Which HP Kid Are You?
...and which lesser Harry Potter character are you?
Understandable. Thanks for all 5 reviews you left for me =). Ah well, this IS MNFF, after all. They do screw up a lot, ha ha. You're right about nobody reviewing poetry, and to tell the truth I think that it's just sad. Poetry is as much a legitimate genre as any other, although friends of mine with chapter fics DO look down on the poetry.... hmm.... must ponder...
Author's Response: I've actually gotten more reviews for this one and the other poem than for my chapter fic...odd.
In the very beginning you had a nice rhyming pattern, but towords the end you sort of broke away from it, making it less effective. To tell the truth, that's the reason I prefer writing and reading free-form. You did a decent job of showing Neville's emotions, but you didn't really dig down deep inside of him and find out what makes him that way. You didn't show your audience what really made him tick. Generally I like it, but It'll only get a 6/10 from me. Keep working at it, because you've got a great start there!
Author's Response: Yes, in the beginning I started writing it in class, and the bell rang and I was interrupted. That disrupted my flow. Once I lost my flow, I really couldn't get it back.
All in all, I enjoyed it. Your style is there, and the meaning is clear, but the form is inconsistent. Not that that's a problem, but I feel that poetry should either have no form a a consistent form. But, I think that I might be biased because Ron/Hermione is my second favorite ship, only overthrown by Harry/Ginny. I dub it an 8/10.
Author's Response: Thank you! Yes, biases are hard in ships. I do agree with you, I'm a little inconsistant, I was trying internal rhyme in honor of Stephen Sondheim's 76th birthday, and it was my first crack at internal rhyme, and also, once again, the divided writing periods. Yes, usually my school doodles turn into poems, that's why they're a little inconsistent.
Wow.... that reminds me soo much of the guy I have a crush on it's not even funny. =) Love it. You showed all the things that come to mind when you think of Ron, INCLUDING the freckles. Just an awesome little touch, right there. I thought that it showed Hermione's feelings extremely well, and it also gave her one of those little girl qualities, first crush and all that. It was innocent, and I like that about it. 10/10, and job well done. *bows*
Author's Response: wow thank you so much! i wasnt getting like ANY reviews so i was jsut like ummm.......is it really that bad? thank you so much!!!!!!!!! you are so great!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
For the most part, it's decent. A few grammatical and spelling errors, but overall a nice poem. I like the free-form, but with the message you're trying to get across it might have been a bit better rhymed. 7/10.
Author's Response: thanks! but just for the record, poetry has no grammatical rules (actually it has no rules at all) and thats why i love it so much. but thank you SO MUCH for reviewing! i LOVE it when people do that!
*tear* *sniff* 9/10, I like your style
I'll give you more than 30 seconds, my friend. Geez, I'll even take the time to use proper grammar and spelling. =) So, your poem. For the most part, I enjoyed it. I thought it was well thought out and easily read. I like how you kept the identity of this "innocent looking" woman a secret, and I also like the way you describe her thoughts and reflections. I think a 9/10, which from me is an extremely good review. Keep writing!
Author's Response: Thank you for your kind review! I'm flattered that you took the time. Thanks again!
It seems very similar to the song in RENT... the one that Roger sings to Mimi when she's like half dead? Did you base it off that, or is it simply your own thought? Just curious about that part, I really liked it. I liked the free-form and short sentences, kind of reminds me of my poems. Keep on writing, and a 10/10
Author's Response: I seriously did not base it off the song in RENT, cuz I don\'t really like that part when Mimi\'s half dead because I feel its overdramatic. If it seems like it, that\'s because RENT has actually became a part of my life, and I probably based on it without realizing. I write free form because I can\'t stick to a set rhyme scheme, and I used short sentences because I wanted to make the point of being numb with emotion, and I actually was numb with emotion. I\'ve never read your poems, but I\'ll check them out. Thanks for the review!
"I scream,
For your voice
So I never forget,
How it sounded.
I had never realized,
How close,
We were,
And now I can't forget it,
For the world."
That section really stung me, because I've had good friends pass away. I know exactly how you feel, and I think that writing will help you... I know it helped me. :)
Author's Response: Awww, thank you. I was really thinking of my friend while I was wriring this, so it hit me hard, too. You\'re right, writing is something I do during emotional times, it really helps.
Well, generally, it was pretty good. I liked how you describe the Four Founders and their artifacts, but I didn't like the beginning. I thought it was somewhat choppy, which can sometimes be a good thing, but this time it wasn't. I liked the idea and the writing style, but the beginning just wasn't my thing.
Well, generally, it was pretty good. I liked how you describe the Four Founders and their artifacts, but I didn't like the beginning. I thought it was somewhat choppy, which can sometimes be a good thing, but this time it wasn't. I liked the idea and the writing style, but the beginning just wasn't my thing.
Oh my.
Amazing. I love the way you show Hermione's thoughts and feelings.. kind of reminds me of me :)
The way you show the graveyard without really describing it.. that takes skill. I love how we don't really know who the poem's about until the end.
Excellent. Just.. keep writing, for this site's sake.
Author's Response: Thank you... That certainly puts things in a different light!
~Juli
Haha, interesting. I like how you incorperated Umbridge's "fairly wide load." It's an unusual idea, and you pulled it off really well. The only stanza I had a problem with would be the second one... it just didn't seem to flow as well as the others. Nice job, though!
Author's Response: Secon stanza, huh? I\'d say you\'re right, but that happens when you write a rhyming poem like this, I suppose. Thanks for your review!
Author's Response: Oooooops, misspelled second. Tee hee.
Author's Response: At least I didn\'t misspell \"misspelled.\"
I love the way that you portray the battle, and how you describe Voldemort without really describing him. I just love it when people do that :) You're really good, so I hope you don't stop!
Author's Response: Thank you! First review. And, don\'t worry, I won\'t stop ;-*
I love the way that you portray the battle, and how you describe Voldemort without really describing him. I just love it when people do that :) You're really good, so I hope you don't stop!
Pretty good for a newcomer :) I liked your use of choppy sentences, and I also liked the lack of predetermined structure. I always feel that free-form poetry expresses emotions better than distinctive rhythmic structures. I especially liked the lines:
"These feelings of numbness,
This feeling of guilt.
This pain is ripping me whole."
A nice interpritation of our beloved werewolf's thoughts. Bravo!
Author's Response: Thanks sooo much! I\'m glad you like my improper style of poetry (lol). Thanks again!
Oh dear, what a great ending.
!!!
Author's Response: Hope fully you enjoyed the other bits too!
Oh dear, what a great ending.
!!!
Author's Response: Hmm, seem to already have this one :)