
In the darkness of the night
I will be your light
I'll give you something to hold on to
When you can't find your way
Like a fire burning bright
I will be your light
Your Light ~ Celine Dion
Narcissa was settled in the study, pretending to read, just in case Draco happened to wander in the room. Her little dragon had been through so much. He didn’t need to find her staring into space or worse crying. She needed to stay strong for her son. Severus was able to spare him the Cruciatus Curse for his failure, but no one could save him from the inner turmoil he worked so hard to hide.
–Damn Voldemort,†she whispered.
It was the first time she’d dared to speak his name, but she felt she’d earned the right. He destroyed her sister. He took her husband. He tortured her son. She hated him and she wanted him dead.
Rage against Voldemort mingled with longing for Lucius and fear for Draco. Heat flushed through her body and she realized her emotions were swirling out of control. Taking a deep breath, she attempted to calm herself.
She was still breathing heavily when a crashing sound came from downstairs causing her to jump. Under normal circumstances, she’d send a house-elf to investigate, but normal circumstances were no longer a part of Narcissa’s life. All she could think was something happened to Draco. She fled towards the sound in full panic.
–Draco,†she called once she reached the lowest level of the Manor. –Draco.â€
Rushing forward, she stubbed her toe and cursed herself for leaving her wand upstairs. How was she supposed to find Draco in this darkness if he was too hurt to call out to her? She was about to return for her wand when she heard a groan coming from the sitting room. It was a familiar voice that most definitely didn’t belong to her son.
She took a hesitant step towards the sound, but then stopped. She wanted this so badly, but it was impossible. What if it was a trap? What if members of The Order of the Phoenix were using this as a ruse to get her son? They’d kill her and Draco without a moment’s consideration. But what if it wasn’t The Order? What if her most wished for desire was waiting for her down the hall? She stood frozen in indecision.
The moaning reached her ears again and it sounded even more pitiful. The sound brought her physical pain and tears came to her eyes. The risks faded to the back of her mind. They no longer mattered. Nothing could hold her back now.
She hurried forward, stumbling only slightly. Her feet met something solid on the floor, nearly tripping her, and the voice cried in pain.
–Lucius?â€
She fell to her knees, embracing the figure on the floor. Any doubt of his identity fled her mind when she felt his familiarity in her arms. He was far thinner than she was used to, but he was Lucius - her Lucius.
–Cissa,†he whispered.
–Lucius, how?†Her voice broke and tears streamed down her face, but she didn’t care.
–The Dark Lord broke us out. He said we could go home.â€
–Oh, Lucius.â€
She buried her head in his chest, heedless of the odors from his time in Azkaban. Had he not gasped in pain, she could’ve stayed that way forever, but at his cry, she pulled away, terrified of hurting him. Without light, she couldn’t tell what kind of shape he was in. She was afraid to find out.
–Are you hurt?†she asked.
–I’ll be all right, love,†he assured her in a strained voice that told her he was in a lot of pain. –Cissa, what happened to Draco? Is our son safe?â€
–Draco’s fine,†she told him, stopping herself from touching him for fear of causing more pain. She needed to see his wounds, but understood his need to know about their only child. –He’s in his room now, probably sleeping. It’s over. Dumbledore’s dead and our dragon was spared killing him. It’s all over. We’re okay. We’re safe.â€
–Thank Merlin,†Lucius’ voice broke with his own tears and he reached out to his wife. –I was afraid for him and you. I love you both so much. This is all my fault. I failed and you and Draco paid the price. I couldn’t even be here with you. I left you all alone, Cissa. I’m so sorry.â€
–Shh,†she whispered, gently pulling him into her arms, unable to go another moment without touching him. –Draco and I are fine. None of this was your fault, Lucy, but we’ve missed you so much. I’ve missed you so much.â€
–I’ve missed you, too, Cissa. I love you. Thinking of you in there kept me alive and sane.â€
–You’re home now,†she cooed. –You’re back with me where you belong. Now, I need to look at you, Lucy, see how badly you’re wounded.â€
–I’m fine. Please, just hold me, Cissa.â€
A large part of her wanted to give in to his request. Just being there with him gave her a peace she hadn’t experienced since he’d been cruelly ripped away from her. But she knew she couldn’t give in to her urges or his. Lucius was hurt and she needed to heal him. Anything else could wait.
