I.
The students were still filing into the Great Hall for the welcome feast when Charity dashed through the doors around them and hurried toward the front dais. She was only slightly surprised to see a stranger sitting next to her normal chair; she had known the new Defense Against the Dark Arts professor was arriving that day, but he looked rumpled and tired, and she couldn't help but frown, wondering what sort of dinner companion he might be. Reminding herself that appearances weren't everything, Charity straightened her robes and smiled as she pulled out her chair to join him.
"Good evening," she said, hoping she sounded welcoming because he looked so weary. His face was lined with care but also with kindness, and he had soft brown eyes that watched the hall with both a hint of nervousness and a trace of sadness. Like her, he had been a student not so long ago, and she remembered her own first feast as a teacher a year earlier. It had brought back all sorts of memories, and she could only imagine what he might be thinking, having come back to the castle where he had grown up.
"You must be Remus Lupin," she continued. He turned to smile at her, and she decided she liked him immediately just from his smile. It made him look younger, when he appeared so much older than he really was. She wasn't the type to form quick opinions, but she had been curious about the headmaster hiring a man with lycanthropy to work so closely with students. Seeing him now, she had to admit Remus Lupin's slightly rumpled and weary appearance did little to help his cause, yet his smile and his kind, sad face negated any concerns she had unconsciously developed, and she looked forward to sitting with him.
"I am, but you have me at a disadvantage, given I've just arrived." He stood as she sat, and she was impressed with his manners, old-fashioned as they were.
"I'm Charity," she said, holding out her hand. He took it, his grip firm, his hands rough as if he'd been using them for something other than reading books and grading papers. "Charity Burbage. I teach Muggle Studies."
"Ah," he said, smiling at her once more. "Muggle Studies. I enjoyed that class when I was a student."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "Did you really or are you simply saying that because we've just met? Only most people don't admit to taking it, let alone enjoying it. Especially in school."
He cocked his head at her, eyes twinkling. "No, I really did enjoy it. My grandmother was a Muggle-born, and I have very fond memories of her. She died when I was quite young, so Muggle Studies was a chance for me to rediscover her world."
Charity couldn't help but be impressed once more. Too often she found that most witches and wizards were simply not interested in her area of expertise, or worse, dismissed it completely as unbecoming for study. Even now, so many years after the war, the number of Slytherins in her classes continued to dwindle, while those who did take her class were the rare few who braved it for career purposes only. She was glad the new Defense Against the Dark Arts teacher was so open to it; perhaps she might have finally found someone to discuss her lessons with.
Before they could talk much more, Dumbledore started the feast with his customary words of wisdom, as well as a warning to students regarding the Dementors surrounding the castle. Most of the students knew perfectly well the reason for their cold presence: Sirius Black had escaped from Azkaban, and the Dementors were there to protect the castle. Why, she wasn't exactly sure, but then it occurred to her that Remus Lupin had been in school with Sirius Black, and she looked at him curiously.
Coincidences like that didn't happen--not in Professor Dumbledore's castle.
She had been a first-year Ravenclaw and he had been a fifth-year Gryffindor, but she remembered Remus Lupin and his friends. Few students had left such a mark on the castle as James Potter and Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and…she couldn't remember the fourth boy, he had been so much quieter than the others. Yet experiencing three years of their exploits, even from another house, had definitely left an impression in her mind. She was surprised she hadn't made the connection before.
"So when did you arrive?" she asked after Dumbledore had introduced both Remus and Hagrid as new staff members, and the food began to appear. She helped herself to her favorite dishes and turned to offer him some, but Remus had already tucked in; goodness, was he starving? He certainly looked thin enough.
"Sorry," he apologized as he wiped his mouth with his napkin and grinned ruefully. "I arrived with the students, actually. I took the train."
"The Hogwarts Express?" she asked in surprise, and he nodded, another small smile playing at his lips. "Why ever would you do that?"
"I was in London." He shrugged. "And it's been so long since I've been back, I thought I might enjoy the ride, for old time's sake."
She narrowed her eyes at him. "And?"
"Professor Dumbledore asked me to," he laughed. "With everything that's going on."
"You mean Sirius Black," she said. She noticed his face stiffen just slightly, but he composed himself quickly and just nodded, his expression neutral.
"You knew him at school," she said, trying to be conversational. "I remember you and him."
"You do?" he asked, sounding puzzled. "What year were you?"
