The last years of Narcissa's girlhood went by quickly and quietly. She finished her seventh year at Hogwarts with the marks her parents expected of her, and for the next several months, drifted from travels to social gatherings. Then, in 1976, her parents informed her of Lucius Malfoy's proposal. Needless to say, they would give it their blessing. Lucius, as they told her, was a man of culture and pride. He had been a prefect at Hogwarts, always socially affluent, and earned people's favor not only through his name, but through skills and manners he had clearly been born with.
It was the marriage Narcissa needed, the one that would secure all the happiness and success her parents had implicitly promised her. But now that the moment was upon her, Narcissa was washed over by a feeling of happiness and relief, far different from the simple satisfaction she had associated with marriage in the past.
She agreed to the proposal without a moment's hesitation, and in the coming days, her joy seemed to carry her aloft above her parents, who busied themselves with the formalities of the engagement, preparing for the day she would officially meet her husband. Because Narcissa had already met him.
At first, Lucius Malfoy had been little more to her than a name. He had been one year above her at Hogwarts, a prefect, a perpetual symbol of an influential elite. No matter where or when Narcissa saw him, Lucius was always surrounded by a circle of people, discussing something lofty and important. He seemed to know everyone by name, down to the shyest first-years who had hardly been at the school for a week. Though Narcissa knew she was no less worthy of Lucius's attention than any other Slytherin girl, she couldn't ever imagine being close to him. Stoic intimidation appeared to be his nature, and he seemed slightly repulsive for it. But due to the relatively small community of the Slytherin House, there was no getting around the fact that everyone, at some point, had to know everyone.
Narcissa became aware of his attention to her in her fourth year, and it had made her uncomfortable at first. They seemed worlds apart, even opposites, and she was both puzzled and frightened that he should take interest in someone who had neither the same ambitions nor his fabulous record of triumphs. Behind the notoriety that came with her name, Narcissa was an average student, who took notes and read textbooks, wanting nothing more than to do her best in every class. She lingered at the fringes of social gatherings, calmly watching while her sisters burst forth into the spotlight. By all accounts, Lucius's eyes should have been on them, on the girls who could give him an advantage in his life.
But as time passed, Narcissa began to notice his eyes drift away from the shining center stage to find her, who had nothing to offer but her adequacy, and linger in puzzlement as if he had seen something he hadn't noticed before. And at the same time, Narcissa grew more attentive towards him, and she found herself hoping that, somewhere behind those deep grey eyes, there lurked a soul that could someday find room for her in its depths.
In Narcissa's fourth year, Lucius asked her to the Christmas dance, which was open only to seventh, sixth, and fifth years, and their escorts. It was the first time he had pointedly approached her alone. Before that, their interactions had taken place in public, even as they began to grow more aware of their mutual interest for each other.
That evening, the Great Hall was a wonderland of white and silver, chandeliers draped with crystals and flakes of snow drifting from the ceiling. The arches of the roof reached up and disappeared into an enchanted panorama of the winter sky. Narcissa and Lucius entered the crowd of people, greeting friends and professors, and once the necessary formalities were over, they took a side table to themselves and waited for the official dance to begin.
Having Lucius so close to her was both exciting and terrifying. They didn't speak much for the first few minutes, quietly drinking and smiling and occasionally glancing at the people around them.
Somewhere from the depths of the crowd emerged Andromeda, surrounded by a group of fellow sixth-years, like a jewel amid the snow. She wore a long, cream-colored dress that offset her dark brown curls, and made her look as if she were gliding rather than walking.
The group passed by their table, and Andromeda's eyes found Narcissa. She gave a smile, which Narcissa returned.
"Andromeda seems to keep good company with the prefects," Lucius commented, as Andromeda disappeared into the fold of dresses and suits. "She's with Sheldon Montague, Eleanor Reeves, Edward Tonks…" He narrowed his eyes to glimpse the people in Anna's company. Hardly any of them were Slytherins, much less in Narcissa's year, and so she barely recognized them. But Lucius seemed to know everything about them, from what they were notable for, even down to what school clubs they frequented.
Lucius began to recount stories, talking slightly faster than usual, though Narcissa captured his every word. When he finished, she gave an astounded sigh. "How do you know all of that?"
