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James was pacing back and forth in the kitchen of his house, running his hands through his hair and making it stand on end more than usual. He didn’t know what to do about his son and was trying to figure it out with Lily and Remus.
Last night when they’d returned from Diagon Alley, James had been too upset to deal with Harry and simply sent him to his room for the rest of the night with no dinner. When he looked back on that action, James realized he had become his father, for he never would have made that choice of punishment earlier in his life. It was a thought that both terrified him and made him chuckle, but he was avoiding the subject now.
–What do we do?†cried James, stopping in front of the two to look at them. He looked a little comical with his hair standing out at strange angles.
–Relax, Prongs. It’s not that bad,†said Remus, sipping his tea.
–Well how did your parents deal with you? This is exactly the same sort of thing you would have done, but you seem to have turned out fine,†said Lily. Her husband getting so worked up was rather amusing - ironic in a way.
–Gee, thanks,†James responded dully.
–Really, mate. Just have some tea and calm down,†said Remus, cupping his beaker with his hands to warm them up. –If I remember correctly, we tried the same thing but had less success. You and Sirius even attempted it several times after. You should be congratulating him on his success!â€
–I will not calm down! This has nothing to do with us and you bloody well know it,†said James.
–James, really. Just punish him and move on,†said Lily. She was upset herself, but he was blowing this quite out of proportion now.
–But that’s the problem! I’ve tried speaking with him, I’ve tried yelling at him, I’ve taken away his broom and locked it up, but he’s managed to pick the lock. I’ve grounded him, I’ve deprived his of desserts, of dinner. I’ve tried to give him some responsibilities like chores and taking care of Dani and Gareth, but nothing seems to work! I’ve even tried bribing the boy but it never works out!†James cried frantically. He had begun pacing again, threatening to wear a track into the hardwood.
Lily smiled to herself. There was something amusing about the way her husband was fretting. He hadn’t seemed to realize that he was as much of a terror in his youth as their son Harry was now. But she had put up with James for years and figured it was about time he sorted it out.
–I’m sorry I can’t be of more help to you, Prongs. I don’t have a child or the experience with punishing them,†said Remus. Right now he was rather grateful for that after how Harry seemed to be turning out.
–Sure, but you’re a godfather. Surely you’ve -†James had suddenly stopped, a smile beginning to form which alarmed the two seated in front of him.
–James . . . honey, what’s -†started Lily.
–That’s it,†James said quietly to himself, the smile growing more. Looking at Remus, he said, –Moony, you’re a godfather.â€
–Well spotted,†he answered sarcastically. What was up with James?
–Exactly! Harry has a godfather. Let him sort this out - he has experience.â€
–James, I don’t think letting Sirius -†Lily began.
Just then, the grate of the fireplace in the kitchen turned green in a sudden burst of flames. Out of the flames hung Sirius’ head, a look of distress on his face.
–Let Sirius what?†he asked, taking in those in the room.
–Padfoot, just the man I wanted to see,†said James happily, wondering how he should broach the subject.
–You sound far too chipper for it to be anything good,†replied Sirius, wincing at something unseen to the occupants of the Potters’ kitchen.
–How have you been, Sirius?†asked Lily. –It’s been a while since we’ve seen you. Why don’t you come over for a spot of tea now?â€
–I’m afraid I’m rather busy at the moment,†he said distractedly. –Moony - when did you get here?â€
–About an hour ago,†Remus answered dully. –Where’ve you been?â€
–I’ve had my own . . . er . . . issues to deal with,†said Sirius’ head, still distracted. Raising his voice, he added, –Some people just need to be punished when they’ve done something wrong.â€
–No need to shout, mate - we’re right here,†said Remus. What was wrong with his friends? First James, and now Sirius.
–And speaking of punishment,†James started smoothly, –I have a rather sensitive matter I need you to fulfill your duty to help rectify.â€
Sirius had turned his head to address something on his end and didn’t catch James’ rather well-worded sentence. Turning back to face everyone, he said quite innocently, –I’m sorry, I didn’t catch that.â€
–Sirius, is something wrong? Back at home? Do you want me to come over and help?†asked Lily. She was concerned for his well-being. They all knew what things could get like, after all.
–Oh, no. Nothing’s the matter,†he said, his face unconvincing as he winced again. There was also a sound coming from his end.
–Are you sure, Padfoot?†said Remus.
–Really, it would be no trouble. We could be there in a moment,†said James, ready to aid his best mate.
–I do appreciate the offer, but right now I . . .†responded Sirius, cutting off his sentence with another wince. –Sorry, but I don’t think having guests over at the moment would be a wise idea - it’ll only make Emily worse.â€
James nodded at him while Lily smiled in sympathy. They knew only too well what Sirius was going through. However, Remus merely remained still, really unsure what to do.
