James looked at himself in the mirror and blinked. The green eyes looked back at him from the pretty oval face, framed by the gleaming ginger hair which hung down to his shoulders. It was a face he liked very much, the face of his girlfriend, Lily. He had transformed himself to look exactly like her, just for an hour or so, by using Polyjuice Potion. It was for her own good, he told himself, although it would end up being for his good as well.
He had been planning it for months, and thought it was a good idea. It hadn't escaped his notice, the way that Severus Snape kept his eyes on Lily, watching her from a distance whenever she was around. James saw him looking at her when they were at school and also lately, since the slimy oddball lived just a few streets away from Lily. Snape was awfully crafty and sneaky, and he hated James. It was only a matter of time before he tried to use Lily to get revenge, to manipulate her--possibly using dark magic-- and steal her away. Well, James was not going to let that happen. He came up with the idea of using Polyjuice Potion, and told his friends about his plan. Peter and Sirius agreed that it would be a smart thing to do, but Remus disagreed, seeing no reason to suspect Snape of evil intentions regarding Lily. James remained convinced that his suspicions of Snape were justified, and decided to take action. Eventually, after enlisting the help of his friends to acquire the ingredients, he succeeded in brewing the complex potion in his basement. It only remained for him to arrange to meet with Snape, but there he got lucky.
A few days before Halloween, Lily received an owl from Snape, and it fortuitously arrived when James was with her. She had seemed thoughtful after reading the short note, and he had asked her what it said.
–Oh, nothing,†she had replied vaguely, whereupon James had playfully snatched it away from her, saying, –Let's see, then.†While she protested, he managed to read, –Dear Lily, If you would be so kind, please meet me on All Hallows Eve at midnight, in the graveyard where your dear parents are buried. --Severus.â€
She was very annoyed with him, but he had tried to make light of it. –Why, were you actually going to meet him, then?†he asked.
–Well, I don't know. Maybe... – she said.
–Oh, Lily,†James had said, –Why would you want to do that?â€
–Well, he is my old friend...â€
–But what kind of friend is he now? Still hanging around with his Slytherin mates... probably up to all kinds of no good. Why should he want to see you now, when he knows you're with me? You know he's only trying to make trouble for us.â€
–You think so?â€
–What else could it be? Do us both a favor and just stay away from him.â€
–Well... all right,†she finally agreed, a bit reluctantly.
James, however, wasn't convinced that she had completely given up on the idea of meeting with Snape. He thought she might still be thinking about it, not because was sneaky or anything, but because she was so soft-hearted. Snape was her old childhood friend, and James suspected that she still felt some sympathy for him, and might go to meet him anyway. To keep this from happening-- and to give himself the chance to meet Snape as Lily-- James had her come to his place Halloween evening, where he had turned the clocks back one hour. Earlier in the day, he had been at her house briefly and had changed the clocks there, too. Remus and Sirius came over that evening as well, and they had all had a good time talking and playing cards. When Lily was ready to leave, she was surprised to see that it was only half past ten. Ordinarily James would have tried to convince her to stay a while longer, but this time he didn't. Since Remus and Sirius were both leaving then, Lily said goodnight and left also.
That gave James about half an hour to prepare for his rendezvous with Snape. He took a goblet full of Polyjuice Potion to his room, then put on an old set of robes he had outgrown years ago, which he thought to be about Lily's size. After adding one of her hairs to the potion, he drank it down. Then he watched, fascinated, in the mirror as his face changed into hers. He removed his glasses when they began to make his vision worse instead of better. Then he noticed that his shoes were far too big for her little feet, and searched for a smaller pair. The smallest he could find were only one size smaller, so he put on some thick socks and laced the shoes as tightly as he could. They were still too big, but the robes mostly concealed them, so Snape probably wouldn't notice, as long as James didn't trip over them.
Satisfied with his transformation-- and resisting the desire to peep under his robes-- James Apparated to the little graveyard where Lily's parents were laid to rest. He was a bit early-- it was about ten minutes to midnight-- and he expected to wait a bit for Snape to show up. However, as soon as he arrived, he saw a dark figure approach him. It was Snape, of course.
–Lily,†he said softly, as he stepped into the faint glow of a streetlamp some distance away. His face brightened with gladness as he looked at James, who began to realize a slight flaw in his plan. He had planned so carefully how he would make himself look like Lily, and considered how he would act like her and what he might say. But he hadn't anticipated how differently Snape would act when he believed he was talking to Lily. James had never seen Snape look at him smiling as he did now, or speak to him with such tender affection, and it was rather disconcerting.
–Thank you for coming,†Snape continued. –I hope it doesn't bother you, being here, but... I couldn't think of any better place. Here at least we can talk privately, but it's not too private. And it's... neutral.â€
James merely listened and nodded, looking around at the gravestones.
–It's nice to see you again,†Snape said in the same gentle tones, moving a step or two closer. He extended a hand toward James, who made no move to take it, so Snape slowly lowered it. –How are you?†he asked.
