I am eighteen and cheerful and in love with words, and one day I shall write something that ends happily.
You keep comparing Sara to Tonks, it's driving me mad trying to figure out--is she...no, she can't be...but maybe...agh. But she's Greyback's daughter? He'd know--Remus would know--or maybe...I don't know. I'm completely incoherent, and definitely curious. In a very bizarre way, that's a compliment of sorts. Update soon, (or whenever they figure out the database thing) and have a good weekend!
Author's Response: Thanks! It\'s my birthday tomorrow (today? I think it\'s past midnight already. I\'m typing this while on my sleeping bag watching Order of the Phoneix) and I hope for my one day out of the year when I actually have luck, they\'ll get it up. Is Sara--what? She\'s not Tonks\' sister or anything if that\'s what you mean. I guess this may be kind of a spoiler but anyone who cares to read her page on the Forums knows her Mum\'s a Muggle so I guess it really isn\'t a spoiler. So yeah. She\'s not related to Tonks. Thanks for reviewing!
You keep comparing Sara to Tonks, it's driving me mad trying to figure out--is she...no, she can't be...but maybe...agh. But she's Greyback's daughter? He'd know--Remus would know--or maybe...I don't know. I'm completely incoherent, and definitely curious. In a very bizarre way, that's a compliment of sorts. Update soon, (or whenever they figure out the database thing) and have a good weekend!
This was fantastic--thank you for pointing me to it! 'Dromeda was real without losing that slight haughtiness, the old poise she seemed to have in that very brief scene in DH. The two of them coming back to the house was probably the best part, and the ending felt surreal and calm in the best of ways.
A couple of little things: 2nd scene, 7th paragraph, "lost touch of with own opinion" maybe to "of my" or "with my"; and last scene, "we blew her of the tapestry" needs another f in off.
Lovely Ted/Andromeda. Great job!
Author's Response: Thanks for the nitpicks, Penn! I'm glad you enjoyed it :]
That was really sweet. Ginny's unfinished "I hope our kids--" line was a great lead-in to that whole exchange, and you manipulated the conversation masterfully to work in the "I love yous" in the end.
Oh, one thing: third sentence, last long paragraph, "Ginny suspected everyone had gone up to bed." A tenses thing? Must be is present, I think.
Your style was refreshing--smooth, flowing, with convincing transitions. It was a lovely read. Well done!
Author's Response: Thank you Pendraegona for the lovely review. I was surprised myself at how easy it was to write the dialogue between the two. Harry and Ginny are my favorites so I love writing stories about them. I\'m glad you enjoyed it!
That was a short, smooth, feel-good fic, and just what I needed. Thanks! :)
Author's Response: Glad you liked it! Thanks for reviewing. :)
This was such a laugh! I can see Hermione getting a kick out of the glass shoes, and Ginny not really understanding. I didn't really care for Harry, but I guess that's sort of the point.
On the off-chance Zabini was at this ball, would Ginny have a way to call in back-up and arrest him there?
Hope there's more! *bounces up and down*
Author's Response: Yep, Harry isn\'t very Harry-ish, but I don\'t think he\'s ever going to show up after this chapter (hmm, maybe he will…), so I hope that doesn\'t stop you from keeping reading. If she found Zabini, she would be able to quickly Apparate back and get reinforcements. I suppose she could think of a way to send them a message, too. There\'s more, don\'t worry! The second chapter is in queue! Thanks so much for the review!
This is such an easy, fun, brightening-my-day-with-an-update sort of story, and you're only two chapters in. The Draco/Ginny interaction made me smile, and I really like your Ginny...she's a very good actor.
I do have a few things--you're writing from sort of a third person ominiscent, so Ginny, Draco, and Pansy all got a little POV in here, but because sometimes you blended the scenes, it made it easy to forget that Draco is still thinking of her as "Ella" (nice one, by the way). Also, if Draco is kissing her in an "I don't mean it sort of way," snogging is not probably the word you were looking for--you only used it once, but it's a little misleading.
Then, simply because I'm curious...Why does Ginny bother to approach Draco? And will we get to see much more snarky, slytherin-y Draco in action? He said some not-so-nice things to Pansy, but his character has the propensity to be downright nasty.
I think my favorite thing in this chapter was the banter near the end. The dialogue was pretty smooth and convincing throughout, but particularly good there. Gonna stop now, but congrats on a enjoyable chapter and update soon! Cheers!
Cool. It's going pretty well, a fun read and neat fairy-tale spin-off. Draco had an appropriately snarky moment or two, and Ginny was socially awkward in all the right places. Draco's earnestness when he returned to the library felt a little contrived, though.
