05/23/05
http://alana23.livejournal.com/
Hello! I'm an Indian, Hufflepuff, HP-obsessed fanfiction reader and writer, beta-reader, member of the Susan Bones Book Club, member of the Society for Promotion of Better Evaluation of Writers (by Readers), Sirius fangirl, Harry/Luna shipper and a geek.
I discovered MuggleNet in the summer of 2005 and haven't left ever since. ♥
Thanks, bewitching, for the surprise banner! ♥
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A Seed From The Ground by Seren
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •
Summary: Auror-in-training Kingsley Shacklebolt is learning to blend in with the crowd in downtown London. There, he meets a small, lost girl, and learns how much impact a simple act of kindness can really have.
Date: 03/04/06 Title: Chapter 1: A Seed From the Ground
First of all, I have to say I was really amazed by the fic. In the beginning, the plot seemed to be going nowhere, but at the end, it made perfect sense. Your writing style is really simple without any extravagant flowery words and it suits your style well. You do a lot of showing that helps move the plot along really well. And the basic message in your fic was good. Ron seemed a bit strange to me because of his constant complaining, and I felt that part was a bit overdone, but I see it was necessary. Overall, it was an excellent read!
Imperius by Pallas
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: “Imperius… Werewolves…You-Know-Who…” The last words of a dying man force Remus Lupin into a dangerous investigation at the infamous Feral Institute. Sequel to Oblivious; pre-reading would be useful but it isn’t vital.
Date: 05/08/07 Title: Chapter 40: Caged
Wow. Just wow.
OMG, Pallas, you’re such an amazing writer! I was like completely sucked into it! The plot is just so amazing! I never would’ve guessed Dolph! And, Wormtail as the one impersonating was right there, and I never caught it! Brilliant.
And I have to say: I totally loved your Remus. He’s just so in character, yet we get to see sides of him that we’ve never seen in canon – like how he feels about Tonks. He was just so wonderful! There are so many things that we about him – his Dad, for one. And then his extended family. All of that makes Remus a really fleshed out character. Great job!
And Tonks is just so cool! I love how she’s dedicated to Remus and likes him for what he is. Her loyalty to Remus is great, especially when it’s needed for him. =]
And the bunch of OC’s – right from Reynard to Rebekah to Dolph – each of them are recognisable as individual characters. I like Rebekah in particular, and how her attitude towards Remus changes in the last few chapters. =]
Speaking of this chapter alone, the first thing that comes to my mind is the humour.
Chilli and raspberry. Oh, Fred and George were going to suffer…
*giggles* In the midst of all the action, that was such a nice touch! =]
And the reference to Marauderism was guh, perfect!
A few things you might want to take a look at:
Perhaps left alone in an isolated room, the doses of Wolfsbane consumed earlier in the week might have helped to calm them.
I think the flow of the sentence will improve if you left out the ‘to’ after ‘helped’.
The brother and sister continued to move forwards at a leisurely, if nervous pace, flinching every so often as they passed the growling, snapping jaws of a caged werewolf.
LOL, I love how put that Amycus and Alecto are scared – that ties in nicely with their reaction towards Greyback in HBP. :) I think there should be a comma after ‘nervous’ though.
And lastly, I have only one thing to say: please update! :D
One Last Tender Lie by GringottsVault711
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: Siobhan revisits her past, in his prison cell. Companion shot to 'Year Seven: Harry Potter & The Blood Debt', Pre-HBP Warning: This story contains a pairing between a young woman and a significantly older man. If this isn't your cup of tea, I'd advise staying away.
Date: 04/16/06 Title: Chapter 1: One Last Tender Lie
Just finished reading. And what can I say? It was sad, amazing, beautiful... I think I'm gonna run out of adjectives. And the initial nervousness of Siobhan was kind of disarming. I've never quite seen her so... vulnerable, and I was shocked, I tell you, shocked when she was so tensed up and all.
His pride was broken, but he was no less arrogant than he had been. Excellent characterization of Lucius here. He's one of the people who might go about with their heads high, even if they don't have one square meal per day. It was perfect.
