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The weekend camping trip was the talk of the upper level Muggle Studies students. However much they had complained and were not allowed using magic, it had stuck with them and gave them something to gloat about to everyone else. They continued to talk about it for the next month or so as gossip was slow at Hogwarts for the moment.
The weather continued to get cooler and the leaves of the trees began to change colour. October was soon under way bringing with it a notice for the date of the first Hogsmeade weekend at the end of the month.
–He wouldn’t,†said a disbelieving James.
–I love Quidditch as much as the next person, but Wood can’t seriously expect to schedule a practice that day after we already practice five times a week,†said Sirius.
The Gryffindor team, minus Wood, had just heard from Alysia that Wood was considering adding an extra practice that day.
–He wants to be sure on our first game,†she explained.
–I wonder what he’d do if we all refused to show up,†Jack wondered.
–Has someone told Brenda?†Julianna asked. –She’ll have his head if they don’t go to Hogsmeade. She’s been planning it forever.â€
Brenda was Wood’s girlfriend and one of the Chasers on the Hufflepuff team. She was also very particular about how much time they spent together and his Quidditch practices were getting in the way of their quality time together.
The Gryffindor team weren’t the only ones concerned about the upcoming Hogsmeade weekend. Gethin and Lily were setting up their plans for the day during one of their many study times in the library. After the camping trip, they had been spending a lot more time together.
–I think I’ll actually throw up if we go to Madam Puddifoot’s†Lily told Gethin.
–Good. I don’t think I can handle that place after Valentine’s Day,†he replied, remembering his last trip there. He wasn’t so sure he was wanted back there anyway.
–Definitely the Three Broomsticks.â€
–And we should check out the Shrieking Shack. You know, they say it’s haunted.â€
Lily nodded. She had heard that too, but lately she had been noticing certain things and only one answer made sense. But she didn’t want to tell anybody.
Matt and Julianna had also made plans for the weekend together. Just like Gethin and Lily, they decided they would avoid Madam Puddifoot’s for obviously sickening reasons.
Ever since camping, they had been nearly inseparable. They spent their time studying and practicing together, going to the basement for a snack, and just talking.
–They have to be the strangest couple,†Amanda said to Marlene one day in the common room after Julianna had left to find Matt.
–Tell me about it,†she replied. –They don’t even hold hands!â€
–I know! How can you form a relationship and not hold hands!â€
–She’s about as un-girly as they come . . . Peter’s more of a girl than she is,†cried Marlene.
–Well, it’s a good thing we have a plan.â€
–We’re nearly complete. All we need now is the right moment, then . . . BAM! She won’t know what hit her.â€
–Now all we need to do in the meantime is find dates to Hogsmeade,†said Amanda sadly.
–How is it that Julianna gets a date -â€
–A smoking hot one -â€
–And she wasn’t even trying.â€
–I know,†Amanda said, –she didn’t even want a boyfriend and now she has one of the most gorgeous boys at Hogwarts.â€
They continued to lament their fate, dejected at Julianna’s good fortune. Meanwhile, four boys were once again locked up in their dormitory concocting plans.
–Pete, it’s up to you, buddy.â€
–Then next time you won’t be alone, Remus.â€
–You know, I was thinking,†said Sirius. –It was awfully close last time with Filch. We were nearly caught.â€
–Nearly.â€
–We need a way to know where he is,†Sirius continued.
–I sense you have a plan,†said James.
Sirius explained his idea to his friends. They all agreed it was a good idea and started brainstorming ways to execute it. When they finally had that plan in place, James said, –Filch won’t know if he’s coming or going.â€
–He’ll have no idea who’s out at night,†said Peter.
–Well he will, he’ll just have no proof of it,†corrected Remus.
–And now for Hogsmeade,†James brought up.
–You know, I was thinking about that,†said Sirius.
–You’re just full of ideas,†James commented.
–Don’t look so surprised . . . anyway, we need dates.â€
–I’m going to go stag,†James emphasized.
–Well I’m already going with Rebecca. I asked her after Muggle Studies last week,†said Remus.
–And I asked Isabelle this morning,†added Peter.
–No one thought to tell me to get a move on? Now I’m depressed,†moped Sirius.
–I hear Marlene’s looking for someone,†Remus offered.
–She’s a cling on. I won’t be able to breathe,†said Sirius.