Lucius gave a flustered smile. "I don't know. I suppose I just… do." He shrugged. The gesture was so comical coming from him that Narcissa chuckled. "My father was the same as me. He looked for connections everywhere. He transferred from Durmstrang in his fourth year, and by the end of his second week at Hogwarts he already had letters of recommendation for advanced classes. He always said that a name can only get you half a reputation. The rest you have to make yourself."
Narcissa smiled. "I suppose that's true."
They fell into silence, and continued to watch as people appeared and disappeared in the plethora of faces. That was when Narcissa saw Bellatrix. She cut through the crowd in a dress of shimmering black, like a shard of night sky that had fallen to the earth. Out of all the colors in existence, black was the only one that framed the full scope of her beauty, melting with her hair and eyes, making her skin stand out almost pure white in contrast. When Bella's eyes landed on Narcissa and Lucius, they narrowed slightly and a sly smile crept up her lips. Narcissa lowered her head and blushed. From a look like that, she knew that there would be a lot of talk in the girls' dormitory that evening.
As Bella left, Narcissa lowered her head with a sheepish smile. "I must be the only fourth-year here," she said.
"Not true. Payton McLaggen brought his girlfriend and she's a fourth-year. He mentioned her in the Slug Club." Lucius smiled "At any rate, it's just a formality. If they had really banned fourth-years, I wouldn't have gone."
Narcissa's eyes widened. "Really?"
Lucius nodded, and she felt herself blush.
Soon the music began to play, and couples began to step out onto the dance floor. Lucius rose from his chair and held out a hand to Narcissa, and together they went to join them. As always, the dances started off in a formal fashion, with slow, metered music. Students did their best to keep their rhythm without bumping into each other, making for an atmosphere of concentration, which was nevertheless broken by an occasional chuckle when someone slipped up.
Narcissa had taken dancing lessons when she was younger and could keep with the music fairly well, but she was surprised at the grace and ease with which Lucius moved. Whenever she felt like she was falling behind, he'd give her a hand, and they would regain their tempo like before. Throughout the dances, his face remained hardly a wand's length away from Narcissa's own, where it seemed like every emotion was transmitted with unusual, stunning intensity.
Among the flurry of spinning dresses, Narcissa caught occasional glimpses of her sisters. Andromeda was dancing with the Gryffindor boy who had escorted her, wearing the same expression of enchantment that Narcissa felt on herself. They seemed oblivious to what was going on around them, though the others in their midst were cheering and clapping. On the other side of the room, Bellatrix danced swiftly and elegantly, doing one song with one boy then switching for another, after which she bounced back to the refreshment tables and spent the rest of the time chatting. The joy of her sisters' presence, the beauty of the Great Hall, and the thrill of moving to the music all swam round in Narcissa's mind, throwing her into a trance through which she could perceive only beauty in her surroundings. She and Lucius danced for what felt like days, keeping strong till the lights had grown dim and the music slow.
At half past midnight, the Great Hall darkened, the sheet of white clouds dimming into a starry night sky. The music waned into long, deep notes of saxophone and piano. Gradually, the Hall began to empty, with only a few late-stayers lingering on the dance floor, finishing up a last song or conversation. By the time Narcissa had regained enough awareness to look around, she saw that she and Lucius were one of the few people left. After a brief sweep of the room, she caught glimpse of her sisters again, who she suddenly noticed were in close proximity for the first time that evening. Andromeda's escort had left to get drinks and Andromeda herself was walking in search for a place to sit, when she passed Bellatrix, who was leaning against the wall. Andromeda stopped. Bella said something to her, and Anna replied, which elicited a short, sharp conversation that ended with Anna walking away in a huff.
All of a sudden, the haze of wonder and delight seemed to dissipate. The starlight was no longer dazzling, the music no longer lulling. A tension rose in the air, which Narcissa could not explain or pinpoint, but it seemed to be somehow connected to Andromeda's stiff posture and the way Bellatrix's sneer turned into a cold look of enmity as she watched Anna leave.