“Not nearly the same amount of pleasure as you have given me on many occasions,” he replied.
“Bastard!” she spat. “I can’t believe I ever — ”
“Loved me?”
I detest Lucius for being so... insensitive. But, I liked her reaction when he asked if she loved him. The falteration, the heartache. Excellent.
She looked at the letters in her hand, before tuning to see his face for what she knew to be the last time.
Did you mean turning to see his face? Tuning to see his face sounds... odd.
Oh, and when exactly does this take place? Is this her visit to Gringotts in the BD, or does it take place later? I'm sorry if I'm being thick, but it wasn't clear to me. Anyway, loved everything about this one-shot. I can't ask you to update, so I'll just leave.
Harry Potter and the Unspeakable Power by mrsgeorgeweasley
Rated: 1st-2nd Years •Summary: After the trauma of his sixth year Harry and his friends enter into their last year of magical education at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. The trio try to balance passing their exams with fighting Voldemort and planning their futures. Despite all that, romance will fill the air with wedding bells ringing out. This year Harry is in more danger than ever when his enemy finds new ways to try and get the Boy Who Lived. Voldemort’s presence will be felt more than ever as he steals more lives; can Harry find himself before its too late? And what adventures will he have along the way?
If you haven’t read Harry Potter and The Girl Who Lived then I would strongly urge you to do so because if you don’t then this story probably won’t make any sense to you. Be helpful to writers by Reading and Reviewing!
The very last chapter of this fic has been reworked. Please re-read there's more about the kids in there! Also my author's notes on the final chapter have also been added. Ten part fic related to this going up shortly!!
Date: 11/26/05 Title: Chapter 12: Death Eater Encounter
*wipes eyes with tissue* that's the second time in two days you've done that. You gave me a heart attack when Remus was almost dead. Damn Lucius Malfoy!!! I'm so glad he's fine. There seem to be too many attacks, but then what can I expect when they are at war? Anyway, have a cookie, for the great chapter and refrain from giving us any more shock treatments.
Author's Response: My apologies for that. *coughNOTcough* A cookie, a cookie, a yummy, yummy cookie. *dances away with her cookie* I'm sorry, i can't refrain from giving you anymore shocks, it's not in my nature (or in my story).
Date: 11/16/05 Title: Chapter 6: Fatherly Advice.
Great update, Nat! Loved the chapter, and can't wait for Unwelcome Present!
The letter was awesome!
It astounded me that this tiny, pink, wrinkly (and rather ugly,) bundle was created out of the love that Lily and I had for each other (especially since we were so good looking).
Loved the sarcasm of James. You captured it very well.
“You don’t think they could but I know they couldn’t,"
Excellent! Exactly like someone like Ellie would say. (After all, you're the author, duh)
“So unless Hermione and Ginny are at death’s door you had better explain yourselves!”
H&G at death's door! OMG! So Mrs Weasley-ish!
“I’ve got four brothers I know all about it,” he added hastily to Mr. Weasley. This line needs a bit of punctuation, I think. Maybe a comma or a full stop after brothers?
Loved it, Nat! Very well written (as usual). Hope for an update soon!
Author's Response: The thing i love about James is his sense of humour, i think he really could have been an incredibly fun father. The bits you've picked out were some of my favourites too. I'm updating today!
Date: 11/26/05 Title: Chapter 13: The Safest Place
Another chapter up! Hats off to you and the mod who handles this section. Ellie's hint was great, though Harry didn't quite understand it. Maybe he will, eventually. They're back at Hogwarts, yay! And the whole conversation about R&H was simply great! Update soon, won't you, and have yummy chocalate gateau.
Author's Response: Yep, hats off to Nightfall. I've updated already and that gateaux sounds delish. But i think i'm full, i've eaten too much already.
Date: 11/24/05 Title: Chapter 9: Wedding Bells
They finally got married! Where to begin? George’s comment about the girls was very funny, so was Bill’s retort! And Harry! What was he thinking, putting poor Charlie through so much tension? Finally there’s another Mrs Weasley. Oh! I can’t wait to read the next one. Great chapter, Nat!