–Cheer up, mate,†said James. –Amanda’s looking for someone too, and you know what a catch she is. I’m sure she’ll go if you ask her.â€
–You think?†Sirius asked brightening up. –Yeah, she’d be thrilled to go with me. Who wouldn’t?â€
* * *
Before anyone knew it, the last weekend in October had come which also meant that the Hogsmeade trip had arrived. That morning, the student body had woken up to a thick layer of fog on the grounds, and it was so damp out you could bathe in it.
–At least we’ll have some privacy,†said Remus, trying to be optimistic.
–But I want everyone to see me with you,†Amanda whined to Sirius. He had been right in assuming that she would be thrilled.
–We’ll just conveniently bump into people so they can see us,†Sirius replied, grabbing her hand and trying to pacify her.
Now this is what a relationship needs, thought Amanda. She was ecstatic when he took her hand and couldn’t wait to tell Marlene.
Lily was already seated with Julianna for breakfast when she saw Amanda walk in with Sirius. She was pleased to see how happy she was, but at the same time she couldn’t get away from the fact that it was Black, Potter’s best friend. That made Black just as much the enemy as Potter.
–Ew, guys, not while I’m eating,†said a nauseated Julianna.
–We’re only holding hands,†argued Amanda, but pleased that they were noticed.
–Yeah, and Sirius is looking at you like you’re a cauldron cake.†Julianna got up from the table and left her half-eaten stack of waffles behind.
Somewhere on her way back to the Gryffindor Tower she came across Matt who was heading down for a late breakfast.
–If you ever look at me like that, I swear I’ll punch you,†she warned him.
–Good morning to you, too.â€
–Just look at Amanda and Sirius and you’ll know what I mean,†she said, continuing on her way.
–I’ll see you later then,†he called after her.
When Matt walked into the Great Hall, he took note of Sirius’ looks at Amanda. They met to go to Hogsmeade a little while later, and Matt immediately commented, –If I ever give you a look like that, I give you my permission to punch me.â€
–Sickening, isn’t it?†she replied.
–I’ll say,†Lily said, coming up from behind with Gethin.
–That goes for you too,†Julianna said to the pair of them. –But I think I’ll punch you directly, Gethin.â€
–Yes ma’am,†he said, saluting her. Then he took Lily and they made their way to the village.
–What a strange one,†Gethin said, shaking his head.
–She means well. Anyway, would you like to look that ridiculous?†she asked him, nodding at the blur in the fog ahead of them.
–Only if you call me Snookums,†he joked. Lily snorted in reply.
Up ahead, Sirius and Amanda were holding hands and were having a serious conversation.
–So where should we go,†asked Sirius.
–I hear there’s the most lovely tea room, perfect for privacy,†answered Amanda.
–Wherever you are is perfect enough for me,†gushed Sirius.
Amanda blushed deeply. She was absurdly pleased with herself and her current situation. She could only think of one thing that wold make it even better . . .
–How long have they been like that?†asked Lily when she walked into the common room at the end of the day.
–They were like that before dinner,†said Peter.
James made retching noises when he walked in fifteen minutes later with Remus and Julianna.
–Grow up, Potter,†said Lily, rolling her eyes.
–How -†started Julianna.
–Since some time before dinner,†Lily answered.
–They’ll have to surface some time for air,†James commented.
–They’re not whales!†said Lily, slightly disgusted.
–Anyone for a spot of football,†Julianna said suddenly, eager to escape.
–Anything to get away from that,†said James, standing up at once.
–I’m meeting Sev in the library,†said Lily, unaware of the stony look on James’ face.
–I think Rebecca might fancy a stroll,†Remus replied, joining the others at the portrait hole.
Everyone made their way to their various destinations, keen to avoid their common room. When it was nearly nine o’clock, they all returned to find that Sirius and Amanda hadn’t moved.
–They’re still at it?†cried Julianna.
–Atta boy, Sirius,†said James, unsure of what else to say.
–How can two people possibly snog for that long?†exclaimed Lily.
They all went to sit down, careful to keep a good distance from them.
–Hey, watch out, Jules. Wouldn’t want you to slip in a puddle of saliva,†James joked, helping her into her seat.
–Thanks. I appreciate you concern,†she said, joining in. –I can practically see their mush oozing right now. Be careful, wouldn’t want you to catch anything from it.â€
–Too. Much. Influence,†Lily said as they burst out laughing.
–Maybe . . . Madam Pomfrey . . . has . . . a cure . . . for . . . swollen lips!†James said between fits of laughter.
–No . . . no, I’ve got it . . . Lily can . . . whip us up a . . . a potion . . . a potion for . . . for . . . dying whales,†laughed Julianna. But they were so overcome with merriment that they hadn’t noticed she had left for the dormitory along with most of the other students.
