Disclaimer: All characters are Jo’s, of course. I’m just pulling the puppet strings a bit. ^_^

“Thank you, yes, it’s very sad. Thank you. No, I’m sorry, Mrs. Potter is not accepting visitors right now. You’re very kind. Yes. Thank you. You have a happy Christmas too.”

James Potter stood in the dining room by the fireplace, dully responding to various Floos and well-wishers.

“No, I’m very sorry, but Mrs. Potter will not be accepting visitors today. Yes, Thank you --”

After about a half-hour of this, James simply propped a sign up against a chair in front of the fireplace reading: “Mrs. Potter will not be accepting visitors today. Thank you for your concern.”

He left the kitchen, a disgruntled ‘pop!’ coming from the fireplace occasionally. He meandered towards the living room, where Sirius and Lily were sitting, Lily staring at her hands, and Sirius staring out the window. He stopped at the doorway and watched them. Both seemed oblivious to his presence.

He reached into his pocket and pulled out a crumpled piece of paper, an almost automatic action that he had performed so many times today. Smoothing it out with his hand, he leaned against the doorway and read it, for the thousandth time.

To Mrs. Beatrice Potter and family,

Sure her thoughts were with them. Funny how the hardest news of his life could be held in a three-sentence letter.

“James?” said a hesitant voice. James looked up to see Lily watching him. He stuffed the letter back into his pocket and left the room. He didn’t want company…not right now.

Merry Christmas, he thought bitterly.

He climbed the stares to his room, pausing only to gaze half-heartedly at his mother’s closed door. This would take its toll on her, he knew it. It wasn’t that his mother wasn’t a strong person -- she was. But this seemed to be almost more than she could bear.

James lay on his bed and stared at the bare ceiling. A part of him had expected it, of course. His father had a high-standing post at the Ministry, and he vocally opposed Lord Voldemort. It was not shocking that Mr. Potter would be on the Dark Lord’s list.

And yet, in some dark corner of his mind, James had always hoped, thought that maybe…His father was a pureblood. He had married a respectable pureblood wife, and fathered a pureblood son. It disgusted James that this had even crossed his mind, but he had to be honest to himself. Voldemort had, whether directly or no, killed his father, but what of all the others, who had suffered just as he was? What of Lily?

Did he think his parents more…worthy of living than Lily’s? He sat up, disgusted. No! Of course he didn’t. He was just upset. That was all. But one question still remained. Why his father? Sinking yet deeper into his mind, he rubbed the temples of his forehead, thinking hard. He vaguely recognized the sound of a tap on a door.

Why his father? Was he just in the wrong place in the wrong time? Mr. Potter wasn’t an Auror; he didn’t track down Dark Wizards, simply fought against them when they attacked the innocent. There had to have been an attack, then, but why hadn’t they heard of one? Surely, if there had been a Death Eater attack on Christmas Eve, it would be in the Daily Prophet. But it had to have been an attack, or else…

Or else the Death Eater’s had targeted him, James finished the thought. But why? He had just worked himself in a circle. Why his father? He searched his mind for anything his father might have said that could have foretold this.

He could come up with nothing. It was all so random, so…

It couldn’t be.

The thought had invaded his head before he could do anything about it. No, he told himself fervently. It wasn’t possible…not Lily.

And yet, Voldemort himself had attacked Lily…that certainly wasn’t normal. His father was pureblood, even if he was opposed to Voldemort. In a certain part of himself that he hated, James had always felt relatively safe, protected by his blood status. There hadn’t been threats against his family until…

Until Lily.

The logical part of his brain told him that was ridiculous. It couldn’t possibly have anything to do with her, but all the same…

There was a knock on the door again.

He had to talk to her. She might know something. He didn’t know what had happened before he had showed up at her house that night, he had never asked…

He stood up and swung the door open.

He was met in surprise by a rather nervous looking Lily. “James, look, you can‘t just…trust me, I know, but…” she started, but James cut her off.

“Lily, I need to ask you something.”

“Oh-okay,” she said.

