SNAPE AND HIS ULTIMATE NIGHTMARE
Severus Snape stood rigidly by his luggage filled cart staring ahead at the unmoving train at platform nine and three quarters. His hand unconsciously smoothed back medium length, semi-greasy black hair as he noticed other children farewelling family and boarding the train. Distastefully, he followed suit, walking with a stride of confidence that disguised his feelings. Truth be told, he wasn’t at all happy about starting his first year at Hogwarts. He was smart enough to learn the essentials of wizarding magic at home. However, law required his attendance to a magical school.
Passing voices caught his attention as he passed through the corridor, –I say Mildred, I do hope I get into Hufflepuff…â€
Snape grimaced. Hopefully he wouldn’t have to put up with too much insanity at this school. If all went well, he would keep to himself for the whole seven years without disturbance.
As luck would have it, all the compartments seemed to be filled. His last option was to the far end of the now moving train, and there were already four boys within…
The compartment was filled with laughter that abruptly ceased with Snape’s arrival. Feeling indignant and not wanting to complicate life with inconvenient acquaintances, Snape moved to a seat furthest from the lot, hardly even glancing their way.
All eyes were locked on him.
‘So, who are you?’ Asked an obviously arrogant youth of Snape’s age.
Snape chose to pretend he had not been spoken to.
‘Do you think he’s deaf?’ Asked another boy, with dark blond hair.
Snape’s jaw tightened. Yet he was certain that if he kept silent they would give up any attempt at superficial communication shortly.
He was wrong.
‘No Lupin, I think he’s ignoring us.’ The boy who had just spoken strode over to the seat opposite Snape.
Fantastic, thought Snape sarcastically.
‘Hey, I’m Sirius. Are you feeling ok?’ He was obviously trying to be kind, but Snape had a bad feeling about this person.
‘Just Peachy.’ He managed to mutter.
Snape noticed a fleeting exchange of glances between the four boys. He grew increasingly uncomfortable. ‘And I would appreciate if you all just let me be.’ He snapped.
Couldn’t they take a hint?
The four boys re-huddled and began whispering feverishly.
Snape relaxed a little. At least they were decent enough to keep quiet. However, he was utterly shocked when they sprang out suddenly and pointed their wands toward him.
‘What the…?’ Snape could hardly form coherent thoughts before he was hit with a series of bright lights.
Laughter exploded around him. ‘What did you do to me!’ he demanded.
A mousy boy handed him a mirror before dropping to the floor in a fit of chortles and clasping his stomach simultaneously.
Snape snatched the object and swiftly positioned it in front of his face.
‘Argh!’ He screamed. On his pasty visage were a number of large red kiss prints including bold writing on his forehead reading –I Love Hugsâ€.
Trembling, Snape raised his wand at the unconcerned, still hysterical, boys. ‘Petrificus Totalus!’
All bodies instantly froze and all noise ceased.
‘Finally, some peace and quiet.’
Suddenly the compartment door swung open and Snape leaped with fright.
‘What’s going on here?’ A sly looking blond boy looked on at the scene in front of him but to Snape’s relief he looked more amused than angry.
Turning to Snape he asked, ‘Did you do this?’
Snape merely nodded.
‘Well, well, well boys.‘ He indicated to some other people behind him. ‘Looks like we’ve had our job done for us.’
Snape didn’t like the sound of the boy’s voice. Neither did he feel comfortable in his presence. The boy was obviously from a well-to-do family. He shone with the radiance of newly washed and overly brushed tendrils of hair and his robes looked crisp and new. His whole body was so well groomed that even his hands looked manicured. Who was this person?
‘Lucius Malfoy,’ he said, extending a pristine hand. Snape had to withhold his distaste with tight control whilst offering his chaffed hand in return. The act was entirely out of order for his character, but not wanting to elicit further kiss prints, he reluctantly granted the gesture.
‘Excellent. Now, you’ll obviously be joining us in our compartment- oh there’s no need to worry,’ he added upon seeing Snape’s expression. ‘We are a perfectly civilised lot. At noon Narcissa will provide us with tea and biscuits; Goyle with napkins and then we shall discuss the latest novels we’re reading. Dolohov is currently studying New Ingredients; we plan on creating a cooking club at school as extra curriculum- and I am half way through reading Right Essentials, so our common room will always smell fresh.’