"I was a first-year when you became a prefect," she said. "I was in Ravenclaw, but I remember because you and your friends were almost always the talk of the school--pranks, fights, you name it. Plus most of my friends had a crush on one of you at some point."
"My friends." Remus swallowed and set down his fork. He turned to her and the look on his face almost broke her heart: incalculable loss, tinged with bitterness and anger. "I'm afraid my friends are all dead, Miss Burbage."
"Sirius Black isn't dead," she pointed out, slightly confused. "He escaped. That's why the Dementors are here."
"I am well aware of why the Dementors are here," he replied curtly. "But Sirius Black is dead to me." He placed his napkin down, even though he clearly wasn't finished with his meal, and stood. "If you'll excuse, it was a long trip. The Dementors boarded the train, and I must rest before classes begin tomorrow."
Remus left the hall, his back stiff. Charity stared after him, mentally kicking herself for offending him so quickly. And she hadn't heard about the Dementors either, which must have made the trip even more difficult, given how cold and and dark they made her feel whenever she passed one. Glancing around, she caught Severus watching her.
"What?" she snapped. "Care to have a go at me for pissing him off on the first night?"
He smiled tightly, but it was not a pleasant smile. Severus was not pleasant: he was dry, bitter, sarcastic, barely tolerable. He inclined his head toward the doors. "Lupin was correct. The Dementors boarded the train, and he sent them off. I'm sure his abrupt departure had nothing to do with your company."
She narrowed her eyes at him. For the most part, she got on reasonably well with Severus Snape. Oh, he hated her class and took every opportunity to sneer about it when he could, but after a year of failing to react and in fact holding her own against him, she thought she had finally earned a small bit of grudging respect from the Potions professor. She was one of few staff members who tried to give as good as she got, it seemed; most others avoided him.
"He seemed upset when I mentioned Sirius Black, not the Dementors," she said, wondering if Severus would know anything more. He had been at school at the same time as Remus, after all.
Snape's lip curled. "I'm sure anyone would be upset if you mentioned the man who had killed his two closest friends." He spoke with little sympathy; he was never sympathetic, toward the students or the staff, but he sounded almost gleeful at revealing something so tragic.
Charity frowned. "What do you mean, his two closest friends? I thought Sirius Black killed a street full of Muggles."
"Oh, there was that too," said Snape. He strode over to take Remus's seat next to her, his black eyes boring into her own. "But there was more."
"I didn't realize you were such a gossip, Severus," Charity admonished, even though she desperately wanted to know what had really happened between Remus Lupin and Sirius Black. Snape seemed to sense this and merely raised an eyebrow.
"It's not gossip when it's truth," he replied. "Lupin was quite close with Black, Potter, and Pettigrew, as you might recall." When she nodded, remembering Peter Pettigrew as the fourth member of the group now, he continued. "Sirius Black gave up the hidden location of Potters to the Dark Lord. When Pettigrew went after him, Black killed him and the rest of those Muggles."
Charity stared at him, unable to believe what Severus was telling her. No wonder Remus had left so abruptly. It was his first day back at Hogwarts, and she had immediately brought up the man responsible for the death of his two best friends. How he had survived such a crushing blow was almost unthinkable. She had to talk to him and make amends.
"Thank you, Severus," she said, finishing her pumpkin juice and standing. "I appreciate you telling me the truth."
He narrowed his eyes at her. "You're going to find him and apologize, I presume?"
"Of course," she replied, meeting his gaze. "I can only imagine how hard it must be for him right now, being back at Hogwarts, knowing Sirius Black has escaped. What if Black comes after him?"
Snape actually sneered, and Charity was taken aback by the sharp look of loathing on her colleague's face. There was something else going on, something she could only begin to understand--some sort of history between the two men. It was clear that Snape did not like Remus, which made Charity all the more determined to support the new professor.
"Black is not after Lupin," Snape finally said. "And if he were, it would be no loss."
Charity turned away, disgusted once again with her colleague. "Sometimes you are a despicable human being, Severus," she said as she left. "Good night."
She hurried out as quickly as she had come in, hoping to find Remus Lupin and try for a better first impression.
* * *
Remus wandered the castle, hands tucked deep in his pockets as he gazed around the childhood home he had not seen for more than ten years. Every twist and turn of the corridors brought back deep recollections; every portrait, every classroom, every brick itself was tied to a memory so profound he wondered why he had come back. It hurt to remember such things, when he had lost so much.