James took a breath. Was it fair of him to ask her this? To bring it up after such a long period of silence? But he had to know…

“What do you know…about Voldemort? About why he attacked you?”

Lily’s immediate reaction was surprise, as if this was not at all what she had expected. “W-what?”

“Voldemort. Why he attacked you,” James repeated.

“Why…what are you…I don’t know any more than you do!” she stammered.

“Nothing?” James pressed, “Voldemort hadn’t said anything to you…?”

Lily was starting to become a little angry. “You saw what happened! Voldemort didn’t …didn’t find me until you showed up! Why are you so interested all of the sudden, anyway?”

“But before!” James continued, hardly hearing himself. A sort of fervor had overtaken him. “You had to have seen Voldemort before, even if he hadn’t seen you! What did he say? Surely he didn’t just walk in in silence!”

Lily stared at him for a moment like she had never seen him before. She opened her mouth, closed it again, and then said, “I can hardly even remember…”

“Oh come on,” said James irritably. “You don’t just forget a thing like that…”

“You think I don’t know that!” shouted Lily furiously. “I’m thinking, if you’d just shut up for a moment!” She was silent for a moment. James watched her with intent anticipation. “Agh! I don’t know! What am I supposed to be remembering? The part where he ordered the Death Eaters to kill my parents, or the part about leaving the filthy Mudblood to him? He didn’t say ‘Oh, and by the way, I’m going after the Head Boy’s family next,’ if that’s what you mean!”

James froze, then took a deep breath. Lily, who was watching him closely, nodded slightly. “That’s what this is about, isn’t it,” she said quietly, her eyes never leaving his.

James said nothing.

“You think there’s some connection, don’t you? Between me, and…this, don’t you?”

“I just thought, maybe because you came…”

“Because I came here! It’s my fault! No, of course! It all makes perfect sense! It’s the Mudblood’s fault! Don’t get to close, knowing one will kill you, won’t it!”

“Lily, don’t be ridiculous, I never said…”

“But that doesn’t mean you didn’t think it!” Lily yelled. “I suppose I shouldn’t be surprised. I mean, if Marlene thinks so, I don’t know why I thought you’d be any different --”

“Don’t you go comparing me with Marlene!” shouted James, angrily. “I never even said…you’re putting words in my mouth!”

“Am I, though? Or am I simply voicing what you can’t? I should never have come here, I should never have left…I’m so stupid, stupid, stupid!”

“Lily, listen to me!”

“Er --”

Lily and James turned around simultaneously to see Sirius Black standing uncomfortably on the landing behind them. They looked at him, both with rather fierce expressions on their faces, waiting for him to say something.

“Er,” he said, “I just came up to…to see if Lily had any luck.”

“Any luck?” asked James, raising his eyebrows slightly.

“Yes,” said Lily, turning her glare back to him. “And don’t look so accusing, I just came up here to tell you that hiding in your bloody room won’t do any good. I should know, shouldn’t I! But,” she added, her voice rising dangerously, “now that I know that it wasn’t your dad you were thinking about, I shouldn’t have bothered!”

Sirius looked bewildered. “What? What’s going on?” he asked, glancing uneasily between the two of them, who were glaring at each other once more. “James? Lily?”

“Careful, Black!” Lily cried shrilly. “Don’t get too close! One step closer and some Death Eaters might pop through that window and kill you!”

“Oh for Merlin’s sake, Lily, stop being so --” James interjected.

“Stop being so what, James? I’ll tell you what, I’ll do you both a favor…” and with that, she promptly turned around and stomped back to her room.

“What was --” Sirius began, but James turned around and slammed the door angrily.

The next few days were nothing short of painful, what with James avoiding Lily, and Lily leaving the room if either Sirius or James walked in. Needless to say, it came as quite a relief when the Christmas Holiday came to an end.

Author’s Note: I know, this chapter was ungodly short. However, I knew it would be a while until I was able to finish the envisioned chapter 14, so I decided to put up this little taster for now. Think of it as Chapter 13 ½. I hope you enjoyed this tidbit, and more is yet to come! :)