Author's Response:
Author's Response: Sorry, I'm not sure what happened there...As for Harry's line of thinking, I believe that it was only fair. Ellie and Charlie have been engaged for months now and Harry has hardly said a word about it, it was only fair that he be allowed to rib Charlie mericlessly. After all if it was the other way around then the Weasley boys would make Harry's life a nightmare, wouldn't they? There is indeed another Mrs. Weasley, and there's going to be a few more, after all there are 5 sons in that family.
Date: 11/24/05 Title: Chapter 10: Making A Speech
*dabs eyes hard with a tissue* It was really a very well-written chapter, Nat! Every speech made was beautiful and full of meaning in every word! Fred and George were the best. I think this chapter is the best till date. And, thanks for the amazingly fast updates. Can't wait for the next! (Don't forget to have a cookie for fast updates)
Author's Response: I tried my best to make sure that everybody said something appropriate and i'm so thrilled that you feel they did. You think this was the best one? Hmmm, we'll see what you think at the end of the story. Don't thank me for the fast updates, thank the wonderful mod who's working so hard to keep R/Hr AND H/G clean and tidy. She's doing a stellar job of it too. The next chapter is in the queue so i would imagine it'll be up shortly.
Date: 11/12/05 Title: Chapter 5: Coming of Age
Nice update! Good to see all of them gathered celebrating. I loved the part when Ellie gives Harry his present. Classic!
Few nit-picks:
Harry and Neville weren't born on the same day. Neville was born on 30 July, a day before Harry.
And, when Harry gets his present from F&G, he says Mad-Eye was the inspiration. Shouldn't it be Barty Crouch Jr?
Finally, Fourth Year was misspelt.
Apart from that, great chapter. I can't wait for the next! 10/10!
Author's Response: I'm glad you liked it. As for your nit picks, i just double checked and i did put in the fact that Neville was born the day before Harry. They just had the party on Harry's birthday. As for the Mad-Eye/BCJ thing, technically speaking you are, of course, right. But it strikes me as something that Mad-Eye would do, at the time nobody mentioned that it seemed out of character for Moody. I'll try and re-phrase it to better explain who it was that did the jinxing. I'll fix the spelling in a second, thanks for pointing it out.
Date: 11/26/05 Title: Chapter 14: The Broken Curse
The curse is broken, YAY! And I'm not accepting any apologies for the Sorting Hat's song, it was great! Great Animagi lesson. Will they all be able to become Animagi? I'll have to just wait, I guess. Have a cookie!
Author's Response: They all will be able to become Animagi, but unfortunately it isn't going to play all that big a part in the story.
Date: 11/26/05 Title: Chapter 15: Interesting Behaviours
Wow! Another chapter up! So fluffy ^_^ I can't wait for the next one. And what does Ron have up his sleeve? Anyway, loved the whole exchange between Ellie and Charlie, they do have to take up sides won't they? Oh, poor souls, detention! Serves Harry and Ginny right, though. Anyway, enough of my rambling, have a nice day, and update.
Author's Response: Of course Ellie and Charlie have to take sides, it's only natural. I'll have a lovely day, i hope you do too.
Date: 12/31/05 Title: Chapter 37: When We Grew Up
Nat, I sincerely apologise for not reviewing almost half the fic. I had an accident and was hospitalised for most of December, so forgive me. My apologies aside, the fic was great if I had to describe it in one word. You managed to mix romance and angst in an equal amount, most enjoyable. The modification of the Avada Kedavra curse was amazing, how it was white instead of green. And Ellie being reborn from the ashes was magnificent, I almost thought she would die. And I'm all for the new ten chapter fic. Thank you for the great fic and keep writing more, please. Oh, and three cheers for Harry Potter and the Unspeakable Power.
Date: 11/29/05 Title: Chapter 16: Hermione's Surprise
Wow! I thought Ron was up to something strange, but he was actually planning Hermione's birthday? That was really cool. And the poem, each line was so meaningful, no wonder Hermione had tears in her eyes. And Harry's becoming rather protective of Hermione, like they were brother and sister. Bless him. Until the next one, then.