–Fine, thanks,†James said in Lily's pretty voice, –You?â€
–Not too bad. I've missed you, though. You've been avoiding me, I think.â€
James frowned and said coolly, –Look, Severus. I can't be seeing you any more. I'm with James now--â€
–--I know,†Snape said glumly, looking down at his feet. –but that doesn't mean you have to stop seeing me altogether, does it? He isn't jealous of me or anything, is he?â€
–No, of course not!†James scoffed. –Why would he be jealous of you?â€
–Why indeed? I'm sure he couldn't imagine that you'd prefer me to him...†Snape rolled his eyes. –Surely he would understand if you and I choose to see each other once in a while, just as friends. We are friends again now, aren't we?â€
–Friends? Me and you?†James responded, slightly baffled. –But why? Because we were chums years ago, when we were children?â€
Snape seemed a little hurt as he said humbly, –Well... yes. That's part of it, at least. That's why we have a sort of … understanding, because we've known each other for so long...â€
–All right, but then things changed. We grew up. And now... well, I just don't see the point. James and I are very close. In fact, I think I'm falling in love with him.†James saw with satisfaction that Snape reacted to this with a kind of wince, then went on, –I don't know why you and I should continue this friendship. We don't have much in common anymore. I don't really want to keep seeing you, and I don't think James would like it if I did.â€
–No, I don't suppose he would.â€
–He would think you were after something more than friendship.â€
Snape's eyes widened as he looked back at James.
Aha, thought James, that's it, isn't it? –Let's just put an end to it now, S-Severus,†he said. Oops, he almost called him Snape. That might have given him away; Lily never called him that.
–You don't need to be friends with me anymore.,†James continued, –You have other friends, don't you? That lot you've been hanging around with-- I hear they're planning to join You-Know-Who and become Death Eaters. That's what you're planning too, isn't it?â€
–No!â€Snape exclaimed. –No, I'm not planning anything of the sort. I'm friends with them because I don't like to be completely alone, and... well, who else will have me? It's not like your Gryffindor friends would ever welcome me to join them. They hate me-- they always did, before I ever did anything to them. Other than you, my Slytherin mates are the only friends I've ever had.â€
James thought-- a bit guiltily-- that he had a point.
–Lily,†Snape said, with a little self-deprecating smile and a small shake of his head, –You might find this is silly, and maybe it is, but... I always used to feel so sure of myself when I was with you. I knew what I wanted and what I would do... and I always felt that I could do anything. But now... I don't know. I'm not at all sure of what I should do now, where I should go or anything. I had this idea that perhaps seeing you and talking with you tonight... that it would somehow make everything clear to me. But it hasn't.â€
James had some strange feelings as he looked at Snape and listened to him speak. He seemed so surprisingly genuine and vulnerable. Suddenly James realized that Snape really wasn't all that ugly, though he and Sirius had continuously called the fellow an ugly git throughout their school years. But of course, he had previously always seen the black-haired Slytherin scowling or sneering, or shouting back at James and his mates. He had never seen Snape as he looked now, his dark eyes full of warmth and sincerity, his face softened, his deep voice so gentle and appealing. James could actually see how Lily would feel sympathy for her old friend-- perhaps even feel attracted to him-- so it was a good thing that she wasn't actually meeting him tonight.
–Well, I don't know what to tell you,†James responded. –I've no idea what you should do now. That's something you need to work out for yourself.â€
Snape nodded, his head lowered, as if he were being scolded by a teacher at school. –I suppose,†he said finally. –Oh, there's also this--†he added, reaching for his wand.
At least, that's what James thought he was reaching for, and he reacted swiftly and instinctively, drawing his own wand as if for a duel. It was understandable, considering all the times he and Snape had interacted by casting curses at each other. He realized his mistake, though, when he saw the look on Snape's face. It was stunned and frozen, the eyes wide, the mouth slightly open.
–Lily...†he said with disbelief, –You don't think I would... use magic against you, do you?â€
James tried to shrug it off as he replaced his wand. –No, not really,†he said, –Don't mind me. I've been a bit edgy lately.â€
–Really?†Snape said with concern. –Why? Do you feel threatened?â€
–No, it's just... Never mind.â€
–I know your friends don't think much of me. They wouldn't trust me as far as they could throw me, I reckon. But you should know me better than that, Lily.†He moved a bit closer and placed his hands on James' upper arms, which made James highly uncomfortable, especially as Snape gazed tenderly into his eyes. It was all he could do resist squirming out of Snape's grasp.
–You should know that I would never do anything to harm you,†Snape said earnestly, –There is no one in this world that I care about more than you. I will always be your friend, no matter what happens.â€
James nodded and said quietly, –All right.†He took a tiny step back, as Snape released him. Then Snape reached again into his pocket, saying, –What I was going to give you is this...â€
He held out his hand, with a wand-like object laying across his palm. It was smaller than a wand, though-- more like a Muggle writing implement of some sort. James picked it up with dainty fingers, trying not to touch Snape's hand.
–I found it a little while ago amongst my old school things,†Snape explained. –Do you remember? We were studying in the library once, and my quill broke, so you let me borrow this. You said it had belonged to your father and that I'd have to return it. I must have forgotten about it until I found it just now. I thought you'd want it back, since it was your father's.â€
–Thank you,†said James, –That was very thoughtful of you.†It was, he had to admit.