–I don’t know how you do it, Padfoot,†said Remus, shaking his head slightly. –Any of you.â€
–It’s no trip to a Quidditch match, let me tell you,†he replied.
–Then why did you go ahead and do it?†asked Lily. She couldn’t understand what Sirius was going on about. It wasn’t that bad.
–Because you two make it look so bloody easy,†Sirius replied, getting worked up. –I tried the whole marriage thing, and that didn’t work out. Utter disaster, in fact. But you guys were so happy with Harry and Dani that when you knew about Gareth . . . well, I thought I’d give it a whirl.â€
–And you decided to adopt a witch to raise up all on your own without the aid of a spouse,†said Remus in a deadpanned voice.
–Yes,†said Sirius, as if there were no other answer out there. –Having my own wasn’t going to happen, so I’m helping out someone who can’t help themselves or their situation.â€
–Yes, yes, very noble, but all by yourself?†asked James. He loved his kids, but he couldn’t imagine raising them without Lily’s help throughout.
–I’ll have you know I love Emily to pieces and wouldn’t change her for anything,†Sirius responded defiantly, his voice a touch louder than was necessary.
–I’m not saying you should!†said James, running his hand through his hair.
–Don’t worry about him, Padfoot. Prongs is having a parental crisis at the moment,†said Remus, sipping more tea and glad he didn’t have any children to deal with.
–He’s having a parental crisis? You want to bet on that?†cried Sirius. He couldn’t believe someone was having a worse time at it than him.
–Five galleons,†said Remus, taking him seriously.
–Five? No - ten,†corrected James, a glint forming in his eyes.
–Ten it is,†replied Sirius, his own grey eyes matching James’ glint.
–I can’t believe you’re betting on who’s having a worse time right now! These are our children we’re talking about!†said Lily, but more for the principle of the thing. She secretly believed Sirius would win knowing Emily’s history of trouble.
–You go first, Prongs,†said Sirius, nodding at him, daring him.
–Well, that godson of yours -†began James.
–You mean your son?†interrupted Sirius.
–Yes . . . him,†James continued, unimpressed. –While we were in Diagon Alley yesterday getting supplies for Harry and Dani -â€
–Oh, did she get her letter, then?†Sirius interrupted again. He had been very busy lately, his hands tied with Emily, and so he hadn’t heard from his friends in a little while, though they frequently owled him.
–Yes. She -â€
–How is she? Is she excited? Of course she is - she’s not one to get nervous. She’s a lot like you, James, beyond your hair and eyes. Dani’s so enthusiastic about everything, only she has Lily’s common sense,†said Sirius, rambling on in his typical fashion.
–An absolutely splendid child,†said Remus, proud of his goddaughter.
–Yes - she’s absolutely spiffing,†James commented impatiently. –But -â€
–And she doesn’t get into nearly the same trouble as her brother,†added Remus, furthering Sirius’ cause but also steering things back to James.
–Exactly,†Sirius continued. –He’s such a troublemaker, that boy. Although it’s not too surprising seeing who his father and godfather are. And when he sent us those toilet seats last year with their signatures on them, I couldn’t be any prouder.â€
–The Weasley twins are full of ideas,†agreed Remus. –And Harry makes sure Ron isn’t too well-behaved. Dumbledore knows a little mischief never hurt anyone.â€
–I seem to recall an incident back in sixth year - let’s call it mischief, shall we? - that would have caused harm were it not for -†said Lily, playing devil’s advocate.
–Point taken,†said James. He was getting annoyed that the conversation had digressed, but he knew they were doing it on purpose. If he showed his frustration they would only steer it further away. Better to just play along.
–Anyway, you were saying, James?†prompted Sirius, satisfied with his response and decided it was time to continue.
–Oh . . . Harry went off in search of his friends while I took Dani to get fit for robes, and he was to meet us at Florean’s in an hour. Only he didn’t. Do you know where that wayward boy went?â€
–I assume you’ll be telling me, and that it wasn’t to check out that new Firebolt,†answered Sirius, wincing at a sound.
Evidently the occupants of the Potters’ kitchen heard it too, because Remus asked, –What was that?â€
–Emily. Continue, James.â€
–He went to Knockturn Alley!â€
–And?â€
–Knockturn Alley!â€
–Your point?â€
–What do you mean, ‘what’s my point’? It’s Knockturn Alley!†James cried for the third time.