Draco's gonna still have some reservations about going after her, right?
Cheers.
That was beautiful, and so, so sad. I especially liked the scenes you wrote from Draco's sixth year--the dialogue was particularly well done, I thought.
The last line was a perfect ending. Am I allowed to ask how she died?
Author's Response: Thanks so much! I absolutely love writing dialogue, so I\'m glad you like it. To tell you the truth, I never really imagined how she died, except that it was a natural death, nothing tragic. She was getting old, after all.
Well, that was quite an adventure, and an exciting read! At times it was very light, like it was all a game, but sometimes it was incredibly dangerous--the boggart pretending to be her dead brother was an appropriately placed reminder of everything that was at stake.
I also liked Neville, and the Room of Requirement--capturing the spirit of the rebellion and all that!
One question--if Rose was a second year during DH, she would have been sorted in Harry's sixth year, but I think she was actually sorted in his fifth year. Was she held back a year?
Congratulations on an entertaining story, and on winning the gauntlet!
Author's Response: Wow, thank you so much! That\'s one of the nicest reviews I\'ve gotten in a long time!\r\nI\'m really glad you found the story entertaining, and thanks for the comment on Neville - I wasn\'t too sure about his characterisation!\r\nUh oh, I must\'ve made a mistake about Rose being in second year - let\'s just say she stayed back a year because she wanted to keep Suki company (she\'s a lot younger).\r\nThanks again, your review really brightened up my day!
I think I just died laughing. You did some really fantastic work with tension and awkward conversations, and your title was utterly perfect and completely appropriate.
I should say, though, that Harry really hasn't got a right to laugh at Draco for giving his son a horrible name like Scorpius. I mean, Albus Severus? It doesn't get much worse than that.
Great story, and have a good week!
Oh Merlin, that was fantastic. The last line was laugh-out-loud-in-the-middle-of-a-quiet-room worthy, and your Mrs. Weasley is perfect (esp. the little symphony metaphor at the beginning of "Making Breakfast.")
I would imagine after eleven years, Ron wouldn't let on exactly how shaken he was by anything Fred and George told him, even if it was about a Sorting troll. I suppose you made allowances for that. Your Fred and George were ever so slightly...um, okay, they were a little terrifying. And very much convincing as typical older brothers. "Even if you don't make it, we know the troll will at least have a few scratches...." *snicker* Ah, the joys of being the oldest. I reckon I've tried variations of that line out myself.
All in all, very well done. I don't know if you get final exam "grades" for your humor class, but if you do...good luck!
Author's Response: Thanks for the review! I\'m glad you enjoyed it. I\'ve actually been in the role of the teased younger sibling, so I know how it feels. Thanks for the luck, too. My prof gave me full credit.
I wondered for a bit if you were going to have all the Marauders sending notes on James' behalf, but it's funnier the way you did it...and creepier. Ugh. Lucius Malfoy. I can't imagine all the Marauders liking her at the same time romantically, it's just not plausible, but it had me rolling around. Peter--oh Merlin, he was the most amusing of them all. The ponytail thing? Brilliant.
Thank you for making me laugh.
This was really sweet, and a good read. I think I'm most impressed by the structure and flow of it; for a one-shot, it's extraordinarily well-developed and ended with all the satisfaction of a many-chaptered fic, with all the scenes leading perfectly to this one point, this last line that releases all the tension you started building with the very first line. Definitely drew me in. Good job!
I Like It. I've never read Ted as a Ravenclaw, but you pulled it off pretty well, and Andromeda was just about a perfect snob. It read well, and your other characters--O'Hare, Lydia, Maggie--they were all believable OCs.
I do have a question, though. Are all the Houses together for N.E.W.T. level Potions in seventh year? Or did you just make double Potions Ravenclaw/Slytherin for the story?
Very well done, again, good with characterization and an enjoyable read. Update soon? Have a good week!