The colors of reality flooded back in, and Narcissa turned back to Lucius, whom she had forgotten for the space of a second. No longer in a trance, she once again felt meek and nervous before him. "I… I want to leave," she said.
Lucius frowned. He seemed to notice the shadow that had fallen over her face, but Narcissa refused to say more. He looked over to the spot she had been staring at, where Bellatrix was still standing with her company. The group had closed into a tight circle and was discussing something in hushed voices. He turned back to Narcissa.
"All right, then. Let's go."
Narcissa felt him take her arm and whisk her out of the room. There were a few people scattered about the corridors, either gathering into groups or sneaking off to be alone. Lucius led her on till they were far out of sight, bringing her to an empty corridor where he waited for her to regain her composure. When she did, she lifted her head, and the minute she saw Lucius's concerned gaze, she rushed to apologize.
"I'm sorry," she said. "I just don't like it when my sisters fight."
Lucius nodded, and Narcissa relaxed when she saw he wasn't upset. Far to the contrary, his face had fallen back to the look of quiet admiration he had worn for most of the evening. "Then perhaps we can take a walk?"
He held out his hand, and a moment later, Narcissa took it.
They started on a long-winded route towards the Slytherin common room, passing arched windows that gave a glimpse of the moonlit grounds. The darkness stripped everything bare - the trees, the snowy grass, the frozen surface of the lake. Narcissa felt Lucius's hand clasping hers and met his gaze every so often, which made his face light with a smile. And suddenly, his titles and honors became like vague abstractions. His family, ancient and reputable, seemed far beyond the stretches of their world. She only sensed Lucius's presence beside her, and for one of a rare few moments in her life, she felt that it was one she wanted to keep by her side, something infinitely more valuable than anything an outside image could have given her.
Lucius was the only person Narcissa told about Andromeda's betrayal. The year that Anna left, Narcissa returned to Hogwarts for her sixth year, still dazed, still feeling as if she had been plunged into an alternate reality. She kept remembering that final look Anna had given her before stepping into the fireplace. It was a stare that said everything: hurt, betrayal. But nevertheless, pride. It was a stare Narcissa saw several times afterward in her dreams, in the time leading up to the start of the new term.
In those dreams, Andromeda would appear like a ghost from a black mist, dressed in the cream-colored dress she had worn to the Christmas ball. Only now the dress would be torn and ragged, covered in the dust of Floo powder. Anna's eyes, tired and sunken, would suddenly light up as she flashed Bella's crazed smile.
"You let them do it, Cissy. You let them bury me. After all I did for you, you repay me with nothing - a shallow care for my sisterly love. But the ghosts you keep won't stay hidden forever. One day it'll all come back - I'll come back - and when I do, I'll make sure YOU take my place!"
And each time, Andromeda would lunge forward with her arm outstretched, fingers curling like claws, and each time Narcissa would pull away in disgust, narrowly escaping their grasp, and let her sister plummet through the darkness.
Once she returned to Hogwarts, Narcissa managed to distract herself with schoolwork, and the dream did not return. But her shaken state did not abate. She became wary of her housemates, wondering if any of them knew what had happened. Their passing stares seemed suspicious, their every question two-sided. Every time she saw someone looking at her, it seemed as if they could see Anna in her mind, and that charred spot on the family tree that had missed her picture by inches.
Lucius seemed to notice something was wrong, though Narcissa avoided the subject for months, before she finally couldn't hold it in any longer and confessed what had happened. Part of her still feared that mentioning Andromeda would summon her back like a ghost, rekindling her parents' fury, only this time directing it at her. Because however much they praised her constancy and good behavior, Narcissa had always felt that she had been putting on an act. However many pureblood names she recited when she mentioned a recent party, Narcissa had always felt that it could slip away at any moment, leaving her to drift off into a lonely, shameful existence.
Narcissa spoke until she had told Lucius everything, withholding only the shame and anger she felt inside herself. But Lucius figured out the rest on his own. And he reacted in a way she didn't expect.
He placed his hand on her shoulder and drew closer. "Anyone who would choose something over you or your happiness is a fool," he said quietly. "And if your sister failed to see that, then she is the biggest fool of all. But her life and her choices have no reflection on you. If she's gone, so be it." He fixed his gaze on hers. "Because I will never leave you."