–There’s a reason they call it love sick,†said James.
–Yeah, it’s sickening,†replied Julianna, still bent double from laughter.
–No . . . it’s puppy love,†cried James, unable to control himself at his joke. Julianna didn’t get the joke, but went into a renewed state of laughter seeing how James was.
–Phew . . . can’t breathe,†she said.
–Neither can they,†he joked.
–No . . . side . . . haha . . . hurts,†she said, now clutching the stitch in her side.
It took them a good five minutes before their roars of laughter subsided and they were finally able to sit in relative peace. They then sat there watching the fire die down.
–I don’t know how they can still be at it,†wondered James.
–I’ll bet it’s the longest kiss Hogwarts has ever seen,†commented Julianna.
–Still . . .â€
Julianna sat there watching James for a while when a thought came to her. She had seen James date other girls. In fact, he often bragged about the quantity of dates he’s had. Mostly for a single date, but a date nonetheless. But how often had they ended with a kiss? While she didn’t go with him to his dates for obvious reasons, she wasn’t sure how many of them he had actually kissed. Surely he would brag about each and every one of them like Sirius had. But James hadn’t.
–James, have you had your first kiss?†Julianna asked suddenly, aware of how awkward the following conversation was sure to be.
He was caught off guard and began to blush before shaking his head and answering with a timid, –No.â€
–Why ever not?†she asked rather bluntly.
It was just as awkward having this conversation as Julianna though, especially while Sirius sat there snogging Amanda next to them. In the end James supposed they were too absorbed in themselves to pay attention, so he answered, –It never felt right.â€
Julianna gave him a that’s-not-an-answer look.
–I always thought I’d wait for someone special to have it with,†he said awkwardly. –I’d rather not go snogging every girl I’ve dated and make it so commonplace that it’s never special.â€
–Fair enough.â€
–Have you gone and kissed all the guys you’ve gone out with? I didn’t think so . . . He must be pretty special,†James commented suddenly.
It was Julianna’s turn to be caught off guard. She gave him a failed attempt at a look of confusion.
–Come off it, Jules. I can see it.â€
–See what?â€
–The looks you give him . . . no, I don’t mean one’s that make you nauseous. When you look at Matt, all I see is complete respect and acceptance. You enjoy his company for what it is and don’t expect anything in return.â€
She didn’t know what to say, and her silence dragged on. Sure she respected him, but she respected a lot of people. Acceptance was basically the same thing. And as with anyone you respected and accepted, of course you would enjoy their company. How could James see anything beyond that? Pretty special indeed.
James let her mull over his words in silence as they waited to see if the kissing couple would soon separate for the night. When it appeared they wouldn’t, James and Julianna bade each other a good night a headed for their respective dormitories.
–Finally calmed down, have you?†asked Lily quietly. Marlene was already in bed asleep. –Are they still at it?â€
Before Julianna could so much as think the answer, she began quietly telling Lily what James had just said and was now waiting for her to agree that James must have had one too many butterbeers today.
However, Lily remained silent. She was impressed at how perceptive Potter had been toward feelings other than his own. Even now she was regretting that kiss goodnight with Gethin thinking how empty it had actually been.
Curse Potter for making me think this, she thought. He was supposed to be the hopelessly immature one while she was the sensible one. He was the one who dated just about every girl he met while she waited for the right ones. He made sure to drop them within a week or two while she would wait it through and have a relationship that lasted. Who was Potter, then, to go giving Julianna good advice? How could he have noticed what she had as well?
–For once,†she said hesitantly, –I think Potter’s right.â€
–Come again?†Surely Julianna had heard wrong.
–You have a lot of respect for him. It looks like you really like him.â€
Julianna began to protest.
–Look at you now,†Lily went on. –The Julianna I know would never have actually sought out to talk about her feelings. She would have never been so unsure. You’re confused because these are some new feelings and you don’t know what to do about it.â€
–The fact that I respect people isn’t something new and confusing for me,†Julianna argued.
–Wake up, Julie. This isn’t just about respect anymore. It may have only been two months, but I think you really care about him and have come to value his companionship. I don’t know if it is love, but it’s more than whatever you think it is.â€
Lily then tugged the curtains of her four poster bed and, like James, left Julianna to think about things.
* * *
–She’s still sleeping. I don’t think she’s feeling well. She must have eaten something funny at dinner last night,†said Lily.
It was lunch time on the Sunday, the day after Hogsmeade. Matt had asked Lily about Julianna, but was disappointed.