–Well, Lily... If you ever need anything … If there is anything I can do for you... –
–No, there isn't. I don't want anything from you now, except for you to stay away from me.â€
–Fine.â€
–I mean it. It's time we went our separate ways. Don't try to see me or contact me at all anymore. All right?â€
–All right.â€
–Promise me you won't.†That was a brilliant move, James thought. Snape would surely keep a promise to Lily.
Snape's face had the expression of someone who realized he was losing everything he'd ever hoped for. He lowered his head and exhaled. With the heavy reluctance of a wizard agreeing to never use magic again, he said in a low voice, –I promise.â€
Suppressing the urge to smirk with triumph, James said simply, –Good. I think that's all we need to say now.â€
Snape nodded slowly, looking utterly dejected.
–Goodbye then, Severus,†James said with finality, and added graciously, –I wish you well.â€
–Remember what I said, Lily,†Snape said quietly, –I'll always consider myself your friend, no matter what. If there's ever anything I can do for you, just let me know. I'll be around.†He bit his lip, his dark eyes shining. If there was ever a time when James could feel sorry for the fellow, it was now.
–Fine,†James replied, –If there's nothing else then, you can go. I don't need to watch you sniveling.â€
The effect of that last word on Snape was sharp and immediate, like a slap in the face. James thought for a moment that he had given the game away, by using a word so much like his old derogatory nickname for Snape. After his almost flinching reaction had passed, Snape's eyes narrowed slightly, giving James an appraising look. Finally, with a small shake of his head, he said, –It sounds like your friends have been doing a good job of turning you against me. Be careful, though. You may not believe this, but I'm not sure Potter and his lot are completely trustworthy.â€
He took a few steps back, into the shadows, and looked around as he drew his wand. –Goodbye, Lily,†he said gently. –Take care.†Then he Disapparated.
James breathed a sigh of relief. Pleased that he had accomplished his mission successfully, he also felt a little guilty since he had done it in such an underhanded way. Never mind, he told himself. The end justifies the means. Lily would be his now, he felt sure. She would not be stolen away from him by any of Snape's dirty tricks, yet even as he thought this he knew it wasn't true. Snape had not tried anything underhanded-- indeed, by his reaction, he had never even considered using magic on Lily in any way. No matter. He would most likely stay away from her now, as he had promised.
Soon James' skin began to tingle, especially his face and scalp. The bones of his spine and limbs began to ache, as if he were being stretched. The Polyjuice Potion was beginning to wear off, a rather uncomfortable process which James had to endure for about ten minutes. Eventually he felt more or less normal again. He touched his face and ran his fingers through his short hair, patted his body-- where everything was back where it should be-- and loosened the laces of his too-tight shoes.
His suspicion that Lily still might try to meet Snape was confirmed when she showed up a few minutes before one. He was leaning casually against a gravestone and turned to look at her when he heard the small pop of her Apparating. She peered around, spotted him in the dim light and called softly, –Sev?â€
–Lily,†James said coolly, –Well, well. What brings you here?â€
–James?†said Lily, confused.
–Yes. Why, who were you expecting? Severus?â€
–Er... yes, if you must know. Is he here?â€
James took a quick glance around and said, –I don't see him.â€
–What are you doing here?†Lily asked.
–I might ask you the same thing. I thought you weren't going to meet him.â€
–James...†she sighed, –I don't expect you to understand, but I decided that it would be a good idea to meet him anyway...â€
–Why?â€
–James! It's none of your business,†she replied stubbornly, –I don't have to explain myself to you. Besides, you haven't answered my question: What are you doing here? Have you seen him?â€
–No.â€
Lily pursed her lips as she looked around the otherwise deserted graveyard. –Hm. I wonder why he isn't here.â€
–Perhaps he had better things to do, like joining the Death Eaters...â€
–James, that's not funny. Perhaps he saw you here and it put him off.â€
–That wouldn't surprise me. He was always afraid of me, the coward.â€
–Well, who could blame him? You were terrible to him.â€
–And I did apologize to him that one time,†he reminded her. –Anyway, I don't see any sign of him, so... Come on, let's get out of here. I'll walk you home.†With that, he took her by the arm and tried to lead her out of the graveyard, but she hesitated, looking back.
–Unless you want to stay here all night...†said James.
–It's just... Well, it's strange that he's not here,†said Lily. –I thought he really wanted to talk to me... that maybe he needed my help or something. He is my friend, after all.â€
–Well, he isn't here now, so... maybe he isn't really your friend anymore. Come on.â€
After one last look around, Lily reluctantly agreed, and allowed James to accompany her to her house. She was quiet and seemed pensive as they walked along the lonely streets, and she stopped to gaze long and hard down one and then another, as if she were looking for something or someone. After he kissed her goodnight and watched the door close behind her, James hoped that from now on Severus Snape would stay out of her life, and out of her mind.
Beaten and Blown by dreamsnape
Story Notes:
This is my entry into the Terrible Two-Shot Halloween Challenge