–Mate, I don’t see what your problem is. We tried getting in there when we were his age, remember? Only we had less success. Really, as a Marauder, you should be congratulating him.â€
–That’s what I said!†cried Remus.
–He is not a fellow Marauder! I am his father! And that’s different - we never actually made it in.â€
–Ah, but we tried - many times,†Sirius reminded him.
–Yeah, well my father made sure we didn’t,†said James somewhat bitterly. –But we never attempted to purchase an item there, we just wanted to sneak in!â€
–If we made it as far as he did, we would have,†said Remus.
–That’s beside the point! They tried to buy a dark artifact!†cried James. Then he mumbled, –Merlin, I need a cup of tea.â€
James pointed his wand at the kettle and proceeded to make his tea. When he had finished, he sat down beside Lily, hoping the combination of tea, sitting, and being near his wife would help calm him down.
–What you need is something stronger. Man up, Prongs,†said Sirius.
–We’re not twenty anymore, Padfoot,†commented James.
–I guess not. If we were, you’d be knocking up Lily, eh?â€
–No, the deed was done by the time I was twenty,†corrected Lily. She gave her husband a sly smile after he gave her a you’re-not-helping look.
–So that’s it? You’re upset because he did what you couldn’t . . . sorry, I meant that he disobeyed. You don’t like that he didn’t do as he was told,†said Sirius, making sure that was it.
–Honestly, Prongs, I don’t see what the big deal is. It’s like Lily said, just punish him and move on,†said Remus.
–She said that?†asked Sirius, his floating head looking at her. –Well there you go - if your wife things it’s no big deal, go with it.â€
–Thank you, Sirius,†replied Lily.
–Yeah, thanks for siding with her over your best mate,†grumbled James.
–Actually, I was under the impression that this was a competition, so naturally I wouldn’t side with you,†Sirius told him cheekily.
–Either way, I still need you to act godfather and speak with him. Maybe he’ll listen to you,†said James.
–Because I’m such a charmer, right?†replied Sirius, giving them a grin that he thought looked charming.
–Oh yes - I’m practically swooning right now,†said Remus in a deadpanned voice.
–Ha ha,†Sirius replied sarcastically. –Just because your godchild is a walk in the park . . .â€
–Maybe I’m just the better godfather,†Remus argued good-naturedly.
–One time! I nearly drop him one time and I’m bloody Grindelwald!â€
James was about to make a cheeky comment when they all heard someone calling for Lily. The voice got louder as it approached the kitchen, and in came Gareth.
–Mummy, Harry’s doing that thing again!†he cried.
–Thing? What thing?†Sirius asked Remus, but Remus only shook his head and shrugged.
–Mummy, make him stop! I don’t like it and he won’t stop!†Gareth continued to whine.
Lily pulled him close to calm him down. –Why don’t you stay here for a while, hmm? You can let Dad or Uncle Remus get you a drink while I go speak with your brother.â€
She left and Sirius took the time to ask him, –Hey Gareth, what thing was Harry doing?†He was really interested to know.
–He was flipping his eyes out again,†said Gareth, making a pout not as refined as that of his sister’s.
–So he can do it. I knew he’d get it,†Sirius said to himself proudly. He had taught him a little while back how to flip his eyelid to freak people out. Then he said apologetically, –Sorry, buddy. That’s my fault - I taught him that one. But we’ll have to work on that pout of yours. It holds promise, though.â€
–About that pout,†said James, rounding on him. He let Remus finish preparing the cocoa for Gareth to say, –How is it that my eleven-year-old daughter can already manipulate people with one look? I know I sure didn’t teach her to. Moony?â€
–Not me. But I have experienced this look and must admit I’m curious as to its origins,†replied Remus, setting down the cocoa for Gareth with a few biscuits.
–Where indeed,†commented Sirius, affecting a look of innocence.
James opened his mouth to respond but was cut off when Gareth asked, –Dad, when’s Petey coming back?â€
–Son - your godfather’s on his honeymoon. Your guess is as good as mine.â€
–A Marauder, right to the end,†said Remus with a grin.
–Honey, your brother promised he won’t do it again,†said Lily, re-entering the kitchen. –Why don’t you take your snack and join your sister. Perhaps she’ll play a game of Exploding Snap if you ask nicely.â€
Gareth left, carefully carrying his snack so as not to spill it. When they were sure he was gone, James said, –He promised last time, too.â€
–Fine - I’ll have a word with him,†sighed Sirius, recognizing defeat.
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The Trouble With Kids . . . by Secret Marauder 90
Chapter Notes: The following day, James wonders how to deal with Harry. Sirius and Remus are no help in the matter, and Lily sides with them.
Chapter Endnotes: Not much longer to go! Please review!