Lily had woken up as usual: groggy. She ambled about getting ready. It wasn’t until she returned after breakfast, then, that she noticed the curtains were still closed around Julianna’s bed. Making sure she was alright, Lily peaked in and found that she was still lying in bed.
No jog? Lily questioned. Julianna hadn’t missed a day of jogging since that first Quidditch match in third year except for that one time she was really sick last year.
She seemed fine last night, thought Lily. But was she? Maybe that talk was a little too much for her after all.
Now it was lunch and Lily had the unfortunate job of informing Matt that she wasn’t there because of him. Splendid.
–Oh, well tell her I hope she feels better,†Matt told her.
–Jules is sick?†James asked, sitting down in the Great Hall next to Lily.
–What does it matter to you?†Lily said rather rudely. She couldn’t wait to find a new seat after seeing what he and Black were doing to a student’s food at breakfast.
–In case you haven’t noticed, I’m one of her friends too,†James retorted.
–You started it with that talk of yours last night. I just agreed. Why don’t you go ask her what’s up yourself,†Lily said in a huff. Then she got up and stormed to the other end of the Gryffindor table and ate her lunch silently.
Later while Lily was on her way to meet Gethin, Sirius and Amanda approached her. It looked as though their hands were glued to each other’s.
–Lily, is Julianna alright?†Amanda asked, genuinely concerned. –We just saw James and he told us she’s still up in her bed.â€
–Since when did he become James?†Lily exclaimed. Most people had learned to refer to him strictly as ‘Potter’ when in her presence. Julianna couldn’t kick the habit.
–Touchy,†Sirius whispered to Amanda.
–Don’t you start with me,†Lily warned.
–What has he done?â€
–Yeah. What have I done?â€
–It’s your best friend that made her like this with his perceptive chat. Go ask him.†And she stormed off.
Lily was now in a foul mood. She was rotten company with Gethin. In fact, she was so displeasing that he was forced to make an excuse to get away, wondering what he had done. She even caused the first- and second-years to shy away from her, but she couldn’t be troubled.
At dinner, Matt was back at her wondering how Julianna was faring. It took all of her effort not to snap at him for badgering her and not leaving her alone. It was after this that she thought it would be the safest for the student body if she retired to her dormitory.
For the next week, both Lily and Julianna deliberately sought solitude. They seemed barely conscious during their lessons, and during meal time they hardly ate. It became a common theory that someone had turned them into Inferi. The two hadn’t spoken to anyone and were starting to affect those closer to them.
When Friday evening finally came around, Amanda and Marlene were waiting for them in their dormitory. They could have been hoping to resurrect their recently forgotten girl’s night if it wasn’t for the look on their faces. Something had to be done; everyone was fed up with them.
–If one of you doesn’t talk soon, I’m going to fix Julianna’s face with makeup,†threatened Marlene. She meant business.
–What’s wrong with the two of you? Neither of you has spoken all week. The last time Lily did, she nearly bit my head off,†said Amanda.
–Fine. Great.â€
–Never better. Fantastic.â€
–Save it,†said Marlene. –Lily, the sooner you talk, the better it’ll be.â€
–I really have no idea, but it all started with her being confused†replied Lily, pointing at Julianna.
–James said stuff, then I asked Lily, now I’m confused and I’m trying to figure it out,†Julianna said, finally speaking. –It’s no big deal.â€
–That’s not an answer,†said Marlene.
–It’s a start,†Amanda conceded. –Let’s just go ask Potter what this is about.†The two left Lily and Julianna behind.
–What’s wrong with me?†asked Julianna, looking at Lily.
–I think you know,†she answered. –You don’t need me to tell you . . . Have you not spoken to him all week?â€
Julianna nodded her head, looking a little guilty.
–He couldn’t stop asking about you on Sunday. That’s a good sign,†offered Lily, trying to cheer her up.
–Everything’s such a mess,†said Julianna, covering her face. Why did simple things have to feel so complicated?
They sat in silence for a while before Lily spoke up, saying, –Maybe you should go talk to him before any more damage is done.â€
They left for the common room, not wanting to be caged alone with Marlene and Amanda when they returned. However, when they got there they saw Amanda was seated in a chair for one with Sirius surrounded by his three friends and Marlene.
The group called them over, but Julianna conveniently said, –I need a cup of tea,†and headed for the kitchen.
–She speaks,†said James, raising his arms in triumph.
Lily shot him a look before reluctantly sitting down as far away from Potter as she could.
–Any luck?†asked Amanda.