Snape felt his jaw drop. Lucius actually seemed serious about this. His whole face beamed with excitement and his friends were nodding with similar vigour. Who were these people?
Surely they weren’t seriously considering making him join them?
Seeing his reluctance, Lucius became serious. ‘Of course, if you decline my offer, there will be consequences. Narcissa darling, the ceremonial wand please.’
‘I’ll come!’ Snape was not about to see himself with a lifetime supply of herbal essence in his hair or whatever spell he had in mind. Surely they mustn’t be too bad to associate with…
Lucius and his gang grinned with delight. ‘Fantastic! We’re going to have so much fun. Come along, we have to think up a name for our hang. Nott already thought up Dreadful Muffin Eaters, but I don’t think it has the right sound to it. We need something more enticing than –Dreadfulâ€. It almost seems to place emphasis on the muffins being dreadful and God forbid we should eat ungratifying muffins…’
Snape tuned out of the constant blabber that was to him as tasteful as the playing of an out of tune instrument.
What had he gotten himself into?
-
SNAPE PUTS ON THE SORTING HAT
If you don’t know where you’re at
Then put on a hat!
The Sorting hat finished it’s song and the Hall exploded into applause.
From behind the great wooden doors, Snape could hear the commotion. Had he remembered to pack earmuffs?
‘I just know I’m going to be in Slytherin.’ Stated Lucius, who was preening beside him. ‘What about you Snapey?’
Snape was about to answer, but paused in the act. ‘What did you call me?’
‘Snapey.’
‘My name is Severus.’ His voice was severe.
‘…Right, whatever.’
‘Alright everyone, follow me!’ Shouted a thin man with a pointed face that made him look, Snape observed, as though he had a constant cramp up his backside.
In no time the huddle of new first years were at the front of the hall awaiting the unknown.
‘Abenzale, Karen!’
‘Ravenclaw!’
Snape felt his ears throb. His sensitive ears had never encountered such an explosion of noise. He began to pray the event would be swift.
‘Black, Narcissa!’
‘Slytherin!’
Lucius squealed and raised his hands high above his head to clap as loudly as possible. Snape edged away slightly.
Eventually all the students had their fate dictated. The four boys who he had met in the first compartment- James Potter, Sirius Black, Peter Pettigrew and Remus Lupin- had all entered Gryffindor. That in itself made the proud House unattractive.
Lucius Malfoy was placed in his favoured House. ‘Yes, yes!’ He cried.
Snape abstained from groaning at his own misfortune at being in association with such a bothersome lad for the hundredth time that day. His name was called out next.
‘Snape, Severus!’
‘Go Snapey!’
Teeth gritted together as he approached the hat. He placed it over his head.
‘HMMM, INTERESTING, VERY INTERESTING. I FEEL STRONG EMOTIONS AT PLAY. ANGER? FRUSTRATION? A NEED TO OBLITERATE SOMEBODY NEAR YOU?’’
Boy, the hat sure could read minds, Snape observed.
‘What’s taking so long Snivellus?’ Came a voice from the silence. Suddenly there was a murmur of laughter throughout the Hall.
Snape’s lids fluttered open and his gaze zoomed to the perpetrator. It was that insolent playboy Sirius. Snape’s nostrils fumed, and his mind buzzed. How dare those amateurs humiliate him so arrogantly in front of the entire school?
Something within Snape’s mind snapped. He couldn’t remove his eyes from Sirius’ laughing face and that of the boy beside him; James. They promised a future of harassment and trouble. Snape had to keep an eye on them, and peering down at them, made a vow of revenge.
Just then a voice boomed inexorably in his already aching ears.
SLYTHERIN!
The Slytherin table erupted into cheers. At least, Snape could see their reaction because he certainly couldn’t hear it.
Blasted eardrums!
Snappy Snape by Shena
Story Notes:
I actually wrote this story back in 2006 but never had it uploaded here until now. As I'm getting back into writing, I may also continue this fic.
Disclaimer: The characters belong singularly to JK Rowling
Chapter Notes: Each original chapter is quite short so I'm adding two chapters in one, hence the additional chapter titles that you will find.