And he didn't.
He remained at her side for the rest of the year, and slowly, Narcissa moved on. She found herself becoming more drawn to him than ever, but the feeling was tinged with sadness, because she knew that it would be the last year they would spend together. Summer was fast approaching, and Lucius was finishing his classes, writing farewell letters to professors, and tying up loose ends in his organizations.
Finally, on the last day of the term, Narcissa met Lucius in the Slytherin common room to leave for the Hogwarts Express. Having graduated, Lucius would move on to get a job and begin his independent life. He had already changed out of his school uniform and was dressed in crisp, businesslike attire. His long blond hair was tied behind his head, which made him seem older.
Narcissa, in contrast, felt silly with her Hogwarts robes, her girlish braid, and her cluttered trunk, containing remnants of a world which was starting to grow too heavy a burden for her. Her school years had gone well in almost every aspect: She had earned good marks, had gained a wealth of magical skill, and became known for her wit and grace. But she had done nothing spectacular, nothing noteworthy, and had failed to define a path for herself as her sisters had done. Instead of stretching her parents' boundaries, Narcissa lay complacently in their hands like a flower - admired, but nevertheless pruned. On occasions of endearment, they still referred to her as their 'blossom', that old favorite term they had used since her childhood. But as of late, Narcissa had started to despise it.
She and Lucius walked to the platform, joining the crowds of students at the fringes of the Hogsmeade station. Narcissa looked out at the hills that stretched beyond the platform's walls and took a deep breath of air.
"So, this is it." She looked over to Lucius, a smile twitching on her lips. "The common room is going to be awfully quiet without you."
"Not by much," Lucius said. "You'll still have the people in your year. And your cousin Regulus will be starting too, won't he? He might need your help finding classrooms."
Narcissa smiled. "I hear he's already excited to be in Slytherin."
"Just make sure you're not in the room when Severus and his friends try to test out new spells. And most importantly, if you need someone to study with, make sure he's not more handsome than me."
Narcissa tilted her head. "What makes you so sure I'm searching?"
Lucius chuckled. "Well, I can't say I won't worry… I know I'll think about it at least a few times at work."
"So, you already have your job?"
Lucius nodded. "I'm going to be one of the Minister's personal staff. Aside from his duties to the country, he has to make sure the Ministry itself is running smoothly. So he needs regular reports from each department, which will be managed by me and the other Junior Undersecretaries."
Narcissa smiled. "I wouldn't have expected any less from you."
Lucius gave a shrug. "It wasn't my first choice… I originally wanted to apply to the International Office of Law, but for some reason my father wanted me to become one of the Minister's staff instead. There was a specific department he requested for me."
"Which is it?"
To her surprise, Lucius lifted his eyebrows. "I don't know. All I know is that they accepted me last week… and sent me this." He pulled a small golden key from his pocket and placed it into Narcissa's hands. It was fairly heavy for its size, but it bore no special markings. After turning it over a few times, Narcissa handed it back.
"That's strange," she said. "Maybe it's for the Department of Mysteries?"
"I don't think so. If that happened, then they'd have sent me all sorts of forms and binding contracts making me swear to keep my secrecy. My letter didn't tell me anything other than that I was accepted and that I'm to report to the Main Atrium next Sunday."
Narcissa smiled. "Well, whatever it is, I'm sure you'll do splendid."
The sounds of chugging grew louder in the distance, and Narcissa turned to see the Hogwarts Express appear from the hills. The gleaming train approached the platform and slowed to a stop, and the doors to the compartments slid open. She turned to Lucius. "I guess we should be going."
Her tone was calm, but still Lucius caught the trace of sadness behind it. "This doesn't have to be goodbye," he said. "I'll write to you. Every Junior Undersecretary has their own owl. Five days a week, I'll be sitting in London, filing claims, writing letters, thinking of you." He smiled. "It's not like I'll really be leaving. You'll still have me, just in words. And maybe after you finish school, you can come visit me."
Narcissa lowered her head. "I've thought about that. But my parents will probably get me some tutors to teach me more advanced magic. They've already started to make plans."