Letting a hand trail along the wall that lead to the secret passage behind the fourth-floor mirror, Remus sighed deeply, wondering if he would regret returning to Hogwarts. It seemed no coincidence that Dumbledore had called him at the same time Sirius had escaped from Azkaban. Surely there must be a reason the headmaster required his presence now after so many years. Was Sirius after him, or was the traitor searching for Harry? Had Remus been called to Hogwarts for his own protection, or to watch over his best friend's son? Perhaps it was both.
Shaking his head of maudlin thoughts, Remus finally came to the rooms where he would be staying. His trunk had already arrived, and he had few other possessions to unpack. Instead, he glanced around his new home in the castle, so different from the Gryffindor dormitory. A small sitting room was set off from an even smaller sleeping quarters, with a private bathroom to the side. There was a beautiful view of the grounds from the window--but ironically enough, it looked out upon the Whomping Willow, and Remus turned from it, not wanting to think about the tree and all it had meant to him in his youth.
He had just sat down and poured himself a glass of wine he had brought with him--a Muggle red he had become fond of over the years and always made sure to have on hand--when a knock at the door roused him from his reverie. He opened the door to find the Muggle Studies professor standing across from him. She looked both contrite and concerned.
"I'm sorry to bother you, Professor Lupin," she began, and Remus waved away the formal address.
"Please--call me Remus," he said. "And don't apologize. I should be apologizing to you for running out on our conversation earlier."
She looked surprised. "No, of course not!" she exclaimed. "I know you've had a long trip. I spoke without thinking at dinner, and I just wanted you to know I'm sorry I mentioned…well, what I mentioned."
He smiled wanly. "You mean Sirius Black?" When she nodded, he sighed. "I should have expected it. You will probably not be the first person to ask me about him, given our former friendship and his recent escape."
"It must be hard," she murmured, and he eyed her speculatively.
"I've found most everything about my life to be hard, Miss Burbage," he replied. "That does not give one excuse to be rude."
"You weren't rude," she smiled at him. "And please call me Charity."
"Would you like to join me, then, Charity?" he asked, motioning her inside. He liked her. She seemed kind and open and perhaps it was best not to be alone his first night back. He should certainly attempt to become a part of the staff. "I was just about to have a glass of wine and would be happy to continue our conversation from dinner."
She glanced around the corridor, as if she were nervous about being caught entering his rooms; perhaps it was him, and she was looking for an excuse, an escape. Pushing the thought from his mind, he nodded, though he couldn't help feeling disappointed. "Another time, then," he murmured.
"No!" She stepped into the room and shut the door behind her rather quickly, he thought. "It's just that I don't want the students talking, this being your first night here and all."
He moved toward the chair he had been about to collapse into and motioned to the open bottle of wine. "Would you like a glass? It's a Muggle wine."
"You really are into Muggle Studies, aren't you?" She laughed, and Remus was glad to hear that it was clear and light; she did not sound nervous at all. He poured her a glass and handed it her, indicating a nearby chair before he joined her.
"I don't tend to make up things to win favor," he replied. "I prefer honesty, which has not always served me well, but is certainly preferable to deception."
"Spoken like a true Gryffindor," she murmured, and took a sip of her wine. Remus watched her, noting her delicate features, vibrant hazel eyes flecked with green, dark hair tinged with auburn. For some reason, he reminded her of someone, and the thought made him both sad and more comfortable with her.
"What do you think?" he asked, indicating the wine, and she nodded in appreciation.
"Not too dry, a hint of cherry and vanilla, I think, with nice oak undertone." She gave him a challenging look. "It's a merlot from France, probably Bordeaux or Bergerac. Am I right?"
"I'm very impressed!" he laughed, and he allowed himself to relax. A woman who knew wine could only be someone worth drinking it with. Suddenly the thought of being back at Hogwarts didn't seem so bleak after all.
* * *
Almost by Gmariam
Chapter Endnotes: This story was somewhat inspired by Carole's story, The Walnut Tree, which was actually a story about Charity Burbage and Oliver Wood. An offhand remark about Remus Lupin got me thinking about him and Charity, and so I present what might have happened off page in book three. I do hope you enjoy it. Carole, if you find any canon errors and/or Americanisms, that's because I have scattered them about as another birthday present for you to find and pick on. ;)
Everyone else, leave them for Carole, but please let me know what you think in that little white box there, then swing by EquinoxChick author's page and leave her a present too! Happy Birthay! :)