Author's Response: Thanks! Andromeda may seem like a snob now, but I have a feeling she\'ll come around. ;) As for Ted being a Ravenclaw, I\'ve just always pictured him that way.\r\n\r\nOoh, Potions should have all the classes in there. Thanks for pointing that out - I\'ll change it when I have a second.\r\n\r\nI\'m glad you liked it, and thanks for the lovely review! :D
Author's Response: Thanks! Andromeda may seem like a snob now, but I have a feeling she\'ll come around. ;) As for Ted being a Ravenclaw, I\'ve just always pictured him that way.\r\n\r\nOoh, Potions should have all the classes in there. Thanks for pointing that out - I\'ll change it when I have a second.\r\n\r\nI\'m glad you liked it, and thanks for the lovely review! :D
There is something real and very much alive in how you capture raw emotion and desperation with your words, something so much more beautiful than saying Albus is depressed or feels cheated out of a promising future. Your presentation of Gellert from a distance twice (at the wedding, being the rascal Albus can't be anymore, and framed in the lit window, as seemingly perfect and naive as Albus wants to be) was simple, powerful, and appropriate. He stood out more for his silence throughout the chapter and his smile in the midst of a group of people like Tofty, Bagshot, and Augusta Longbottom, who are making conversation and being "almost sincere." Of all the gods you might have chosen to compare Gellert to, Hermes was a particularly good choice, esp. in the greater context of the story.
Pity isn't all that difficult a feat to achieve in fanfiction, but empathy is. Well done indeed!
Author's Response: Aw, thanks! I\'ve been appreciating your reviews.
I'm sort of blown away. Dumbledore as a young man was always hard for me to wrap my mind around, even in DH, but you've really got something here. Interaction between Dumbledore and Doge was smooth and convincing, and the nicknames got a laugh out of me. Dumbledore's reaction to his mother's death was particularly well done.
Have you ever read T.S. Eliot's 'The Wasteland'? There's a bit at the end of Part V, 'What the Thunder Said', that makes me think of the Dumbledore and Grindelwald whenever I read it...
Anyway, it was an elegant and aloof beginning, beautifully written, and I'd love to see how you handle Grindelwald's character.
Neville has always dreamt of being able to cure his parents for their mental disorders someday. When he finally learns about a mysterious fairytale Scandinavian being Näcken, he once again cherishes his old dreams and sets out in search of it.
Neville travels deep into the dark forests of Sweden, in a desperate search for the only being which might be able to heal his parents. But is it possible to find the Lord of the Rivers, and does he even exist?
However, Neville's journey takes a dangerous turn when two evil Death Eaters prepare for revenge on him.
This is JOHN91043353 of the magnificent, yet humble, Ravenclaw house for the Four Elements Challenge. This is the Water prompt.
I liked the Swedish setting, culture, and characters--Scandinavian countries feel distinctly different from southern Europe, and the Swedish bit really helps set the tone of the piece. Also, you did well capturing all the determination and maturity Neville shows at the end of DH and pouring it into how he handles himself in this adventure.
It is a bit heavy, so it wouldn't hurt to put in a bit of humour in later chapters, but that's really all I can think of. :) A refreshing read, very well done!
Author's Response: Thanks, I was afraid that I had put to much Sweden into it. Ah yes, hehe humour isn\'t my strongest side. I\'ll try to be more humorus in the upcoming chapters. :D\r\n\r\nMvH Johan
Author's Response: Thanks, I was afraid that I had put to much Sweden into it. Ah yes, hehe humour isn\'t my strongest side. I\'ll try to be more humorus in the upcoming chapters. \r\n\r\nMvH Johan
Wow. There's a really awkward, sad part of Friends playing in the background and I'm laughing like a maniac. I think I've seen Scorpius paired with...yeah, pretty much all of either Harry or Ron's children, with the exception of Hugo. Harry was great, trying to stop Draco going in.
Draco might well prefer Rose, though...at least then there would be a chance at grandkids. :)
That was really rather brilliant.
Gellert was very well done, and for all that it matters, I liked his character best. I guess Albus did too. 'Golden Lucifer' is a particularly apt description of the young Grindelwald, and what he meant to Albus; it was easy to sympathize with Albus, understand his fascination while comprehending the flaws of both. I definitely teared up at the end, when Albus puts out a hand and Gellert runs away.
I didn't really remember the fight, though. I thought Aberforth had instigated the fight somehow. Agh, when I get back to my dorm I'll have to go reread that part.
Oh, yeah, I should say I thought Aberforth was good too--especially in terms of his relationship to Arianna for the little bit you showed it, tying the ribbon in her hair and crying over her body. It was really moving, very tragic...
Excellent story! Good luck!
Author's Response: \'Really rather brilliant\'? Squee, man! Thanks. That\'s not what I was expecting.\r\n\r\nYeah, I do like the title. I thought of it afterwords and then put that line in the story. *shifty look*\r\n\r\nI have a particular penchant for Aberforth as well. It looked to me that he had a soft spot for his sister, judging by DH.\r\n\r\nThanks again!