–I think we should just let her be,†said Lily.
–We can’t let her be, we have Quidditch,†cried James. –Our first match is against Slytherin a week Saturday!â€
–I don’t think I can handle losing to them - not after last year,†said Sirius.
–Yes, well, we all know who’s fault that is,†Lily said, glaring at Potter and Black.
–Is she eating yet?†asked Peter.
–What does that have anything to do with this,†Marlene said. James had filled them in about everything, although he chose to keep his first kiss thing a secret.
–Pete has this theory -†Sirius began.
–It’s not a theory!†interrupted Peter.
–Alright, alright. He’s noticed that her eating habits are connected to her emotions and how she’s doing,†said Sirius.
–That’s absurd,†argued Lily.
–I don’t know, Evans,†said James. –She’s been off all week and has barely touched a thing.â€
–Oh please, Potter. It’s much more complicated than that,†Lily countered. Then she stood up and decided to go to bed early.
–She wasn’t the nicest to Gethin and has been ignoring him all week,†Amanda explained.
–Excellent,†said James, perking up. –I always thought he was a bit of a prick.â€
–James has a thing for Evans,†Sirius whispered to Amanda and Marlene.
–No!†exclaimed Marlene.
–Like that’ll ever fly,†Amanda commented.
–What do you mean?†asked Sirius. –They’re perfect for each other. They have a lot in common: they’re both fiery and temperamental, they can’t stand each other, Julianna’s one of their best friends who’s also feisty, and they hate each other’s guts.â€
–A match made in paradise,†Remus commented dryly.
James was blissfully unaware of the conversation around him. He had gone into a daydream in which Lily didn’t hate him. When he finally snapped out of it, Sirius and Amanda had begun snogging again, and Remus and Peter had started a game of Exploding Snap with Marlene. Not knowing what to do, he decided that a nice snack would be just the ticket.
When he turned the corner into the next corridor after exiting the portrait hole, he saw Julianna looking out the window toward the lake.
James wasn’t sure what he should do. He admitted that it was partially his fault for bringing the topic up in the first place. As such he didn’t think confronting her would be the best idea - she had remained silent all through their Quidditch practices as well. He decided that he would turn around and pretend not to have seen her, but as fate had it, she noticed his movement. He had no choice now but to go up to her.
–Still deciding on peppermint or chamomile?†he asked, remembering she had left to get tea. There was nothing controversial in that.
Julianna pulled a face and said, –You know I don’t like either.â€
–Ha ha, got you to speak,†he exclaimed. Then he noticed the look on her face when she returned her gaze to the lake.
Julianna didn’t cry, not in all the years James had known her. Not when she got mud in her mouth from the pies they made, not when she fell climbing into their tree fort, not when her cat died, not for anything. Yet here she was, looking like she was on the verge of tears. James couldn’t walk away now without trying to help her.
–Listen, Jules,†he began. –I was a prat. I shouldn’t have brought it up last week. I won’t say I didn’t mean it because I believe it’s absolutely true, but I didn’t mean to make you so miserable.â€
–I’m not miserable, I’m confused,†she said with a small smile. Of course James would blame himself.
–Could have fooled me,†he mumbled.
Julianna sighed before speaking. –You just got me thinking. I’m rubbish at feelings and the more I thought, the more I got confused, and it frightened me.â€
–Then don’t think,†he said, pulling her into a hug to comfort her.
–What should I do?†Julianna willingly remained in the embrace and buried her face in his shoulder.
–Do what you do best and go with the flow,†he said, holding her tighter. –Forget what I said and fight back. We need one of our top Chasers in good form next Saturday.â€
Julianna laughed. She was grateful for the solid foundation he was providing at the moment.
Giving her one last squeeze, James broke away and pulled something out of his pocket. It was a piece of parchment. He pointed and muttered something, and then black ink began to form on the page.
–Just a little something we came up with,†was all he said by way of explaining. –Now, it looks as though Matt is pacing back and forth in the corridor by the kitchen . . . And by the way, mum says she’s expecting a visit from you and Evans over the holidays. Apparently she was told from a certain neighbour that she’ll be over.â€
Noting the look of sheer joy on his face, Julianna warned, –Don’t tell her or she won’t come.†Then she headed off to the kitchen.
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Out of the Blue by Secret Marauder 90
Chapter Notes: A Hogsmeade weekend comes up, whaling ensues, and Julianna becomes confused after a heartfelt talk with James.
Chapter Endnotes: Hope you enjoyed this one. I swear the James/Lily thing will come eventually. Please review!