Author's Response: Harry really feels like Hermione is the closest thing that he has to a sister and he will protect her at all costs. Thankfully, he accredits her with more smarts than the Weasley brothers do with Ginny.
Date: 11/29/05 Title: Chapter 17: Career's Advice
Wow, great chapter. The careers of all the characters (especially Hermione) were aptly chosen, I couldn't think of a better choice for all of them. And the last two paragraphs were so sad. You captured Minerva's emotions well, and the comparison of Harry to James was so nice. Oh, and you deserve a cookie for the superb chapter. Until the next chapter comes out, then.
Author's Response: Yet another cookie, hooray! The careers that i picked here aren't exactly what they will end up doing, but they won't stray too far from these ideas.
Date: 11/05/05 Title: Chapter 1: The Best Summer
I'm so sorry I didn't review it earlier. I was just checking your bio to see if you had the sequel up yet, and today, my lucky day, I saw the story up!
Yay! The first chapter was so great. But I feel that the six year summary could have been more brief. Still, it didn't sound boring.
And then, Gred and Forge! How I love reading about them. You captured them perfectly. Ellie was surely brave enough to try one of their products.
And then the castle! Such an innovative idea for a new place. It's lucky that Harry hasn't read "Hogwarts: A History", isn't it? "Hermione the talking version" made me laugh! I really hope Ellie wins, but I want to read about thier marriage soon, so let Charlie win the bet!
And Ron, I pity him! Poor boy, he's got his heart in the right place, but he doesn't know how to expressit that's all. So sad of him and Hermione. Hope they join in the subsequent chapters! Oh and this one:“Why does your brother have to be such a dim-witted numbskull?”
“Probably for the same reason you sometimes do!” she protested. My God! I had stitches in my sides after I finished!
And finally Harry and Ginny! Not my favourite pairing, but still I'll read it simply because you're the author! Straight into my faves! 10/10 (as usual)
Author's Response: Welcome back! The criticism of the six year summary is fine, i knew myself that it wasn't my best writing, but in the end i couldn't think of a better way to phrase it.
As you well know, I am a huge F/G fan and i can't resist adding them in.
It is certainly very lucky that Harry hasn't read Hogwarts A History. I can't help thinking that something important is going to lie in that book.
I'm glad that you liked the humour, there are a good few bits and peices of it scattered through the fic. I can't wait to hear from you after the future chapters.
Date: 11/06/05 Title: Chapter 2: Freeing Neville
*Beats herself Dobby style* I can't believe you have 4 chapters up, and I’ve reviewed only one! I promise to check everyday for updates hereafter. So, onto the chapter.
It was so funny. Operation Trevor! I laughed hard at this that my mom came to see what had happened! Ellie’s comment about the Operation Trevor was so funny. Though, does Ellie know Mrs L so well that they’re on first-name terms? And, it came as a surprise to me that she allowed Neville to go so freely. Maybe that’s because she’s probably realised that Neville is no longer a baby? And onwards to Neville: “I like the colour; it’s nearly the same shade as mine,” It brought out Neville’s character very well.
And the kiss! Ron’s disgust at the kiss was very much like the one in HBP. His character was brought out so well. “He may be, but I’m not!” OMG! Ginny was certainly very Ginny-ish here.
And then comes Professor Sprout. If she came to the HQ, does that mean she’s in the Order? Good thing though.
And, the Quidditch match! “By any chance were you a Muggle soldier in a past life?” OMG! Where d’you come up with such stuff? I can’t believe it! I was laughing throughout. Ellie attempted a foul, didn’t she? Anyways, I thought Harry was a better Seeker than Charlie, so no worries. OK, so that’s that. It was a great chapter, Nat, (I usually say this in the beginning, but for a change it’s gone to the end), and I enjoyed it thoroughly.
Oh, and I noticed two of your stories have five star rating, so congrats!
Author's Response: You posed a very good question there. Does Ellie know Augusta sufficiently well to be on first name terms with her? The answer would be yes. The two of them are in frequent correspondance about Neville (you may remember Mrs. L mentioning that Ellie had written to her back in 'Aurors and Good Howlers' of TGWL).