–You’re not fine,†she told him, pulling away.
As she struggled to properly sit up, her hand brushed across Lucius’ dropped wand. Seizing it, she lit the room and stared down at her husband, seeing him for the first time since his return.
She could only hope the horror she felt didn’t show on her face. It was like looking at a stranger. Her strong, proud husband was gone, replaced by a fragile, frightened version of his former self. Most of his external wounds appeared to be minor though. Many cuts and bruises covered his now thin frame and filthy rags hung from his body. His once luscious hair was matted around his shoulders; so dirty that it appeared to be brown rather than its usual blonde. He looked up at her with sadness in his eyes.
–That bad?†he asked.
–Nothing we can’t fix,†she replied, kissing his whisker-covered cheek.
–Well, you look as beautiful as the day I married you.â€
She laughed. The first genuine laugh to leave her lips in over a year. The small release was unbelievably freeing.
–Then it appears Azkaban has effected your sight,†she teased. –Do you think you can sit up so I can heal the scratches and bruises?â€
Lucius nodded, but when he tried to force himself into a sitting position, he fell back to the floor, looking defeated. His injuries weren’t severe enough to cause that kind of weakness. His problem had to be caused by malnutrition. When Bellatrix came to her after her escape from Azkaban, she’d nearly been starved to death.
–It’s okay,†she told Lucius, keeping her voice soft and warm. –You’ll get your strength back. I’ll take care of you.â€
–Thank you, Cissa.â€
She reached under his arms and helped him sit. She summoned a pillow to place behind his back. After everything he’d been through, she just wanted him to be as comfortable as possible. She waved his wand over him, taking away his injuries with ease. When you grew-up in the Black family, you learned healing spells early in life.
–Better?â€
He nodded. –Thank you, love.â€
Knowing that her touch would no longer cause him pain, Narcissa leaned into her husband, truly embracing him. His arms wrapped around her shoulders and she truly felt the presence of his love, a sensation she’d desperately missed in this last year. For a long time they stayed that way, simply grateful to be reunited once again.
It was Lucius who finally broke their silent reverie of each other.
–Cissa?â€
–Hmm?â€
–Love, I’ve spent a year surrounded by this stench and have become immune. You have not. How can you even stand to be near me?â€
She giggled at his words. –Well since you brought it up, you could use a bath,†she teased, although her statement was inarguably true. –But I always want to be near you, especially now. I never want to be separated from you again.â€
–I couldn’t agree more,†he said, running his fingers through her hair. –Does that mean you’d like to join me in the shower?â€
–Have I ever turned you down before?†she asked with a mischievous grin,
She helped Lucius to his feet and willingly accepted his weight as they started up the stairs. It would be a long time before her husband could stand on his own again. She hated that he’d been reduced to this, but was content to help him regain his strength.
Like their son, Lucius was weakened because of the orders of a cruel madman. But Narcissa remained strong and she would continue to remain strong for her family. Voldemort would not take them from her. She’d see to it. No matter what she had to do. Lucius and Draco would be kept safe.
At the top of the staircase, Lucius stopped to catch his breath, leaning against the wall. His breathing was ragged and he looked ashamed of his obvious weakness.
Leaning over, Narcissa brushed her lips against his. She smiled warmly, trying to tell him through her actions that it was all right, he could be weak with her and she’d always love him. She didn’t want to say these words aloud for the sake of his dignity, but she needed him to understand. He’d always taken care of her, but she could take care of him, too.
–I know,†he whispered with a smile, as if reading her thoughts. –You’re the one who’s always there for me, Cissa. You’re the one who will release me from the darkness because you’re my light. You’ll always be my light, love.â€
–I love you, Lucius.â€
–I love you, too, Cissa. Forever and always.â€