"Do you have something in mind for a career?"
"I don't know. They said I could become a good curse-blocker… but I think I'll just become a teacher. It might not be exactly what they want, but I suppose they'll be happy with it."
"They have every reason to be proud of you, Narcissa," said Lucius. "You're one of the brightest Slytherins. You can do anything you set your mind to."
Narcissa smiled. "But what's the use? My parents still get the last word. I know they want to help me make a good life, but I feel like they're only trying to keep me with them for as long as possible. And I know I can't leave them… They'll keep me here to finish my studies, then they'll find me a husband like they did for Bellatrix… and you'll be moving on, making your own life in that Ministry of yours." She looked up at him, finding his grey eyes, the last pair that still looked at her in patience and understanding, not scrutiny or possessiveness. "I'm glad for you, Lucius. But I don't think we'll be able to see each other. Our lives are going to be completely different, and I can't do anything to change it. I'm not like you… I - I'm not like my sisters."
She turned away, her gaze trailing downward.
But a moment later, she felt Lucius slowly take her hand. She looked up, and he enclosed it in both of his own, pressing it against his heart.
"No. You're not."
He waited till Narcissa's eyes were fixed on his before continuing. "You are not Andromeda or Bellatrix, and you shouldn't ever be. Whoever they were, whatever they did, it should be of no concern to you. You are more than what they were. And I am more than who my father is. We'll put them all behind us." He kissed her hand gently. "Marry me."
And so Narcissa said yes to Lucius before she had said yes to her parents. But the formal process, as he explained, would take longer. Before he officially proposed, Lucius would have to gain a footing in his new Ministry job and settle things with his parents. They had already begun to peruse the matter of his marriage, and when Lucius voiced his preferences to them, they would no doubt give their approval. And as soon as they did, he would send Narcissa a letter.
At last, Lucius arrived at the Black residence on the spring of 1976. He greeted Narcissa with a bow, then looked up at her with a smile.
He was accompanied by his parents, who Narcissa already knew were named Abraxas and Polymnia. Polymnia was tall and slim, her dirty-blond hair tied neatly to the side. One of the strands near the front was colored a dark brown, adding a touch of well-mannered eccentricity. But the person from whom Lucius had inherited most of his looks was unquestionably his father. Abraxas stood half a head above his wife, with the same pale blond hair and hardness of expression as his son.
His manner was, if possible, even more refined. After shaking hands with Cygnus and bowing to Druella, he extended a hand to Narcissa and gently brushed his thumb across her fingers.
"Lovely. I must confess, had we known such a beautiful, mannered girl was already the object of our son's interest, we would have acted immediately. From what Lucius has told us, I profess that there would have been no better match."
Narcissa's parents agreed. Cygnus and Druella got along well with the Malfoys, and before long it seemed like they had been close friends for their entire lives.
The Malfoys would come to visit frequently in the subsequent weeks while preparations were made at their manor for the wedding. Narcissa often passed by her father's study to hear Cygnus and Abraxas talking over drinks. For some reason, the thing she best remembered Abraxas saying, in his simpering, lighthearted tone, was: "Oh, yes, it is indeed imperative that one knows their history!" This would be broken by loud laughter and the clink of goblets.
Indeed, both men did know their history, for they always seemed to be debating some fine philosophical point or recounting old family tales. Meanwhile, Lucius would show her photographs of his family and home, and the more Narcissa learned about them, the more she felt like she was tapping at the surface of something vast and intricate, with more mysteries than explanations.
At last, at the end of the month, the work at the Malfoy Manor was finished and the three Malfoys paid their final visit. Polymnia gave Narcissa a blue stone pendant that matched her eyes and Abraxas stood her and Lucius shoulder-to-shoulder, stepping back to observe them.
"Splendid! Exemplary! Of course, Cygnus, they will have to rehearse some things before the ceremony, but I believe everything at the Manor is in order and ready to go. Now!" Abraxas swept his arm towards the fireplace. "I invite you all to take your first look at our residence. Come!"