The reason she was so happy to let Neville go is that she knows he'll be safe with Ellie, she is his teacher and Albus Dumbledore's granddaughter after all.
To answer another of your questions, yes, Professor Sprout is in the Order, she wasn't originally but joined soon after Voldemort returned.
You're absolutely right about Ellie, she did indeed attempt a foul. The the Seeker thing is quite a hot debate at the minute. I mean we know that Harry is good, but Charlie was England material. Is Harry as good as that?
I do indeed have two stories with 5* ratings, I am grateful beyond words to the fabulous readers who have heaped such glory upon my meager shoulders *stoops into a Dobby-like bow* Thank you, thank you!
Date: 11/06/05 Title: Chapter 3: Return to Godric's Hollow
Interesting chapter, Nat! Nice walk down memory lane for them, wasn’t it? Bad thing Harry chose to take Ginny and not Ron. But this chapter had a great contrast to the previous one. And these quotes were priceless:
“Remus was clutching her arm very tightly, Harry wasn’t sure if it was to steady himself or her.” Must be so hard for him and this line brought it out well.
“Remus, you and I are supposed to be acting responsibly and rationally, we are not supposed to be encouraging our charge to lock lips with poor, unsuspecting teenage girls!”
“I must apologize to Ginny for what I’m about to say… but she is hardly a ‘poor, unsuspecting teenage girl’ I’m afraid that you’re only right on two counts there,” Remus reminded her. Priceless!
And Ellie the Drama Queen! Her speech was a bit like Moaning Myrtle. So funny! Sorry for the irrelevant comparison, but it just came to me. Altogether, very enjoyable!
Author's Response: Bad thing that Harry chose Ginny and not Ron? You didn't approve of his choice in company? Interesting.
The sections you've picked out were some of my favourites. I think that we tend to forget how much Remus has suffered and i really wanted to revisit that idea in this chapter.
You're right, Ellie did have a bit of a Moaning Myrtle moment there, didn't she? Thanks for reviewing!
Date: 11/23/05 Title: Chapter 8: Graves
Wow! I can't wait for the real marriage, it's actually happening! The chapter was so funny as well as sad. The Weasleys' Wedding Woes! Classic! And the family motto of the Potters! Very innovative! I'm looking forward to the actual marriage, Nat! Hope you have that up soon. Thanks, and have a cookie!
Author's Response: More cookies? Wow, you people must really like me! I can't stake claim to the Potter family motto, it comes from Sapphire's HP Family Quiz, which you can take is you visit my bio page and click on the link.
Date: 11/07/05 Title: Chapter 4: The Second Return
This is the best chapter till date, I guess. Tonks’ outburst was so good, and she didn’t seem OOC at all. Great job!
And then the Potter Hall! Great-Grandparents were really indignant and nit-picky, weren’t they? The whole incident with Ginny and Harry in the bath! Priceless!
“Seems such a pity to break with tradition,” he said mockingly.
I agree with Remus, you can’t leave either of them alone for even a second!
Charlie’s indignation at Ginny and Remus’ comment were all so nice. One nit-picky thing- it is spelt Messrs.
F&G! OMG! If one of them had been a girl, I certainly would have been a F/G shipper. Great chapter, all in all! I bow down to your writing, Nat!
Author's Response: *grins* Best chapter to date, huh? Great! Maybelle and Alistair were very indignant, that's what happens when you're left to your own devices for 16 years.
Thanks for pointing out the Messrs thing, I'll go and fix it ASAP. I'm over the moon that you enjoyed it so much!
Date: 11/25/05 Title: Chapter 11: Anxious Alley
Wow! That's an evil cliffie, update soon, please. This chapter was great! Ron and Hermione for HB&HG! Hurray! It's so embarrasing for Ron with Mrs Weasley. Poor boy! Have a nice day, and a homemade cookie! Update while you're at it.
Author's Response: Sorry about the evil ciffie, I've updated already. A home made cookie? You're so nice to me!