From all that Lucius had told her, Narcissa knew that Abraxas was a man who knew what he wanted. He never held a steady job as Lucius did now, but rather frequented the social scene with his wife like an old decoration, the centerpiece to an elaborate feast table, which everyone had grown so used to seeing that they overlooked its deciding power. Throughout their lives, he and Polymnia had played the roles that benefitted them, which led many to question their true motives, and indeed, whether or not they knew their own motives themselves. But at the same time, beneath that sly smile, Narcissa often saw a hardness of resolve in Abraxas's eyes, an intention or purpose that was clear to no one but himself, his sole constant, the answer to everything.
Six years later, that same man would be dying in bed of dragon pox, in a dark room of his distant house. Narcissa and Lucius would arrive, dismissing all the doctors once they said there was nothing more they could do. Lucius kept walking in and out of the room, but Narcissa remained stuck to her chair, not taking her eyes off of the sick man. And in his feverish daze, Abraxas would reach out blindly to her and open his hand, revealing an empty palm, but for some reason Narcissa would find herself unable to pull away her gaze, absurdly expecting to find something clutched there.
"Lucius…"
Narcissa froze. Abraxas thought he was speaking to his son. She turned to the door, wanting to call Lucius over, but right then Abraxas gave a loud cough, and she turned back.
"If you would please," Abraxas continued. "The key."
Narcissa's breath caught in her throat.
"You have it now… Take me there… Show it to me!"
The door creaked as Lucius entered, hurriedly coming to Narcissa's side. He had missed Abraxas's final words by seconds. Moments later, Abraxas began to cough louder than ever, until his energy had drained and his head fell back onto the pillow. His hand went limp over the side of the bed, and several minutes later, he went still. Abraxas's request had died with him.
Gasping and trembling, Narcissa would relay what he had said, and Lucius would comfort her, saying that Abraxas had been raving and that his words meant nothing. But Lucius didn't seem to wholly believe himself.
The opinion Narcissa would hold then, at twenty-seven, was much the same as the one she held now, at twenty-one: There was something more to the Malfoys than met the eye. Perhaps they weren't aware of it themselves. But Narcissa had seen it the moment they appeared together - Lucius, Abraxas, and Polymnia - all standing with their lazy haughtiness, facing her straight-backed parents, who were proud and traditional, yet plain for all to see.
She saw it most of all in Lucius, in that focused, contemplative way he could look at someone, and in the way that his emotions sometimes glimmered out from his face without him realizing it. In the sum of those moments, she had seen in him a kindred soul, someone she loved more than the faceless set of descriptions her parents had recited.
And so, at the altar, as she prepared to say her vows, Narcissa wasn't thinking of Lucius's parents, or of hers. She wasn't thinking about her friends or her sisters, but only about him, and the proper, peaceful life they would lead. And that, she supposed, was all she ever wanted.
In the weeks following the wedding, Lucius took complete ownership of the Malfoy Manor from his parents, who left a few final gifts before departing. The regal mansion was once again humbled by the presence of a young family, which filled its ancient walls with the warmth of new life. Lucius made some renovations for comfort and convenience. Narcissa's touch added a softness that balanced the elegant furnishings, gracing them with some of her old possessions and pictures. She melded her identity with the backdrop of his, and together they made it their home.
On Lucius's part, he had fulfilled his father's ambition. He had made a good marriage, had secured a respectable career, and was on his way writing the next chapter of the Malfoy family. It had been what he had intended to do all along, the goal he had pursued since childhood. He hadn't wanted to simply please his father, but to surpass him, and transcend society's stale expectations of him.
But something had happened in the process that he didn't expect. Lucius had found the embodiment of those dreams in a person he truly cared for, one who completed some unfinished puzzle in his heart. There was nobody else in the world he would rather have at his side, no one he would rather lay down his life to protect.
To Narcissa, her new home became her haven. It was a place she felt she belonged in, one where she could finally be free from the weight of her past. She was building a new future now, together with someone she truly loved. Nothing, she decided, would ever tear them apart.
...
Narcissa was at peace.
For a while, it lasted.
Until the day came when the world they built came crashing over their shoulders and brought the proud family to its knees, shattering the remnants of their legacy and leaving them dangling by a thread over the inferno of their own destruction.
…
And Anna returned.
But not in the way Narcissa had thought she would.